Dear Diary,
I can't believe it he is back and I know that it was not an dream this time he was real flesh and blood. Benjamin Barker can you believe it. I would have thought that he would die in Australia with how weak he was when he left but no he just hardened. He is also a different man he is not the kind sweet person that Benjamin was he does not even want to be called that anymore the name of this new man is Sweeney Todd I like this new name it is very dark and poetic. Well now Mr. Todd is living upstairs I told him about what happened to Lucy and Johanna and he was devastated. I did secretly love Benjamin and I think that I love Sweeney even more and now that I have made him think that his dear Lucy is dead there is nothing to stand in my way. He decided to move in upstairs and start being a barber again isn't that lovely, It will also be good because maybe I can get some real meat rather that the moldy meat I usually use. With the money I get from his rent I could clean the place up a bit maybe even hire some help if the shop gets to busy. Life will be better with Mr. Todd around finally someone to talk to I have been so very lonely since Lucy left I may have been jealous that she had Benjamin but other than that she was my best friend we told each other everything and after Benjamin was taken away Lucy was so upset she stopped acting like a mother and neglected Johanna all she did was eat and drink and I had to force her to do that so after that I sort of took Johanna in as my own and oh after Turpin took her away. I had no one to talk to I even started imagining friends people I could talk to cause if I did not I would surely go mad from loneliness. After Johanna and Lucy were gone everything went down hill I lost the money that came in from their rent stopped being able to afford good meat and I could not afford to much bad meat either and now I am struggling to feed myself and keep the shop open I don't know what I would do if Mr. Todd didn't come back I would probably be starving on the streets with Lucy oh how horrid I was to her I was to her. One day Johanna was very sick she had been crying all day and Lucy got very angry and started beating the poor baby this made me so angry since had started raising the baby as my own that I wished she would die she took me seriously and took arsenic from the apothecary round the corner I felt horrible for days I should have known that she would take me seriously after Benjamin left she had been a little different she was having mental problems and I knew it. I should have been more sensitive. After the arsenic poisoning she just wasn't herself she was insane and so she was locked up in bedlam all alone that poor girl should have gone to the hospital she may have been able to recover be a good mother and taken care of Johanna but she didn't .The day after she had been locked up there was a pounding on the door and they came in and stole Johanna what could I do they were police and I was just a pie maker well they did not just take the girl they took many of the Barker's possessions anything valuable but as they were searching the other rooms I hid Mr. Barkers razors under a loose floor board he promised that he would come back if he ever left and I believed him even though Lucy did not I did I knew that he would keep his promise and he did well Mr. T. and Mr. Barker do have one thing in common they both love those razors he was over joyed to be reunited with them I knew he was even though he did not show it he does not show any emotions other than anger. I wonder what happened to little Johanna she is probably a beautiful young lady by now just like her mother. Well that is all for today I will write again next time something interesting happens.
Nellie
Lovett