A Good Man

Author's Note

Convincing Alistair to participate in the ritual with Morrigan was an emotional and well done scene, but I felt it lacked a little something when a female human noble warden who was in love with him was doing it. This is not a criticism of Bioware, as I understand all too well the constraints they were under. This is merely my own interpretation. Everything belongs to geniuses at Bioware.

Elissa Cousland was hurting. What the Warden, Riordan, had told her about slaying the archdemon had broken her heart.

One way or another, either her or Alistair were going to die. Oh sure, it was possible that Riordan might be the one to make the sacrifice. She could only hope, and hate herself for wishing it were him. Riordan did not deserve to be dismissed so lightly by her, but Maker forgive, she couldn't help herself. While Riordan was an accomplished soldier she knew deep down that Riordan would not be the one to kill the fell beast that lead the Blight.

She loved Alistair and she just couldn't let him go. After Rendon Howe had murdered her family and she believed her brother dead at Ostagar, she'd had no one left until she met Alistair. Dear, sweet Alistair, always cracking a joke, trying to make everyone smile in circumstances that should have had everyone in tears or running in terror. Bashful and inexperienced too. It was endearing. After what seemed like an eternity of misery after Howe's betrayal, he had been there for her.

Fergus had, at least, survived Ostagar but in those terrible days just after the battle, she was alone. Until she had won Alistair's good heart.

And now, either he was going to die, leaving her alone and broken, or she was going to die before she got the chance to see what their lives would've been like. What living with him in the royal palace would be like, or what their children would be like.

She trudged down the hallway of Redcliffe castle towards her room and she remembered Wynne's words. She'd resisted Wynne's urging to not get involved with anyone due to the danger of what they were doing. Now, her worst nightmare had come to terrifying life, and the older woman's warning was like ashes in her mouth.

"Maker, please," she muttered. "Don't take him from me. I can't go through this loss. Not again."

Elissa pushed door open to her room. Her senses screamed a warning to her.

Elissa was, unknown to the Chantry, gifted with a very weak magical talent. So weak, in fact, that it had gone unnoticed, even by herself, for almost her entire life. The talent granted no impressive skills of magic, only an unusually keen ability to read a person's character. She could see the truth of things where others did not. It was one of the reasons she fell so hard and fast for Alistair, as her talent gave her clear picture of who he was. Her talent was so weak that there was no way even a templar could sense it and, even if he did, she was unlikely to be whisked away to the Circle. Still, she considered it best to not take any chances and had kept her talent's existence to herself. She suspected mother had caught on at some point, but she'd never mentioned it.

Her talent did react to mages though. She could…feel…a mage's power and aura, even without making direct eye contact. It was not unlike how she could hear the darkspawn through the taint, albeit much weaker.

As she opened the bedroom door, her senses showed her an image of something, mostly unseen shrouded by fog, but massive all the same. Like a massive ship concealed by the darkness and fog, dimly perceived. She went for her sword.

"Do not be alarmed, it is only I," Morrigan said.

"Morrigan? Why are you here? Are you alright?" Elissa asked. She understood the image now. Morrigan might've been an arrogant bitch, but her arrogance was not unfounded. The woman had a towering reserve of magical power, making her every bit as dangerous as she claimed.

"I am well, Elissa. It is you who are in danger," Morrigan turned and walked towards Elissa. "I know what happens when the archdemon dies. I know that a Grey Warden must be sacrificed, and that that sacrifice could be you. Or Alistair."

Elissa clenched her teeth and failed to contain an escaping tear.

"I have come to tell you that this need not be. I come to offer a way out, so that a Grey Warden need not be sacrificed."

Elissa's heart spasmed. If there was a way, any way, she could save Alistair she knew she'd do it, regardless of what Morrigan asked. It was a frightening thought, considering who she was dealing with.

"What must I do?" Elissa asked.

"A ritual…performed on the eve of battle, in the dark of night," Morrigan replied. "This is old magic, ancient magic. A ritual from a time long before the Circle of Magi was ever created."

"I will do whatever is required," Elissa said.

