A/N: Me and my wannabe German-ism (n-no, not really). I read this one KlavierxEma story by Mysterious Kinkster, who took the time to do some research, which I promptly ... copied (sorry! Your story was awesome, though).

Disclaimer: theonlyoneleft does not wish to cause any international incidents with the "flamboyant" (getit?) misuse of the German language (also, the em-dash).

(Oh yeah, and two in a row? Who let this kid in here, seriously?)

"Ooh, baby."

Pure sarcasm, of course. Ema Skye's specialty.

Pushing me aside, she marched gloomily up to her Snackoos and walked right past me, something I've always hated about her. I mean, who just walks right past Klavier-freaking-Gavin, ex-lead-singer of the way-beyond-platinum hit-band the Gavinners. Alles, who gets that stupid bitch? She leaves me there, mid-friendly-grin, expecting me to follow her, probably. Pfft. Klavier Gavin does not wait on any woman hand and foot, ja?

So explain to me again how we ended up in such a compromising situation?

x

"Ooh, baby!" But this time, it was completely appropriate.

Who knew mein Fräulein said things like that? I kept at it, though, pressed against her, with her pressed against the wall. "Ach, Fräulein detective, you never cease to surprise me."

"Apparently—" a moan "—second base is no match for Klavier Gavin's top-notch conversational skills."

"You know it, mein liebling," I breathed. "God, I could swear you've done this before."

"Nope."

"Oh, but you moan so well."

"I do take pride in my vocal skills. Allow me to demonstrate as I expertly say—

x

"—Get the fuck off me, you dribbling idiot!" Aaand she pushed him.

Gavin felt blurred around the edges. Not enough to stop being his usual self, however. "Nnghh. Watch your tone, mein lieber. You are still speaking to your boss, who has just been rudely awakened from a nice nap." He fell on his face gracefully as her presence left the couch.

"Yeah, tell that to the one who had to have you all … pressed up … against … places—and I really freaking hope that was your knee. And don't call me German words I can't understand! Also, I hate you. Just thought I'd throw that out there."

He only snickered. "We have a terrible working relationship, ja?"

"We have nothing of the sort! Now," she said, grabbing—what else?—her Snackoos. "I will take my leave. Good day, sir."

"How long was I—?"

"I said good day!"

He knew she'd always wanted to do that.

x

That night, Ema came home with a stack of books on the German language. She intended to find out what that glimmerous bastard had been muttering under his breath. Well, the German parts, anyway.

"You moan so well," huh? Yes …. That was only his knee, Ema. Just his knee. But unconsciously, she still bit her lip from the mere thought.

Back in focus, her eyes darted back and forth across the same line of text. Ema half-expected the words to change, to mock her for even believing it. But there it was, in black and white:

You know it, my favorite. Mein liebling.

A/N: So I looked up the German word for darling and I got liebling. Then I translated it back to English using the trusty(?) translator and it gave me back 'my favorite.' Of course, I was like d'awww and proceeded to make it the focal point of this story. Currently working on the second chapter, (that no one will read because they will be too busy reading Twilight fanfics. I should know, I wrote one. *shudders*) which I will post soon. Oh and as always, feel free to totally whip me on any grammatical errors. 'Kay, bye.

P.S.: I found the German phrase for 'I fucked your girlfriend, but sadly, she was not as good a shag as your beloved mother!' I love people.