"It's just not the same around here without Sara" Nick said
It had been a tough shift, bringing down a gang leader. Everyone was getting over the flu and Grissom had been its last target with him being called in out of his sickbed. "I blame Grissom for her leaving" Greg said "I'm pissed off that he didn't see here crumbling, even I saw her crumbling and I'm not even her boyfriend"
"Greg don't you think you're a little over the line here, you don't know what was happening to her that made her feel like she had to leave" Catherine retorted
"you know what guys, who of us can actually say we tried to help pull her back up, we can all say we saw her crumbling before our eyes but did any of us do anything to help her, I think if Griss hadn't been around she would have left a long time ago" Warrick said taking a seat at the break room table.
"no, Grissom was supposed to be her significant other, her other half her whatever and even he didn't do anything to try and stop her from leaving, he didn't even go after her, what's that say about Grissom, he just left her to do what she had to do and none of us have had any contact with her in months, how do we know she's ok, none of us have been able to get in contact with her, and we don't even know if Grissom's been in touch with her since she left, because he's been locked in his office and pulling doubles and not even letting us ask if she's ok, he hasn't said a word about her since she left" Greg huffed out angrily
Meanwhile out in the hallway outside the break room Grissom stood motionless with Brass, who was looking at Grissom to try and judge weather he was going to have to hold down Grissom from attacking Greg.
"OK, my office five minutes, no ifs ands or buts, we have some things to discuss and its not going to be in done in the break room for all to see" Grissom exclaimed
Grissom walked into his office with Brass hot on his heels. "What are you going to do Gil? We both know you have been in contact with Sara, I know she calls you almost everyday and she has called me about once a week, but that's only because I know her history, and I know what she's trying to do, burying her ghosts so she can sleep again at night and come back home happy and healthy and able to function like a normal human being again, hey her words not mine" Grissom sighed as he took a seat at his desk and pulled out a thick folder that said confidential on the front "about a week ago when I talked to Sara on the phone she was asking about the team and how everybody was and I told her about Greg's attitude toward me and how it was actually starting to bother me somewhat, and she told me that when she came back that she was going to tell the team about her mother and father the abuse and her time in foster care, she was going to try and explain to them why she needed to go away to bury her ghosts and why she had to do it alone, but she told me to show the team this folder of her records and explain why she had to go if Greg or anyone else's attitude toward me started to get out of hand, I think I'm at the point where they have to know what's going on with Sara because I'm literally sick right now and I don't need Greg's attitude anymore, I'm at my breaking point with him" Gil said as he waited for his team to come through the door. "ok buddy, you know what's best for Sara and yourself just don't lose your cool ok, it won't do you or Sara any good" said Brass, Gil just nodded as the team walked in the door "Take a seat" Brass stood by the door along with Warrick while Greg, Nick and Catherine pulled up seats across from Grissom's desk. "ok, I know you all miss Sara, and I know at least one of you has a couple things on there mind that you want to say to me but are either to scared about consequences or they just want to keep it to themselves, so right now I'm giving you all the opportunity to say whatever you want to me with no threat of suspension or decomp duty for the next 5 years, but just remember that after your done with what you need to say you're going to have to listen to what I have to say ok, no interrupting each other, I'll listen to what you have to say but you have to do the same. "ok" said the team. "So who's going first?"
"I'll go, I want some answers and if this is how I have to get them I'll speak up now, because Sara is one of my best friends and I haven't talked to her in months and I want to know why she just took off and didn't even say goodbye" Greg said angrily "first off I don't know what you heard outside the break room, but I said I blame you for Sara leaving, didn't you see her crumbling before your eyes, did you not realize that she was tired and she had bags under eyes, cases were starting to get to her more and more and you did nothing to help her, you just stood by and watched as she dissipated. She should have stayed on grave instead of switching to swing; it should have been you going to swing. If Sara had stayed on Grave we would have been able to keep an eye her and make sure she was alright. I'm pissed off that you haven't said a word about her to any of us in months, like your trying to move on. She waited a long time for you to get your head out of you ass and you can't even go after her and bring her back and let us try and help her with her problems, she could have come to anyone of us for help but she just bottled everything else up and left so that you wouldn't see her as weak, that's why I have been giving you attitude Grissom, you're being as ass, a robot with no feelings, you let her go and now she's gone and who knows if she'll be back" Greg said if a final huff
"Boy doesn't know the whole he just dug himself" Brass whispered to Warrick, Warrick just nodded
"Are you done Greg" he nodded "anyone else have anything to add" "I think were good" said Nick nervously, not believing Greg just said that to Grissom
"Ok, I'm going to say thins once and none of it leaves this room, understood, ok. First off on of the main reasons Sara and I never came out about our relationship was because of what was going on in the break room, gossiping, it's no one's business but ours what goes on in our personal lives, and after our relationship was out it actually hurt to hear the jokes and comments that went on behind our back, and I know none of you guys were behind those but they still hurt and did cause a few arguments between us, but we got over it and dealt with it, but the gossip that went on between you guys, like what I just overheard in the break room hurts, not only me but Sara too. Second of all, I was originally going to move to swing, I was ready to let Catherine take over as supervisor of Grave and I was going to move, I wanted Sara to stay on Grave, I wanted her to be with her friends, her family, but she didn't want that, she put in the paperwork behind my back to move to swing, she didn't want you guys to lose me as a supervisor, said it wouldn't be fair to you guys, she also wanted to try out a new shift for personal reasons, which I am not going to tell you because that is a whole other conversation that me and Sara have yet to have. Next on your list Greg, I did see Sara crumbling, so did Brass and believe me we both tried to help her, I even told her to take some time off. I could see her burning out, why do you think I left for a month last year, I was going down the same road she was on and needed to get away, but you don't realize how stubborn Sara is when she puts her mind to something. She was determined to stay and try and deal with her ghosts and work at the same time. I tried to get her to talk to me but she started to shut me out and I couldn't figure out why, and then she left. She phoned me a day after she left and apologized for leaving the way she did, but she realized I was right and she had to clear her head for a while so she can come back home happy, without the weight of the world on her shoulders. She has her reasons for not calling you guys, and when she comes back she will tell you why, and yes Greg she's coming back. I talk to Sara everyday when I get home from work. She does ask about you guys and how you all are doing, even when she's off dealing with her own problems, she's still worried about you. Catherine you asked me a while ago why don't I go after her and I told you she didn't want that, she meant that, I told her I would come out to Frisco the moment she called me, and she told me to stay put, that this was something she had to do on her own and when she was ready she would come back home, so I stayed here in Vegas."
