Authors Note: Here is the long awaited sequel. Thank you Sparklepinkpixie for inspiring me to write a sequel :) I hope you, and everyone else enjoys it :D
Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not own Bleach or its characters – only my story lines. I also don't own the lyrics.
Lyrics are Open Your Eyes by Snow Patrol.
-}-|-{-
Open Your Eyes
The warm crimson liquid splashed onto damp cold stone, staining the already stained, water logged floor. Splatters of red trickled from a space on the wall, as well as from the gashes across the knuckles of a now very much bruised and aching tanned hand. It was decided. Punching a wall was inot/i a clever thing to do. Holding back tears – not of pain, but of anger – Shunsui sat in the driest corner of the dark cell.
(I don't belong here… I don't want to be here… how long has it been? How long do I have left?) weary grey eyes turned upon the sound of clattering as a tray was shoved through a hatch in the door before being locked again, preventing any light from entering except the few strokes of moonlight from several tiny holes at the top of the wall, casting dull silver bars across the grotty stone floor. Time passed as Shunsui watched the tray – almost as if expecting it would come to life and devour him on the spot.
(3 days… tonight is the night of the 3rd day… that means…) Biting his lip, he tossed the gruel they called 'food' from the tray with the past 'meals', which lay half rat-eaten in the opposite corner from which he sat, ignoring his stomachs growls of protest as he did so. Returning back to his chosen spot, Shunsui finally allowed but a single tear to slip from lifeless eyes.
(Tomorrow… they will execute me… for a crime I didn't commit… what a way to go, ne?) Anger flowed through the now ex-captain once again, as his mind turned back to the events leading to his imminent execution.
All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you
Shunsui Kyoraku gazed across the table at the woman opposite him, her blond hair waving and shimmering as she spoke. Laughing merrily, the tanned male clasped his hand on hers, reassuring her as to how absolutely amazing he thought she was. After an extra half hour of ecstatic chatter, the pair parted ways, with Shunsui paying the bill for the coffee and cake and making his way back to the Sereitei feeling high as a kite, a wide grin plastered on his face. His mood heightened when he saw Jushiro waiting for him at the gates.
"How was your day?" Shunsui stopped before his lover, brushing off the harshness of the tone the question was asked in, and replying animatedly
"I have had the most amazing, the most wonderful, the most-"
"I'm glad." This time, Shunsui could not ignore the bitterness that laced his partner's words.
"…What's wrong, Juu?" the pale man, for although his illness had been cured a little less than 3 years ago, his fair skin and silky white hair remained, glared at the confused brunette.
"Ju-"
"Don't lie to me! Don't act as though I'm an idiot, Shunsui! You said you were happy, I thought everything was ok!"
"It is… isn't it?"
"You tell me!" Shunsui rubbed his temples. This was not how the day was supposed to go. "I can't believe you, Shunsui Kyoraku!" looking up, Shunsui was speechless as he saw his lover was close to tears "How dare you! DON'T TOUCH ME!" withdrawing what had meant to be a comforting hand, Shunsui tried to ask what was wrong again, but each time his lover only became more livid.
"Jushiro, Love, I-" He could handle a hollow. Hell, he could handle a Vasto Lordes! A Zanpakuto through the chest? No problem. A Cero to the stomach? Easy. He was one of the oldest and most powerful captains, after all… but when Jushiros hand flashed before him, connecting with his jaw with a sickening CRACK! …He felt he would shatter into a million pieces… just like his heart was about to.
"Its over, Shunsui. I'm not going to put up with… with this. Especially not after…" the white haired beauty shook his head, ridding himself of the memory of Shunsui's attempted suicide but a few short years ago, anger and betrayal burning in his eyes. "I moved your things into your barracks." Shunsui had moved into the Ugendo with his lover less than 7 months ago… "Don't come near me."
And he was gone.
Shunpo'd out of Shunsuis life.
Leaving behind a confused, heartbroken man.
(…where did I go wrong?)
-}-|-{-
He wasn't sure how long he had sat there, eyes transfixed on the space his lover… ex-lover… had occupied, a frozen hand resting oh his bruised, aching jaw… only that it was dark when he entered his barracks, and he was soaked through with the heavy rain he had failed to notice begin to fall.
"Captain! Where have you been! It's almost midnight!"
(Dammit why did she have to wait up… I do not need this right now!)
"Out." Nanao rolled her eyes, her irritation evident in her delicate features.
"Captain, despite what you seem to think, you happen to have important duties to-"
"I've been busy." Sighing in annoyance, Nanao glared up at her Captain.
"I know you had an argument with Captain Ukitake. He came here this morning just after you left, thinking he may have done something to upset you, so I told him where you would be. What I didn't expect was for him to come back in tears because you were cheating on him!" It was as if whatever remained of his heart had frozen in place as his breath fled from his lungs.
"YOU told him where I was!... Wait, he SAW me? How much did he see!"
"So its true! You WERE cheating on him! After everything YOU put him through, YOU-" Anything else his young Lieutenant may have been saying was drowned out by the rage, confusion and turmoil pounding in Shunsuis ears.
