Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and I have no idea how the book might actually end.

Don't take it seriously people, read it, enjoy it, and review it :)

An Alternative Ending to Harry Potter

And so began the seventh, and last, book detailing the events of the life of Harry Potter…

Harry, being the heroic, selfish git that he is, went after Voldemort without any regard for his own safety or the safety of those that he emotionally blackmailed to go along with him (Ron and Hermione.) Members of the Order were dragged along as well, as they had promised Sirius they would protect Harry, and Snape went as well because he'd promised Dumbledore that he would protect Harry, though his loyalties are still somewhat dubious.

Harry and Voldemort faced each other, somewhere suitably dark and dank of course, while everyone else looked on in horror, as Harry had offered to fight Voldemort completely alone with no help because he is the Boy Who Lived and is therefore brilliant.

To make a very long and laborious fight scene a tad shorter, let's just say that Harry hit Voldemort a few times, before Voldemort unleashed some secret weapon (probably breaking at least one hundred unspoken rules of duelling, but he's a dark wizard so what do you expect) and struck Harry down, not before serving him some nasty insults and a few dodgy puns.

"Haaaarrrrrrrry!" Hermione screamed, as Harry's body fell to the floor with a 'Thud!'

"Oh no," gasped Ron.

"Stupid boy," grumbled May-Eye.

"Bloody Potter," sneered Severus.

"Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Wailed McGonagall, before collapsing onto a very startled Severus, who moved away slightly.

Lupin searched his pockets before running over to Harry and prising open his mouth, forcing lumps of chocolate into his mouth, before being dragged away by a sobbing Tonks.

"We've failed!" She screeched, sinking to the ground as Lupin stared at his chocolate covered hands in amazement.

"Muhahahaha Ahahahahaha!" Cackled Voldemort, giving the group a triumphant (and very evil) grin. Muttering a spell and flicking his wand, Harry suddenly rose from the floor and proceeded to use the Forbidden Curses on all of his friends, protectors and (in Snape's case) rivals.

"Oh bugger," muttered Mad-Eye as he was blasted into nothing.

"Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Wailed McGonagall as she joined Mad-Eye.

"Strutting-" Snape managed half an insult before dropping to the ground.

"Noooooooooooooooo!" Screamed Hermione as her and Ron collapsed next to Snape. Lupin feverishly stuffed chocolate into his mouth and Harry pointed his wand at him, then at Tonks.

"Muhahahahahahhahahah," Voldemort giggled insanely to himself, before Harry turned the wand on himself with a sigh.

So, the Order was destroyed, nobody ever found out which side Snape was really on, Sirius and Dumbledore really were dead and weren't coming back to save the day and Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, was now known as the kid who had doomed the Wizarding World for all eternity. Hogwarts was turned into a school for the Dark Arts, with Lucius Malfoy as its Headmaster, and any good wizards were put into slavery to replace the House Elves. Voldemort destroyed the Muggle World and all remnants of it, but not before erecting a statue of Harry Potter in Hyde Park so that all the Muggles would know exactly who was to blame for their predicament.

And JK Rowling scraped in millions for this pile of doggy-do and the devoted fans rallied together and went on a witch-hunt to have her burnt at the stake.

The End.