Disclaimer: What? You heard that I own Phil of the Future. I heard the same thing, but I'm pretty sure it's just a rumor.
Nose Powdering
by CraftyNotepad
-O-
"Mr. Hackett is seeing Miss Mayberry now."
"Yeah, right."
"I swear!"
"She wouldn't touch him with a three-meter pole."
"I heard she likes ..."
Gossip, it continues to flow before the mirrors in the girls' 2nd floor bathroom at H. G. Wells Jr./Sr. High School. If not for class and the dismissal bell, the flow of misinformation in this room would qualify as perpetual motion. Six grade levels of feminine intelligence without serious attempts at editing. Rumors, some are ridiculous, like the Hackett-Mayberry one, but there are other sorts, too.
...
"... and then he said, 'well, if that's the way you want it, I hope you and my brother are very happy together!"
"So, what did Via do?"
"Oh, you know Miss Via. She denied everything. Said she didn't even know they were brothers."
"Yeah, right."
"I swear. Then, he hurled his physics book at her. Missed, but she was shocked. Running, he was about to attack her when ..."
"What 'when?' When what?"
"Anyone got a hair scrunchie I could borrow?"
"Here, I still have a drawer full. Take two. Just finish your story."
"Mark's brother was about to punch out Via, when suddenly there's a wall that appears between the two of them out of nowhere."
"A wall?"
"A gorgeous wall - the first string of the H. G. Wells Astronauts. They simply all stepped in at once as if they had just broken out of a huddle."
"And?"
"So, the players part, like automatic doors at the mall and Bruno steps forward. He goes up to the guy and whispers sumpthin'. Never touched him, but the front of the guy's trousers changed color."
"Back, too, I'll bet."
"Yeah!"
"So, what'd Bruno do then?"
"Well, Denise heard that Via's now dating the entire first string, brothers or not."
"NO."
"YES."
"NO!"
"I Swear. Denise swears it's true. I swear."
"Wonder what'll happen to Owen. Think he'll keep trying?"
All the girls in the lavatory join in, "Oh-Wen will he ever give up?" Laughter follows the running gag, concerning Oh-Wen will he get a date?
"Does anyone have Owen's number handy?" Several did, and were kidded for having his phone number so at the ready.
Boop bOOp BeeP
"Put it on speaker phone. Hurry!"
"Hello Owen," sang out a melodious voice packed with artificial affection.
"Hello. Owen is not available at the moment. May I take a message?" offered a calm feminine voice with a subtle British accent.
The call ended abruptly as the bathroom reverberated in a multitude of screams, followed by "Did you hear?", "That was ...", and "Oh, My, God!." Runners were quickly dispatched to the other restrooms on campus to spread the news flash. A lipstick was brought out to draw a heart, plus sign and two short names on the bathroom mirror so no one would miss it, especially Via.
"What's Olivia going to say when she see that?"
"What's Via going to see when she sees what?" asked a new voice behind the clucking hens. Goat Droppings! It was Keely Teslow! Since when did she use this restroom at this time of the day? WHat would Via say? Oh, Bolocks!
The mob motioned toward the door, only to be restrained by the reputation of one of the most popular girls in the tenth grade. Everyone froze waiting for Queen Keely to command them. Keely Teslow may be (okay, she is) emotionally flighty, ditzy, blonde, possessing of a remaining superficial streak, materialistic - especially in the footwear arena, head in the clouds, highly distractible, (somebody stop me!) ... but she is also loyal. When she says something, she means it, and she called Via "friend." Her majesty's orders were extraordinarily terse, considering they were coming from her.
"Stop."
"Fix it."
Next, she eyed each and every double X chromosome touting face in the room, just so they'd know she knew who they were later if her instructions were not followed to the letter. Then she washed her hands, dried them, and exited the chamber.
...
Downstairs, a group of eighth graders had, upon hearing the word, clammed up about Olivia ... but had then started in on a new subject: "What blonde reporter was seen arriving at what "friendboy's" house late at night and never seen to leave?
This might have died out from starvation of facts if Candida hadn't stirred her listeners into a frenzy. Oh, once upon a time, not so long ago, she, too, had Keely Teslow on a pedestal, but now her heroine had fallen. Teslow had place personal fulfillment over upholding the code of the cliche. In truth, Keely, along with her gal pal, Tia Chen, had been H. G. Wells royalty for so long that it took quite some time before die hard believers in the social structure like Candida Keagle really believed that Keely had abandoned popularity for something - else. Well, no more. Teslow may still have enough clout to order a rumor about a nobody like Via killed, but that just place Keely in the limelight. Oh, yes, Keagle would make her former idol center stage once again.
