Misery
*Takes place immediately after Normal Again*
"Hey, Buffster." Xander groaned as he sat down on the couch beside Buffy, "How's the antidote?"
Buffy lifted a corner of her mouth, "Generally disgusting. How's your, uh, body?"
"Regularly masculine and dead." Xander managed a small smile.
Buffy bit her lip and put a hand gently on his shoulder, "I'm really sorry, Xan. I- It was hard. Choosing, I mean. Between the two realities."
"Yeah. Between sanity and insanity, that must have been a big bumbler."
"It wasn't like that. The way it was... this was all in my head. In my insanity."
"So...do you still think that you're insane?"
"Maybe. But I've accepted that. I accepted that a long time ago," Buffy laughed dryly, then gave Xander a concerned look, "Are you sure that you're still okay?"
Xander put a friendly arm around Buffy, trying not to wince, "I'm okey dokey, Buff. Don't worry. Everybody has crazy moments."
Buffy watched him as his eyes grew far away.
Everyone has got crazy moments, she looked away. He must be thinking about Anya.
*FLASH*
"I love you, Buffy."
*FLASH*
"I'm done being your whipping boy."
*FLASH*
"If you're not going to really be here with me, I don't want you here at all."
*FLASH*
"I'm sorry, William."
*FLASH*
"If you won't tell them about us, I will."
*FLASH*
"Yeah. Crazy moments." Buffy murmured as Xander walked back into the kitchen.
"He said I'm addicted to misery. I am not addicted to misery. I can even get away from it sometimes. But it always seems to find..." Buffy trailed, her eyes sweeping the room, "Misery, oh misery..." she began to croon.
*Not this again!*
"What haven't you done to me?
I was once a young girl full of dreams
But now that you're here
They're ripped away at the seams..."
Buffy didn't notice that Willow, Tara, Xander and Dawn were watching her from the doorway. She stood and ran her fingers through her hair.
"Misery,
Oh misery....
What haven't you done to me?
My heart's been broken
Too many times
So many words unspoken
That need to be spoken sometimes...
Misery...
Oh
Misery......
What will you do to me?
Will you kill me softly?
Or never make it go away?
Misery
I invited you here
A long time ago
But I think you've done enough
It's time for you to go.
Oh, misery.
You speak to me every day
And now it's like I don't have any
of my own words to say
Only of
Misery
Are you done with me yet?
Misery
So that I can forget
All the times I've cried
And forget
The times I'd thought you'd finally died
Please
Misery,
Leave me alone.
Oh misery,
Find a new home.
I've been told too many times
To quit the phoney act
To get on with my life
To forget about you
And every time you ever clenched the knife......
Misery
I'm sorry
but it's time to say goodbye
Oh Misery
You'll never make me cry
Again
Please Misery
It's about time I didn't have to lie....
Again"
Buffy closed her eyes and smiled.
"Oh misery......
Goodbye."
Dawn had tears in her eyes as Buffy opened her own. When she took in the sight of her friends staring at her, she bit her lip and looked down.
"It was something I had to do." Buffy looked sheepish.
"It was beautiful. I could feel the cleansing of your aura, Buffy." Tara said warmly, earning a sweet smile from Willow.
Buffy smiled, "Thanks."
"Does this mean that you're going to try and get out of your, uh, misery?" Dawn looked at her sister hopefully.
Buffy put an arm around Dawn, "Yeah. I think I'm going to have to turn over a new leaf. Try and get happier. Cause, you know, tomorrow you might be dead." Buffy winked at Willow, "So you might as well grab the happiness while you have the ability, right?"
"Right." Xander said, "And I think I have a search to make. I need to find my fiancee."
"Do that. And I can find my new me. And then we can all be happy tog-Wait. I have to tell you all something. Something pretty important. Something that is very, very over. But you need to find out from me."
"What is it, Buff?" Willow asked as she poured her friend a glass of water.
"I've been...I was...for a few months I was involved with somebody."
"WHAT?" Xander nearly spat out his orange juice, and Dawn was looking suspicious, "Do we know him?"
"Kinda sorta yeah." Buffy bit her lip. It was beginning to feel raw from the amount of times she had done this.
"Who? Is it somebody from the Doublemeat?" Willow was looking pensive.
"No. It's..." Buffy looked at Tara for support, but Tara wasn't ready to help, obviously trying to act interested but surprised.
"It's Spike." Buffy blurted out.
The room was silent as the gang took in the news.
"You've been sleeping with a vampire again? Didn't you learn the first time?" Xander wiped sweat from his brow.
"I guess I didn't." Buffy sat down on a stool, "But you guys needed to know. It's not still... we've broken it off. I broke it off. But...um... yeah. That's what I've been hiding for a while."
"Interesting. So, how many fights have you gotten in?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, the patrolling time must have gone down considerably, if you're uh, too busy roughing up with the uh, punching bag." Willow stuttered, and Buffy laughed.
"Actually the vamp count has been down lately, but I think that's just because Italian food with major garlic has been more popular lately around here."
"Yay for pizza and spaghetti." Dawn smiled.
"Speaking of, is anybody hungry? Beating you guys up gave me a sort of rumbling in my tummy."
Buffy smiled at her friends apologetically, and took one last look at her surroundings before she would start her new life. That included happiness.
FIN
*A/N: Reviews are appreciated very much. :). If you want to know who wrote that song...it was the one and only....
Drum roll please....
ME!!! Meaning, if you want to use the story or the song, you absolutely, positively, MUST ask me in advance. Thanks a lot. PS, and the song was inspired by Pink's song Misery, sang with Steve Tyler of Aerosmith. Luv ya'll!