I'll try here to tell Erwin's story, but it will be how I see Erwin Smith. How I think he goes through certain moments. I'll follow the storyline and will end it where the anime ended, so there will be no spoilers.

Enjoy!

...

"On that day mankind received a grim reminder: we lived in fear of the Titans and were disgraced to live in these cages we called walls."

And Erwin remembered that day all too well. That morning they had started a new mission, one Erwin had thoroughly planned. He hadn't been commander for long. About a year after his predecessor fell in the hands of the titans. He had been chosen afterwards as the new leader, having showed how well he could lead a squad and how he had come up with many new strategies on fighting for new grounds to live on. Erwin had been honoured and made himself a promise that he would succeed. It would be him who led the Scouting Legion to victory.

But then everything changed. They had been on their way for a few hours and had come across some titans who had attacked their squad. As they fought a sudden loud bang reached them. It had almost sounded like an explosion. But it couldn't be. As Erwin's gaze had moved towards the area they had just left, he could see the steam rising up over the trees. At this point he knew that something was wrong and that his people were in danger. He felt responsible for all of them. He was there to protect them all and he had fought so hard for such a long time already. He had sacrificed so many men and women along the way just to keep the inhabitants safe.

Erwin didn't even give it a second thought and told everyone to retreat. Mike had fired the signal and as they rode home, he could feel his team being on edge as well. It was instincts for all of them. They had enough experience to know that something was off.

The second explosion didn't come much later after they had decided to turn around and go back. This only urged them on more, making their horses to go faster than they had ever run. Erwin's heart was racing, but his face was as blank as ever. His mind was not though. Many different scenes were running through his head. Several scenarios on what could have happened almost haunting him at this point. But what they got home to was something none of them had expected.

When they reached the wall again, they immediately noticed the big hole in the gate and all the titans that still moved through. Determined Erwin moved on, swiftly riding through the many titans and escaping so many death grips, but he just needed to check on the people. But it was already too late. Shiganshina was taken over. So many bodies and limbs lying scattered around. And all that Erwin hoped right now was that they hadn't gotten to Wall Maria yet. That she had survived.

But Wall Maria had been lost as well. Not many titans had reached this point yet and the Scouting Legion tried to fight them all off, but in the end it was all too late. They saved as many people as they could, riding them to safety. But still they did not return with their head held high. Not one time did they have something good to tell and this time it even felt worse. They had actually lost something and Erwin blamed himself. What if he had arranged the mission a day later? What if he had stayed back? What if they had never left? So many lives might've been saved.

And when the news came that it had been titans who had destroyed the walls, Erwin didn't know what to think. It didn't feel right. Titans weren't intelligent, seemed to move purely on instinct. But kicking in a gate or running through one was different. It meant these titans could think. That they could plan. Maybe even had been aware of the fact that the Scouting Legion would be gone. Erwin didn't really believe in luck. And the appearances hadn't fit the description of a normal titan. They had looked like skinless titans, only muscles shown.

Nothing seemed to add up, but Erwin just didn't have enough information. He hadn't been there and no one had even been prepared for such an attack. How could they? They had lived in peace for a hundred years. Not one time had Erwin thought that this would be the time something went wrong. But after that he had been on edge every time he planned a new mission. It had taken him months to even consider leaving Wall Rose, scared such an attack would happen again without them being there. But eventually they needed to go. They needed their territory back. People had already died in a futile attempt to claim Wall Rose back. It had not been Erwin's idea, but they had lived with too many and food was scarce. He understood why the decision had been made.

The first mission after Wall Maria fell had been short and they Legion had stayed very close to the wall, but nothing happened and everything went by smoothly. They had even lost fewer men than before. The mission after that had gone by the same and they had ridden further out, covering more ground. But it had taken a full year before Erwin could move out without his mind constantly being with Wall Rose. And still after that he had always anticipated another attack, because the enemy would not rest until all the walls would be destroyed, that was something Erwin was sure of.

So when the second attack came three years later after the first, Erwin was not surprised, but he wasn't ready either. His blue eyes widened a little as he turned to face the familiar exploding sound, almost able to hear the stone shatter underneath the pressure of the kick. The whole Legion had gone quiet, everyone only thinking 'not again.'

Feeling his right hand move beside him, Erwin glanced over at Levi and seeing the silvery eyes look back, he was ready to go back and face the enemy once more. Sometimes you just needed the support of your corporal, because at this point Erwin felt like he had lost again.