"SILENCE!" it was as if the world had stopped spinning. Everything fell silent, inside the office and out. No sound was made, nor movement. Everything ceased. "Lieutenant Ise, your opinion is of no value. You have no right to speak as you did." His voice was so low. Dark and cold that Nanao wished he had been yelling. Hell, she would have preferred it if he had his blade drawn to her throat-or even in her stomach-anything except the tone he was speaking in now… "Get out of my sight" every word was a blow to her heart "and don't come back until you have remembered" this wasn't the man she called captain "Your" this was a man driven by a passion which, like a stranger, moved into his body "Place." and she was powerless to do anything about it. The finality of his comment left her unable to compose a reply, but it was the hardness of his gaze that sent her Shunpoing from the office as fast as she could.
-}-|-{-
Looking back and telling yourself what you should or shouldn't have done is easy. For it isn't until after an event has occurred that you truly get to take a moment and look back, analyse the situation, and advise yourself on where you went wrong and what you could've done instead. It isn't until after the emotions raging inside you have died down that you are allowed to once again see clearly, and make sense of your situation. Yet, no amount of looking back or thinking or reasoning can undo what has been done, only help come to a conclusion on what can be done. This was a fact Shunsui mused upon since he had first been dragged to his new residence. The moonlight had shifted slightly, revealing that an hour or so had been and passed, as he let out a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding. Of course, now he knew full well what had occurred… but at the time it had all seemed so… surreal… as if all he could do was watch as his life, his love, his ientire being/i unravelled and lay bare before him, pulled apart by something that had seemed so simple… and now he was helpless to change what had passed. He do nothing but tell himself these same facts over and over again as he willed the night to drag on and allow him more time to remember those last few days, and how things could have been different had he made but a small tweak in his decisions…
My bones ache, my skin feels cold
And I'm getting so tired and so old
A little over 48 hours. That's how long had passed since Jushiro had left him standing there in the rain. 48 hours of pain and confusion… but Shunsui was adamant that he would solve it all tonight.
(It took me over 2 days… but I'm finally ready… I have everything need, and you've had time to cool off, and everything will be right again… it will…) Shunsui daren't tell himself otherwise. He tried his best not to consider the fact the beautiful man that haunted his every waking moment, as well as the few minutes he had caught of sleep, may not come back to him. That it might, in fact, truly be over. He couldn't spare a second to a thought that would drain him of his spirit and leave him maimed. No… he would prove to Jushiro that he loved him. Then they would talk… and things would be explained… and then… Shunsui smiled as he thought of the look on his soon-to-be-lover-agains face when he saw what had been prepared. Creeping up to the window, Shunsui risked a peek in at the unsuspecting male… and felt his slowly mending heart drop and shatter once again.
A well built male with shoulder length black hair and green eyes stood, holding HIS Jushiro in his arms, kissing HIS Jushiro passionately with his hands on HIS Jushiros waist and-no… it wasn't his Jushiro anymore…
(But… Jushiro doesn't even LIKE that! He doesn't like being backed up against the wall…) Yet said white haired male returned the other mans hold.
(Jushiro never liked having my hands on his waist…) Yet he made no move to move the other mans hands, only ran his own hands down the other mans back.
(Jushiro didn't like bruising kisses or being thrust against the wall…) But the pale man arched his back, welcoming the other mans hips against his… and Shunsui could take it no longer.
(Or maybe… you just didn't like what I did… you were only with me out of guilt… but it felt so… so REAL… wasn't it?) He held back tears as he turned and walked away from the squad 13 barracks. (Its nice to know you can move on so quickly, Ukitake-san…)
-}-|-{-
As his breathing began to regulate, and his fists unclenched from the tight balls they had formed, Shunsui curled tighter into the corner of his cell. The vision of his perfect white warrior, now tainted with that of the bastard he had been with that night burned holes in his mind and made him see red… and that had been just his problem, hadn't it? Who was he kidding when he claimed to be innocent? Certainly not the head captain. Definitely not the jury of captains. Until now, he had only fooled himself… a bitter laugh escaped dry lips. He was guilty as charged… tanned hands wandered to a small piece of brick that has chipped from the wall, and began using it to draw a picture in the dirt…
"I wanted so much to give it to you Jushiro…" he whispered to himself, digging into the dirt a crude representation of the item that he had hoped to put into Jushiros possession the night they had broken up, and ignoring the blood poring from his hands and knuckles…
The anger swells in my guts
And I won't feel these slices and cuts
Shunsui Kyoraku, Captain of the 8th division, sauntered into the captains meeting 15 minutes late, trying to act as though he hadn't been drowning his sorrows in a bottle (or several) of sake the night before. For the same reason, he ignored the feeling of 11 pairs of eyes on him as simply paranoia, and discarded the glare from the Head Captain as being annoyed at his inebriation, which he thought he was actually hiding quite well. The captains all seemed to nod, and Shunsui frowned in confusion before being felled to his knees by a sudden, unpredicted, combined blast of spiritual pressures.
