Okay, so I don't really know what this is. I was brainstorming ideas to continue my story 'Love and War', and this just fucking kicked its way out of my head.

But ohmygosh. I got a kitten today, and and and !! I named her Shiro. Ain't dat cuuuutttteeee? PM me if you want a picture :

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach™, alas, my brain enjoys exploiting it's characters…

Rated: M? just to be safe. xP

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Yuki-chan was going to get herself in a heap of trouble one of these days. She may be an authoress, but even she should know her boundaries. Apparently not, as she's already gone and broken in. She and Shiro would get along quite nicely.

Yuki crept up the stairs, a few at a time, making sure not to make too much noise. She crept along the hallway until she got to Ichigo's door. 'This is it!' she thought, a smirk playing on the edge of her lips. She slowly pushed the door open.

It was dark and silent in the room, save the sound of a fast asleep teen. Yuki crept over to the bed, crouching like the rabid fangirl that she was. Ichigo was laying on the bed, fast asleep, his breath stirring the orange locks around his face. Yuki giggled madly, and reached up to touch the lovely boy's fluorescent hair.

"Whaddaya think yer doin'?" drawled a voice. Yuki froze. 'Could it be?' she wondered. With a 'plop!', she turned on her heels and sat cross-legged on the floor.

"Long time, no see, Shiro-kun." She grinned.

"You betcha. Yeh haven' written any fics about me 'n' poor Ichi-kun over there." Shiro drawled from his seat on the desk.

"I came here in search of Plot Bunnies!" Yuki triumphantly stated, raising a fist into the air.

"I can give you some 'Plot Bunnies'" Shiro growled suggestively. He padded over to Ichi's bed. "Isn't that right, Ichi-kun?" Shiro asked, stroking Ichigo's face with his long black fingernails.

"Nngh…" Ichigo moaned in his sleep.

"So, it's 'Plot Bunnies' you need. Well, there's already Elastics, Cupcakes, Lollipops, Chocolate Syrup, Showers, Wedding Receptions, Work Meetings, Ichigo NEVER finishing his homework, and classroom sex. Whaddaya want, and Alternate Universe?" Shiro growled. Yuki paused, thinking. Suddenly she sprang to her feet.

"YES!! That's it!" she squealed in delight. Shiro just raised an eyebrow at her.

"There will be an AU! No Shinigamis, Hollows, or such. Just a badass Hichigo," Shiro smirked "and a very gay, uke, Ichigo! It's going to be fabulous!"

Yuki danced wildly around the room, making enough noise to wake Ichigo up. Not waiting another second, Shiro jumped across the room, pinned Ichigo down, and ravished him. Shiro looked at Yuki, who now had a nosebleed, and grinned.

"Go now, before Ichigo finds out what yer up ta, and doesn' let ya write it! And ya betta make me a badass!!"

"Will do!" chirped Yuki, as she flew from the room, the sounds of Ichigo being ravished fading behind her…

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Ah Ichigo, you poor boy.

A/N: Bwahahahaha I love how Ichigo's always bottom and gayer than Shiro. It just amazes me. xD