AN: Misaki did not cheat in this story...enjoy nd this is my 1st JR story
i do not own junjou romantica.

'What do i do now? What am i going to tell him ? I was out all night and didn't call, He is going to question me as about it. Just as things were going good for us too. He going to hate me. How can i tell him ?! I can't tell him!'

thats what went through misaki's mind as he entered the house he and Usagi lived in.
When he opened the door Usagi-san stood there arms crossed.'He looked as if he lost the nights sleep. Did he wait up for me?...' Misaki though this made him feel ten times worse than he already did.

"Where were you?..Misaki.." Usagi-san asked after they stared at each other for a few minutes. "Ehh...Ano.. Usagi-san..." Misaki couldnt say it. "Where were you." Usagi-san demanded this time. ' why can't I tell him?! I want to just tell him...would he even care?...' those thoughts are what has been going through his mind since he got into the room. "Usagi-san... I can't ..tell you..." "And why would that be? What did you do that you cant tell me ?..."

Misaki choked at that. " If you can't even tell by my appearance ,Usagi-san...then ..I'm sorry." Misaki couldn't take it and started to cry. Usagi didn't hesitate no matter how mad he was at Misaki he still wouldn't let him cry alone. He pulled Misaki to him and hugged him close. Misaki flinched at the contact Usagi thought it was strange but chose to ignore it for the time being. Usagi buried his nose in Misaki's hair and froze he knew Misaki realized this as he did too, because he had a feeling he knew why. "Misaki...why do you smell different..? " Usagi asked cautiously. The dots were starting to click as he didnt want to admit it ...'Misaki cheated...Misaki cheated on me..No...'

"Usagi-san..." Misaki didn't get a chance to finsh as he was slammed against the wall as Usagi pushed him away quickly and started to retreat. "Usagi-san!"

"You know.." He started before he entered his office. " Anyone who has ever used that name has hurt me and broke my heart..." His voice broke at the end because he was starting to cry so he shut the office door fast. Misaki had lost his right to see his tears ..or so he thought.

Misaki sanked down the wall as his knees gave up he hurt all over from fighti ng the night before even though he left he could still feel those hands on him the ones he fought to keep off him they did not belong... he lost not only the fight but Usagi-san...

The Tears started and wouldn't stop. There was no one who want them to stop. No one was comming to stop them...

Misaki picked himself off the ground and dragged his feet up the stairs. If Usagi-san was going to not want him any more he was going to know the truth of last night. Even though Misaki told himself it was futile he still hoped that maybe Usagi-sn would want something as disgusting as him. As dirty as him.

Misaki stood outside of the office door he took a calming breath trying to make it where the tears were not in his voice."Usagi-san.." He heard a gasp and shuffling through out the room so he continued. "Usagi-san.. I'm sorry..so sorry I didn't mean too I-I tried to get away...I love you ... I still do ..always"

'There it was said I can leave now with out regretting as much as I would have before. He probably thinks I cheated on him *sigh* im still crying though swo before I leave I need to stop crying or I will draw to much attention to myself. That I don't want " I guess I will leave you alone now ...Goodbye ..Usagi-san"

As I turned to leave I heard the office door open and before i could turn around to look he had already grabbed my arm and tugged me in the room slammed the door shut and pushed me against was right in front of me his head was down though so I couldn't even see his eyes.
"Why... would you do that...How could deo that then say something like that...?"

"Usagi-san I didn't ch-" misaki couldnt finsh that sentence as Usagi pushed there lips together forcefully.

This scared Misaki because of the night before but he knew this was Usagi-san the one that was allowed to do this but it didn't help as the thoughts of last night freshly in his mind came back scaring him. but Usagi-san needed reassurance so he decided that he would hold out as long as he could with out breaking but it didnt look as if it would last long at this rate. But still kissed Usagi -san back full force with all his emotions hoping for them to reach his one and only lover Usami Akihiko .

