SMSTSS 22: "The Gauntlet of the Gods!" – By DS Wynne
Disclaimer: SM, R1/2, ST and other properties belonged to their respective owners.
Note: This is a multi-genre one-shot story.
Special Note: This takes place in modern day.
Author's Note: This story is based upon "The Incredible Hulks" #621, in which the Hulk challenges the gods of Mt. Olympus. Here is my version of the same events.
Mount Olympus, Greece.
Usagi Tsukino—the Thrice-Great "Sailor Moon"—sighed, as she faced her obstacle.
"I'm too old for this nonsense," Usagi mused, as she looked on. With the return of Mt. Olympus and other pantheons across the planet, Usagi had gone around each and every one of them to set down new terms of conduct. After all, as the "Lady- in-White", the Leader of the Technocratic Union, it was her job to protect humanity from those with the power to harm it, and the Olympians are no exception. However, in this particular case, Zeus insisted that Usagi go through a ritual gauntlet, if she was to get him to sign the agreement between the Olympians and the Technocratic Union.
"Hmmm," Usagi said, as she saw the towering peaks of the home of the Olympians. Between her and her destination was a channel of water, the first leg of her trek.
Meanwhile, one of her patrons, Herakles, the God of Heroes rubs the back of his head, before turning towards her longtime friend.
"You sure you want to do this?" Herakles asked. "You know, my father is not exactly a nice guy, even under the best of circumstances."
"Has to be done, Hera-kun," Usagi said, as she stretched her limbs.
"And what about Ranma, then? Surely he would disapprove of your actions."
"Actually, he encouraged this," Usagi replied. "He trusts me enough to succeed."
"You think you can succeed against my father? The challenges you will be facing won't be the same one as before."
Herakles was referring to the fact that Mount Olympus was under a dark spell from the Lords of Chaos, which created evil doppelgangers of the gods, doppelgangers that had to be destroyed if Mount Olympus was to be restored…
"Hera-kun, you wouldn't have entrusted me with your great strength, if you didn't think I wasn't worthy of being a hero," Usagi said, as she placed a hand on Herakles' left shoulder. "Besides, it's been a while since I last had a decent workout, Chaos War not withstanding of course."
"Of course," Herakles said with a smile. "Do you need a weapon of some kind to help you on your quest?"
"No, I just need this," Usagi said, as she held up a simple book.
"A spell book?"
"No, but it's my trump card nevertheless."
"Ah. Well, you better get started. Father Zeus doesn't like to be kept waiting."
"Well, here goes," Usagi said, as she took a dive into the water. Ever since the end of the so-called "Chaos War" ended, Zeus Panhellenios assumed his role as "All-Father" of the Olympians. In fact, all the previous roles that the Olympians have played were restored, so Poseidon was restored as the "Lord of the Seas" while Hades was restored as "Lord of the Underworld" and so on and so forth.
As a side note, for Xenako, the daughter of the Easterling god Izanagi and a mortal Greek woman from ancient Amphipolis (as well as wife of Herakles, "God of Heroes"), she happily relinquished her title of "God of War" back to Ares. That didn't make Enyo, the actual "Goddess of War", any happier, since she felt that she was a better representation of the title. So, Xenako and Enyo fought a duel, in which only one will be the goddess, while the other will become mortal. Xenako defeated Enyo, causing the goddess to be reborn as a mortal human (sans her memories of her godhood) named "Enya Amphilos". However, in the process, Xenako sheds her own mortal self, in exchange for Enyo's godhood. And thus, Xena, Goddess of War, was reborn anew. The irony is that whenever Xena now journeys to Earth, she automatically uses Enya as a mortal guise to walk around amongst humankind, unless called upon to display her full presence as an Olympian. It didn't take the wisdom of Odysseus to realize the irony of a goddess who wanted to retire, but became a full goddess by default…
At any rate, with the restoration of Poseidon to his original position, Usagi would have to face the sea god on his own turf, although it was unfortunate that he still held a grudge against her for some reason.
"Now, Moon Princess," Poseidon said, as he rose above the water line, to reveal his gigantic, full god self while holding his customary trident. "I have you at last!"
Usagi barely avoided getting speared, as Poseidon slammed his trident down into the water.
'Ulp!' Usagi thought, as she got her bearings straight. Zeus had decided that he would only signed a non-aggressive compact with Usagi, if she happened make it to the top of Mt. Olympus. She was only to use her natural skills. What Zeus did not know, when he made his proclamation, was that her body had been enhanced over the years. So while she wasn't going to use her super powers, both mutate or magical, that didn't mean that she couldn't use her martial arts skills. Thankfully, Usagi had Ranma to help her prepare for this day.
Usagi quickly performed a water-based jutsu.
'Water Element: Twin Water Dragon Bullet!' Usagi thought, as she unleashed her attack.
