Five Nights at Homer's
(So this was an idea I had a while back after Five Nights at Freddy's 2 came out. I plan to make a whole series of this. Here we go!)
Night 1
"You got fired!?" Marge asked in dismay. The Simpsons were sitting down to a spaghetti dinner and Homer had just announced that he had lost his job at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. "Yeah. Mr. Burns caught me sleeping on the job and released the hounds on my ass!" Homer said, trying to play the victim. "Oh Homie. What are we going to do for money?" Marge asked. Homer took a big gulp of spaghetti and said "Don't worry Honey. I'll just find another job." He turned to Bart and said "Boy, get me the paper!" Bart just rolled his eyes and handed the classifieds to Homer. "Thanks boy! Okay let's see what we got here." He said. "Ohh! They need help at the Springfield Animal Shelter" Lisa said. "Nah. Last time I volunteered, I got rabies" Homer said. Then he looked at the paper and his eyes grew wide. "Oh my God The need a night guard for Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria!"
"Freddy Whobear's Whatzia?" Marge said, utterly confused. "Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria." Bart answered. "It's like Chuck E Cheese but less traumatizing." "Here Marge look" Homer said handing the paper over to Marge. Marge took it and looked it over. The heading read "HELP WANTED". Below the heading was a picture of an animatronic bear with a top hat, bowtie and a microphone in one of its paws. Next to the picture was some text. It read: Family Pizzeria looking for security guard to work the night shift. 12 am to 6 pm. Monitor Cameras, ensure safety of equipment and animatronic characters. Not responsible for injury/dismemberment. $120 a week. To apply call 1-888-FAZ-FAZBEAR. "hmmm. I don't like the sound of that injury/dismemberment warning. I don't think you should do it Homer." Marge put down the paper just in time to see Homer putting down his phone. "Sorry Marge. Did you say something? I just got off the phone with Mr. Fazbear. He said to meet him tomorrow at 12 at Freddy's." "D'oh!" Marge said. "Awww I wanna go too!" Bart said. "You can all come." Homer replied. "You'll just skip school tomorrow." "All right!" Bart said 'D'oh!" Lisa said
The next day, The Simpsons went to Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria. The first thing they saw in they went inside was the animatronics. There was the bear from the newspaper. "Hey everybody! My name's Freddy Fazbear. Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria! HA HA HA!" The bear said while wiggling his ears. "Meet my friends, Bonnie the Bunny." Freddy motioned to a lavender rabbit animatronic wearing a red bowtie and holding a orange guitar. "Howdy folks" Bonnie said. Freddy then mentioned to the yellow chicken animatronic wearing a bib that said "Let's Eat!" and holding a cupcake. "And Chica the Chicken." "Hello everyone! Who wants to hear a song?" Chica said. The crowd went wild. "Just ONE female animatronic?" Lisa said in disgust. "That's it. I'm going back to school." Lisa started walking away. "Lisa! Come back!" Marge said. "Oh she'll be fine ma'am." A wealthy-looking man said. "She'll be fine." "I'm Homer Jay Simpson." Homer said. "I'm here for the job." "Hello Mr. Simpson." The man said, while shaking Homer's hand. "My name is Mark Pliers. Just call me Mr. Pliers." Homer giggled. "Alright. Hello Mr. Pliers" He said. "So you want the job huh?" Mr. Pliers said. "That correct sir" Homer said. "Alright. Let's see what you can do"
"Dumb sexist pizzeria" Lisa mumbled to herself. "Just one female animatronic." Lisa looked up and saw something that caused her to stop in her tracks. Before her was some sort of entrance. The words above the doorway read Pirate's Cove. The doorway itself was concealed by a purple curtain with stars all over it. A sign was posted in front of the curtain that read "Sorry! Out of order." Lisa was intrigued. "What's this?" she said. She started to walk toward the cove when she was stopped by a man in a blue uniform. "Whoa there little girl! You can't go in there." The man said in a friendly voice. "Mister." Lisa said. "What's behind that curtain?" "Oh that's just old Foxy." The man said. "He's retired." "Retired?" Lisa said. "Yep. He don't wanna be bothered, so come on." The man said as he led Lisa away from Pirate's Cove. Lisa couldn't help but take one last look. (I don't know why) She thought. (But I have a feeling Foxy isn't just retired.)
"Hmm." Mr. Pliers said as he looked over Homer's resume. "You know Homer I have to say I like what I see!" Then He turned to Homer and said "Your Hired!" All Homer could say was "Whoo-Hoo!"
"All right! First night at Freddy's!" Homer said to himself. He was sitting in the middle of his new office. There was a fan, a cupcake with eyes for some reason, and a soda cup Homer had filled with Duff beer on the desk in front of Homer. Above the desk was a poster featuring Freddy, Bonnie, and Chica with the word "Celebrate!" above them. Homer checked the monitor. There were several rooms Homer had to watch over. He viewed the show stage and saw the animatronics. He became unsettled. There was something disturbing about the way the animatronics looked in the dark. "Man, That rabbit chick sure is scary." Homer mumbled.
The phone began to ring. Homer wasn't surprised. He had been told he would receive a phone recorded message tonight and every night for his first week on the job.
"Hello, hello?" A voice said. "Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay?"
"Okay" Homer said with glee, feeling at the top of the world.
"Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon as property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced.""
"What the?" Homer said suddenly feeling uneasy.
"Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay."
"I guess." Homer grumbled.
"So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?"
"Ahhh! Frontal Lobe! What the?" Homer said, understandably terrified at this point.
"Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll p-most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to...forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh."
"Oh my god! Oh my god are you serious?" Homer yelled out at the phone.
"Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night."
The recording stopped there.
"G-g-good n-n-night-t." Homer said scared out of his mind. "Alright Homer. Just relax. It's probably just a company joke." That thought made Homer feel much better. "Yeah. Just a joke to scare the rookie." Homer said to himself as he checked the monitor. "Just a j-OH MY GOD WHERE'S THE RABBIT!?"
Sure enough, Bonnie had disappeared from the show stage. Homer franticly looked for Bonnie only to find him in the Dining Area. "Oh my god!" How'd he get their so fast!?" Homer said. He sat there, looking at the monitor, dreading when Bonnie would try to get to the office.
Homer kept tracking the rabbit animatronic as it made its way to Homer's office. He almost pissed himself when Bonnie peeped out the doorway. "Oh no you don't!" Homer shouted as he closed the door on Bonnie.
Homer checked the monitor again to see that now Chica was gone. "Ahh! Now the duck's gone!" Homer screamed. "Where is it? Where is it?"
Before Homer found Chica, The sound of children filled Homer's ears. It was 6:00AM. Homer looked back at the monitor to see both Bonnie and Chica next to Freddy. "Whew!" Homer said. "I'm safe!" Homer then remembered he had to come back the next night. He gulped "For now."
(Uh oh! Looks like Homer is in trouble. Will he survive five nights at Freddy's or get stuffed in a suit? Stay tuned!)