Disclaimer: I do not and will never own any of the characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 1

Reminiscing

I awoke to the sound of a wolf howling in the forest and I was dead scared. It brought back so many painful goddamn memories, I didn't want back. I really was sick and tired of being sick and tired of all the bullshit in my life.

It seems as though fate hates me and wants to torture me until it can't any longer. It wants to choke me and have me down into the dark, cold ocean waters.

As I thought about all these unfathomable events in my life, I knew I had to come home sooner than later. I had to face the obstacles that were being pushed in my way.

"Lee," I heard someone murmured as I started to heard footsteps and the crushing of leaves.

Great, I thought to myself someone had found me. I was in the woods close to my home. I had gone up to the Makah reservation with my grandma and just came back. At least I had two long, good weeks to myself after I found out what had happen to me. The only person that knew was my mom, dad, and my little bro Seth.

"Leah?" someone asked. I sighed and turned around.

"Yeah," I murmured as I turned around. The tall, russet-skinned boy was none other than Jacob Black. His expression turned to relieve instantly once he laid his brown eyes on mine.

"You should come home. You parents and Seth are worry sick about you," he said. "and Sam is worried about you too," he continued whispering about the last part.

"Don't you dare bring him up. He doesn't give a shit about me and I'm pretty fucking positive about that," I said shaking my head, holding in the tears.

"Sorry, Lee, it's just he does and so does everyone else."

"Okay then," I said pushing my head back as if it was obviously a lie.

"I'm dead serious, why the fuck do you think no one gives a crap about you? You felt loved before and then Sam left you and you think no ones gives a shit. I mean it was just Sam who hurt you." I cringed at this name. Jacob looked at me sympathetically before continuing. "You still have everyone who ever treated you like a queen here still loving and caring for you. There are other people Lee, try to accept those people."

"What are you my father?"

"No, don't try to do the sarcastic game."

"Oh, I guess you are because you're telling me what to do and that was one hell of a small pity speech," I said letting out a quick dose of laughter.

"Leah," he said slowly putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Get you hands of me," I said looking up at him.

"Lee, come home and time will mend all your wounds," he said taking his hands instantly off as I gave me the evil eye.

"Sure, like that's right."

"It might not completely, but it'll help," he said.

"Three years Jake. You mean to tell me three years of happiness meant nothing. It ended and I've fallen down this dirty ass pit and that I could get over it like that," I said snapping my fingers to exaggerate my point.

"Only time will tell," he said embracing me and a hug, which I quickly returned imaging him as my Sam.

"Let's get back now. Your parents are a mess."

"Why? They should of know I was just at Grand's."

"Well, they were still concern for you emotional state," he said. I laughed at that. I was indeed a wreck, an emotional, bitter bitch ever since that day. The day where everything changed.

As I walked up to the house, I heard and wolf howl and it sound hurt, pained like I was. I laughed bitterly to myself once again. I think I was turning into psycho. Jacob grabbed a hold of my hand and I quickly pulled out of it. I turned the door knob and my mom ran right into me.

"Leah!" my mom screamed as if she hadn't seen me in like ten years.

"Mom," I said shrieking a bit. The look on her face made me want to go down on my knees and apologize, same goes for my dad.

I embraced them both in hugs and reassured them that I was fine. Jacob excused himself to leave, so he could go wash up to hang out with Seth later.

I decided to just go and take a long nice bath to help clear my mind. It didn't help at all. I kept reminiscing all the times I spend with him. When he was missing and I went ballistic trying to search for him. He did come back. He was more muscular, more handsome, but he wasn't the Sam I once knew. He's personality was more cold, but his presence and hands were burning. He was more aggressive.

Once I left the shower I went downstairs and once Seth spotted me he went over and gave me a bone crushing hug.

"Wow, Seth did you work out when I was gone?" I asked.

"No," he said smiling. Then putting up his muscles said, "I like these, I guess I'm not that weak anymore."

I rolled my eyes. He was sure as hell gangly as ever, his walk was even weird. I was interrupted in my train of thought of how my brother was when there was a knock on the door. I went over to get it. As I opened it, I realized that it was Sam and I tried closing the door on him, but he pushed it open and went inside. The looks on my parents faces were horrid.

