Three Sheets to the Wind Ch. 1

Author's Note: So, the other night I finished beating The Legend of Zelda: Windwaker and as the credits stopped rolling in the end, I managed to find myself incredibly inspired to start up a story I'd been considering doing about one of my personal favorites of the Bilgewater crew: Miss Fortune. Now I imagine you have a lot of questions regarding to her 'state' due to what happened to her in A Boy and His Fox, my response to which is you'll just have to wait and see. Of course this story is Rated M, as you no doubt have already notice by finding this chapter, and you can also expect there to be more chapters in the near future. So to all of you readers who are possessed by the wander lust and aren't content without being out beneath the open skies or near the beautiful blue ocean, this one's for you. Get ready for an adventure upon the high seas, it's time to set sail. -Kiba Elunal

As always, I greatly appreciate any donations you guys are able to afford. I'm still searching for a job with little luck, but every dollar you guys give me helps me in a big way. If you would like to donate, use the button on my Tumblr: kibavulpuselunal. tumblr. com. Obviously I can't put in the full link so you'll have to use that. I also post something of a series on writing tips on my Tumblr, should you guys be interested in that. As always, I'd love it if you reviewed, favorited, and shared this story. Thank you all so very much.

The deep sparkling blue oceans of Runeterra rolled out from beneath me in every direction. The sun's rays sparkled off its surface as though its waves were made of polished glass that the ship now rode upon. Tucking my hat down further over my eyes I grinned, drawing my sabre and pointing it off the bow of the ship. "Full speed ahead mateys!" I crowed at the top of my lungs, taking a deep whiff of the salty air that blew through my long hair. There I was, King of the Pirates! The whole ocean was mine to take from, and none would dare be foolish enough to cross me. Best of all, I could do what I wanted, whenever I wanted and I wouldn't have to take lip from anyone!

"Flynn!" A harsh old voice snapped causing me to immediately turn back around, nearly losing my footing and taking a fall into the drink. I looked up into the mean wrinkled face of my uncle, Alexander Lockheart, who insisted I called him 'Captain' or 'Boss.' Like that would ever happen. Angrily picking me up by the scruff of my shirt he put me on my feet after shaking me around like a rag doll. "What have I told you about all this daydreaming nonsense?!" He demanded. Just as I opened my mouth to reply he shoved a mop into my hands hard. "Shut up!" He boomed. "Get back to moppin' the deck or else I'll have half a mind to lock you in the brig." As he stormed off back towards his quarters I sighed to myself.

Okay, so I'm not the King of Pirates. Or, even really a pirate…yet. But someday I will be. It was in my blood. My father, the notorious 'Black Heart' was successful…up until he got busted for smuggling some low quality goods to one of the poorer outset islands. His name was more of an ironic one, my father was very much a benevolent pirate. Stole from the government, gave it to the people who needed it most. I know it's cliché. The son of a folk hero wanting to become a hero, but give me a break, it's ever boy's dream to live up to his father. I was three years old when Demacia executed him…such was the price for pirates caught in that region of the world. Then…my uncle took me in. If you could call him that. The truth was, my uncle treated me worse than most of the other cabin boys on his tiny fishing junker. Pays me about half as much too. 'Can't put a price on family', he always says. I think he takes that saying way out of context. But I'm grateful, without my uncle I'd never get the chance to be on the sea where I belong.

Dipping the mop in the brackish cleaning water I began to scrub the polished wood of the foredeck as my uncle instructed me. With every swipe of the mop I could barely distinguish the amount of dried blood and guts from fish were removed. I didn't really understand why I had to clean this anyway, it'd get dirty again with the new haul back to the point where it was so there wasn't much point to cleaning it. But, I'm not dumb enough to tell him that. I continued to mop before pausing to look longingly out at the ocean's waves again. I wondered what lay on the other side of Runeterra. Everyone who'd ever gone hadn't come back. Did that mean that whatever was over there killed them…or what if they found something so wonderful and amazing they never came back? Either way, the place was mysterious and unknown, and it caused a tugging in my heart that I couldn't begin to explain to anyone else.

As I continued to watch, I noticed a dark shape starting to form upon the horizon. Another ship? Looking closer, I pulled out the telescope I kept hidden in my pocket from my uncle and placed it to my eye, seeking some kind of flags. I didn't truly expect trouble from pirates or anything, to be honest identifying flags is really more of a hobby of mine. Well ships in general really. After the twenty years I've spent from the day my uncle took me in to now I've come to know every part of the ship, how to fix it, and most importantly, how to take it apart. When I get upset with my uncle, I wait for him to fall asleep before I stop up his scupper hole and laugh as his private bathroom ends up flooding. Of course then he makes me clean it, but the sounds he makes as he wades through his personal fluids…well worth it.