"Wh-what are you-"
"Shunsui Kyoraku you are being charged with the attack and potential murder-"
"What? I… I haven't-"
"-of Captain Jushiro Ukitake of the 13th Court Guard Squad-"
"Jushiro!" He suddenly became all too aware that said man was not present. "Jushiro… I wouldn't… I would never… wait where is he!"
"You have the right to remain silent. You are hereby stripped of your rank as captain, your social status-"
"What social status? And where is Jushiro? Is he ok? Head Captain, please-"
"your rights as a soul reaper are hereby abolished, you will not attend your trial, if you wish to speak in your own defence do so now but it will be used against you in your hearing."
"I…" (Can't remember where I was or what I was doing last night…) "…I… would never hurt Jushiro…" Shunsui was unaware of the droning voice of his sensei, of the restraints put on him and the collar designed to cut of his spiritual pressure. He didn't see the various looks from the other captains. Only 4 things made their way to his mind. He couldn't sense if Jushiro was dead or alive. His hearing was about to take place, immediately, without him. He couldn't remember anything that had happened the night, or evening, before. And the last thing he heard before being dragged away to a holding cell.
"If found guilty he will be sentenced to immediate execution."
The cell door clicked open, and the sound of feet could be heard shuffling towards him, but Shunsui didn't raise his head. He had no reason to. He was quite content to stare at the grubby, bug infested floor rather than face who ever it was that had come to laugh in his face or mock him with condolences.
"Shunsui…"
"…Retsu?" he felt warmth return to him as the woman fell to her knees before him and pulled him into a hug.
"Oh, Shunsui… I'm so sorry… I… I tried… really, I did but… he wouldn't listen… nobody wants this, Shunsui, nobody-" he couldn't bare hearing her so distressed.
"Shh… Retsu, calm down… please, it's ok, really." They both knew it wasn't. Vaguely attempting to hide her disbelief, Retsu pulled away and looked deep into Shunsuis eyes.
"I know you wouldn't do something like that… tell me you didn't do it…"
"Retsu… I don't even know what's going on. I don't remember anything about last night, and I don't even know if… if he's… but… I would never hurt Jushiro…" laying her hand over that of the tanned male, the 4th squad captain gave a sad smile.
"He's alive, Shunsui… and stable…"
"Thank Kami…" a moment of awkward silence passed between them.
"Shunsui… I don't have long, but I want you to know-" he held up a cuffed hand to silence her.
"I know, Retsu. I know you did your best. I just… I need you to do something for me. Think… think of it as my dying wish-"
"Shunsui!"
"-I need you to be there for Jushiro… when he wakes up. I don't… I don't want either of you there when… when they… I…" he took a moment to collect himself before continuing "Tell him… tell him to have a good life. He deserves so much more than I could give him, and he needs to keep the sereitei bright with his smile. If he were to stop smiling, the sun would stop shining, and we can't let that happen, ne?" He paused to wipe away the tears that had begun to slowly fall from his listeners eyes. "And most of all… tell him I'm sorry… and that sorry will be the last word on my lips, just for him…"
"Shun…" the cell door clicked open once again, the guard avoiding eye contact with present and past captains.
"Y-your time is up, ma'am." Retsu gave a small nod and rose to her feet as Shunsui suddenly remembered the weight in his pocket. Taking it out, he grabbed Retsu's hand, sending the guards hand straight to his Zanpakuto.
"Its ok." Retsu assured, raising her free hand before looking down at her friend.
"Ma'am, I'm sorry but you really must go now…"
"It belongs to him," Shunsui explained, pressing the box into Retsus hand ", whether he wants it or not… just like my heart…"
"I… I will make sure he gets it…"
When Retsu left the cell for the final time, she couldn't help but peak inside the box, even though she knew Shunsui was watching from the window. And as she gazed inside, she could no longer stop the sobs that wracked her body or the stream of burning tears that rolled down her cheeks…
-}-|-{-
Rays of golden light began to overcome the silver glint that sparkled against the grubby floor of his cell. The rays that announced the imminent rising of the sun gleamed across the crude drawing Shunsui had made in the grit and filth. It didn't look like much there, but in his mind Shunsui knew every curve, every detail, every angle of every shine the object made… the intricate, hand forged white gold engagement ring he had gone through great lengths to have made perfectly and flawlessly so that he could present it to the even more perfect vision that was his boyfriend… but fate had a habit of kicking you to the floor, stealing your carefully sculpted plans and setting fire to them before burning you with their ashes. Fate was a bitch.
I want so much to open your eyes
'Cause I need you to look into mine
Darkness faded to a blinding white light before the room around him slowly dissolved into view. Jushiro groaned and looked around… he was in a hospital bed, that much was certain… the sound of muffled sobs drifted to his ears, and the bedridden 13th squad captain turned his head to find their source.
"…Ret…su?" his voice was croaky from lack of use, and he had to repeat himself several times before she shifted in her seat to look at him.
"J-Jushiro… y-you're awake!" he gave a slight smile, which quickly faded as his sempais body was wracked with another round of sobs.
