All's Fair in Love and Christmas

It wasn't that Matthew had never seen anyone dressed up as Santa. After all, he was no stranger to the long lines of kids waiting for their turn to sit on Santa's lap in the middle of the mall while their parents snapped pictures. He could even recall, centuries back, when he was still young and Arthur had lived with him for a while in various villages scattered around the Canadian wilderness, a few jolly old figures around this time of year.

It's just that Matthew never expected Santa to come barreling through his bedroom door, jump on his bed, and yank him from a pleasant sleep to a painful tangle of elbows and knees.

"What are you –" He yelped, curling into a ball as best he could to avoid any injuries.

"It's Christmas!" Alfred shouted happily, sprawled on top of Matthew and his bedmates.

"Are you absolutely out of your mind!" Arthur shoved Alfred's arm off of his chest and sat up, glaring at him. "What are you, five years old?"

On his side of the bed, Francis just sighed. "I knew I should have been suspicious that you wanted to get up earlier than Arthur."

"You let him do this?" Arthur demanded.

"Hey, this was all my idea –" Alfred protested.

Francis started at the same time, "He just wanted to get out of bed, hardly a crime –"

"Merry Christmas everyone!" Everyone fell silent and looked at Matthew guiltily.

Matthew sighed and motioned at Alfred to get up. He scooted off and stood at the end of the huge bed, looking sulky. "Come on, let me off." With a fair bit of grumbling, Arthur got up as well, allowing Matthew to reach the ground and stand. Francis heaved another sigh and slid off his side.

Matthew rubbed his forehead. "Okay guys, Alfred has started us off this morning with plenty of holiday spirit. Let's get dressed and enjoy Christmas, okay?"

Alfred stuck his tongue out at Arthur's quiet "hmph", but otherwise the three of them filtered out of the shared master bedroom relatively peacefully to their personal rooms.

Making his way to his wardrobe, Matthew immediately snagged his red maple leaf hoodie, shrugged on some jeans, and ran his fingers through his hair. His presents for the others had been the first ones sitting under the tree two weeks ago, plainly but neatly wrapped. He just had to get the cards out from his desk drawer, and then he was set to go downstairs.

He sat down next to Alfred, who was already eagerly sitting by the tree with a huge red bag next to him. Matthew swept an eye over the presents under the tree, taking in Arthur's presents, which had appeared a few nights back, wrapped in white but with his writing scrawled all over them, and Francis's presents, which he assumed Francis must have placed there overnight, with a fancy bow glittering on each one.

"Never do that again," Arthur said as he descended the staircase, dressed in his usual turtleneck and jumper combination.

"Sorry if I gave you a heart attack, old man," Alfred grinned wickedly.

Arthur snorted and punched him in the arm as he sat down next to him. Alfred leaned in, but Arthur just raised an eyebrow and he withdrew, pouting. Arthur deigned to rest his head on Alfred's shoulder. "It's far too early for your shenanigans."

"Old," Alfred mouthed to Matthew, who had to cover his mouth to hide his smile. He turned as he heard a creak on the staircase behind him.

Francis let out a yawn as he stretched, the front of his shirt sliding up to show a bit of skin.

"It's far too early for your shenanigans," Alfred said, immediately cracking up, earning himself a scowl and shove from Arthur and amused laughter from both Matthew and Francis.

"The old Grinch has been at it already, huh," Francis chuckled as he settled between Arthur and Matthew, closing the small circle.

"I am not a Grinch –" Arthur said hotly, only to be cut off by Francis's lips against his.

"Hey, no fair! How come you let him kiss you?"

"All's fair in love and war," Francis purred.

"You are unbelievable –"

"Presents!" Matthew said loudly, grabbing one of his and shoving it towards Arthur. He quickly found the matching card and slid it across as well. "Merry Christmas! Open the card!"

Arthur cast a dark look at Francis before he slid his card out of the envelope. Looking at it, his face immediately softened. "Oh, Matthew, this is beautiful." He held up the card with a hand-drawn picture of himself and his fairy friends on it for the rest of the group to admire.

Blushing slightly, Matthew nudged the gift towards Arthur. He unwrapped it, taking care not to rip the paper too much, and revealed a hand-bound book with the simple title "Folktales".

"Did you draw all of these yourself?" Arthur asked softly as he flipped through the pages, brushing his fingers over the colourful illustrations.

Matthew ducked his head. "Yeah. I hope they're okay. I tried my best to get all the stories right ..."

"I'm sure they're perfectly fine," Arthur said reassuringly.

Matthew smiled. He noticed Alfred leaning in towards him eagerly and decided to deliver another present, picking a parcel off the pile. Handing it to Francis, he watched Alfred's face fall immediately into a pout.

"Wait your turn," he teased, resting his chin on Alfred's shoulder.

"You better be saving the best for last," Alfred huffed, but he turned his head anyway and kissed Matthew's nose.

"Sure thing," Matthew said agreeably, laughing when Alfred was unable to contain an excited grin.

"There's no way yours is going to beat mine," Arthur said, holding his book up proudly. Alfred just stuck his tongue out in response.

"Or mine," Francis broke in. He looked at Matthew and just shook his head, a smile of wonder on his face and his present open on his lap. "You translated an entire novel by hand, you amazing fool."

Matthew shrugged and waved the compliment away with a blush. "It wasn't such a big deal. I just thought you'd enjoy a more personal touch, instead of buying a translated copy that someone else had made."

