Oook, Here's the thing: I do speak english, but I'm brazilian, so I'm sorry for the possible mistakes.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the fact that I can't sleep at night.
If you read this story, you could review. It's not that good, but it could be worse... I think.

The Night.
Ashley woke up earlier today. Actually she didn't woke up, cause she didn't couldn't sleep. She woke up and she realized that she hates Spencer. They known each other for 10 years. They've dated for 7 years. They got married 2 years ago. And she hates Spencer for 8 hours.

Why?

Easy. Ashley cheated on Spencer 2 months ago; they had an argument for some stupid reason, AShley went to a bar and fucked some ramdom girl. She told Spencer, and she forgived her. And now, she hates her for that. She hates someone, and she thinks that person is Spencer.
Spencer got mad at Ashley, and tried to ask for the divorce, but Ashley begged for forgivness. And so she did. And, now, she was starting to trust Ashley again.

But something is wrong. They're both lost. They don't know what to do. They love each other, that was never the pointo. But how much do they love each other? Does it really matter when something like that happen? Could you cheat on the person you love? Could you hurt the person you love?
Yes. You love the ones you can hate, you hate the ones you can love. Is not that different. Ashley love Spencer. But today she hates her.

It's 4 a.m. and Shley is by the window. It's dark and it feels dark. Ashely had made a lot of mistakes. Spencer too. But how could she forgive her?
She's feeling guilty. She'll always feel guilty for the pain she caused.

--
Ashley's POV.

It's been half an hour since I'm here. I woke up today hating the love of my life.

"What are doing up so early?" She's standing by door a bit scared. She knows what's coming. I can feel it.

"I'm a horrible person" I say looking through the window. I can't look at her. I don't deserve it.

"Why?" She sits on the couch. I look at her and I can see the tears in her eyes. I'm a horrible person.

"Cause I've cheated on you, and you forgave me. And now I hate you for that." She's diffrent now; her eyes show no emotion.

"Say it." She's angry now. Her eyes are darker, her voice is rough. Is like she's punching me with words.
And yet, I don't say a word. I just can't.

"Say it!" She clenches her fists and punches the couch. "Say it dammit! You feel it, don't you? Now say it!"

This is horrible, I'm horrible.

She stand now, she's coming to me. Now she grabs me by my arms and force me to look at her. I'm crying so hard I can't barely open my eyes. She's shaking me and I don't think I ever felt so scared in my whole life.

"Say it! Say..."
"I hate you!" I interrup her and scream from the top of my lungs. I can't believe I just said this. I just can't.

She looks so shocked now, and she frozed. She's not shaking me anymore, just holding my arms, but I'm still shaking.
She let me go and look away from me. She's crying so hard now, probably harder than me.

"I'm sorry." It was a whisper, and I didn't meant to say that. I didn't saw it coming. And I didn't saw her hand when she slapped me.

"Fuck you." She wispers and walk away.

She turns her back to me and stands like that for a few seconds before turning back at me and starts to undress me. She ripped my thank top and my pantes with my underwear roughly. I don't try to stop her, but I want her to stop.

She fucked me. She scratched my back, she bited my lip. And now they're both bleeding. She pulled me by my hair the whole time and didn't looked at me one singl time. She just fucked me like I was nothign, like I was no one.
I didn't wanted to cum, but I did. I scream, but it wasn't from pleasure. She hurted me and she knows it. When she finished, she cleanned her fingers in my ripped thank top and trown it at my face.

Now I'm naked, sitting on the floor while sh's at the couch. There's a horrible silence and I don't think I can take this anymore. I'm crying harder tha ever. Shaking, bleeding, hurting. I feel so dirty and so ashamed.

"You wanna hate me? Fine. But hate me for this: for fucking you like a meaningless whore."

"I d-d-don't hate you." I'm sitting at the floor hugging my knees and looking at her. I sobbing so mcuh that I thought I could speak.

"Aren't you clever..." She's bitter now. Ok. I deserve this. "I'm not leaving. Don't talk to me like I'm stupid, cause we both know I'm not stupid. I know the facts: we fought, you got drunk, you fucked some ramdom gil. I get that You wanna tell me how you feel? How you REALLY feel? ok. I'll listen. Like I said, I'm not going anywhere, and you're not going anywhere too. This is it. Don't hate me for forgived you, hate me for something I really did. That's it."

There's os many thing I wanna tell her now. That she's beautiful, that I love her, that her eyes are the prettiest thing I've ever seen, that she lights my life...

"I don't hate you." She nods. Just. Nods.

There's a safe distance between us, and that's good.
"It was so easy, She was there, I w..."
"No facts! I told that's pointless! Why don't y..."
"I hate myself!" That was the most sincere thing I said tonight. I screamed it, but I'm scared as fuck. "I hate myself for cheating on you. I hate myself cause you forgaved me. I hate myself cause I'm a horrible person, and you're not."

She's coming. Again. She sits next to me on the floor, and I hug my knees closer to me and put my head down.

"I lied to you." It's was barely audible. If it wasn't so quiet here I probably wouldn't had listened. I look up and see her eyes so red from crying as she huggs her own knees. We lock eyes. "I haven't forgive you. I still picture you and some ramdom chick together. I keep thing if she was prettier than me, if you felt something when you fucked her, if you still thinks about her..."
She's crying so hard now, but she doesn't stop looking at me and I wont stop looking at her for nothing.

"Was she prettier than me?"

"Never."

This is it. I love her.

"I'll forgive you. But not now. I'll forgive you cause I want to."

Thank you." My voice is fragile that everything I say comes out as a whisper.

"Don't thank me. Just help me. Help us. And then, we'll get through this."

And so she huggs me. And I burry my face on her neck. And she sways me. And she whispers sweet words in my ears. And that's all I need,

I'm starting to fall asleep, but I feel her fingers on my chin, bringing our faces together. She wipes my tears with her tumb and I do the same with hers.

And I kiss her. Soft. Sweet. Gentle. Perfect.

"Let's go to bed, ok?" She asks. I nod and she helps me to stand up. Hand in hand we gr to our bedroom.

I lay first and wait for her. She takes off her clothes and lies next to me.

We're face to face, and I think this is one of the best moments that we ever shared.

She brings her face closer to mine and whispers in my lips "I love you." before kissing me.

"I love you too."

And that's all I need. And now I'm safe. Safe from all the things that used to hunt me. We'll get through this. We're starting to get through this.