Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers, anything affiliated with it, blah blah
blah etc. C'mon, you didn't REALLY think I owned them did you?
Warning: There is absolutely NO BASHING OF ANY CHARACTER IN THIS. If you dislike Lina, Gourry, Zelgadis, or Ameria then stop reading right now.
Summary: From a character's POV. They remember a love they lost in battle... (sucky summary, I know, but I can't give anything else away or it screws it up)
~ In Remembrance of You ~
Those two are so good together. They never admitted it, but we could tell they loved each other. All the little things they did - the stolen glances, little touches, blushes.
We were like that too. I remember her - she was always like that. So vibrant, so energetic, so... her. That day... she told me 'you're always saving me, now it's my turn to repay the favor.' She was right, I know I was always treating her as a damsel in distress, as my china doll. She was her own person. But... why then? Her life force was snuffed out, as it had never existed. Such a vibrant creature - gone in an instant. She was dead even before I got there. Oh, but I avenged her. I charged ahead of them, possessed, and slay the beast that took her from me. The beast was gone - but... I'd give anything for her to be here. Even have the beast back, despite how he would have destroyed everything. Is that so selfish of me? To wish for just us, just her and me together, or even so I could have been there, could have been what she saw when she died, could have told her my feelings. But instead, she died looking at the beast, disappeared in an instant, left without knowing.
Those two down there, they're so happy. After she died, they realized just how short life was, and how useless it was to waste their time hiding. They're to be wed in a few days. I suppose I should be happy for them, shouldn't I? They will be together until they're dying days - such a fairy tale.
But... is it selfish of me, my love, to wish that were us? Let him live without her. Let us to be married in a few short days. Let us spend our lives together. Let us rejoice in our happiness while we watch our grandchildren play.
You would think me foolish, wouldn't you? They deserve this; I deserve what I got. It's my fault you didn't know; you died because of me. My love, what you received... I wish it had been me. Did you love me? Yes... I believe so. No friend would have done that. Would I have wished, what I am wishing now, for you to live with the pain of the knowledge that the person you love is dead because of you? No, my love, I do not wish that on you.
They are motioning to me. Ever since that day they have kept me by them like I was a baby. They pity me, I suppose. They miss her too, though. Perhaps they see a little of her in me. I wish they would point it out, I need to feel her close somehow.
I think, also, they fear for me. They worry about what I would do if I were alone for too long. They don't realize, though, how much it kills me to see them together. Not her and I - them. I need a mourning period, and to be alone. But... you don't tell those two you need "me" time. I sigh, trekking down the hill to them. They think I will kill myself if they leave me. In some way, I would. But... she wouldn't want me to do that, I know. I keep alive not for them, not for me, but for her.
~~~
I watched him. Poor guy, he really loved her. I don't know what I'd do without... I turned to her, squeezing her hand. She feels the same way about me I just know it. We have that way of knowing each other's thoughts.
I wonder why she won't let him be by himself. The guy's gotta be pretty sad. She keeps saying that if we leave him we may never see him alive again. I wonder why she says that. It must be pretty hard for him to watch us. I know that if I ever lost her I'd be anti in-love people. She never believes me when I say this, I think she's just afraid of loosing the last living thing we have that connects us to her.
We talk to him for a little while, then leave to go to the tavern. He goes to his room 'cause he's tired (he's always tired lately); we go to the dining place to eat.
"Y'know, maybe we should leave him alone for a few days."
She pauses from her food, looking at me, "Why?"
"He just seems so sad."
"That's why we shouldn't leave him alone."
"But maybe he shouldn't come to the wedding. That's gotta be hard on him."
"But he's your best man!"
"I know, but we gotta think 'bout his feelings."
"No, he has to be there. It'll be good for him, you'll see."
"I guess..."
"Now give me that steak!"
She lunged for the meat in my hand and we began our nightly ritual. I wonder if she can cook...
~~~
I reach over to the candle by my bed, taking in a short breath and exhaling, blowing out the flame. In the darkness I sit, looking at my hands. These times were always best for me, I could be here and remember our times together, remember her face, her voice, her everything... When I was with the other two I never could focus on anything other than 'why wasn't it me?' or 'why wasn't it them?' I think, deep down, he realizes this, he can see it. She is oblivious to matters of the heart, she always has been.
