Wotcher

AN: I really don't know why i wrote this but ever since i finished reading the books i made my own reason for why Tonks always says Wotcher... well, i hope it's good enought- and don't forget to review!

Wotcher

Whenever 'wotcher' appeared, or was heard or anything… everyone knew it was her. It had to be. It just was. Nymphadora Tonks was always the one to say 'Wotcher' and that was just how it was- ever since a young age and it grew on her. Something she clung onto and made it a part of her personality. Though… as much as she liked to say it- as much as she liked the action of it on her mouth and the tingle of the word on her tongue… she wanted to forget it. She wanted nothing to do with it… but how? How, after many years of using, could she just stop? It grew on her- become a part of her- it was her very own trademark that people can identify it to be hers… but she didn't want it to be.

Seeing the cringe on Sirius' face or the guilt on her mother's face was enough to make a child want to forget. But the word just rolled of her tongue without a second thought and she would have to live with the facial expressions that disturbed her. She didn't blame them though… and she couldn't blame herself for causing that pain on them. That guilt whenever that simple word was uttered… after all, it wasn't her fault, right?

Wotcher Meda

She remembered that night- dark and rainy- when that particular stranger appeared. Pleasantly and without another thought or any suspicion, she let him into the house thinking it was Sirius- they just looked so alike- and not drinking in his thinner, paler and smaller frame… or his larger, greyer and almond eyes… or his blacker, straighter and tousled hair…

But that wasn't Sirius…

"I'm Regulus… Sirius's brother?"

She remembered his voice so clearly even now… unlike Sirius's wild laugh and loud voice… his was softer, more controlled and more calm… always with that amused tone to it.

'Oh! Then how come to don't visits much? Sirius always visits us- you had a fight?'

Never hesitant to pry, in her younger age… though not quite different from now since she was trying to tie herself to Remus' danger and lycanthropy… wanting to know more and more… but she has more guilt than she did when she was younger…

'Sort of.'

She remembered how his pale grey eyes would always look out the kitchen window and glaze over for a few minutes… as though life itself was dragging him to and fro.

'Then why don't you just say sorry- 'cause, when I have a fight with the girl in the park yesterday, I told her I was sorry and we still played today! So tell him sorry and he'll be happy!

She remembered his swift smile- so light and so fazed… as though he was just trying to comfort her- assure her that Sirius was going to be happy at some point. But it was all just a play… she was too naïve and he was hopeless. She then remembered the way her mother had burst in and warily- yet full of surprise- had eyed Regulus. She remembered how his miserable face glossed into a forced smile that didn't reach his eyes…

'Wotcher Meda."

It was a new word to her- unlike what she ever heard on the television, or on these modern movies… it was like his own special word that was used only by him. She remembered how she curiously tried to make out what they were talking about- trying to understand why her mother was screaming at him then why she mother was crying and why he had that deranged look all of a sudden. She tried to understand why her mother looked guilty- why they both apologized for reasons that her five-year-old mind couldn't comprehend.

She remembered trying to understand why her mother kept hugging him like no tomorrow or why she was begging him not to leave. She remembered trying to understand why he made Sirius sound so mean- Sirius would never slam the door in her face!- and why he looked so tired even though she heard her mother tell him to go back to school.

'Wotcher Dora'

He said as he ruffled her hair slightly before leaving out the door… she remembered that tugging feeling of wanting him to come back. He seemed fun- though he never played with her. He seemed nice- though they didn't speak much. She liked him- though she didn't truly know him.

She then recalled the days in which her mother would cry and wouldn't come out of her room. Or when her father would stay quiet and not sprout those cheesy jokes… she heard he was dead. She knew what dead meant- he wasn't coming back no matter what, and her mother would miss him. They were cousins, weren't they? She had to miss him- she hugged him and kissed him when he came over for the first time.

She knew that if she wanted to not miss someone, then you'd have to make it feel like that person is still there- like he hasn't truly left… well, that was all her naïve mind could make out… she didn't understand the true meaning of death- it was just someone that wasn't going to come back… she didn't get the vengeance of it, the anger, the pain, the loss, the justice…

Wotcher Mum!

She didn't know what to expect- she expected happiness, that was for sure… but Andromeda gasped and turned away… back to the sizzling frying pan on the hissing stove. Did she remember? Was she imagining him or something? She knew though, that she wanted to be a part of them. A part of her mother's family- they seemed interesting… different. With her father- they were all weird people who didn't even have wands! Her cousins were mostly nosy or too busy talking on telephones… unlike Sirius who would play pony with her and was, by far, her favourite cousin then… then there was Regulus who attracted her young mind to him…

Her mother was her mother… she was a part of that, and Sirius was Sirius- he was loud and funny… too loud that once she tried to copy him her mother gave her quite the scolding… but Regulus… he was already gone- he wasn't coming back and she did want to be a bit like him… he was her family, right? He was nice and good- he had to be a good guy or else her mother wouldn't have let him stay in the house… plus, he seemed more different- more intriguing … Her mother told her off of course- to never say that word again. But she wouldn't- she couldn't. She liked it- she wanted to say that word for some odd reason- plus her father said that it was a cool word to say and wouldn't mind saying it himself… well, that was before he took the scolding from Mum as well…

But she always took that as an encouragement… it wasn't a bad word- clearly it meant 'hello' or something, so why stop? It seemed like a different word- something people didn't use nowadays- and that filled her up. She wanted that difference. She wanted to be different from the rest of the world- maybe that's why she kept up act of wacky coloured hair… it wasn't for attention- it was for difference…

He was like that- wasn't he? He was different than everyone else, right?

"Wotcher Sirius," she greeted as Sirius entered the room.

She felt him cringe- she knew it by now- yet continued to gaze curiously at the tapestry of the Black Family Tree.

"Hey there Tonks."

She heard his tense steps toward her, gazing beside her at the tapestry with loathing so hard that she never thought possible.

"He was different wasn't he?" she asked, her eyes tracing over the golden thread that linked over to his name. "Who?" his eyebrows knitted with a curious expression, though he fully knew who she was asking about.

"Your brother," she used the word on purpose.

She heard a long intake of breath before he answered. "He was a soft fool who got himself wrap-"

She knew this was coming- she heard it before but it would never hinder her memory of him. "But he was different, right?"

A pregnant pause. "Yeah… he was."

Reassurance filled her heart- and for some reason a deep pride that he was… with tense steps and a slammed door, she was alone once again, staring at the tapestry at the name of a boy she never fully understood- didn't even know… yet somehow always found herself quite attracted to.

AN: Good? Bad? tell me what you think!