AN: I've been wanting to post this for a long time, but never really felt the urge to finish it. But it's done now! I'm sorry in advance for any mistakes. Also, if it seems repetitive in some parts, I worked on these parts at separate times, so the flow of the story sort of changes halfway through. If I made any mistakes regarding facts from the books, I'm sorry it has been a while since I read them! Oh, and I changed a few of the pronouns in the lyrics to fit the storyline. I appreciate all of your reviews and please enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own 'Breakeven' by The Script or the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan.
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Reyna stared into the flames, watching her third meal rise up in a pink smoke. She had been doing this for a while now, so long that it had just become a mind numbing routine. All of her sacrifices offered to a goddess who had never smiled upon her. Hearing laughter, Reyna turned around, already regretting the reflex. There stood Jason, holding hands with that-that daughter of Aphrodite. A Greek over her. Her heart clenched and suddenly she was gasping for air, trying to hold back the tears. It was a familiar feeling, one that arose every time she saw them. Her other half with that graeces scum. He broke her heart, he broke her soul, yet she still loved him. He left her on top of a desolate mountain, gasping for air, barely alive.
'Cause I got time while he got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even
'It isn't fair,' Reyna thought angrily,' why should he be smiling and having the time of his life while I slowly rot away?' It may have sounded overdramatic, but it was true. No one could see it, the way that she was slowly crumbling away, a shell of her former self. People would occasionally take a moment to ask if she was okay, but it was only because they wanted something of her. A huge piece of her had left when Jason disappeared, yet she still had to have a strong front. So she worked hard, everyday, trying to lose herself in the rhythm. It didn't work, obviously, but at least she could dream. They were all that she had left, dreams, and of course those damned memories.
"Come on Reyna," Jason called," we're almost there!"
"You weren't the one who had to listen to Octavian ramble on," she grumbled, picking up her pace nonetheless. Stopping at the top of the hill, she bent over catching her breath. Straightening, she was treated by a wondrous sight. The moon was rising over the flat plain below, a huge, luminous semicircle. Bathed in moonlight, it was a glorious sight. Suddenly a pair of arms circled around her. Jason laid his head on her shoulder and they stared at the rising moon. And Reyna felt complete.
His best days were some of my worst
Reyna stared at the couple impassively, though she was screaming inside. Jason, the man that she had been waiting, searching for, was back...with a different girl. And he couldn't remember her. Oh he knew her name, but he couldn't remember who she was to him. Just another comrade, maybe a good friend, but nothing more.
...
Reyna screamed in frustration and slammed her palms to her desk. She was in her office, the one place where no one could see her breakdown. It was just so unfair. 'I searched for him, worked my butt off to keep Octavian from gaining too much power, and now he comes back all sunshine and roses. All the while I try my hardest to not crack from the pressure. We used to be so close, but now he looks at her as if she was the sun,' Reyna thought bitterly. 'If I had just told you, acted on my feelings, you could have been mine.' Giggling brought her out of her reverie. Outside Jason was twirling Piper around; Jason gazing adoringly into Piper's eyes. Reyna turned away in pain as she saw him moving in for a kiss. She laughed humourlessly. "Oh Jason, you never were meant to be mine."
He finally met a girl that's gonna put him first
"Jason! I don't have time for this! I have to finish that report before the meeting tomorrow. Speaking of which, I haven't seen you even begin yours yet," Reyna argued. Jason was trying to get her out of the office and take a dip in the lake. As much as she wanted too, there was just too much work to be done.
"But Reyna," Jason pouted," it's a beautiful day outside! We can always just wing it!"
"Wing it?! Are you mad, Grace?! This is important, lives depend on the outcome of this meeting. I don't care what you do, but I'm going to stay here and finish all of the work that you never bother to do!" Reyna spat angrily, stomping away to the office. If she had just turned back for a moment, she would have seen the hurt look on Jason's face. He had planned a picnic to celebrate the anniversary of their Praetorship...and maybe tell her his feelings. He sighed and walked away dejected.
...
They were about to march into battle and Reyna saw Jason and Piper talking, not yet in their armour. Before she could go and scold them, Piper took a poorly wrapped present from behind her back and gave it to Jason with a kiss.