I sigh, leaning back and falling onto the soft down. Sometimes, in the dark quiet moments like these, I wonder what would have happened if she had lived. Would we have confessed our feelings and joined together like them...? No... I think not... while we both loved each other, neither of us could admit it. Actually, I couldn't admit it. My cold ways with her always shot her down before she spoke... in some ways, her dying was good. Not for me, but for them. It made them realize their love for one another. Not that I'm exactly glad they did...
In and out of consciousness I drift, my eyes barely staying open. I was never so tired before all this, but... in my dreams I still see her. We walk together, we're alone, and we are not ashamed anymore. Every day I look forward to my dreams... and her...
~~~
The bright, colorful world shines before him. The lush greens, blues, violets, deep browns, glowing whites... they stand out beautifully. And in all this, his eyes drift to one thing, one body stands out before everything else. His eyes remain transfixed on the body as he walks forward unknowingly, drawn to it.
She is as she had been before any of that had happened. Smiling, radiant, brighter than any other colors and hues there. She laughs at him, holding her outstretched hands to him. They stand, wordless before each other, and then - they are in each other's arms, embracing and neither one every wanting to let go.
"I've missed you..." he speaks, pressing his face into her soft ebony hair.
"I know, but we're here now, that's what matters!" Even now she is optimistic, even when she has no reason to, and not for him or her, but for the world.
"How long has it been, two days?"
"I don't know," she pulls back from him, smiling, "That doesn't matter, I'm just glad you're here now. How are they?"
He sighs, raising a hand to cup her chin delicately, "Them? Same as always, they refuse to let me out of their site..." he turns his gaze past her shoulder, studying the tree behind her. "They miss you, more than they want to admit..."
"I know, I miss them too. But we'll all be together some day, you know. Time doesn't seem so slow here, to me it feels like you're all going to be here in only a few days!" She turns, bringing her hand to grasp his, and gazes up at the tree, "I know it's hard for you, but... you're strong! You can make it."
A shrug, and he steps behind her, pulling her closer to him, "You're right, but, it's just..."
"Hard?"
"Yes..."
"I know, but you should enjoy your life while you still can. I always tried to live like it was my last day on earth."
He closed his eyes, laying his chin lightly on the top of her head, "Don't you wish that had never happened...? You seem so... non-chalant about it, but, I know..."
"Of course. I wish every second that I was still with the gang. But it's done; none of us can change it. I'm content just to spend this time with you now..." she pauses, waiting for some response from him, but lowers her gaze as he remains silent, "Have you found - "
"No, lets not talk about that." His eyes open to slits and he raises a hand, studying the radiate peach color, "Some day, though..." he lowers his hand again, pulling her closer, "I..."
"Need to go? I understand... you know, he doesn't think you should be in the wedding, because he's afraid it hurts too much... be in it, for me? I know it would mean a lot to them. If they ask you, would you?"
"Do you want me to...? Yes, then." He releases his hold on her, stepping around to face her, "For you, I'll be there." A sad smile and he cups her cheeks, looking into her eyes, "Tomorrow, then?"
"Yes... and be sure to tell me everything about it."
~~~
I awake to the sound of birds chirping outside my window. And, the feeling of being shaken violently. I sigh and open my eyes to the sight of a shock of yellow hair, "Yes?"
The hair moves and the shaking stops. He roughly slams his hand against my shoulder then takes a step back, "Oi, we're gonna go eat, you gonna come?"
Sighing, I push myself up into a sitting position, not noticing the tap he gives me. Food...? Do I want food right now? I look at him, then lower my eyes. It hurts, to look at either of them. I can see the love they have for each other... and the pity they have for me. It radiates, calling out to me. I can't stand them sometimes, but she... "Maybe later..."
"Well, ok. But you might wanna come soon 'cause she says she's really hungry."
"She's always really hungry..."
"No, she always hungry." he smiles, walking to the door, "There's a difference." Nodding to me, he slips out, shutting the door behind him. I sigh again and shove the covers off, then swing my legs over the bed and stand. He was right, hungry for her meant 'eat almost everything they have.' Really hungry meant 'eat everything and the crumbs.'
Perhaps I will get something to eat... or at least some coffee. I dress slowly, feeling no rush. I rarely am hungry, and neither of them drinks everything. Just eat. Swishing the cape to cover my body, I step out of the room, walking down the hall and down the stairs. Already the sound of them eating sends repulsing shivers throughout my body. He pauses, seeing me emerge from the depths of the shadows.