"This ritual doesn't actually require you to do anything, not directly at least," Morrigan said. "What I propose is this: convince Alistair to lay with me tonight. From this ritual, a child will be conceived within me. The child will bear the taint and when the archdemon is slain its essence will seek the child, like a beacon. At this early stage, the child can absorb that essence and not perish. The archdemon is still destroyed, and no Grey Warden is sacrificed."

Elissa could not believe what she had just heard. "The child would be a darkspawn then?"

"Not at all," Morrigan smiled. "The ritual will cleanse the essence of its taint, and the child will be born with the soul of an old god. I suspect Flemeth intended this all along, so that she might, in time, possess a body with one of the old gods' souls. There is no telling how powerful she might've become. In any case, once this is done, you let me walk away and you don't try to follow me. Ever."

Elissa was frightened. The magical forces Morrigan was so cavalierly willing to manipulate were of the sort that could literally destroy worlds. It was wrong to bring a life into the world to be used as a pawn for whatever scheme Morrigan was planning. Elissa knew this in her very soul but, and Maker forgive, she didn't care right now. Even the thought of her Alistair having sex with another woman was distant an unimportant. All she could see was a way out of the nightmare.

"Maker forgive me," she muttered. She brushed a lock of her unruly red hair out of her eyes. "I will speak with him."

Elissa knocked at Alistair's door. The door opened to reveal the love of her life, still in his full armor.

"Elissa," he said. "I was just about to come by. And I saw Morrigan outside your room, and she gave me a look that was particularly icy. Even for her, I mean."

"Yes, that's what I'm here about," Elissa said.

"Hmm. I guess what she had to say was big then. That's what I get for becoming king, you know. Everyone always brings you the bad news. So what is it then? Rats running amok? Cheese supplies running low? I can take it."

Elissa stifled a sound that was half sob and half laugh. Even under these circumstances he was still making jokes, and she adored him for it. She put her arms around him and nuzzled his neck. "Alistair," Elissa said. "I love you…so much. You know that right?"

Alistair replied, "I love you too. But this is starting to sound ominous. What is it?"

"There is a way out. A way that a Grey Warden wouldn't have to die," Elissa whispered.

"I assume you're talking about the archdemon. If you mean running away, you know I can't do that," Alistair said with iron in his voice. Devotion to duty…another reason she loved him so. "But, you don't mean that, do you? What is this about?"

Elissa ended the embrace. "Morrigan has told me of a ritual, whereby a Warden could slay the archdemon without dying."

Alistair gave her a hard look. "Nothing with Morrigan is ever that easy. What does she want?"

Elissa sighed heavily. "In order for the ritual to work, you would need to…bed her tonight. A child will be conceived that will bear the taint, and the archdemon's essence will home in on the child when it is slain. Morrigan's magic will cleanse the archdemon's essence of the taint, and the child will be born with the soul of an old god."

Alistair stared, and then laughed. "Oh, I get it. This is payback for all those terrible jokes…" Elissa's eyes met his, and she knew he could see the pain in fear in her expression, and the sight made him stumble to a halt.

"Maker's breath, you're serious," he said. "I…no, I can't do this."

"Alistair," Elissa said. "Please."

"No. I will not be a party to this…this…madness. I will not give a child over to Morrigan's tender care, nor will I be unfaithful to you!"

"Alistair," Elissa wasn't trying to hold her tears back now. "Please, I want you to do this. You're not being unfaithful—"

"You are the first woman I've ever shared myself with," Alistair said. "I once told you that I wanted you to be the last, as well. I meant that."

Her talent showed her Alistair in her mind's eye. He was torn between his desire for Elissa to live, his duty, and his honor. That was her doing by bringing Morrigan's offer to him. She hated herself for it, but couldn't help it either.

Alistair started pacing. "This is wrong," there was granite hardness in his voice.

"Alistair, I CAN'T LOSE YOU," she sobbed. She went to him, and he gathered her in his arms.

"I can't," she said through the sobs. "I lost everything before I joined the Grey Wardens. I can't lose you. Please…do this for me."