This time they did arrive in time. Wall Rose had not yet fallen and Trost was just reclaimed, although they still had no idea how they had managed that. The gate was blocked by a huge boulder and they had to go over the wall rather than through it. And here they only had to fight the few leftover titans that the Garrison had not managed to kill yet.

Erwin quickly learned how many soldiers the Garrison had lost to block the gate and that it had been a new recruit that had managed to do it. He was only a boy really. Fifteen years old and fresh out of the training camp.

But now Erwin had found out something new. The fact that a boy could change into a fifteen meter tall titan was enough of a clue for the other titans. He made the connection immediately. If he could, then more should be able to as well and the boy had been intelligent enough to focus on only killing titans and after that blocking the gate. It could perform things, just like the other titans were able to do. So they would be human as well which meant their own kind was attacking them, bringing them closer to death with every kick to the gate. They were here to exterminate them for whatever reason.

The next question was if they could actually trust this boy. The one who had closed the gate and possibly had saved them all from losing another wall. But what had been his interest? Of course it could be just to help mankind, but it could also be about not getting caught or having a way to get deeper into the Military. So many uncertainties.

Even after the long talks with the Garrison about what truly had happened and after that the discussions he had with the Legion, he still did not know what to truly think. Sitting in his office, he wrote down all the possibilities and outcomes that matched. Erwin liked writing things down. It cleared his mind a little, even if it wasn't ever truly empty.

He had no clue on how long he had been sitting in his office. At some point he remembered his stomach growling, but it had stopped after Erwin had ignored it long enough. He should've eaten, but he didn't like leaving his ideas alone when there was still so much to consider. How to get information out of the titan-shifter for example. Erwin didn't know the boy well enough, could barely remember his name even. Eren Jaeger. What was his story? He needed to talk to him as soon as possible. Of course today he couldn't do that anymore. No one would appreciate it when he stopped by after dark at this ungodly hour.

Still bended over his papers, Erwin never noticed someone coming in. That was until this person sat down right next to his hand, putting his own down on the papers Erwin had been focused on. At this point Erwin knew exactly who it was. There really was only one person who bothered him at this time.

Sitting back in his chair his blue eyes went up and locked eyes with the corporal. They both stayed silent for a while, waiting on the other to give up and say something. And it was Erwin that lost. Because Levi would never lose a staring game.

"I'll be done soon," Erwin plainly said and scooped up some of the papers to stack them neatly together on his desk. He just needed to figure out this last thing. Just on what he would need to know first of the boy. That was all and then he went to bed.

But Levi knew better than that. Somewhere it was annoying, but without Levi Erwin would probably never get any rest. Levi reached for the papers that Erwin was still holding and laid them down at the end of the desk behind him where Erwin could not reach. "You're done now. It's been a long day and you need to sleep."

Erwin was disgusted by the word sleep. He could not sleep. It was just a waste of time. A time where he could be thinking of new strategies. Maybe he would not miss anything this time. Maybe he would find out a way to not lose any of the soldiers of the Scouting Legion. "I won't sleep," he replied back.

Levi scowled down at Erwin and he knew the corporal felt the urge to punch him. Levi always had been rather violent if he thought it would work, but he knew better than to hit his superior. "You will sleep, even if I have to drag you to your bed. You are the commander and people count on you to be fit. So sleep now, you idiot."

And of course Erwin listened, because when it came to these things, he trusted Levi more than himself. Erwin knew exactly how to manage a mission and how to solve practical problems, but how to take care of himself was not something he really cared about. He neglected it quite often.

Moving through the now quiet streets, Levi walked him home, making sure he really got there, because apparently he looked like he was about to pass out. Erwin thought he was exaggerating, but still appreciated the gesture.

Glancing down at the corporal Erwin studied Levi's blank face. It was almost always completely void of any expression. Only his eyes sometimes let on a certain emotion or a tightening around his thin lips. But you needed to recognise those small signs, because otherwise Levi just seemed bored, cold and distant. He was hard to get through to anyway and it were the small signs that let Erwin know he meant something for the corporal, although he wasn't sure what position he held, but Erwin considered Levi a friend.

"When was the last time you smiled?" he casually asked, wanting to break the silence with a very odd subject.

The silvery orbs glanced up out of the corner of his eyes. Levi stayed silent for a moment longer, seeming to be studying Erwin's face as the commander had done before to him. "I could ask you the same question."

That was true and Erwin honestly could not answer it. When was the last time he had smiled? A very long time ago in a time that was much happier than this. He wondered if it would ever get better from this point on.

Characters © Attack on Titan/ Shingeki no Kyojin

Let me know what you think!