"Oi, look, he showed up." She barely takes notice, except to nod to me then grab the sausage from his plate. "Oi! Stop it, that's mine!" He lunges for his lost sausage, failing as it enters her mouth. I shake my head and walk over to a chair a few tables away from them, taking my seat. The horrified customers stare at the two, some standing up and leaving. The waiter comes to me and I order - one large coffee, black. He nods and retreats. Not long ago she joined in with them. She was one of the less vigorous in the food olympics, but she could hold her own enough to get something to eat. Traveling with them meant when you wanted to eat you had to fight for a table scrap.
The waiter returns with my coffee and I give him a couple of coins, then retreat to the comfort of my drink. As I near the end of the liquid, the noise stops abruptly, followed by a rather loud belch. My gaze travels to their table, sighing as I see that they have successfully eaten every food, scrap, and crumb in the place. They stand and walk over to me, sitting on either side. She casts him a meaningful glance, then looks to me.
"Say, we were thinking... You know, the wedding is in a few days," she blushes at this, "and you're,"
"My best man. And we were thinking that, y'know, it's gotta be kinda hard on you,"
She glares at him, angry that he interrupted her, "So, we were thinking that you don't have to come -"
"We want you to! But, if ya don't wanna - "
Twitching, she stands a little, her glare intensifying, "You don't have to."
I shake my head, finishing my coffee, "I know. I'll come, it's ok."
She looked at me, "You sure?"
"Positive."
They look at each other, then back at me, then smile, "Great!" They chime in unison and leave the table, exiting the tavern. I sink back into my chair, lowering my gaze to my empty cup. They wanted me to come, all of them, even her... I would have gone anyways, they are my sole friends in this world... but her saying it meant something to her that I do made it that much easier. I lift my head, staring at the wood paneling surrounding the room. She is gone, she won't return, but she's right... you should live every day like it was your last, even if you are sad, even if you feel like everything is over, even in your darkest hour, you should live like you only had a few hours to live. She always did and I fell in love with her for it.
I stand and walk to the door, pushing it open and waving to them down the street. The pause, wave back, and I run to stand next to them. Even if she is gone, I still have my friends, and she is also right... we all will be together again... some day.
~~~
Fin
Warning: There is absolutely NO BASHING OF ANY CHARACTER IN THIS. If you dislike Lina, Gourry, Zelgadis, or Ameria then stop reading right now.
Summary: From a character's POV. They remember a love they lost in battle... (sucky summary, I know, but I can't give anything else away or it screws it up)
~ In Remembrance of You ~
Those two are so good together. They never admitted it, but we could tell they loved each other. All the little things they did - the stolen glances, little touches, blushes.
We were like that too. I remember her - she was always like that. So vibrant, so energetic, so... her. That day... she told me 'you're always saving me, now it's my turn to repay the favor.' She was right, I know I was always treating her as a damsel in distress, as my china doll. She was her own person. But... why then? Her life force was snuffed out, as it had never existed. Such a vibrant creature - gone in an instant. She was dead even before I got there. Oh, but I avenged her. I charged ahead of them, possessed, and slay the beast that took her from me. The beast was gone - but... I'd give anything for her to be here. Even have the beast back, despite how he would have destroyed everything. Is that so selfish of me? To wish for just us, just her and me together, or even so I could have been there, could have been what she saw when she died, could have told her my feelings. But instead, she died looking at the beast, disappeared in an instant, left without knowing.
Those two down there, they're so happy. After she died, they realized just how short life was, and how useless it was to waste their time hiding. They're to be wed in a few days. I suppose I should be happy for them, shouldn't I? They will be together until they're dying days - such a fairy tale.
But... is it selfish of me, my love, to wish that were us? Let him live without her. Let us to be married in a few short days. Let us spend our lives together. Let us rejoice in our happiness while we watch our grandchildren play.
You would think me foolish, wouldn't you? They deserve this; I deserve what I got. It's my fault you didn't know; you died because of me. My love, what you received... I wish it had been me. Did you love me? Yes... I believe so. No friend would have done that. Would I have wished, what I am wishing now, for you to live with the pain of the knowledge that the person you love is dead because of you? No, my love, I do not wish that on you.
They are motioning to me. Ever since that day they have kept me by them like I was a baby. They pity me, I suppose. They miss her too, though. Perhaps they see a little of her in me. I wish they would point it out, I need to feel her close somehow.