"What's she doing in San Francisco Grissom" Nick said timidly
"That's what I want to get to next, Sara was going to tell you this when she came back but she told me that if things got more tense around here between us or if I felt I had to tell you guys I could, so here it goes" This is Sara's file right here, These first twenty pages or so are all past police reports about noise complaints, fighting etc, that was were called in about Sara's parents, this next stack of papers is hospital records of every injury that she got from her father from the time she was 4 to the age of 9, she spent more time in the hospital then probably all of you combined. These next stacks of papers are court transcripts and police reports from the night her mother killed her father for trying to molest Sara when she was 9. This last stack of papers is the 17 different foster homes and halfway houses she stayed in from the time she was 9 to 16. When Sara was 16 believe it our not she was excepted into Harvard, she was to smart for her own good, and she was determined to get out of the system and make a living for herself, so when she got accepted she left and not long after she got herself emancipated. She's been on her own since she was 16. But the thing is Sara never dealt with what happened to her as a child, physical scars will fade over time but emotional ones are a lot harder to deal with. After everything that happened to her in the dessert she realized that she never came to terms with them and in order for her to be happy she had to deal with her past. Right now she's in San Fran visiting her mother who she hasn't seen since she was 14 years old. She finally putting her demons to rest and getting to know a mother she never really got to know. I'm going to leave this for you to read, just put it back in my drawer when your done. So now that I have said what I need to, I'm going home, because I feel like crap, and I feel a migraine coming on and I'd like to be home before it happens, so if you can move from the door guys I'm leaving. I hope I have answered any of your questions that you have. And once your finished reading I hope you realize how hard it was for Sara to stay and to leave. Have a goodnight guys.
And with that Grissom walked out of his office, leaving four stunned coworkers and a angry looking Brass in hid wake.
"I had no idea" "I never thought" "Oh lord" "I feel like shit now"
Was said throughout the eerily quiet office, "I hope you guys all feel better now, especially you Greg, you finally got to say your peace and it came back to bite you in the ass didn't it, always thinking it was Gil's fault for Sara leaving, not realizing it could have been something totally different. I hope you got all your questions answered, because that took a lot for Gil to say what he just did. I don't think I have ever seen him that mad in a long time; I'm not sure what hurt him more the gossip or Greg's attitude. You may all think he's emotionless but he's not, Gil has a big heart, and eyes only for Sara, so when she comes back, which I know she is, your going to owe her an apology as well. As of now though, I'm putting in a week of leave for Gil because he's really sick. He's tired and drained and missing Sara and the flu is just making it worse. So if you will excuse me I will see you all later.
"well I feel like I just got smacked in the face anyone else" said Nick "I mean I know we all have ghosts in our past, but I never thought" "I know what you mean Nick, everyone knows my past, I was a stripper but I couldn't avoid that coming out when I started working here, but if I could have avoided that piece of my past along with my cheating ex coming out I would have. But Sara did, she kept her past private and only told Gil and apparently Brass, she's strong, look at what she has gone through in her life, no wonder she had to get away for a while, I would have probably been an emotional disaster a long time ago" "I think we all need to look at what we say around here, I don't think any of us realized how our talking, even if it was just about missing Sara, hurt Grissom, I mean they have known each other for how long, and managed to keep there relationship hidden for over two years, before it came out. And it didn't even come out on there terms, it came out because some serial killer decided to go after Sara, I don't blame Sara for taking off, I think she needed it, hell I needed it after my divorce and I only got it after Grissom suspended my ass. I think we all owe Grissom an apology. You Ok Greg"
"I'm not sure how to feel right now, I know I owe Griss and Sara an apology for my being an ass, but I also feel hurt and sympathy towards Sara, I cant begin to feel the hurt she must have felt but I know I hurt for her, I mean look at what she had to live through, beatings, hospital visits, foster homes, no one should live like that."
"Ok, how about this, why don't we go visit Grissom in a couple of days, and apologize and make sure he's feeling better, sound good" A round of yeah's broke thought the quiet office as everyone stood to leave and head home for a day, all thinking about how much of an apology they owe Grissom.