"Leah, I want to talk to you," he demanded.

"Well, I don't want to talk to you, so I guess you'll be leaving now," I said choking back tears.

"Lee-Lee, just please come. I just want to talk to you about some of the things going on," he said.

"You can't make me go. I still have my free will."

He sighed and his hands started shaking. My dad looked terrified at what he might do, but their eyes were locked together. If my dad thought that Sam was on drugs or something he was so wrong, but then I could be too because everything I assumed about Sam seemed mistaken.

"Leah, you should go with him sweetie," my dad said. I looked at my father for what seemed like ages and the look in his eyes told me that I should.

"Fine," I said. The only reason I did was because of my father. He was the only one that defended Sam for my sake.

I walked out the front door with Sam. It was silent.

"You said you had something to say to me."

"Yeah," he said.

"Why the hell haven't you spill it out already?"

"Leah, I hate this," he said grabbing my hand and pulling me towards a rock to sit on it.

"Like I don't," I responded angrily.

"I know I hurt you."

"No shit," I said. I saw Sam glare at me and it seemed like I should keep my smartass comments to myself.

"I know I fucking hurt you and I hate myself for it. You act like I'm not in pain either. I am Lee, I love you and yet I can't be with you."

"That's a complete lie Sam and you it. If you love me then you would give up whatever it was that your keeping from me for me. You don't, so obviously those three years were all lies and a waste."

"It wasn't a waste! I love the fun times we shared together even though it pains me Lee, it fucking hurts to think about it. I do love you. I just can't tell you, you'll think of me as a complete monster. I want to be with you, it's not like I don't, it's just that I don't want to hurt you," he said stressing on the word hurt.

"Well it seems like it to me because you seem to throw it away so quickly. You act as if you don't want to be anywhere near my presence," I said as the tears was swelling up and flowing down my face. Sam reluctantly kiss the tear drops off and embraced me in a hug.

"Sam, is there anyway we could make this work? I mean anything?" I asked and my heart was fluttering awaiting for the answer. I wanted him, so bad and yet it seemed like no way. As much as I knew I might get hurt again, I didn't care. He was my addiction my first love, my first everything. We were going to have - I stopped myself right there. I wasn't going to that of that.

After about a couple seconds of silence and hesitation, he pulled my face back. He looked me into my eyes and he crushed his lips onto mine and they were moving perfectly in sync. I missed this, the kisses, his woodsy smell, his husky voice, and his breath tickling my skin.

"Does that answer you question?" he asked as he slightly pulled away, but enough to look me into my eyes.

"Somewhat," I said closing my eyes.

"Well, I guess I shall make it more clear," he said pressing his lips on mine once again. He sucked on my bottom lip and I parted them slightly so he could make his entrance. His tongue danced around in my mouth. I shivered a bit and he chuckled.

Once we had our little breather we just sat there in silence.

"Will you tell me what's been going on with you?" I asked, curiosity creeping up to me.

"Lee, just know that I love you and I would lose you if you knew."

"I don't care, just please tell me. I mean, you made me cut you hair and you love your hair. You look so much more mature, your personality seems a bit different. You also broke some promises we made and it scares me that I'm going to lose you one of these days."

The memory of the day he made me cut his hair ran through mind.

"Leah," he said bursting through my door. He came back just yesterday. Actually, I was at first beach crying my eyes out when he came towards me naked trying to comfort me. He then decided to come back home. I laid in his arms when I saw him and cried for hours. He was somewhat crying too. So much depth of emotion had taken place on that day.

"Sam!" I shouted in a high-pitched voiced. I ran towards him to embrace him into a hug. He looked down at me and crushed his lips onto mine moving in perfect sync.

"Lee-Lee, I need you to do me a favor," he said trembling.

"Sure, what is it?" I asked knowing that I would just about do anything for him.

"I want you to cut my hair for me. I don't care if I'm going to look like a freak, I just want you to cut it for me."

"What? Why? You and I both love your hair."

"I know, it's just better this way," he said grabbing the kitchen scissors and handing them to me.

"Are you sure Sam?" I asked. I wanted to do as he said, but I was scared. I didn't know what was going on and I was frighten that he would disappear again. I spend days in my room crying my eyes out and pretending to be brave for the sake of my family.