"Eh?" Poseidon said, as two dragons made from water erupted from the surface of the water, roaring with power, and then crashing down on him. Usagi knew that the Sea God would dispel the attack, but she used it to by herself enough time to get closer to her first foe…
"Enough!" Poseidon said, as he speared the water dragons. He then sensed movement to his rear…
"You don't think I would be so easily distracted, eh?" Poseidon sneered, as he whirls around to slash Usagi, as she leaps off a water spout that she created. However, upon contact, the intended target suddenly broke up into water.
"What-?"
Suddenly, a shark made from water leaps up into the air, this time with Usagi on it.
"Surf's up!" Usagi yelled, as she leaps off the water shark, and performs a solid flying kick to Poseidon's jaw.
"Arrgh-!" Poseidon yelled, as he fell back down into the water.
"Be seeing you," Usagi said, as she dives back into the water, and then swims to the base of Mt. Olympus. She used a bit of Force to propel her faster to shore.
"Whew," Usagi said, as she crawled up to the rocks, and into the foliage. "I'm glad that's over-"
Usagi's danger senses rang out, just as an arrow nearly skewered her face.
"What?" Usagi said, as she caught the arrow with ease. It was a simple trick that all top martial artists knew. In fact, even mundane martial artists, like the Shaolin monks, could catch flying projectiles, by sensing the displacement of the air and so forth.
Usagi then turns to face the goddess Artemis, Lady of the Hunt, as she notches another arrow while commanding her hunting dogs to tackle her.
"While I loathe doing this, cousin and great-aunt, I do this on the command of Zeus, the Lord of Olympus," Artemis said, as she fired off a volley of arrows.
"Yikes!" Usagi said, as she took off running, with arrows and dogs at her back. Technically, she was the mother of Eos, Helios and Selene, which made Usagi her own ancestress. She already knew that she was related to the Olympians, but still, who knew that by being stuck in the distant past, and randomly choosing the name "Theia" as an alias would result in marrying Hyperion the Titan, and thus spawning her family tree? That's why, as a time traveler, it was important to know history by rote, so that such mistakes did not happen…
Usagi ran around the area until she caught as many arrows as she possible could. She turned around, inhaled, and used the "Golden Haired Lion King Roar Technique", which enhanced her tendency to cry at the most nonsensical time. But one thing is clear: the technique rivaled the Black Canary's "Sonic Scream".
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-!" Usagi screamed, as a concussive wave of sound blanketed her line of sight.
As the remaining volley of arrows shattered in mid-air, the hunting dogs and their mistress were knocked out of their respective focus.
"By Lord Zeus!" Artemis said, as she covered her ears. "Such a sound can humble the Sirens!"
Taking a cue of what her actions have caused, Usagi immediately began to scale the mountain side in quick succession, only to run against Borias, the God of the North Wind.
"Not today, little goddess," Borias said, as he flapped his wings, so that he may hover close to Usagi. He then exhaled a freezing breath, one that could instantly render a living creature solid.
"C-c-c-c-cold!" Usagi said, as she performed her next jutsu single-handed, the "Fire Release Jutsu", while holding onto the side of the cliff. She then placed her fingers next to her lips, inhaled, and expelled a giant ball of flame from her mouth.
"Whoa!" Borias yelled, as he was forced to turn away, lest he be engulfed by the flames.
Usagi continued her climb to the top of Mt. Olympus, only to run into Apollo, whose domain included the Sun.
"You will find that my fire is greater than yours, Theia, or whatever name you go by these days," Apollo said with glowing eyes, as he lowered himself through the clouds. He then extends his hands, and unleashed the full power of the Sun on Usagi.
"Yowtch!" Usagi grimaced, as she was baked. "Her body was tough enough to take on a lot of things, but without the use of her powers, her ability to withstand this latest attack was limited. So, she did something about it.
"Okay," Usagi said, as he performed her single-handed justsu, then time, she was going to utilize the Earth Release Jutsu known as "Hand of the Earth". As soon as Usagi completed her jutsu, she palmed the surface of the side of the cliff, and a hand made from stone pops out.
"What is this-?" Apollo said, as she giant, stone hand forms into a fist. The fist then attempts to connect with Apollo, but the Sun god moves out of the way, only to get a "tagged" by a flying Rasengan into the chest, sending Apollo spiraling away.
"Ouch-!" Apollo yelled, as he was forced out of the area.
"Heh," Usagi said, as she made her climb to the top, only to be met by an army of centaurs, Cyclops, Minotaurs, and the gorgon-like lamias (women with snake hair and snake lower torsos). Unlike the Gorgon line of Medusa, lamias did not have the stone stare.
"You can't get past us, Moon Princess!" sneered one of the centaurs. "End of the line."
