Here's the deal: I don't own. You don't sue.
Flame as much as you want but keep in mind that your words say more about you than about the story. I'll repeat my warning about the rating. It's R-rated for language. If this doesn't sound good to you then protect your feelings and stop reading now!
Openness and Sincerity"Virg, Virg, you awake?" called Scott.
"Yeah, Scott, I am."
"It's been a year now."
"I can't hear you, the noise of the shower!"
"It's been a year now."
"I know," called Virgil. "I don't think many happy returns are in order, huh?"
"Oh God, no! How are you feeling?"
"How would you feel after standing under a shower for a year?" called Virgil. "I'm hungry, I'm all shrivelled up and I ran out of hot water months ago! How about you?"
"I could do murder for a steak," called Scott. "And Virgil? I'm sorry but I ruined your carpet."
"Damn it, Scott, couldn't you have used your handkerchief?"
"What? You want me to crap in my handkerchief? It's been a year now, Virgil, that's a lot of crap."
"Sorry, I thought you meant that other need. But I know what you're getting at, you could say I'm in deep shit too."
"Let me tell you, when a man is peeing in his pants for a year, not to mention the shitting he has done, then he isn't in the mood for that other need."
"Well endowed!" called Virgil. "After a shower this long I'll need a magnifying glass to see it and tweezers to jack myself off."
"At least you take a leak and stay clean," called Scott.
"What I don't understand is why you stayed in my room all this time."
"I told you! I TURNED TO LEAVE! Period! No marching orders! If only I could have made it to the corridor..."
"If I remember correctly it said you turned and left the room," called Virgil. "You had no reason to stay in here."
"Do you think I would have stayed here if I could have got out?"
"You would. Your big brother act. Scott to the rescue! Instead of leaving me alone for once..."
"Well, I can't leave and if I could I would leave now!" called Scott.
"No, you wouldn't," called Virgil. "For it would mean that you have to admit that you misread that last sentence and that's something you never will do. Damn it, I'll never get those stains out of my carpet."
"Of course you will. We're bound to have industrial carpet cleaner."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"And were would that be, brother dear?"
"Obviously in the supply room, brother dear!"
"No, we haven't," called Virgil. "Last time I was there I saw only toilet cleaner. We..."
"We? We? You took your girlfriend to the supply room to watch the supplies? Virgie, Virgie, I thought that I had... God Almighty, Virgil, the girls! What do we tell the girls?"
"Do you think we will ever see them again?" called Virgil.
"Of course," called Scott. "Don't you?"
"I've given up hope, Scott, I've given up hope."