i dont own harry potter... but i can pretend... right?

I dont own this song either. it belongs to Ludo...

Sun falls slowly on our lonely

goodbye bedroom, you're my only.

My last night home is first-night nervous.

Take me over, remember all this 'til then...

Midnight. Harry lay awake staring at the ceiling, hardly daring to believe what he and his friends were planning for the very next day. He assumed that given the vast amount of danger that he was about to put himself in his senses should be heightened, yet he felt strangely dead inside. He heard no threatening noises outside the house. He got up to stare out the window and saw no ominous shadows lurking in the yard below. Nothing. He supposed he should be thankful that he didnt feel anxious or scared. However, he felt nothing whatsoever, and that worried him. An absence of all feelings proved to be a strange feeling in itself.

Harry lowered himself onto the cot that he was temporarily occupying in Ron's room and resumed his position, staring at the celing with his arms behind his head. "This is stupid," he thought. He didn't feel tired and he knew that the longer he lay there the longer the sun would take to rise. Acting on an impulse, he got back out of bed, rummaged for a pair of socks and sweatshirt, and crept cat-like from the room. As silently as he could, he made his way down the stairs towards Ginny's floor. He hopped the last step, remembering that it creaked. He inhaled deeply, stealing himself for what he was about to do, and for the first time he felt something stirring within him. Nervousness. "If I get caught, they'll throw me out for sure," he mused before realizing that it didn't matter. He was leaving at dawn anyway.

Reaching for the doorknob, he paused as he allowed another terrifying thought to enter into his mind. "What if she turns me away?" He shook his head. He couldn't let this moment pass. He wanted to be with her. He needed to be with her. With that he pushed open the door, inch by inch, until it was wide enough for him to slip through. As he closed the door behind him, he felt his breath hitch in his chest. He knew he was staring at the most beautiful woman in the world.

The full moon cast its silverly light on upon her sleeping form and her hair was fanned out on her pillow. If he looked closely, he found new colors in her hair that he had never noticed before. The difference between how he felt 5 minutes before and how he felt now was astonishing. A misture of feelings swelled in his chest, but one thing hit him harder than emotion he had ever felt before. It was something he couldn't quite put his finger on. He wondered if it might be love, but he never would have admitted it to anyone, especially himself. Not now. He coudln't be falling now, on the very eve of his departure. He simply wouldn't allow it. Yet at the same time, he yearned for it more than anything, with all his heart and soul.

He shook his head and moved across the room, thankful that Hermione had opted to stay in Fred and George's old room for this visit. Silently, he knelt next to Ginny's bed and brushed her hair away from her face. Leaning in, he breathed into her ear, "Wake up, Gin. I want to talk."

She rubbed her eyes, looking shocked to see him. "Harry, its midnight!" she whispered.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just really need to talk to you."

"It's fine," she said, moving over and offering him a spot under her covers. "What's the matter? Is everythign ok?"

"No, I have something I need to tell you." He crawled into bed with her and lay on his side facing her. "Promise me that no matter what I tell you, you won't make me leave. I don't want to be alone."

She took his hands in hers and kissed the tips of his fingers. He felt his heart skip a bit and knew that he had fallen just a little bit farther. He mentally kicked himself. He tried to recall some of the numbness he had experienced earlier to help him ignore this new sensation, but he failed miserably.

"Gin... we're all leaving here in the morning. We don't know where we're going, or when we'll be back. We have to do it though, and we didn't want anyone stopping us, so we weren't going to say anything to anyone. But it just didn't feel right not telling you."

Ginny looked at him steadily with her beautiful brown eyes. Sadly, she shifted her eyes to their intertwined hands. "I assume this 'we' doesn't include me?" At this Harry shook his head. She sighed. "Well, I don't know what you want me to say."

"I want you to say exactly what it is that you're thinking."

"I know why you won't take me, or tell me anything else about this trip, and I think that its not fair. But life's not fair and I understand that. Plus, that's not what this is about. I know that whatever I say, you won't listen to me anyway, so there's no point trying to change your mind at this point." She paused here. "I also know that I will support you no matter what."

Harry looked at her questioningly. "Really?"