I think, also, they fear for me. They worry about what I would do if I were alone for too long. They don't realize, though, how much it kills me to see them together. Not her and I - them. I need a mourning period, and to be alone. But... you don't tell those two you need "me" time. I sigh, trekking down the hill to them. They think I will kill myself if they leave me. In some way, I would. But... she wouldn't want me to do that, I know. I keep alive not for them, not for me, but for her.
~~~
I watched him. Poor guy, he really loved her. I don't know what I'd do without... I turned to her, squeezing her hand. She feels the same way about me I just know it. We have that way of knowing each other's thoughts.
I wonder why she won't let him be by himself. The guy's gotta be pretty sad. She keeps saying that if we leave him we may never see him alive again. I wonder why she says that. It must be pretty hard for him to watch us. I know that if I ever lost her I'd be anti in-love people. She never believes me when I say this, I think she's just afraid of loosing the last living thing we have that connects us to her.
We talk to him for a little while, then leave to go to the tavern. He goes to his room 'cause he's tired (he's always tired lately); we go to the dining place to eat.
"Y'know, maybe we should leave him alone for a few days."
She pauses from her food, looking at me, "Why?"
"He just seems so sad."
"That's why we shouldn't leave him alone."
"But maybe he shouldn't come to the wedding. That's gotta be hard on him."
"But he's your best man!"
"I know, but we gotta think 'bout his feelings."
"No, he has to be there. It'll be good for him, you'll see."
"I guess..."
"Now give me that steak!"
She lunged for the meat in my hand and we began our nightly ritual. I wonder if she can cook...
~~~
I reach over to the candle by my bed, taking in a short breath and exhaling, blowing out the flame. In the darkness I sit, looking at my hands. These times were always best for me, I could be here and remember our times together, remember her face, her voice, her everything... When I was with the other two I never could focus on anything other than 'why wasn't it me?' or 'why wasn't it them?' I think, deep down, he realizes this, he can see it. She is oblivious to matters of the heart, she always has been.
I sigh, leaning back and falling onto the soft down. Sometimes, in the dark quiet moments like these, I wonder what would have happened if she had lived. Would we have confessed our feelings and joined together like them...? No... I think not... while we both loved each other, neither of us could admit it. Actually, I couldn't admit it. My cold ways with her always shot her down before she spoke... in some ways, her dying was good. Not for me, but for them. It made them realize their love for one another. Not that I'm exactly glad they did...
In and out of consciousness I drift, my eyes barely staying open. I was never so tired before all this, but... in my dreams I still see her. We walk together, we're alone, and we are not ashamed anymore. Every day I look forward to my dreams... and her...
~~~
The bright, colorful world shines before him. The lush greens, blues, violets, deep browns, glowing whites... they stand out beautifully. And in all this, his eyes drift to one thing, one body stands out before everything else. His eyes remain transfixed on the body as he walks forward unknowingly, drawn to it.
She is as she had been before any of that had happened. Smiling, radiant, brighter than any other colors and hues there. She laughs at him, holding her outstretched hands to him. They stand, wordless before each other, and then - they are in each other's arms, embracing and neither one every wanting to let go.
"I've missed you..." he speaks, pressing his face into her soft ebony hair.
"I know, but we're here now, that's what matters!" Even now she is optimistic, even when she has no reason to, and not for him or her, but for the world.
"How long has it been, two days?"
"I don't know," she pulls back from him, smiling, "That doesn't matter, I'm just glad you're here now. How are they?"
He sighs, raising a hand to cup her chin delicately, "Them? Same as always, they refuse to let me out of their site..." he turns his gaze past her shoulder, studying the tree behind her. "They miss you, more than they want to admit..."
"I know, I miss them too. But we'll all be together some day, you know. Time doesn't seem so slow here, to me it feels like you're all going to be here in only a few days!" She turns, bringing her hand to grasp his, and gazes up at the tree, "I know it's hard for you, but... you're strong! You can make it."
A shrug, and he steps behind her, pulling her closer to him, "You're right, but, it's just..."
"Hard?"
"Yes..."
"I know, but you should enjoy your life while you still can. I always tried to live like it was my last day on earth."
He closed his eyes, laying his chin lightly on the top of her head, "Don't you wish that had never happened...? You seem so... non-chalant about it, but, I know..."
