Hello all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I am getting sick of my little series, and in the future just may ( I copy Mage Melery) have a mass slaughter and have everything over and done with. But I'll do a couple more, see if I like it again, and if I still can't get a decent plot, everybody's gonna be killed by a wild spidren that comes racing out of the middle of nowhere. But for now, this is just one of my mindless little fanfics that I'm writing for fun, and personally, you may trash it if you want, you may tell me that it sucks, but I DO NOT CARE!!! no evil comments, please. Save your breath, the following stinks. Anyway, here goes my pathetic attempt at something NEW! Presenting................................
*~My wild weird pathetic encounter with Kel, Cleon, and other Tamora Pierce characters~*
I, the author, sit down at my computer, prepared to write a Tamora Pierce Fic. I take one of my random Tamora Pierce books and open it to a random page, and suddenly I spot a scene where Cleon and Kel are alone. [ authors note: If you do not like Cleon, I suggest you would forget reading this. ] Now I, the author, frowns upon this scene, since it is not how it should be. [authors note: I LIKE NEAL! I LIKE NEAL! WHO LET STUPID OLE CLEON IN ANYWAY? I HATE CLEON. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT GUY! HE IS RUINING NEAL'S CHANCES WITH KEL! GRRRR..... HE SHOULD BE GLAD HE IS AN IMAGINARY CHARACTER THAT DOES NOT EXIST, OR I WOULD STALK HIM OR SOMETHING.........yikes. I'm scaring myself again.]
Now where was I, oh yes, I see Cleon with Kel alone. I being the author, suddenly wonders:
" Wouldn't it be cool if all of the sudden something happened so that Cleon would appear from the book into my room? It always happens in those fanfics....."
Suddenly Cleon appears in front of me, the author ( no kidding)
" Pearl of my heart-where am I?" He asks, confused. I am currently stunned as the imaginary Cleon stares at me. " Well---- why am I here?" I, the author, finally come up with an answer.
" Because your ruining Tamora Pierce's story, that's why. And while you're here, I have a couple of things to say to you!"
Cleon ignores me, the author, and begins reading what I have written.
" WHAT! I am not trying to steal Kel from Neal! It's always Cleons fault, oh Neal is just so perfect. Geez, you hardly know me. Imaginary indeed! Neal has no idea who you are, and I have no idea who you are. WHY SHOULD YOU CARE?"
I, the author, am getting mad.
" Look Cleon, first of all, whenever I think of your name, I think of a clown with red hair! 2nd of all, NEAL AND KEL, KEL AND NEAL! YOU'RE DOING IT ON PURPOSE! CAN'T YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON DAINE OR SOMEBODY?"
" I can't help it I like Kel. And why are you yelling at me? Neal has a crush on Daine. I think you're pretty conceited and racist to have judgements on people like this! Besides, no one like me but Kel.......... I want to have a girlfriend!"
I, the author, gets a brand new evil little idea. I race to my bookshelf and grab the circle of magic. I flip wildly through the pages, and before Cleon can stop me, I summon up Tris. [authors note: Tris lovers, you may not want to read this either.] Why I do not like Tris: I don't really dislike her like I dislike Cleon, but I always thought she was annoying, though she does have really cool powers.
Tris blinks her eyes, and glares at me through her glasses.
" what am I doing here?"
I, the author, shove her towards Cleon
" Cleon, meet Tris. Tris, meet Cleon. You two are going to be dating, ok?"
" WHAT! HIM!" Tris squeals.
" WHAT! HER!" Cleon yells.
" Yeah. You guys would make a perfect match. You're both annoying, you both uhhh...are annoying! That similarity should be enough. Be happy Cleon. I was about to pair you up with Zahnr bitterclaws."
" I demand an judge here! Who made you a goddess?" Cleon demands.
" I want one too! Why is it always me? Oh let me guess, Trisana wears glasses and is ugly! She must be perfect for this loser! Oh just leave me alone!."
" I'll have you know I am not a loser. And where is the judge?"
I, the author, grab one of my Alanna books and quickly look up a scene where Alanna is. BanG! Suddenly, Alanna is here, along with Jon and George.
I quickly explain the situation to them. Alanna shakes her head.
" You goddesses! Always interfering with other people's lives! Now really, let Cleon come back with us, and send this girl back where she came from."
Jon steps up.
" this is a really interesting machine you have here. You must be a pretty powerful wizard. Tell you what. I'll make sure Cleon doesn't bother Kel , and you can teach me some of your magic."
" JON!" Alanna cries, throwing her arms up in the air.
George speaks.
" Now, Alanna, don't ya go an' get all excited. Let's try and handle things reasonably."
Alanna whirls on poor George.
" YOU TOO! JON, THEN GEORGE! REALLY, THIS CRAZED GODDESS OR MAGE, WHATEVER SHE IS,IS TRYING TO TAKE CLEON AWAY! WHO KNOWS WHAT SHE MAY DO TO US! TO TORTALL? MEN! I'M GOING TO GO LOOK UP NUMAIR!"
Alanna disappears. Immediately I, the author, begin to worry. I might of just caused George to never be married to Alanna. I might of caused Alanna to run off with Numair, but that isn't right, because what about Daine and Numair? NO NO NO! so if Alanna and Numair get married, Daine is.... basically, here I, the author, will give you an equation of this chaos.
Cleon+ Tris+Alanna+Alanna's temper+George+Jon+me= CHAOS!
I whirl on Cleon.
" CLEON, YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF THIS! THIS NEVER WOULD OF HAPPENED IF YOU HAD JUST NOT HIT ON KEL!"
" What do you mean it's my fault? Who's the matchmaker who decided to bring me here in the first place?"
Soon we are all fighting, me and Cleon about who's fault it is, Tris and Jon about whether or not the computer is high magic. Finally George cuts in.
" QUIET ALL! NOW goddess, wizard, whatever you are, take us to Tortall, so we can try and fix this mess."
I, the author, who is in awe of George as well as being a big fan of his, imediatley grabs a tamora Pierce book, and open it. Suddenly, we are all sucked into the book, and are.........................................
To be continued...........................
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hahahahhhahahah. I think that was fun to write, even if it wasnt fun to read! Now you guys can put down this story all you want, but I liked it!!!