"Shh, Retsu… it's ok, please stop crying. Everything's ok now, see? It's-"
"NO, Everything is NOT 'ok'!" the tearful woman snapped, then quickly scolded herself for doing so. After recovering from his shock, Jushiro pushed aside the nagging feeling of 'wrongness' in his mind in favour of trying to comfort his life-long friend.
"Retsu, don't cry-"
"How can I not? Jushiro, he's going to die! He's… he's…"
"Who? Retsu, who is going to die?"
{It must be someone important to her, to have her so worked up…}
"Sh… Shunsui…" Jushiro froze, waiting for Retsu to elaborate. "He… he's due to be e-executed… this morning… I-in an hour and a half…" still no reply. "He's being…" she couldn't say it "F-for what happened to you… th-they think he did it… he didn't… Jushiro, tell me he didn't… he would n-never hurt you…" still, Jushiro gave no inclination or answer. Nothing Retsu said seemed to be registering with the blank expression upon his face.
"J…Jushiro?" beginning to fear the answer to her question, Retsu refrained from asking a second time, and suddenly remembered the box weighing down her inside pocket. "Jushiro…? I-I went to see Shunsui… when he was first…" Imprisoned. Jushiro knew she couldn't bring herself to say the exact words, but made no move to show he was even listening, yet she went on regardless. "He… he asked me to give you something…" This caught the white haired males attention, his slightly shocked gaze now resting on the woman's hand, in which lay a small greyish-blue box. "He… he told me… that even if you don't want it, it belongs to you… as… as does his h-heart…" The healers words slowly sunk into his mind as Jushiro wondered what the box in his hands could possibly hold that was so important, Shunsui wanted him to have it even when they were no longer together…
"A-aren't you going to o-open it?" Coming out of his reverie, Jushiro gave a slight nod and carefully lifted the lid of the box, and as his eyes finally came to rest on the object within, his breath left his body, his mind went numb and his heart ached with both pleasure and pain.
Shining in the dim hospital lighting, the band of white gold gleamed up at its new owner in its milky, pure glory. Around the outside an elegant swirl of patterns were etched, every now and then joining to encircle a delicate pale Turquoise – Jushiro's birthstone – of which there were 8, expertly set into the beautiful object. On the inside, carefully engraved in a stunning flowing handwriting were the words 'Amor Numquam Moritur'. Latin. Jushiro had always liked Latin… it was… romantic.
Snapping back into the world of reality, Jushiro suddenly remembered one piercing, painful detail.
{Shunsui is to be executed this morning… No!} Leaping from his bed, Retsu wasn't fast enough to stop him before he darted behind a screen and changed.
"Jushiro?"
"I have to go!" he exclaimed, sprinting towards the door, stopping only to spare a glance and a few words to Retsu before disappearing into the ominous early morning mist. And Retsu felt a small, sad smile tug at her lips as she watched him go.
"Shunsui isn't guilty."
Tell me that you'll open your eyes
Tell me that you'll open your eyes
{How could I have been so stupid? It's my fault… He's going to die if I don't hurry up!} The frustrated captain tried his best to Shunpo, but knew if he went to fast he would collapse, and that wouldn't help his lover at all. {How did this all even start…?}
Tell me that you'll open your eyes
Tell me that you'll open your eyes
Jushiro paced up and down the length of his office, deep in thought. As of late he felt he and his lover had been distant from each other, and he was wracking his brain trying to find the cause. Shunsui was constantly 'working' or 'dealing with important matters', yet he hadn't been doing his paperwork… if possible, he had done even less paperwork than usual! Sighing, he decides to take a walk round to the 8th squad building, in the hopes his lover will have some spare time.
After a lengthily talk with Nanao about the 8th squad captains current moods and whereabouts, Jushiro found his lover had plans to be at a small café in the Rukongai. Curious, he made his way to said café and peered through a window to see what his boyfriend was up to… and what he saw made his heart clench. Shunsui was not alone. Opposite him sat a tall, well dressed woman with long honey coloured hair, shining green eyes, glossy lips and legs that went on for miles. They were laughing merrily, and he reached his hand across the table to join it with her slender fingers. Upset, infuriated and betrayed, Ukitake tore himself away from the spectacle and shunpo'd to the gates to wait for the man.
"How was your day?" Jushiro spat as the grinning male approached.
"I have had the most amazing, the most wonderful, the most-" he felt his anger rising. Had his so called lover had such an 'amazing' day without him?
"I'm glad." This time the tanned male seemed to pick up on the bitterness and venom lacing his words, and his concern almost seemed genuine.
"…What's wrong, Juu? … Ju-" He had had enough.
"Don't lie to me! Don't act as though I'm an idiot, Shunsui! You said you were happy, I thought everything was ok!"
"It is… isn't it?"
"You tell me!" Shunsui rubbed his temples. Jushiro clenched his fists. What right did he have to be frustrated! "I can't believe you, Shunsui Kyoraku!" Jushiro could feel the tears beginning to prick at his vision "How dare you! DON'T TOUCH ME!" he yelled, swatting away the outstretched hand that had been offered to him. He couldn't handle it…
"Jushiro, Love, I-" He wasn't sure what he was doing. It was as if someone else had control of his body, and he was only watching as his hand connected with the others face.
