Prologue

November 3rd - 1981

Remus John Lupin sat alone in the hard wooden church pew. He coughed slightly, sending a loud echo bouncing back to him from the cold stone walls and statues.

His father had always loved this church. John Lupin had been a Muggle-born, and a Christian; Lupin was not a pure-blood name. Remus had always felt some awe whenever he entered a church with his father, he could feel an unexplained calmness enter his soul.

But not today. He was no longer a child, but he had never felt so small in all his life. Tears ran freely down his cheeks without shame. The small church was empty, and there was no-one there to comment on the broken remnants of his life.

Lily and James: dead. Gone forever, like his parents, like his childhood innocence - ripped away from him in one terrible night before this weak silver dawn. Barely two nights ago, October thirty-first: Hallowe'en.

It was almost fitting that it should be Hallowe'en. The night that Muggles and wizards alike renewed their superstitions. The night the Dark Lord Voldemort fell. The dawn should be rejoicing.

Sirius, a traitor? How? How could he do this to Lily and James, to Dumbledore, to little Peter? How could he do it to me? Sirius had always been bright, he had always been loyal.

Not always... said a nasty voice inside his head. Was he loyal when he tried to use you to kill Snape in school? Was he loyal when he blew Peter and that Muggle street apart only twelve hours ago?

Remus sat, frozen in shock. All those Muggles, it was so unlike the friend he had held so dearly. Yet he had seen the Ministry take a hysterical Sirius from the street littered with bodies...and his old friend had been so distant from him these past few months...

Just look at his family... the voice continued. The apple never falls far from the tree...

From his shadowed seat Remus saw the large oak doors creak open. He watched as a figure cloaked in black made his way slowly and tentatively up the aisle, as though expecting to be burned. As the figure sat on a pew not far from Remus, he let his hood fall back. It was Severus Snape.

What in God's name is that man doing in a Muggle church? Remus wondered. His pain was briefly overtaken by curiosity, as he saw the guilt the man in front of him carried. He reached out hesitantly, and touched the shoulder of his childhood enemy.

Snape exhaled heavily in shock, and swung around on his seat to face Remus.

"Lupin!"

Remus could see suffering and pain in the man's fathomless black eyes, which were quickly masked by their owner.

"What are you doing here, Severus? This is a Muggle church."

"I am perfectly aware of my surroundings, Lupin." His face turned into an ugly sneer. "Haven't you got friends to grieve over? Good to see Potter finally get his come-uppance, although I hear he's left a bit of himself behind."

Remus wanted to lash out, but the grief wracking through his body prevented him from seizing enough energy to do so.

"Yes, a young savior, Harry Potter. And Sirius Black, a traitor to you all, who'd have thought? It seems to me that perhaps your side lost after all, Lupin."

Remus remained quiet, for once he couldn't think of anything to say.

"Of all people to pick," Snape continued, "a Black as a Secret Keeper!"

"What?" said Remus suddenly, and Snape realized he had made a mistake. "How did you know they used a Fidelius Charm?"

"Bad news travels fast," said Snape hastily. He couldn't risk Lupin knowing that he had worked for Dumbledore too. Picking up his cloak, he made to leave quickly, his face set in stone.

"Severus,"

Snape stopped, but didn't turn around. "I'm sorry for your loss, Lupin."

Remus turned around in surprise at these last words, but the church was empty once more. He rose and left, the calm atmosphere had done nothing to relieve his pain. It was raw, but it didn't tear at him. It was more like an old wound that time refused to heal.

He had lost everything he had known, all in one night.

Walking back through Muggle London, he found the crowds were strangely subdued, due to the "gas explosion" that took place barely one day ago. Muggles and disguised wizards were still on the scene, documenting the evidence.

Lily and James. Sirius and Peter. Everything had been fine before that night...he could remember the jokes, the laughter, the life he had loved was gone. Yet he still felt it all.

It was 1979...