Louella Parsons would have been surely beaming with pride at her pseudo offspring, Candida. "A mountain out of a molehill?" Candida could raise the Alps from the merest grain of NaCl, and still let it sting like rock salt in your eyes. Pim's nemesis was a mistress of the craft of saying without actually saying, the art of implying was raised to a science under Candida's supervision, and if she was this powerful now, imagine her as a senior. Before the passing bell rang, there were a half-dozen half-truths ready to be spread by the female half of the student body. These were intelligent, usually compassionate classmates, not half-wits, but there was something very seductive about a juicy rumor, demanding that it not be ignore, but be shared, spread, like ripples in a pond or a social disease. Yes, that's what they were, a "communicative" social disease, and one made all the more contagious in an age of text, twitter, skype and, one day, the Giggle.
Over the next few days, the rumors encircling Phil and Keely tightened ever more. Eventually, both of them began to notice prolonged stares, whispers, and hushed voices wherever they went. Uneasiness resulted, even paranoia, considering Phil's family's unofficial status as citizens of Pickford. It was good old Owen who spilled the beans. As soon as the first rumor caught up to him, he updated Phil right away about Keely really being Phil's first cousin. Phil laughed it off. Keely was less amused. Then more and more of the rumors and their permutations arrived on their doorsteps - nothing to laugh about. Keely was developing dark circles around her eyes from crying and the lack of sleep; Phil was so touchy now that even Pim gave him a wide berth. What to do, what to do? Which future gadget would rectify this dilemma? The Giggle had already told them who started the rumors, so Pim had potential new members for her "Crush Candida Club," and "Have You Slayed A Fashion Zombie Today" organization, but you know Keely and Phil, they like to take the high road. They just didn't know how.
...
The following day, it wasn't any better at school. It was worse. Rumors weren't being whispered behind their backs any longer. Emboldened by what had gone unchallenged, and, therefore, according the the school code, must be fact, students were now making comments as if Diffy and Teslow couldn't hear them. Voices were raised, inside jokes were laughed aloud in their faces with key words that everyone, but their targets were in on.
Lunch time, a word uttered intended to hurt had succeeded. Collapsing into Phil's arms, Keely broke down into tears. Sobbing followed. The antagonist? Phil didn't recognize her. She didn't matter, not to him. Only Keely mattered. Ever since he arrived in this century, his parents thought that he had adapted well, but they were mistaken. He was all about Keely and making sure she was happy, successful, and safe. He had always had her back, but now this was happening and he didn't ... No! He'd had enough!
"Come here, Keely," he gentle ushered her toward the flagpole, then urged to stand upon the bench beside it. She shook her head "no," but he was persistent. "Can I have everybody's attention please? We have an announcement." Even with everyone crowding around in their direction, you could have heard ketchup being squirted in the cafeteria in the next building if you tried. "There's been a lot of loose talk recently, badly crafted rumors, and outright lies. You've trusted Keely and I to always bring you the truth in her morning reports, so you deserve no less now. This is the truth about Keely and me." The crowd stopped breathing and, just for a moment, Phil preferred them staying that way, but this wasn't about them at all. Keely, with her tearstained face, had been watching Phil atop his soapbox, listening like the rest, and just as clueless as their audience as to what her boyfriend was going to say next. Was he going to tell everyone that he was from the future? This was all her fault. If she hadn't ...
Phil kissed her. He kissed her right on the mouth, oblivious to her tears and runny nose. He knew Keely to be wonderful, and warm, and caring, and he wanted everyone there to witness this first hand, be happy for them or envious - didn't matter. What mattered was how he felt about Keely Teslow - let them spread the word about that.
...
Rumors ran rampant after that. Whispering increased, and, oh, how their classmates stared. It was different this time, though, for Keely, and that was all that mattered. She just smiled when she was grilled in the girls' bathroom about whether or not Phil was a good kisser, if she knew if he wore boxers or briefs - was it true she bought them for him, were they secretly engaged, ...? Rumors, they didn't bother Keely in the least, not any longer, and Candida? Well, hard to say. No one ever spoke of her again.
~
fin
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