"Its over, Shunsui. I'm not going to put up with… with this. Especially not after…" the white haired male shook his head, ridding himself of the memory of Shunsui's attempted suicide but a few short years ago, anger and betrayal burning in his eyes. "I moved your things into your barracks." It had only been about 7 months since they had moved into the Ugendo together… "Don't come near me."
And with that, he was gone, not wanting the other to see the tears now cascading down his face.
-}-|-{-
{How did I fall so far?... How did it all get so… broken?} He had only intended to speak to Shunsui, to find out exactly what had been going on… and now he knows – and it may be too late. He could hear voices that the back of his mind barely recognised calling out to him.
'Good to see you're awake'
'Welcome back'
'Nice to see you up, Captain'
He ignored them, focusing only on the distance slowly closing between himself and the White Tower. But then he suddenly became aware of something else – clusters of people gathering, talking, igossiping/i.
'He went mad, you know.' Who went mad?
'It was because Captain Ukitake left him.' Were they talking about Shunsui?
'Suicide didn't work for the first rejection – so he tried to do in Captain Ukitake instead.'
'That's sick and twisted.'
Stopping in his tracks, Jushiro slowly turned to face the gossiping group with an uncharacteristically cold, hard stare.
"Captain Ukitake! Glad to see you're-"
"I do not appreciate what you are implying about Captain Kyoraku." The group looked at him, wide eyed at his harsh tone. "He is a loyal and caring man to both his friends and the sereitei and I will not tolerate idle gossip and false accusations." Deciding it would be best not to correct the irate captain on the fact Shunsui Kyoraku was no longer a captain, and, as of around 3 years, no longer a Kyoraku, the offending participants merely nodded before watching as Ukitake stormed away. Rage fuelled him on, but with only an hour left, and his injuries and the constant interruptions, he wasn't making good time.
{Shunsui… I'm coming… please be ok… I'm coming…} Thoughts of that night burned into his memory – the night he had almost been killed – but the events leading up to it were the ones running through his thoughts like scenes from a bad drama/romance film.
Get up, get out, get away from these liars
'Cause they don't get your soul or your fire
Jushiro smiled as he opened the door for his old friend to enter. He hadn't seen Kon Serpus for a number of years, and was glad to have someone to talk to after a little over 48 hours of solitude. After a little chat over some tea, Jushiro began to notice the deep green eyes of his friend had not once left his body, and began to grow a little uncomfortable under the stare.
"Kon? Are you ok?"
"Everything is fine, Jushiro" Kon purred, a sly smile playing on his lips. Returning the smile with an awkward one of his own, Jushiro rose to go and get some more tea, only to have Kon stop him and turn him around. Before he could ask what was going on, Kons lips were against his kissing him passionately as he was backed up against the wall. Jushiro placed his arms over Kons shoulders as the other mans hands rest at his waist. He didn't like this position, the hands on his waist felt… wrong… as if he were being emasculated… was that how Shunsui had felt every time they-
{No! Don't think of him… I… I need to move on.. maybe… maybe this is best…} shyly, he ran his hands down his friends back, grunting when the dark haired male thrust against him. Images of Shunsui rubbing against him as they showered together filled his mind, and he found himself arching his back to meet the thrusts before dragging himself back into reality. This wasn't Shunsui. This fel iWRONG/i…
"Kon… Kon stop…"
"huh?" Pushing the foreign body from his, Jushiro freed himself and ran outside, gulping in the cool night air and attempting to sort through his confused array of thoughts. It was then that he saw it. A soft, velvet blanket had been laid by one of his favourite flower beds, and on it were a few carefully placed treats from expensive savoury items to some of his favourite sugary sweets and pastries. Next to the blanket was a bucket full of ice with two bottles of drink – one being his favourite sweet wine, the other being a non-alcoholic fruity wine he had once said he had been dying to try… but only one person knew that.
"Shunsui…"
-}-|-{-
Panting, the 13th Squad captain smiles as he stands before the White Tower with half an hour to spare, but the smile quickly fades as he realises there is no one there. Approaching one of the guards he wasted no time in demanding to know where Shunsui was being kept.
"S-squad 1, s-sir!" Came the stuttered reply.
{Squad one…} Changing course, Jushiro tried to double his pace in order to reach the first squad barracks in time. Memories of Shunsui, and the number of times he had stood by Jushiro invaded Jushiros mind, sending an eerie chill down his spine. How many times had Shunsui needed him, and he failed to be there for him? In sickness or in health, Shunsui had helped Jushiro through the best and worst of times… but he had failed to reciprocate.
"Never again… I will never fail him again…"
{I love him… I love him, I want him and I need him. If we get through this… No. We will get though this. If you will have me back… I swear I will never let you down again…} And so he rushes towards the squad one reinforced holding cells, thinking of the last time he had seen his lover… ex-lover… Shunsui…
Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time
Exchanging weary smiles, the pair sip their drinks, exchanging small talk and polite words.
