Authors Note: Hello, hello! I'm posting the first chapter of this even though the rest of the fic isn't even close to being done, because I guess I'm a masochist and I hate myself (and am kind of hoping reviews inspire me to finish writing!) But I'm excited for this new fic and each chapter stands alone, so it'll be fine. I hope. Well, on that note, enjoy!

Chapter One

1985

She knew she should be grateful for her promotion – that Maxwell giving her more responsibility was a good sign, that soon she'd be made partner and have some creative control over the business – but she knew Maxwell only delegated the position to her because he was too lazy and numbers overwhelmed him. Still, she had to admit that Business Manager sounded a whole lot better than Secretary, even though when she had asked Maxwell what her new position entailed he sort of just stumbled over half-sentences and gestured to the pile of papers on his desk.

"Oh, uh, well, you…you can start with doing the payroll for the staff! Yes! Payroll. Good. Well, I'll be taking off now. Good night, CC," Maxwell was already out the door before she even had time to consider that they were in his home office.

She rolled her eyes, opening the payroll book, nearly cursing when she realized he meant the payroll for his household staff, not even for Sheffield productions.

"What do I care if the maids get paid?" she muttered as she scanned the list of names.

And then, like a beacon of light sent down from God himself, a name caught CC's eye.

Not just any name. It was Niles, her favorite (or least favorite depending on which was more of an insult, CC didn't know, nor did she care) maid of them all. Right there, on the page, his name. First and last name. Middle initial. His most precious, most guarded secret, right there in bold letters in Maxwell's stupid payroll book.

"So that's why he keeps it secret," a slow grin formed on her face and she merrily laughed to herself as she immediately underlined his name in red ink, wanting to always be able to distinguish it from the other servants who ignored her and did not live to make her life a living hell.

Wanting to save Niles for last, CC set to work writing out the rest of the servants' paychecks. Twenty minutes passed, and at last she was down to the final name. She grinned as she switched out the regular ballpoint pen for her much fancier fountain pen and signed the check with a flourish.

Perhaps she was going to like being a business manager after all!

"Ah, yes, CC, did you get a chance to finish those paychecks last night? It's payday," Maxwell asked as he waltzed into the office twenty minutes late and greeted her the following morning.

"Of course I did," She replied with her fakest smile as she handed him the stack of enveloped paychecks. She neglected to mention the contracts she also edited the previous night without him. If he wasn't going to give her a serious job, at least she could fix all the mistakes he made after he left for the day. She made a mental note to check out his taxes when she got a moment.

"CC, I don't know what I would do without you. Keep it up, and I see a bright future for you here at Sheffield productions! Now, is there anything I can do for you?" He asked without really meaning it, having already headed for the door to hand out paychecks and waste some time hanging out with Sara and the babies, of course.

"Actually, now that you mention it…" she trailed off as she watched her boss try to mask the look of dread on his face at the thought of actually having to do something, "it's nothing big. I was just wondering if I could give Niles his paycheck today?"

Maxwell nearly sighed in relief upon realizing she was actually saving him something to do so he could go fawn over his wife.

"Absolutely, CC. You know, it's so nice to see your making an effort to get along with Niles."

He handed her the check and was out the door faster than she could say "As if."

She practically skipped out the door to find her archenemy, realizing she already knew where he was. As much as Maxwell found ways to procrastinate doing any work, no one knew how to waste time like the Butler. Since breakfast was over and the other staff took care of cleanup, Niles usually spent his midmornings doing the daily crossword puzzle and drinking a cup of tea. She kind of hated herself for knowing that.

She found him in the living room, Maxwell having no doubt retreated to the nursery to stare at his wife and children. She rolled her eyes at him – feet resting on the coffee table, glasses perched on nose, eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration. She wondered what Maxwell was paying him for before realizing Maxwell paid himself to walk around the house pretending to be important.

"Five letter word for waste of space," she started as he jumped in surprise at being interrupted, "N-I-L-E-S."

"Oh, it's only you," he retorted, taking off his glasses and removing his feet from the table, standing up to square off with her as usual.

"Don't let me interrupt, Niles. I'm sure you're doing very important work here. That couch isn't gonna get an indent of your ass in it all on its own."

"You know, now that you're here, I think you might have actually helped me out. Seven letter word for boozehound: B-A-B-C-O-C-K."

CC rolled her eyes, "Oh can it, Spic 'n Span. I'm actually here to do something nice."

That piqued his interest.

"Why? You never do anything nice."

"Well with my new promotion," she paused to glare at Niles, who snorted. At least someone else knew her new job was just as much of a load of bull as being Maxwell's secretary was.

"Anyway, Maxwell assigned me the task of doing payroll, so, happy payday, Butler Boy," she smiled as she handed him the paycheck, luring him into a false sense of security.

"Oh, well, that actually is very kind of you. Thank you, Miss Bab-" his voice trailed off as he ripped open the envelope and put two and two together.

"No," he whispered dramatically.

"That's right, Niles, read it and weep!" Oh, how she'd hoped he would weep. She had her camera tucked in her purse in case he did.

"I always knew you were Satan's mistress," Niles sighed in defeat. "Go ahead, have your laugh. My last name-"

"Is humiliating!" CC interrupted. "Boy, if that got out, you'd be up a creek without a paddle, wouldn't you?!"

"And you'd be dangling a lifejacket just out of my reach," Niles deadpanned. "You're going to shout it from the rooftops, aren't you?"

She rolled her eyes, "Niles, don't be ridiculous. This is too big for me to just go ahead and announce to everyone. I've gotta milk this for all its worth. Plus the joy of having something over your head for once in my life? I need a cigarette."

He gawked at her, "So you're not going to tell for now?"

"Niles, with a last name like that, you'd have to do something pretty awful to get me to release it to the world AND NO, that is not a challenge, so don't get any ideas, dust buster."

He held up his hands in surrender, "Wasn't planning on it."

"You know something, Niles?" She asked.

"What?" He replied, still in disbelief that she wasn't going to ruin his life…yet.

"I think I'm going to look forward to these biweekly encounters," she winked at him before striding away triumphantly.

"Who are you?!" He asked in awe, sitting back down on the sofa.

She laughed and was nearly out of the room before she turned back around, "Tosspot."

"Yes, I know you're that but—"

"A seven letter word for boozehound, idiot. Tosspot." She watched as he looked down at the puzzle and fit the letters in perfectly.

"Thanks," He replied begrudgingly.

"I'd like sugar in my coffee this afternoon, not your usual salt," She instructed.

"Fine. Maybe I'll even put it in a clean mug for once," He muttered.

CC smiled as she left the living room and headed back to the office. He'd still probably do half sugar/half salt, but it was progress.