"Of course. I wish every second that I was still with the gang. But it's done; none of us can change it. I'm content just to spend this time with you now..." she pauses, waiting for some response from him, but lowers her gaze as he remains silent, "Have you found - "
"No, lets not talk about that." His eyes open to slits and he raises a hand, studying the radiate peach color, "Some day, though..." he lowers his hand again, pulling her closer, "I..."
"Need to go? I understand... you know, he doesn't think you should be in the wedding, because he's afraid it hurts too much... be in it, for me? I know it would mean a lot to them. If they ask you, would you?"
"Do you want me to...? Yes, then." He releases his hold on her, stepping around to face her, "For you, I'll be there." A sad smile and he cups her cheeks, looking into her eyes, "Tomorrow, then?"
"Yes... and be sure to tell me everything about it."
~~~
I awake to the sound of birds chirping outside my window. And, the feeling of being shaken violently. I sigh and open my eyes to the sight of a shock of yellow hair, "Yes?"
The hair moves and the shaking stops. He roughly slams his hand against my shoulder then takes a step back, "Oi, we're gonna go eat, you gonna come?"
Sighing, I push myself up into a sitting position, not noticing the tap he gives me. Food...? Do I want food right now? I look at him, then lower my eyes. It hurts, to look at either of them. I can see the love they have for each other... and the pity they have for me. It radiates, calling out to me. I can't stand them sometimes, but she... "Maybe later..."
"Well, ok. But you might wanna come soon 'cause she says she's really hungry."
"She's always really hungry..."
"No, she always hungry." he smiles, walking to the door, "There's a difference." Nodding to me, he slips out, shutting the door behind him. I sigh again and shove the covers off, then swing my legs over the bed and stand. He was right, hungry for her meant 'eat almost everything they have.' Really hungry meant 'eat everything and the crumbs.'
Perhaps I will get something to eat... or at least some coffee. I dress slowly, feeling no rush. I rarely am hungry, and neither of them drinks everything. Just eat. Swishing the cape to cover my body, I step out of the room, walking down the hall and down the stairs. Already the sound of them eating sends repulsing shivers throughout my body. He pauses, seeing me emerge from the depths of the shadows.
"Oi, look, he showed up." She barely takes notice, except to nod to me then grab the sausage from his plate. "Oi! Stop it, that's mine!" He lunges for his lost sausage, failing as it enters her mouth. I shake my head and walk over to a chair a few tables away from them, taking my seat. The horrified customers stare at the two, some standing up and leaving. The waiter comes to me and I order - one large coffee, black. He nods and retreats. Not long ago she joined in with them. She was one of the less vigorous in the food olympics, but she could hold her own enough to get something to eat. Traveling with them meant when you wanted to eat you had to fight for a table scrap.
The waiter returns with my coffee and I give him a couple of coins, then retreat to the comfort of my drink. As I near the end of the liquid, the noise stops abruptly, followed by a rather loud belch. My gaze travels to their table, sighing as I see that they have successfully eaten every food, scrap, and crumb in the place. They stand and walk over to me, sitting on either side. She casts him a meaningful glance, then looks to me.
"Say, we were thinking... You know, the wedding is in a few days," she blushes at this, "and you're,"
"My best man. And we were thinking that, y'know, it's gotta be kinda hard on you,"
She glares at him, angry that he interrupted her, "So, we were thinking that you don't have to come -"
"We want you to! But, if ya don't wanna - "
Twitching, she stands a little, her glare intensifying, "You don't have to."
I shake my head, finishing my coffee, "I know. I'll come, it's ok."
She looked at me, "You sure?"
"Positive."
They look at each other, then back at me, then smile, "Great!" They chime in unison and leave the table, exiting the tavern. I sink back into my chair, lowering my gaze to my empty cup. They wanted me to come, all of them, even her... I would have gone anyways, they are my sole friends in this world... but her saying it meant something to her that I do made it that much easier. I lift my head, staring at the wood paneling surrounding the room. She is gone, she won't return, but she's right... you should live every day like it was your last, even if you are sad, even if you feel like everything is over, even in your darkest hour, you should live like you only had a few hours to live. She always did and I fell in love with her for it.
I stand and walk to the door, pushing it open and waving to them down the street. The pause, wave back, and I run to stand next to them. Even if she is gone, I still have my friends, and she is also right... we all will be together again... some day.
~~~
Fin