"It's been a while, Nanao-san" he smiles "I haven't seen you for several days." She gave a courteous laugh and answered
"Indeed. I have been… away." He could feel the mood falter, as if it were a mask balanced on a very thin ledge, and could tip and shatter at any moment.
"How is your captain?" The ledge tipped. And the mask shattered.
"I …don't know." Putting down her tea, Nanao explained her last eventful encounter with her captain, and Jushiro feels the age build up inside him – but rage is quickly replaced with confusion at Nanaos next words.
"Plead don't be angry with him…"
"What?"
"I accused him of cheating – I was out of line, and it was uncalled for."
"Was it?" In Jushiros mind it wasn't. It was true, he had no right to-
"Yes. He wasn't cheating…" Jushiro stared, dumbstruck.
{He… wasn't?}
"The woman he went to meet," Nanao continued "Was Sora Murasame. She's a renowned master craftswoman and metal worker… I don't know what he was having made, but whatever it was cost him an arm and a leg, as well as at least a year's supply of sake…"
-}-|-{-
It all made sense. Of course it did, because now he had the amazing power of hind sight, that bastard of a thing that allowed you to look back at an event and say to yourself 'Oh look, wasn't I such an idiot? If I had only done that differently my life wouldn't be as much of a mess as it is now'.
{So… Shunsui was seeing her about getting the ring made… he did it for me… and I…} shaking his head, Jushiro tried to focus but found he could not. {Now he's being blamed for the attack… and it's all my fault…}
Every minute from this minute now
We can do what we like anywhere
Jushiro looked at Kon with an apologetic smile. He wanted to let him down as lightly as possible, there was no reason to let this spoil their friendship, after all.
"I'm sorry; really I am, but… I don't think of you like that. I'm in love with Shunsui." Kons eyes narrowed. This was obviously not what he wanted to hear.
"No."
"Excuse me?"
"No! You don't love him! You can't love him!" Kon growled, seizing the pale man by the shoulders and shaking him roughly. Jushiros fist connected with Kons jaw, and everything from there on was a blur… he could barely remember how he ended up flat on his back on the floor, or how Kon ended up hovering above him, hand clasped around his throat. He couldn't feel his body, yet he knew he was bleeding heavily.
"I'm sorry, Jushiro… but you're MINE… I love you, not him… I-"
"Jushiro?" The familiar, warm, velvety voice was like balm on his wounded soul, and Jushiro felt himself relax as Kon was torn away from him. "Get away from him!"
"He's mine!" Punches were thrown, and objects used, and time seemed to creep by at a snails pace until Jushiro found himself staring up into the concerned gaze of his tanned hero.
"Sh… un… sui?" When had his voice become so cracked?
"Shhh… its ok, Juu… I'm going to pick you up, ok?" suppressing a groan, he felt himself be lifted into those muscular arms he knew so well. He could smell the faint smell of alcohol in the mans breath, but knew he was sober. Shunsui was coherent as he whispered soothing comforts into the injured male's ear, and was quick and graceful as he shunpo'd to the fourth squad.
"Shu… nsui…"
"Nearly there, Juu, Hang on, ok? Don't close your eyes…"
"I… I lo-"
-}-|-{-
Jushiro blinks away the tears threatening to overwhelm him. He needed to keep his eyes sharp. Time was running out. He assumed afterwards that he got to squad four, and Shunsui went out and got hammered. He didn't know… he passed out before he could even tell him that he loved him… and looking back, he tries not to think about how much his words sounded like they could have been 'I Loathe You'.
I want so much to open your eyes
'Cause I need you to look into mine
Tendrils of red, pink, orange and gold enveloped the sky as the sun peaked over the horizon, setting fire to the clouds and waking all who bathed in its glow. Shunsui watches through the small holes in the wall of his confinement, remembering the times when he would whisk his lover from their shared sheets to watch the sun rise over the rooftops, and hear the first bird song of the coming day… it sounded so cheesy and cliché, that it almost seemed as though none of it were real, and the memories were just fiction, something his mind came up with in order to quell the panic rising in him. For the briefest of moments, he forgets the imminent end to his future, and thinks of what could have been before his wandering mind meanders to the thought of Jushiro. Was he awake? If he was, was he looking upon the same deceivingly beautiful sight? And would he be there when Shunsui was led from his depressing captivity to the final threshold of his life? He hoped not… for you see, Shunsui had drawn his last breath what seemed like an eternity ago, but was only, in reality, a few short days, when Jushiro had shunpo'd out of his life with no intention of ever returning. That was when he had drawn his last breath, he had already died inside. All they were killing now was his body. And he couldn't bear for Jushiro to see that… no. It wasn't that he couldn't bear Jushiro to see it… it was that he couldn't bear to see Jushiro and to embrace the thought that maybe this was what Jushiro wanted… for him to truly be gone… forever.
