Screw them! He's my friend. Even if I did kiss him at the wedding. He isn't what people think about him, she thought. As Rory wrote she smiled and laughed inwardly. She liked writing to Jess because it was like talking to him. Relaxed. She knew that she could go off on a Gilmore Rant and he'd be able to keep up, references and all. Yet, when she wrote out the envolope, she left out the return address.
As she started to write Dean, she wasn't as smiley. Dean's letter was more forced. Paris noticed write off the bat. She glanced at the finished letter and saw Jess' name. Not again! She doesn't feel the same and she knows it! Paris screamed inside. Someone has got to talk to this girl.
"Rory stop!" Paris shouted as Rory's head snapped up in shock. "Did you feel that smile on your face when you wrote that first letter! I thought your face was about to slit in half! Then you start writing this one and you look constipated. Are you fucking kidding me! You fell out of love with Dean long before Jess and you know it!"
Rory was silent. Shocked, but silent. She processed what Paris told her. She was right. it came before Jess.
"Paris..." Rory started unsure of what to say. She moved on to the bed with her new friend. "You are right about Jess not starting it. But I'm going to tell you something not even my mom knows ok? I nver was IN love with Dean. I loved him. But I wasn't IN love with him. I didn't realize the difference until Jess showed up. He showed me that being IN love was so much more exciting and unpredictable. But I never felt that way with Dean. And no matter... no matter how I do it, he's always going to blame Jess."
"Do what?" Paris asked. She was following as well as she could but Paris Gellar did not give advice on love. It just wasn't done.
"Break up with him," Rory mumbled.
"And how would him blaming Jess be a problem?"
"Becuase Paris! I'm not Rory Gilmore, the naive girl who fell for the bad boy. If he blames Jess, he won't understand. Jess talks to me. Not Rory the brainiac, or the girlfirend, or the daughter, or the princess, or the whatever! Just me. And he isn't bad. He didn't suduce me either. He's just someone I fell IN love with at the wrong time."
Silence. "Then maybe you should say that to the person who matters."
-
A Summer Later...
"You going to meet Dean," Lorelai asked over the crazy festival to her one and only daughter.
"Yes. I will see you, darling mother, later!" Rory said as she walked away. She put on the fake cheer for Lor's sake. She was nervous and scared. She decided to brake up with Dean, once and for all. Suprisingly, Paris' talk actually made things better!
She saw the tall boy waiting by the Inn, where she asked him to meet. It was pretty deseted with the Festival happening. She hugged him instead of a kiss. She didn't need to feel worse than she already did.
"Hey. I missed you," Dean said as he pulled her close.
" Yea. Me too, " Rory said. That was true. She did miss seeing him, no matter what was running through her mind. She wanted it over a few weeks into D.C. "I need to talk to you, promise not to interupt?"
"Promise."
"No matter what I say, you swear?"
"Yes already!"
"Dean, we started to have problems before Jess came into town. And I couldn't get why. The reason. And Jess helped me figure it out. No matter how much I love you. I'm just not IN love with you. No matter what I say you'll blame Jess. And I hate that. Whenever something's wrong you blame him, and not us. You can love anyone, but being IN love, that doesn't come so easy. And I guess it's easy to confuse. But I can't anymore. The thing that bothered me the most though, is that you hated when I was around Jess. Even when I thought he was only friend. He is not anything like what everyone thinks. He's was my friend. And I couldn't hang out with him without getting inot a fight with you," Rory ranted. She was suprised he didn't interupt, probably from all his anger. she took a breath and started again. "But like I said, we could have worked passed that, if that was the only problem. I am so sorry, but I think it would hurt more if we lied to each other. It's over Dean."
She was suprised how at how calm she was. And dry eyed. Until he started to yell.
"Go to hell Rory. Go Fucking be with who you're 'IN' love with. I don't give a shit anymore!" Dean yelled and left.
Rory walked to the shed in the back where she spent her early years. She sliped into the tub and cried. Not becuase of the break up. But because Dean was nothing like she thought. That guy wouldn't have cursed at her. Or thrown her words back at her. She sat as the last of the tears flowed. Now to tell the Mommy.
Oh Joy...
AN: Hey. Promise to make the next chappie longer IF i get at least 5 reviews. From different people. This is the way it should have gone down. If Rory wasn a wimp And Stars Hollow was sane.
- VartanLover OUT!