I own nothing, said me.
Ron stared at his examination with abject horror. He wasn't ready for this!
He had thought that he was. Hermione had been gently helping him prepare for his muggle studies course, and he was so sure that he had learned everything he needed to know about muggle culture for the test.
After all, how hard could it be to learn a new culture? Hermione did it, (which didn't indicate it would be easy, but he also knew the Creevey brothers were Muggleborn and they figured things out) so he knew it was possible.
The teacher had recommended for the class to read some muggle literature that she had provided, and to watch a few films.
Since he had Hermione's help to prepare him for the test, Ron had thought it a waste of time and drew little doodles in his books while the teacher had dimmed the lights and turned on a "movie", she called it, and slept through it. He was starting to regret it.
But this… Really, what was this stuff? Where was the mention of felly tones, or eckeltricity that made iceboxes work? Light bulbs? This had to be a mistake.
He looked at the questions again. Maybe he had missed a couple easy ones.
1. What is the meaning of life? reference, Monty Python
No clue.
2. Explain the main differences between an opera and a musical?
…What?
3. Give the air speed of an unburdened swallow?
4. Give your favorite color?
...What?
What significance could that possibly have? Ron figured it was probably a trick question, but gamely wrote down purple, just in case the teacher would know he was lying if he had picked a manlier color. Purple was pretty. He liked it. …Would Harry laugh at him?
Ron scribbled out his answer and wrote orange instead.
5. Do muggle drive on the left or right side of the road in Britain?
Hah! A trick question!
Pff, duh! They drive on both sides. Man, that's a dumb question. Write it down…
6. How many strikes are allowed in a baseball game?
Muggles hit each other for fun? Why?
He wrote seventeen.
He blinked at the next question.
"Who the f is Daniel Radcliffe?" He wrote in response. "I wouldn't know or care if he wears boxers or briefs."
When the class ended Ron caught up with Harry and Hermione on the way to dinner.
"You wouldn't believe this test, it was weird. It asked my favorite color, for one."
Harry snorted. "That's a reference to monty python. Any answer would be right, as long as it's the first answer you give."
Shit.
Hermione looked at him from across the table and set down her fork.
"What else was on your test, Ron? Between Harry and I, we can probably tell you what you got right on the test."
Fair idea.
"Er, it also asked the airspeed of an unladen swallow, the meaning of life, where cars drive in England, and about some guy's underthings."
Harry and Hermione looked at each other. She nodded first. Harry turned to him and said, "It depends on if it's an African or Eurpoean swallow, forty two, the left side of the road, and when in doubt, always choose boxers."