The flag was black…which the uneducated would assume meant a pirate. Truth be told, pirate's aren't stupid enough to wave the jolly roger around all willy-nilly. To do so was practically a death sentence, and the instant a ship saw that it'd turn tail and run anyway. No, whoever was holding this flag was confident they could catch us…more than confident, they weren't even worried about someone seeing them. Definitely not a pirate. Looking closer as the fabric unfurled from the mast I swallowed nervously. It was a Jolly Roger. But something was odd about it. Instead of normal eyes, these ones were in the shape of little cartoon hearts. I didn't know what that could possibly mean, but that was unimportant. This ship was waving the Jolly Roger and they were moving at a quick pace to intercept us. Immediately the mop clattered out of my hand on to the deck as I rushed to find my uncle in the brig where he was most likely checking on the haul.

"Uncle!" I called out into the darkness as I quickly descended the steps causing the old man to stand up and turn back to me, blocking what he was tinkering with quickly.

"Lad! I'll not tell ye again! You are to call me Captain! And you should be up on deck, mopping up the chum!" He began to storm towards me as I tried to quickly explain myself.

"No, Uncle, you don't understand. There's a ship, it's coming right towards us I think…" SLAP! A loud sound echoed through my right ear as my Uncle boxed it, sending it ringing as I tried to keep balanced.

"I don't pay you to think boy!"

"But Uncle…" SLAP! Another deafening strike.

"No buts lad…I don't want to hear another peep out of you unless…"

"They're pirates!" I shouted with a hiss, tenderly nursing my ear. My Uncle froze, his hand raised as though to hit me again. Lowering it he pulled me closer with a growl.

"How do you know?" He asked.

"The…the flag…" I stuttered.

"A Jolly Roger?" He asked. I nodded. "Anything odd about it?" I looked at him confused. How had he known? I tried to search his eyes for the answer before I nodded again.

"Hearts for eyes." I explained causing his eyes to grow wide as he dropped me.

"Sweet Gods…she's found me." He hissed, turning back to the haul, only now did I see what it was. Large plastic bags filled with a bright white powder. "Damn it, damn it, damn it!" He cursed holding his head in his hands.

"Drugs…you're trafficking drugs uncle?!" I demanded causing him to wheel on me and slap me across the face.

"You'd best lose your tone boy, or else I'll gladly throw you overboard to get rid of the extra weight. Now here's what you're going to do. Get on the horn and tell the crew to prepare for battle stations. Then you're going to grab a gun and start launching broadsides at my say so. Understand me?!" I looked at him shocked, but silently nodded. "Good! Now get to it! I'll find a place to hide the stash before that she-demon gets her hands on it."

Quickly I went to follow my uncle's orders. Grabbing the microphone I raised the alarm. "All hands to battle stations! This is not a drill! All hands to battlestations, I repeat, this is NOT a drill!" Immediately the sounds of hurried footsteps echoed across the deck of the ship as I slipped down into the powder room, opening up the cannon's hatches. Already the ship was coming up alongside us, and it seemed as if they had a lot more cannons than us. We couldn't risk a broadside, the damage would be catastrophic. "C'mon uncle…" I muttered, "Turn the ship port. Give me a shot at their rudder." Instead my uncle's words came over the radio.

"Fire the broadside!" Immediately ten guns rammed hard against the hull before bouncing back as the crew ran the cannons out and fired. The sickening crunch of wood indicated a successful broad side, but the crew didn't have time to celebrate as they began to load and I saw the SIXTEEN cannons the enemy had getting ready to fire. Immediately I rushed up below deck, ignoring the surprised call of the crew members. Seeing me, my uncle began to curse me, but without a moment's hesitation I grabbed hold of one of the swivel guns and turned it to face the enemy ship's rudder. Timing it correctly I beamed, and with a successful shot it became lodged in place, making the enemy's broadside turn just as they began to fire. Managing only to rake the front portion of our hull, we were able to avoid losing half of our crew. "You idiot!" My uncle shouted at the top of his lungs. "Now we can't rake their broadside again!" With a quick jerk of the wheel, he turned alongside of them, making us vulnerable once more, but before I could argue with him, a collective battle cry signaled that the enemy vessel was now boarding.