Usagi-san had already started roaming his hands all over me. When we finally broke for air Usagi was waiting for a protest put in stead Misaki barely whispered "Can we at least go to the bedroom... it will be easier on my back...i mean if you dont want to the-" Usagi picked up Isaki and headed to the bed room Misaki was relieved that maybe this will help and he didnt had as bad flash backs because he was taken in the office last time... Misaki shurrdered involnitarily at the thought of last night and dug his head into Usagi's shoulder. "You know the whole time you were gone i was worried only being able to think of you..."Usagi said lowly.

"Me too... only you..can ever have my permission to do this only you are allowed. only you can I willingly submit to ..." Misaki rambled as he was laid on the bed of there room - or was it Usagi's room now was he allowed to call it his anymore? "Misaki the way you say that makes it sound like you were ra-" Misaki shoved there lips together . He couldn't bare to hear that word right now, and hearing it from usagi would be even worse then hearing it from anyone else. His Usagi-san shouldn't say should a horrible and dirty word as that.

As hands started to go down his body and take off his his shirt. he felt Usagi start to kiss him in every place he could reach the creamy skin . as he traveled down the more panic MIsaki got.

' It's Usagi-san everything will be okay. It's Usagi It's Usagi It's Usagi' he chanted every kiss and touch he felt. he was trying so hard to remember who was touching him he wasn't re-acting to the touches in moans like he should but in tears and cold shivers as soon as Usagi had his pants down and touched Misaki's memeber inside; Misaki broke finally "No! Sumi-Sempai STOP!"Misaki said as he turned to his left side and curled in a he realizes he just said that to Usagi-san ' guess I cant play the i cheat card anymore..not that i want to to began with ...but im still not ready to tell Usagi-san yet...'

"Misaki?" Usagi-san was worried what that out- burst meant then wanted to know why Misaki was acting so scared. 'Don't tell me he was really...' "Misaki." Usagi said more confident then last time. "Y-yes .." was Misaki shakey reply. "were you ..um..you kno...with out perrmission?.."'atleat i dont have to fully thing he is so smart.' Misaki looked relieved as he sighed and shook his head yes. 'Okay now some one is dead,but ho he said Sumi-Sempai damn bastard i thought he was after me but turns out he was after my Misaki in the end as well..' Usagi-san fell down on his rigt side and landed in front of misaki who was still curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed. i wrap my arms around him carefully if he was raped then he might be really sore and to think i was about to take instantly put his arms in between us as he snuggled closer. "Has this happened before?" I couldnt stop my self from shook he head 'no' and got closer."will you tell me about it?" Usagi wao waited for a response."not now...i'm not ready too...jusr...i just want some comfort right now...so can you ...you ...please.."

"Yeah what ever you want ...Misaki.."He whispered my name into Misaki's ear. as his ar, wrap more secure and tighter around his slim form as it slow went to sleep after a hour of tryin to calm down enough to relax and know its a safe environment " I might have to sleep in the same bed with you for awhile..if you dont mind.. and stay close to you." Misaki said shyly. "I don't mind at all Misaki anything for you .." 'Then ..when I heal up ...will you ...umm...take me back?..."

"I already have Misaki" Usagi-san chuckled at how childish he was being but couldn't help it .
"No, i mean... take me back as in ... claim whats..yours..." Misaki started to lose his voice to embarassment for asking such a thing. "And how do you expect me to do that? "He asked to see the reply he would get because Misaki wasn't being himself so who knows what could happen. " I want...I want you to sleep with me ...I dont want any trace of him on me by the time your done." Usagi wasn't expecting a answer for him let alone so blunt about it. But Misaki had a point at the moment he wasn't Usagi's ."Alright but not before your healed ...and that includes mentally.." he through in for the safety of Misaki's mind. "I don''t know how long that will take though.." "Its fine.. I can wait" "but I can't.." Misaki grumbledas he leaned into Usagi more " i want you to be the last touches on me Usagi and I want them as soon as I cant. I dont like the memory of him and there my body's last-" Usagi was shocked at how something like this made misaki really blunt about his feelings he stopped him before he could say anymore of his inner thoughts he would soon regret. with a kiss when he pulled away he said. "Dont worry we'll take it one step at a time..."

okay so that's chapter one should i continue?sorry for grammer problems etc.