-}-|-{-
The usually calming, warm sensation of the sun on his back brought nothing but chills and despair for Jushiro as he raced to reach the first squad barracks. His heart and mind told him to go faster, pick up speed, that there wasn't much time left… but his body disagreed. Stopping abruptly, he found the contents of his stomach decided to empty themselves out into a bush… this was his body telling him he was doing to much, having only just got out of hospital (technically without discharge), after being so badly wounded… but he only had 15 minutes to find his love… and not one of those minutes could be wasted on himself. Shunsui needed him. And he wasn't about to let him down again.
Tell me that you'll open your eyes
Tell me that you'll open your eyes
The birds sang in many different tones, tempos and tunes, and Shunsui couldn't help but give a small, sad smile when one of the smaller feathery creatures landed just outside the 'peep holes' of his cell to sing what seemed to him a melancholy melody. It was as if it was saying its goodbyes, and telling him the world would be fine without him.
(Heh, now I sound delirious…)
But it was true. When he is gone, the world will carry on as normal. The sun will rise, the birds will sing, the river will flow, etcetera, etcetera… Nanao will have a new captain. One who will treat her well, and respect her as she deserves to be respected… not be a thorn in her side like he was… Old Man Yam-… the Head Captain will find a captain he can trust… not a lazy good for nothing… and Jushiro… Jushiro will find another lover… someone to hold him and cherish him… and Shunsui wasn't sure if that thought sickened him, that he would never hold his hearts desire again… or pleased him that Jushiro would be happy with someone else, even if it was not him who could make his angel…the angel smile…
-}-|-{-
He could swear he could hear the clock ticking in his head as he ran, feel the minutes weighing on him, the doubts telling him he wouldn't make it in time… and his imagination takes a stroll down a long forbidden path – the 'what if' that he had never dared consider… the forbidden path of what life would be without Shunsui Kyoraku to make light of it. A world without the cheerful, flamboyant 8th Squad Captain in it… Sure, the sun would still rise – but who could put such a simple event into words as beautifully as the poetic tanned male who watched it at every available opportunity? The birds would still sing, but what meaning did that have when he would no longer see how Shunsui could get a singing bird to land on his hand and stay there until he shooed it away? The river would flow, but how could he walk down another river bank with his walking partner was no longer there to enjoy the calm gurgling noise it made as they strode together? Nanao was distraught, Shunsui was the only captain she ever had, and she could never replace him in her heart or her squad. Yamamoto-Sensei loved Shunsui like a sun, and it broke his heart to have to let this happen. And he… well… there were only three words he would use to describe a world without Shunsui Kyoraku.
Dull.
Tedious.
Lifeless.
Tell me that you'll open your eyes
Tell me that you'll open your eyes
He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think straight. The fear that he had quelled for so long had risen with a vengeance and gripped him so tightly he could no longer put together a string of coherent words or thoughts. He had been fighting it off for so long, but now it struck him like a hammer to an anvil…
He was about to die.
No, Worse…
He was about to die as a traitor to the sereitei.
A Murderer.
The Murderer of the only person he ever truly loved.
Family Less.
Loveless.
And his worst fear of all…
…He was about to die…
…Alone…
-}-|-{-
He wasn't going to make it…
He had to make it…
He had no choice. A few short years ago, he had thought the worst day of his life had occurred… the one he loved attempted suicide, and he had failed to be there for him through being disowned, or even after the passionate night they had shared… and when it had 'blown over', though the scars still remained, mentally and physically, he promised himself and his lover that he would always be there for him…
…But he hadn't trusted Shunsui…
…Hadn't even told him of his suspicions…
…He had left him…
…Alone…
Tell me that you'll open your eyes
Tell me that you'll open your eyes
A faint grunt escaped his lips as he felt himself be pulled from his cell before being marched to the site of his execution. His eyes roamed over the two rows of captains, lined up either side of a stretch of concrete as he passed down the middle to a pair of poles, where he was to be cuffed shortly. It was as if some unknown power had seized his body, pushing him out to watch as it controlled his actions as he gave each captain a small, sad smile. Perhaps it was because he didn't, couldn't, fully blame them for what they were forced to do. Perhaps it was because he knew in their position he would have to do the same thing. Or perhaps it was because he had a faint lingering hope that one of them would return a small, reassuring smile of their own. That one of them, or at least, part of them, believed he was innocent, or even a small sign to show someone would mourn him when he was gone… instead he was met with blank, unreadable stares. In the back of his mind he registered the fact he was being spoken to – asked if he wanted to face forward, in which he would see the blast that would end his life coming, or backward, and be spared the sight.
"Forward." Again, he had no idea where the words were coming from – for it couldn't have been his voice that sounded so drained of life and purpose…
A flicker of emotion amongst the captains told him it was.
Jushiros eyes widen as he sees his love being cuffed to the poles, facing the stone cannon-like weapon that was about to end his life. It was charged with the spiritual energy, and kido, of at least 8 captains, and was firing up ready to release a harpoon that would pierce the shirtless male's body and destroy him completely… and then it was fired, and everything seemed to slow down, yet it happened so fast.