I desperately looked around for a weapon. Finding nothing but a gaff hook and a belaying pin, I grabbed both and began fighting my way through the fray, trying to escape from the crowd as crewmates began to flood the deck in an attempt to fight off the would-be assailants. Just as a cutlass took a swipe at me, I managed to side step before striking the back of the blade with the pin, causing it to slice into another attacker. As the man moved with his sword, the gaff managed to catch into his shoulder and tear a rough piece of flesh from it. I delivered a kick to his back, before turning to see another assailant raise his shooting iron. Thinking quickly I jammed the gaff into the barrel, causing his eyes to go wide as the gun exploded, sending shrapnel into his hands and making him roar in pain as I slipped out of the fray. As both crews began to lose more and more people, something welled up inside of me, allowing me to move faster and stay on my feet until at last a large group flooded the deck, tackling me to the ground and restraining me.

And as soon as it had begun, the fight was over. My uncle, the remaining members of the crew, and myself were all bound up and clapped in irons as a man walked across the gangplank to stand before us. He was a strange man. Incredibly large and covered head to toe in intricate tattoos, even on top of his nearly completely shaved head. He spoke in a deep voice that brought to mind exotic jungles from Kalamundu as he paced in front of us. "Which of you is the captain of this vessel?" He asked, though the crew stayed silent. My eyes shifted to my uncle who sat staring at the ground. Had he no honor? He wasn't even going to admit responsibility of the ship? "I will not ask again." The man roared drawing a pistol and pointing it to one of the other cabin boy's foreheads. "Your captain! Who is he?!"

"Th-there!" He said fingering my uncle as the man they wanted. The dark-skinned man frowned and looked towards my cowardly uncle. If he was as watchful as I was, he'd be able to see him shaking where he knelt. Pulling back the hammer he fired the pistol, dropping the cabin boy with a grunt.

"I hate snitches." He explained to no one in particular, just as two of the fighters grabbed his corpse and threw it overboard. "And you…old man…were you just going to sit there and let us interrogate every single member of your crew…or what's left of them anyway? " He asked my uncle standing in front of him.

"If it's the drugs you want…please, just take them. I swear, they're yours. Just don't kill me." Shameful. My uncle was pleading for his life like a child. I never had respect for my uncle…but this was far, far worse.

"It's not your drugs we want." The dark man said. "Truthfully, I couldn't give a damn. But our Captain on the other hand…well, she wants you. And the captain gets what she wants. Now you're worth the same alive or dead. So the question is…are we doing this the hard way or the easy way?"

My uncle frowned. "The…easy way..." he whimpered at last. The dark man smirked.

"Good to hear it." He replied just before he cocked back the hammer and pulled the trigger once more, sending a hot piece of lead into my uncle's head. "Kill the rest of them. Dumb their corpses." He ordered the rest. I could hear chuckles from the crew before I called out.

"Wait!" Causing the dark-skinned man to stop and turn back to look at me.

"Excuse me?"

"Wait. Your ship…it's damaged right? I managed to knock out the rudder before you boarded."

The man walked over to me, crouching down in front of me and staring straight into my eyes. "That was you?" He asked.

I nodded causing him to laugh uproariously. "Boy, I don't know whether you're really smart or really stupid. You think that by confessing to being the one who totaled our ship and cost us a lot of wasted time that that'd save you? Heh. You've got balls."

Shaking my head I responded. "Not confessing to breaking it…but I can fix it. And I can do it cheap and quickly." The man scratched the side of his face where he had a slight beard as he began to ponder it.

"Sorry kid…but I think we'll pass." He chuckled, standing back up. But just as they were about to kill us I heard a woman's voice call out from the ship.

"I'll take it from here Cayman." She purred as her heels clicked along the gangplank. Turning my head, my eyes fell upon the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes upon. As she walked her hips swayed, causing my eyes to move back and forth as though in a trance. With every footstep, trails of hearts followed after her, as though they were a flood of broken hearts in her wake. Immediately the entire crew stiffened to attention and saluted. "At ease boys." She laughed, causing them all to lower their hands, though they were still stiff in a glimpse of nervousness. "Now then Cayman, what seems to be the trouble?" She asked.

The dark-skinned man, who I assume to be Cayman cleared his throat before explaining. "Well Captain, we've captured the bounty dead as promised. He won't be bringing any trouble with him. This…kid….however, claims he is responsible for the damage to our ship." The woman frowned at me as she walked forward before crouching down in front of me, giving me a good look down her shirt. I turned my head away, trying not to blush but she reached forward and grabbed my chin, staring into my eyes.

