WARNING: READING "BORN THIS WAY" BY JellyxTimexbby MAY CAUSE YOU TO VOMIT, HAVE EXPLOSIVE EYEBALLS AND/OR A SUDDEN AND PAINFUL DEATH/ READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! KK, now that that's out of the way. There's a bunch of parodies in the Harry Potter section for "My Immortal," so I figured I might as well make a commentary for this.
Me, Violette Buttercup Symphony-Sparrow was standing in the doorway of my house. I wtached as the cars stroled by as my mum started cooking dinner. Okay, so how exactly can cars stroll by, exactly? 'turqwoise! turqwoise!' she called from the bathrom windough, 'cuz she was on the tolet. She calls me turqwoise 'cuz my names violet and turqwoise is an fancy way of calling turqwoise turqwoise. Yes, because when I'm on the loo I love to shout random colors out the window… And Turquoise is definitely an appropriate nickname for one named Violet.
"Yo mummybitch, imam cum in, in just a sec, lemme just say that ma homies are the best homies in the world" I screamed at my mummybitch. Haha, 'haha that's kind off what that black dude said to taylor swift at some awards' I thought all internally to myself. Haha. So, let's just summarize what's happened so far: Violette Butterc- I'm just gonna call you Violet- is standing in her doorway while her mom is cooking dinner… on the john. Phew, I thought I was the only one. And suddenly, Violet is talking about her… homies…
Then like, jack sparrow was cummin'. Was cummin' to my house! Omg! The real jack sparrow from pirates of the carribean 4! But it wasn't a suprise, cuz jack sparrow is my daddy. Why would you be surprised that your dad walked in, regardless of who he is? And Jack Sparrow is in three other movies, a "How It Should Have Ended" video on Youtube and an SNL short… and you choose On Stranger Tides as a reference? 'Yo, daddybitch. I f*cking love you'. He smiled all intimatly at me because he loves me too. I may not be a walking dictionary like some people *cough cough* HERMIONE GRANGER *cough cough*, but I'm pretty sure you didn't use the word intimately right… Then squidward, from squidward squarepants came into my house, but I wasnt in my house yet and he shouted 'WHATS CRACKALACKING BITCHEZ?' in his sexie squiddy voice. …and suddenly Squidward enters the picture? What is this, the Twilight Zone?
AN: DID U GUYZ NO THAT SQUIDS HAVE BEAKS? THEY AKTUALLY DO, THEYRE BLACK! LIKE BLACK LIKE REBECCA BLACK. Oh and btw if any of u's r dissing her, ur just jelly. (jelly is jelous btw. Duhhh) I'm jelly of your spelling. And I won't even start on how bad Rebecca Black's singing in… unless her name's brought up again.
Yes so my dad hugged me. But then squidward puled a gun on me. Thank you, Squidward. Maybe with a little luck, this terrible atrocity of a story will end here. 'don't shoot me b*tch!' I screamed all horsely because I was scared. Then that is when I started backing up backing up backing up backing up, becuz my daddy taught me good. Even Jack Sparrow himself wouldn't back away… actually he'd probably break out the chopsticks… (and somewhere in the world, Davy Jones is cringing) Then I thought 'maybe I should faint', but I don't, cuz ma daddy taught me good. Okay, at least she didn't faint… like someone else *cough cough* ELIZABETH SWANN *cough cough*
Thats when IT happened. You no? he shot me in the balls. …..isn't she a girl?
No daddy no! I screamed all sadly. Now my manhood had bean taken away. …no comment. Squidward rang the hospital to send an ambulence. Yes, because when I shoot someone, I call the ambulance right away. I was bleeding everywere. 'HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?' I whispered. No reply came. 'mum, dad?' I asked the silent, empty darkness. 'it will be ok Violette' daddybitch conformed me. So obviously the dark isn't silent and empty. I screemed in pane as the doctor touched my body. He slid his hand over my stomach. Ow! I screemed again. Please dont touch me like that. He said ok then left. Oh no! The next time the doctor runs his hand over my arm I'll be worried he'll rape me….
I was alone in my room. Mummybitch applied bandages to my croutch becuz it was bleeding cuz I got shot in the balls by squidward. How can you be alone, and your mom's in the same room with you? (maybe it's metaphorical..?) Shut up. Squidward was downstairs in the dungeon helping my mum cook dinner. LE GASP! Her mom must have that Time Turner from Harry Potter 3… 'please don't touch me' I said to the doctor. He said ok then left. …déjà vu… Then I was lone again in my room. My eyes are a sparkiling rose pink. Can you say random? I went downstairs to get dinner. I looked at sqwidwards face and that's when it struck. It struck 12 o'clock midnite. Ooh, very dramatic… not.
I have to point out something hilarious: One of the reviews for "Born This Way" was written by the person who wrote "My Immortal," whose commentary of that made me write this. Whoever wrote MI said whoever wrote this was amazing…
I don't know when exactly I'll be updating this…
Review, fave and alert, please