"Yeah, the shorter the better," he said shaking.

"Okay, I just don't want you to look like a mutant or something," I mumbled and he chuckled.

"I don't care, I'll love it anyways, it's for the best," he said.

"Okay," I said hesitantly.

I took the scissors and I was very uncertain about it.

"Leah, just please do it for me."

After I heard the plead and a tear rolled down his cheek I cut it. Trying my best to make sure that his hair was even. After I was done, I couldn't help, but to cry myself. I loved his hair and I knew he loved it too. I didn't understand what was going on with him.

I handed him a small mirror, so he could see the results.

"It's not bad Lee, you did a really good job," he said smiling at me. He got up and picked me up, not letting me clean up. My legs went around his waist and he kissed me. His woodsy smell was so addicting.

My head was rested on his shoulder and he was stroking my hair.

"You are to promise me that you'll never cut your hair. Do you understand me?"

"Why is that? You cut yours."

"Please just promise me that you'll never cut your hair and that you'll never leave my side. We'll get married and have those fantastic honeymoons and we'll be together until death do us part. Just please don't leave me," he said tears falling down his copper skin.

"I promise," I said.

"Leah," Sam said snapping me back into reality.

"What was your answer again?" I asked after what happened clicked into my mind. He chuckled.

"I'm sorry, but in do time I'll tell you. It's kind of hard to say. You'll take me as a freak. Just think back to legends and maybe you'll find the answers," he said.

"What are you an elder now?" I teased.

"No, but it does relate."

Then I heard a wolf howling in the distance.

"Shit," Sam murmured.

"What is it?" I asked getting up.

"I have to go, but please, please stay out of danger. Go back to your family. I love you and I'll be by later to check on you," he said running further into the woods. "I love you Lee-Lee!" he shouted and then he was out of my sight.

"I love you too Sam!" I shouted back and he gave me a thumbs up before he vanished into the trees.

He was a really fast runner, he was such an athlete. I think I could just melt at the thought of him. He was perfection. I wonder how he could change my mood from depression to straight up happy. I was just as bitter as can be when I thought I could be with him, but now as I knew I was going to be in his arms, I felt better. He was my mood charm, but I still didn't forgive him for one thing. That was going to be secret for the rest of my eternity.

I walked back to my house and Jacob was there. He looked tired and drained.

"Lee," he said shaking.

"Yeah Jake," I said.

"Were you with that douche that hurt you?" he asked.

"Yes, and he's not a douche, thanks a lot Jake. Please don't use cruel words to describe him."

"He hurt you to the fullest extend and you mean to tell me that you'll just take him back like that! That you'll still defend him no matter what. That's complete bull Lee."

"I love him and he apparently still loves me, so I'm going to do what makes me happy!" I exclaimed.

He scoffed back, looking disgusted at my answer. "Yeah, sure it will. It'll cause you more pain Lee, He'll cause you more pain," he said pointing into the woods.

"Jake are you here to lecture me about my personal life? You need to mind your own goddamn business. I feel blessed that you care, but leave me the fuck alone about. I love Sam and until you experience the feeling you'll never know."

"Leah," he said stressing on my name. "Please, think about everyone if you get hurt and take off like that again. You have other people you love and love you, It's not just him," he said putting my hands on my shoulder rocking me back and forth.

"I know, but please it's no big deal."

"I just care," he said.

Seth came out and they two were off to wherever they had planned to go. I went into my room and laid there thinking about all the words that were said to me. All the pain I endured.

As much as I didn't want to trust Jacob, I knew there was a possibility to his words. As, I did take those words in, the pain and misery came crawling back. The days Sam was missing was dear torture and I believed that he would return and to me. I didn't believe he was dead as everyone else did. I know he didn't do drugs, he was too good for that. He came back because I believed and hope. What I shall do is believe everything will be alright between the two of us. I believed and that's why he's back. Right now, it's the only thing to do.

Even thought he's a tad bit different, he's mine and still here wanting to be in my arms. I was pretty sure that his warm presence was real and what we had was too.

I guess only the future can determine whether or not me and Sam was destined for each other, but right now I am for certain that I will fight for him.

A/N: I started writing and I couldn't stop. Reviews would be lovely.