"Hmmm…this one has a certain…spark…in his eyes." She muttered. "You say you're the one who knocked out our rudder? That was a smart plan…you must be the first mate of this ship hmm?" I immediately shook my head.

"N-no ma'am. I'm just a cabin boy."

"Cabin boy?" She cooed before she laughed playfully as though she'd just asked a child to hold up how many fingers they were in age. "Is it typical practice for your captain to allow a cabin boy to take strategic control doing a battle?" She asked.

I looked towards the corpse of my Uncle nervously before shaking my head no again. "No…my uncle never really trusted me with anything."

"Uncle huh?" She asked rhetorically before crossing her arms over her chest. "So then am I to assume that you hate me for dispatching your dear uncle?" She questioned.

I thought about what she said for a moment. As her finger brushed my cheek I winced from the bruise that had developed when my uncle had hit me earlier. It was not an uncommon occurrence to receive a beating from him. "To be honest…" I muttered, "I'm glad that old bastard is dead. He had it coming." Her hands fell from my chin as she giggled.

"You are just too adorable for words." She replied before standing to walk towards Cayman. "Tell me Cayman…who is responsible for the harm to that man?"

"Ma'am?" He asked. In a blur she had pulled out one of her widerim pistols and stuck it beneath Cayman's chin.

"I'm not a parrot Cayman, I won't repeat myself." She sighed as she pulled back the hammer that lay on her gun with a very loud click. Even from where I was kneeling, one could hear the sound of the bullet being loaded into the chamber, and it was then I knew that she would kill this man if he didn't answer her.

"N-no ma'am!" He said quickly. "I didn't lay a finger on him, I swear! Maybe he got it in the scuffle!" Grabbing his collar she jerked him forward hard so that the hot barrel was pressed against his throat causing him to struggle to breathe.

"Are you lying to me?"

"It's as he says!" I quickly chimed in. "It wasn't him. I swear." I continued as she turned to look back at me raising a well groomed eyebrow in curiosity. "I didn't get it in the scuffle either…my uncle is the one who hit me."

She looked at me for a long hard time before turning back to Cayman, her light pink lips curling into a soft smile as she slowly lowered the hammer. The thickness of the stress that hung in the air barely faded as she began to giggle, before it burst into laughter. Placing a hand on her forehead she continued laughing until she walked over to me and offered her hand. "Get up." She laughed, causing me to shakily take her hand as the others released me, allowing me to stand. "What's your name kid?" She asked causing me to cringe. I hated being called kid, and judging by the glow in her eyes it was something she immediately picked up on.

"Flynn…" I stated.

"Flynn…?" She asked. "No last name?"

Looking back at Cayman who frowned and nervous of what came next I looked her dead in the eye and replied. "Lockheart. My full name is Flynn Lockheart." She clapped her hands excitedly.

"What a lovely name…I caught a pirate by the name of Lockheart once…" she chimed before frowning and looking at the bloody corpse of my uncle. "Well…two…" She smiled at me. "So Lockheart is not a lucky name it would seem. We'll have to give you a new one."

"New one?" I asked dubiously before she gave me a large bright smile.

"Well…when you put your names together…it almost sounds like…Flintlock. You know what? That's perfect! From now one you'll be Flintlock Heart." She beamed as though she'd just come up with the most clever answer to a riddle.

But I honestly couldn't care about that right now. "So…you'll be keeping me alive then?" I asked cautiously, ready to try to jump out of the way if she was just screwing with me and planned on teasing me before I died.

"Awww, how cute…the kid's worried I'm going to kill him." She called out to the crew much to my embarrassment. The crew mates, including Cayman gave an obligatory chuckle to mock me, but she none the less turned back around and smiled. "Don't be silly boy…you're coming with us."

"And if I refuse to be a pirate?" I asked causing the entirety of her crew to erupt into laughter, including her. But soon after she stopped laughing, and immediately the others fell quiet, a few of the more embarrassed one's clearing their throats.

"We are not pirates." She lectured. "We are just the opposite in fact. We are bounty hunters. And don't you go forgetting it…Flintlock." I shuddered slightly when she said my new name. It was as if a breeze had rolled through my body, chilling me to the bone.

Something still nagged at me inside though. "But why me? Why are you bringing me with you."

She just smirked before giving me a playful wink. "Why…haven't you heard?" She asked. "Fortune favors the bold. And you Flintlock, most definitely have bragging rights for being bold." Just before I could ask her what she meant she spoke again. "Also you said you can fix my rudder, and it's not as if I'm going anywhere anytime soon without that right? Nice shooting by the way." She smirked and began to walk back towards her own ship, leaving me standing their stupefied by her words. How does someone even respond to that.