"Don't misunderstand me. I'd rather you stay with me, exactly like this, forever. But that wouldn't accomplish anything. But just know that I will hate every second that you, my brother, and my best friend are out there risking your lives while I am forced to sit here and wonder what life we all could have had." Her voice had changed and Harry couldn't quite identify what it was that made her voice quiver and shake. Was it fear for those that she cared about, or anger at being left behind?

With a pang of guilt, he realized that it was a flood of tears threatening to break free from her eyes. This was not what he wanted. Tonight was about them. Just the two of them.

He took his thumb and wiped away the lone tear that had managed to escape. "Gin, I'm sorry. But you understand, don't you?" She nodded.

Harry took her face in both his hands and pressed his lips gently to her forhead. "Let's talk about something else," he whispered.

Without saying a word, Ginny nestled closer and buried her face in Harry's chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and kissed the top of her head. Her final words before she fell asleep were, "Make sure you come home safe so we can do this whole relationship thing properly."

Harry held her as he felt her breathing become deeper, slower, and more even.

Please save this for me.

I'll come back for you, love, I promise to.

Please save this for me, for until I return

my love will burn and my heart will stay.

My heart will stay

It's gone cold now, we'll sleep somehow.

I'll be gone by first light, last chance, hold tight until then..

For a long time, Harry lay awake, watching the moonlight moving across Ginny's face. He tried his best to memorize every freckle on her perfect skin. He committed to memory the curve of her lips as well as their delicate shade of pink. He buried his nose in her hair and did his best to hold on to the scent of her shampoo and the way that her body felt in his arms. This, he decided, was what he was fighting for, what he would die to save, but what made him fight so hard to live. This was perfection at its very finest.

Harry fell asleep that night with a feeling deep in his chest that he had never felt before. A feeling, he knew, that was complete and utter contentment.

I lie awake and memorize your face

as you sleep next to me.

The falling moon is calling me as i leave.

Sunrise slowly, the road looms lonely

but I will not fail...

Harry awoke a few hours later. A quick glance out the window told him exactly what he didnt want to know. He watched as the moon slowly relinquished its hold on the sky to the dawn. The first shots of pink were just beginning to streak the deep blue and a sudden sinking feeling took hold of his chest. He glanced back to Ginny's face and smiled. He stroked her hair till she began to stir. As their eyes met the both smiled, hardly daring to believe that they had been able to spend a night together in such uninterrupted peace.

With a giggle she kissed his forhead, then moved down to his eyelids, the tip of his nose, then finally his lips. She pulled back and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. "I'll miss you," was all she said.

Harry didnt answer, and for a moment Ginny looked worried.

"Gin, I'm sorry... I was going to wait, but I just can't. You need to know before I leave. I love you..."

Ginny inhaled sharply, but then her expression softened. "I know. And you know I've always loved you."

"I know," Harry replied.

Upstairs, they heard footsteps and Harry knew that the time had finally arrived.

Ginny kissed him one more time, and Harry felt her trying to pour everything they had left unsaid that night into that one kiss. That one wonderful, glorious...no... perfect kiss.

"Go," she said.

Unwillingly, Harry rolled out of bed. He made it all the way to the door before he turned back to see Ginny, propped up on one elbow, watching him walk away. Once again, he noticed she was choking back tears.

Before he knew it, he had crossed the room in two strides. He leaned over and kissed her. Now it was his turn to pour out his feelings. Slowly she leaned back on her pillow, her mouth never leaving Harry's. In the blink of an eye, Harry found himself on his back, with Ginny sitting on top of him. She pinned his arms above his head, and Harry tried to tilt his head up to meet her lips, but Ginny pulled away just out of reach.

"Promise me you'll come back. You will kill that son of a bitch. And you and Ron and Hermione will all come home safe." She tightened her grip on his wrists and leaned closer to him starting him in the eyes. He noticed the ferocity with which she spoke and the intensity in her gaze. "Promise me..."

"For you. I promise." And he kissed her. Despite Harry's promise, both knew that it could very well be their last kiss. The awful reality seemed to hang over the room as Harry calmly stood, kissed her forhead one last time, and whispered in her ear "I love you, Gin."

With that he strode from the room without looking back.

My heart will stay.