"You know, I'm glad I kept these, then," Usagi said, as she brought out her stack of arrows, the ones she had collected from Artemis' attempts to stop her progress.
"Arrows? You don't even have a bow."
"Don't need to, if you know the key pressure points of your foes," Usagi said, as she suddenly threw the arrows at her foes. With the first wave down, but otherwise unharmed, Usagi got into a fighting stance.
"Ready?" Usagi asked coyly.
"Get her!" yelled a Cyclops, as the remaining horde leapt at her.
Usagi closed her eyes a bit, and remembered some of her lessons in the use of the Gentle Fist. These martial arts are normally exclusively the domain of the Hyuga clan, who uses it to perfection in tandem with their mastery over the bloodline trait known as the Byakugan. The Byakugan is a bloodline trait that allows the Hyuga clan member to see in nearly all directions without the need to face at a single direct for effective combat. This is also while "seeing" the energy signature of the object or person in the line of "sight" of the Hyuga clan member, so that the practitioner can neutralize the obstacle that more effectively. True masters are known to use the Gentle Fist and the Byakugan in tandem to slay giants or shatter mountains, which is why both the art and the bloodline trait are closely held secrets. Only the elders and clan leader can grant a non-Hyuga permission to use the Gentle Fist. In Usagi's case, both she and Ranma know the Gentle Fist since one of their dearest and closest friend, Hiashi Hyuga, is the head of the Hyuga clan. That and the fact that the Hyuga clan and Usagi and Ranma's Rantsu clan were linked by blood ties…
Nevertheless, even without the use of the Byakugan, Usagi utilized the Gentle Fist to fend off multiple foes.
"One," Usagi said, as she struck the first and second foes.
"Two," Usagi said, as she performed a roundhouse kick. Four more foes fell.
"Three…and four…"
Without moving out of a tight circle, Usagi struck her opponents hard and fast. For every action, the number of strikes doubled, until, after sixth action, Usagi had fell sixty-four foes.
"Whew," Usagi said, as she looks around the scattered the bodies. All of them were stunned, but were alive.
"Now, to see Zeus…"
As soon as Usagi arrived at the steps of the main palace, she was greeted by a lightning strike.
"Ah!" Usagi said, as she barely held the divine lightning bolt in place.
"I will not be dictated to by you, Moon Princess," Zeus said, as he continued to pour the divine lighting into Usagi's hand. Luckily for Usagi, she knew how to wield the lightning, either by way of the Chidori or by way of Force lightning control…
Still, it does hurt.
"Zeus will NOT sign your document," Hera said, as she stood nearby and watched.
"Oh, but you will," Usagi said, as she took out her book. She then flipped the book open with one hand.
"What are you doing?" Zeus commanded.
"I'm about to read some poetry, brought to you by the Vogons."
"Eh?"
Minutes later, Zeus and Hera were on their knees.
"Please, stop!" Zeus said.
"Yes, we beech you, auntie!" Hera said. "No more!"
Usagi looks up, and smiles. Vogon poetry was so bad that one would be willing to gnaw off a foot, if they could never have to hear such wretched nonsense ever again.
"Will you sign the document agreement?" Usagi asked.
"Um, well…"
"Okay, then, here we go…again…"
Usagi cleared her throat.
"'Oh freddled gruntbuggly, thy micturations are to me'," Usagi said, as she read the text in the book. "'As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee. Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes. And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles, or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't'!"
"Okay, okay!" Zeus yelled. "I'll arrange a meeting between my people at the Olympus Group and your people. Please, no more…"
"So, I earned your respect, Lord Zeus?"
"Aye, that you have."
"Good," Usagi said, as she closed her book. "I'm glad that we are in agreement."
"From what blackest pit did you get that book?" Hera asked.
"From my days of hitch-hiking throughout the galaxy," Usagi said, as she tucks the book away. She then looks up at the skies…
"SHAZAM!"
A lightning bolt strikes Usagi, turning her back to Sailor Shazam Moon, the World's Mightiest Magical Girl, and co-guardian of the Rock of Eternity, the center of Time and Space, and the prison of both the Seven Deadly Sins and the Three Faces of Evil. As such, Sailor Shazam Moon possess the power of the magical spell, created by an ancient wizard, and empowered by the legendary figures Solomon, Hercules, Atlas, Zeus, Achilles and Mercury. With these abilities, Sailor Shazam Moon fights to protect the weak and helpless, while crushing evil wherever she finds it.
And she was having fun while doing it is a plus, of course.
"See you Monday," Sailor Shazam Moon said, as she took off, souring pass the gryphons and pegasuses that flew about the place.
"You think it was a wise thing to test her like that?" Hera asked.
"Considering what she did to us, I say the future is well protected," Zeus said with a chuckle.
"Humph."
Fin.