"Ma'am?" Cayman called after her causing her to pause for a brief moment. As she did, I noticed her hands gripping the ropes that served as handrails on the gangplank tightly. "What do we do about the others?" He asked causing her to look over her shoulder at the three remaining crew members before she shrugged.

"Kill them." She ordered dismissively as she went on to her ship causing Cayman to grin and nod to his subordinates. Immediately there were three loud echoes in the air, followed by three sickening splats as the corpses of my previous crewmates fell over dead. I nearly jumped out of my shoes as I felt the large dark man's hand on my shoulder, squeezing with the grip of a vice.

"Welcome to the crew kid." He chuckled in his deep booming voice. Shaking I turned to look back at him, but I was surprised to see that on his face was now a kinder expression than before.

Without hesitation, I asked the question that was burning fiercely on my mind. "Who is she?" I asked, referring to the strange cherry haired woman who'd saved me. Cayman just laughed.

"You mean you don't know? Alright Flintlock, I'm going to give you the run down. You don't mind if I call you Flintlock do you? I mean, I'll always do it in public, less the Miss hears and gets angry with me, but if you prefer I'll call you Flynn in private." I shook my head indicating it was fine and that I wanted him to continued. "Alright, that lady that just pulled you out of the fire is our captain. Her name is Sarah Fortune and she is one of the most renowned bounty hunters to come out of Bilgewater. Don't ever call her Sarah though, she'll put a hole in you." As if to explain, he pulled aside his tight shirt to reveal a nasty scar on his shoulder from where a bullet had gone through it. "I'm her first mate Cayman, and most likely I'll be the one overseeing your duties. Cayman's fine…never like the formality of 'Boss' or anything like that."

"And what's the name of our ship?" I asked looking towards the beautiful Galleon that sat beside what was once my home. He chuckled softly again.

"Doesn't have one." I looked at him in shock and immediately recoiled from the deathtrap. He burst into laughter at my reaction. "Didn't take you for the superstitious type." He teased causing me to look at him.

"Look…I'm all for women being on ships…I'm not too condescending on the ladies…but a ship with no name. That's like signing a death warrant." He laughed and clapped my shoulder.

"Don't worry…I've been on the thing for the whole decade she's been in this business, not once have I seen it even come remotely close to capsizing or falling into the drink. It's perfectly safe."

"A lucky unlucky ship…with a captain who goes by the name Miss Fortune…I think I've seen it all." I replied nervously. Cayman just gave me a toothed grin and laughed.

"Trust me kid…you haven't seen nothing yet." And with that he began to follow the crew back across the gangplank, the body of my uncle slung across his shoulder. "Get your things and come across. Find me below decks and I'll show you the cabin you'll be staying in." He instructed as he gave me a friendly wave before vanishing into the hustle and bustle on the far ship. I swallowed nervously, unsure of what to do. Slipping below deck, I went to my cot and began to pack a bag, ready to leave this foul smelling fishboat behind. This life I'd lived…it was a lie, a shame. I was never meant to be the cabin boy of a booze-riddled fisherman with a bad attitude. I was meant to be free upon the open seas. My eyes glowed with excitement as I opened up the small leather case and began to pack it full of clothes. Closing it shut and sealing the clasp I rushed back to the deck.

Already the others were getting ready to sail. It didn't seem they enjoyed being in one place for too long, even if they would just be moving in circles with the rudder jammed like it was. I gripped my suitcase tightly with one hand, and my toolbox with the other. Taking a deep breath, I stepped on to the gang plank, walking across it as the faces of the crew all looked to the strange new addition the captain had taken an interest in. Walking through them, I could hear hushed murmurs, but the gossip and rumors wouldn't trouble me. I'd found what I wanted. I was finally free. Walking up to Cayman I dropped my things and placed my hand to my head which I held high. "Mr. Cayman…" I said causing him to grin at me. "Crewmate Flintlock Heart…reporting for duty!"

He chuckled and replied with his own salute. "Good. Your first assignment…put up your things and get to work on that rudder. The Captain will be wanting to speak with you once your done, so try not to dawdle." I nodded and went to go below decks. "Oh and Flintlock." He called causing me to turn back to look at him. "Welcome aboard." He grinned. I felt myself smiling as well. Finally I'd found a place where I could be who I wanted to be.

To be continued…