"Happy birthday!" Piper whispered to Jason, biting back a smile. Reyna gasped and backed away quickly. Turning around so that no one could see her face, she silently battled with her emotions. 'How could I have forgotten his birthday?' Reyna judged herself. 'To be fair, there was a lot of work to be done, sweeping up after Octavian,' she argued back. But there was no denying it, she had put her work before her own friend, her best friend. 'Ex-best friend,' she corrected quickly, as if their relationship was one that could be discarded so easily. No one noticed the tear that ran down her cheek.
While I'm wide awake he's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even... even... no
'You're appeal has be-' Reyna's hand slipped and she ended up with a jagged line running across her paper. She sighed in frustration and dropped the pen angrily. She was too tired to think straight, let alone write. Ever since he had come back, she couldn't get a wink of sleep. There it was again, him. Everything revolved around him. Reyna groaned and slumped against her desk, not caring that she probably got ink all over her face. The war had ended and both camps were at peace. Yet it seemed as if she was destined to never feel safe and peaceful again. The threat to her camp may have passed, but her heart still hurt. No one seemed to notice their Praetor, comrade, friend, was breaking before their very eyes. Reyna rarely had time to rest with her busy schedule, and the time she did have was spent in inner turmoil. But he was fine, absolutely, positively perfect. He didn't have an entire camp depending on him, he didn't feel insecure about his leadership, he never felt the pain of his heart shattering into a million pieces. 'It's so unfair,' Reyna thought, stabbing the paper with her pen. 'How come he get's a happily ever after, while all I get is emotional unstableness?' Jason Grace, one of the seven heroes, had broke her heart and abandoned his post. But did he get punished? No, instead he was awarded and praised. She tried not to feel bitter, really she did. But how could she not? She could hardly sleep because she's so full of regret and despair, and he had moved on without her. Jason hadn't just broken her heart, he had taken her will to live and love and smashed it to smithereens.
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
'Jason is on that ship, Jason is on that ship, my Jason is on that ship!' was all that Reyna could think as she watched the demigods slowly descend from their aircraft. She couldn't believe it, after all these months, he was finally coming back! They had so much to catch up on; new laws had been passed and the prophecy was vital to their survival. But that all got pushed to the back of her mind when she saw a flash of blond hair. After so many moths apart, they could finally talk about how they felt, they could finally become partners in every sense of the word. She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she missed Percy's reunion with his 'Annabeth.' Wait, what was that? Who is that girl with Jason, did he get a girlfriend in the six months that he was gone? Quickly, she composed herself, telling herself that she was overreacting, she had a duty for gods' sakes. Straightening her back and schooling her features into a mask of calm, she readied herself to greet these foreigners and her Jason.
"Hello, I'm Jason Grace and I'm glad to be back," Jason approached her and held out his hand, acting as if he didn't recognize her. She let it go, he probably didn't recognize her, after all six months of stress and sleepless nights can change a person's appearance. "You're Reyna right?"
"Yes, and we are pleased to have you back Jason Grace son of Jupiter. We have many things to discuss," Reyna ignored the hurt she felt at his dismissal of her importance.
"Great," Jason replied, "but before that, do you mind if I give a tour to my girlfriend?" Reyna stiffened at the use of the term and saw the brunette she glimpsed earlier, hanging onto Jason like a leech. She could only nod as she heard her heart crack and break into a million pieces. Six months, that's all it took for Jason to forget all about her, and one word to shatter her heart.
They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause he's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even... no
Oh, you got her heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, ooh
'Cause you left me with no love and honour to my name.
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while he got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break...
No, it don't break
No, it don't break even, no
She comforted him when he broke his first bone. She was the shoulder he cried on when he first got his heart broken. She supported him when he slowly rose through the ranks. She was by his side as they were elected for praetorship. She was searching for him when he disappeared for six months. She loved him when he finally came back with a different girl. She was there in the background as her best friend fell in love with a stranger. She was the first one he told when he felt that he found the one. She helped him plan his proposal. She was the planner for his wedding. She was the best 'man' at his wedding. She held his firstborn child the day he was born. She was the slap of reality when his wife passed away and he fell into depression. She was the last face he saw when he finally died at the ripe age of a hundred. She loved him when she was young...and she never stopped.
Oh, it don't break even no...