"You do realize this is no guarantee. There is still plenty of opportunity for both us to die the old-fashioned way long before we ever reach the archdemon," he said.

"I know," Elissa replied. "At least this way there is hope."

Alistair released a weary sigh. "Alright. Maker forgive me."

"Maker forgive us both," Elissa said.

Elissa waited in Alistair's room, and prepared. He returned two hours later.

"It is done," he said flatly, entering the room. "I just hope it works. I'm going to turn in, long day—"

He stumbled to a halt as Elissa rose from the bed, clad in only a bath robe. "In the washroom, Alistair. We can't have the King of Ferelden embarking on a campaign unwashed," she said, motioning towards the wash room.

Alistair's expression betrayed his confusion. "I just washed this morning—"

She put a finger over his mouth to silence him. The hurt he had suffered in his soul was evident, and she was determined to not let it consume him. "We need to do this. What we've done here, what I've persuaded you into doing, goes against everything you are. I know that, and I am humbled you would do such for my sake. Still, this has injured you. You will…not be well for a time. You will recover, however. That recovery starts now. Now, into the washroom with you!"

The washroom contained a basin and a bath. Elissa had drawn hot bath water in preparation for this. She gently undressed Alistair then, dropping her bath robe, beckoned him into the hot bath.

The steaming hot water was a nearly sinful pleasure. Alistair, still looking bemused, sank down into the tub up to his neck, just taking it all in.

Elissa could still "feel" Morrigan's influence. Her magic was so powerful even Elissa's almost non-existent talent could detect the traces of Morrigan's workings. She could also faintly smell her perfume clinging to Alistair.

Well, she thought. We'll just have to do something about that, won't we?

She took a sponge and lathered it with soap, and began to gently bathe Alistair. She knew almost nothing of magic and had never investigated its theory, as doing such could conceivably draw attention. One thing she had worked out, however, is that intent was everything. And her intent wasn't merely to clean Alistair physically.

With every stroke of the sponge, the random magical energies left by Morrigan were washed away. As was Alistair's pain and shame. Well, some of it, at least. Elissa knew it would be a while before he was whole again, but the process was started. She took her time, going slow and being very thorough. Once she reached the more interesting parts of his body, he tensed a bit and started blushing.

"Just about lost it right there, didn't you?" she asked with mischief in her green eyes.

Alistair blushed even redder.

"Maker, you're so adorable when you're embarrassed. Interesting, though. It took you and Morrigan two hours, and here I have nearly undone you in moments. Was she really that bad?" Elissa asked.

Apparently relieved that she could joke about it, Alistair smiled. "Dreadful, my dear. Like a cold fish. I cried. Seriously, there were actual tears involved."

Elissa was overjoyed. The fact that he could still engage in his normal humorous banter was a good sign. She knew then and there that he'd be OK, eventually.

"This is all very difficult for you," she said. "You told me you wanted to be the last and only woman you ever shared yourself with."

Alistair looked down, away from her eyes.

"And I can still be that for you," Elissa said. She placed a delicate hand on his cheek, urging him to meet her eyes. "Morrigan got what she needed for the ritual. She didn't get you, or your heart. That is mine, and mine alone. And I am thine, never forget that."

Alistair teared up a bit. "I don't know what I did to have a woman like you in my life. I don't deserve you."

Elissa giggled. "Too right, you don't, but I guess you'll do." She handed him the sponge. "My turn!"

Alistair and Elissa finished their bathing. As Alistair settled on the bed, she leapt atop his supine form, pinning him to the bed.

He seemed a bit worried, but Elissa shushed him before he could speak. "I know what you're thinking. She did not taint you, Alistair, or damage you. She couldn't even if she wanted to. We need to do this. You need this, probably more than I do. You have lingering doubts that we can continue after what you think was an act of infidelity. I am going to put that doubt to rest."

She made love to him with more passion and certainty than she ever had. She used every bit of skill she possessed, virtually ripping the pleasure out of him. It didn't take long; they were both still fairly inexperienced. The reached their tipping point together, and went over the edge holding each other tightly. Finally, once it was over, they collapsed into each other's arms, and slept soundly.