It is hard to live a life
disclaimer- I own no characters only theplot
sorry if rubbish, it's my first.
It is hard to live a life without a regret. Without some thought of I wish I had done this or I wish I hadn't done that.
Now I wish I hadn't trusted the Weasley's or Dumbledoor, they had lied and cheated to make sure I was friends with them. To trust them and their ideas. To only believe what they say or what they tell me to do.
It can not be life without regrets I regret all that and more. Not excepting Draco's friendship, not agreeing to become slytherin.
The pain they brought me mentally was too much to bear. I felt like the walls were closing In. That every breath I took was taking all my energy. Living a day at a time felt so crippling. I could hardly live a minute at a time.
I wallowed in self pity for 3 months after Sirius' death. Blaming myself for the death of the one person I could truly trust. The only link to my family was now floating around an endless space, no where to go, nothing to see and no one to talk to. Hermione's parents had removed her from hogwarts then, we talked by owl for the first 2 months but then they stopped comin.
After this I took my anger out on myself using a knife to my skin. It felt so refreshing to see that red liquid gushing out my arm. Self injury is something that gives me relief. But they nearly found out. They saw me hide the knife. But I need to cut, it gets me thought the days and nights. I never cut s hard that it kills me, just enough to feel relief then I stop.
It had all gone wrong that night. I heard them all talk. They had killed my parents nor Voldermort and they had tried to kill me. It had been to much. I cut to hard that night, I cut right through my ulnar artery. I bled too much and it wouldn't stop. My mind became hazy, I couldn't breath. I lasted long enough to see a blond head screaming at me begging me to live.
Thanks for reading xxx