"No!" Jushiro leapt forward, using the last of his energy to throw himself at his endangered love, making all present jump out of their hazy reverie and move to stop the blast – but none knowing how. Shunsuis eyes widened in shock, struggling against his restraints and yelling to try and get Jushiro to move, but Jushiro merely clung to him, offering only a chaste kiss before holding him close, his words barely a whisper, but like music to Shunsuis ears in the chaos.
"Please forgive me"
BOOOM!
Tell me that you'll open your eyes
Tell me that you'll open your eyes
Blinding light faded, and he could feel warmth spread across his chest and liquid drip down his neck and shoulder. At first he couldn't breathe, then his senses slowly came back to him, and his lungs began to fill with air. Was this death? Opening his eyes, without realising he had closed them, his sight was greeted with shining white light…
(…wait… that's not light… it's… hair…) Now thinking clearly, Shunsui was able to distinguish the warmth across his chest as Jushiros body pressed against his, and the liquid as being his tears rolling down his cheek onto Shunsuis neck. Head Captain Genryusai Yamamato deflected the blast with all his strength, stopping only for a moment to catch his breath before resealing his released Zanpakuto and turning to face his two former pupils. He needn't say a word, for Jushiro already knew an explanation was needed. But he would spend the next 500 years explaining if he had to, so long as no harm to his love. And the next words he heard gave him all the strength he needed.
"Only if you can forgive me?"
All this feels strange and untrue
Jushiro Ukitake smiled secretly to himself. He had been waiting all week for this day. When he first held Shunsui after the Head Captain had straightened everything out, though there were still many creases, they had agreed to take some time to clear their heads. It had taken precisely 8 days for Shunsui to turn up at his doorstep, looking haggard, asking, even if he couldn't stay, if he could have a hug before being sent away. Unable to even think of sending him away, and immediately noticing the man before him had not slept properly for a long time, Jushiro took him in and made sure he got everything he needed. Shunsui had now been living with Jushiro in the Ugendo for 3 months, the two having wanted to be close to each other, and they had been sharing a bed for 2 months, only sharing, of course. They had been slowly mending the broken parts of their relationship, and building on the parts that were still intact. Now, six months after their reunion, Jushiro was making his way up to the roof of the Ugendo, knowing that that was where his lover would be. At first, Shunsui would wordlessly watch the sunrise and sunset with silent appreciation every morning, and every night. Slowly he whittles it down to a sunrise at the beginning of the week, and the sunset at the end of the week. When asked why he did this, Shunsui answered cryptically
'With every sunrise, I make a list of things I need to do… and with every sunset, I'm grateful to have more time to do them in." beaming at the thought, Jushiro made his way up to the roof.
The sky blazed as if on fire, warm colours spreading across the blue expanse before fading slowly to black as its source sank down behind the glittering horizon. Shunsui sat on the roof listening to the gentle lapping of the surrounding water whilst watching the birds silhouetted against the fiery background as the fluttered down to nest for the night. He suddenly became aware of a presence stood next to him and, with a cheerful grin, patted the space by his side. Jushiro knelt by his partner, and Shunsui couldn't help but think the smile his lover gave him as he knelt far outshone the glorious landscape which now faded into an insubstantial shade. After a few moments of comfortable silence, Jushiro turned his gaze to the forgotten view.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?"
"Hai." as cliché as it sounded, Shunsui couldn't tear his eyes away from the awe inspiring form of his lover, who seemed to glow angelically in the fading light.
"Shunsui?"
"Mm?"
"At the risk of sounding like one of those bad romance movies Retsu made us watch… I need you to listen for a minute…" A gleam of amusement sparkled in Shunsuis eyes before he replied with a content, curious smile
"You can have whatever you want, Juu"
"…Really?"
"Hai."
"…You're full attention?"
"You have it." Jushiros lips twitched upwards as his heart skipped a beat
"You? Forever?"
"I am yours forever, Jushiro"
"As my Husband?"
"I-" Shunsui hesitated as his lovers words sank in "Pardon?"
Pulling a small, velvety box from his pocket, Jushiro presented the ring Shunsui had bought him and, alongside it, another, almost identical, with small, twinkling rubies embedded into the pure metal. The brunette's thoughts were reeling, not fully registering what Jushiro was saying.
"Shunsui?" Jushiro chuckled at his partners shock
"Y…yes?"
"Will you marry me?"
And I won't waste a minute without you.
-}-|-{-
"'Amor Numquam Moritur" : "Love Never Dies"
Id like to pay a special thank you to sparklepinkpixie, again, for giving me the inspiration to write a sequel to You Don't Know Me – I know we discussed a wedding, and that will take place in the third (and final! :D) installation, if you're still interested? :) Thank you Sparkle!
Id also like to thank my friend, Luna for encouraging me as I went along and giving me her honest opinion – I hope you enjoy the end as much as you have the rest, loon ;)
"Your Story is really coming along. You have captured the emotions of the characters really well. I look forward to reading the rest of the story and knowing how everything ends. I enjoy how you have used the personalities of the characters to display points as well, for example Retsu crying even when she is shown to be a tough healer." - Luna