"The card's amazing as well." Arthur and Alfred leaned in to see as Francis held up a sheet of poetry, written in calligraphy. "You're so amazing, Mathieu."

"It's really nothing," Matthew insisted, giving a small squeak as Francis swept him into a fierce hug.

Alfred poked Matthew in the side, inciting an involuntary squawk.

"Patience," Matthew said scoldingly as he drew back from Francis.

Francis just laughed. "Another Prince Charming is demanding your attention right now, mon cher."

Matthew just rolled his eyes with a smile and reached over to snag the last present he had wrapped under the tree. "Here. I hope you enjoy. Open the card first – "

Alfred tossed the card aside and tore into the wrapping paper eagerly, emerging triumphantly with a box of ...

"All the War of 1812 stuff that was released this year," Matthew offered promptly, seeing Alfred's look of confusion. "I had to deal with it incessantly all year, so I figured you might as well join in on a little. Look, it even has a little model of the burning White House."

Alfred just looked at him without comprehension, his face downcast.

Francis snorted, burying his face in Arthur's shoulder as he laughed. "He looks like such a disappointed little puppy."

"You better get the real one," Arthur advised Matthew, not even bothering to conceal his sniggering. Alfred looked utterly betrayed as he stared down at the gift in his lap. "I think he's about to cry."

Alfred perked up slightly and looked at Matthew.

"You should have seen your face," Matthew cackled, grabbing Alfred for a kiss. "You looked so devastated."

"That was meaaaaaan!" Alfred wailed, jumping to his feet.

"That's what you get for not opening the card first!" Matthew retorted, shoving it into his hand with a grin. "I even outlined it for you in here."

Alfred yanked the card out and read out loud, "Hey Al, I know there's no way you're going to read this first, so I'm just going to go head and warn you that I'm pranking you this morning with a phony present before giving you your real one. It's not mean if I give you a warning! Merry Christmas!"

"Told you!" Matthew shouted, running off to get the real present from his room before Alfred could descend into a fully indignant mood. He pulled a large package down from the top shelf of his closet and bounded back down the stairs, offering it to Alfred with a huge grin.

Alfred snatched it from his hand and punched him in the shoulder. "Never do that again!"

"Read the cards I give you!" Matthew retorted. Alfred turned away, but Matthew caught the guilty smile on his face. He waited patiently behind Alfred, listening to the sound of ripping paper.

"Whoa," Alfred gasped, spinning around to look at Matthew again. "You didn't."

"I even got it signed on the inside, see?"

"Did you make this?"

"Uh, well, the guys at the props department kind of gave me some pointers, but yeah, I guess – "

Matthew was cut off as Alfred tackled him to the ground. "Thank you thank you thank you! You're sooo amazing!"

"This really is quite impressive," Arthur said, picking up the shield that Alfred had dropped to jump on Matthew. "Modeled after Captain America's, I suppose?"

"Matthew has a good eye," Francis agreed, running his finger over it.

"I only changed the design a little bit," Matthew gasped, trying to wriggle out of Alfred's tenacious grasp. "Just thought I could make it more for you, you know, I hope that's okay Al – "

"It's great!" Alfred shouted, squeezing Matthew even tighter.

"You're hurting him," Arthur said with some exasperation, coming over to tug at Alfred's arm.

Francis joined them as well. "No keeping Mathieu all to yourself!"

"All's fair in love and war!" Alfred shot right back.

Arthur and Francis gave each other a quick look and Arthur nodded. Alfred yelped as they both dove in to tickle his sides, forcing him to relinquish his hold on Matthew.

"I'll get you!" Alfred yelled, pulling Francis down. Arthur hastily jumped out of the way and Matthew scuttled to the side as well, watching the other two wrestle until Alfred had Francis pinned on the ground.

"What are you going to do with me now?" Francis asked, looking up at Alfred innocently.

Alfred grinned and swooped down for a kiss, muffling Francis's laugh.

Arthur raised an eyebrow at Matthew. "I think they're rather excluding us from the fun, don't you? Must be terribly dull without us, really."

"We better crash the party," Matthew agreed, glancing at where Francis and Alfred were making out. He slid over and asked, "Room for two more?"

"Always," Francis said, pulling him into a kiss before his hands wandered downwards. Matthew watched out of the corner of his eye as Arthur approached Alfred, who eagerly allowed his head to be guided down to the opening of Arthur's jeans. Alfred and Francis still had their hands linked as they explored with their new partners.

"This is a nice gift," Matthew joked, nipping at the back of Alfred's neck.


Some time later, all four of them lay satisfied and content in a heap on the rug in the center of the room, their clothes strewn around them haphazardly.

Matthew heard Francis give out a breathy laugh.

"We still have a bunch of presents to open," he said, fingers idly tracing the contour of Arthur's collarbones. "I do hope this happens every round."

Alfred sat upright excitedly. "Oh yeah! More presents!" Drawing a snort and a smile from Arthur and laughter from Francis and Matthew, he darted back to the tree. "Come on, who's next?"

"Let's have breakfast first," Arthur suggested, trying to get up as well despite Francis and Matthew both still half-sprawled over him.

"Wanna help me make pancakes?" Matthew asked, just as Alfred's stomach rumbled.

"I guess that would be okay," Alfred said sheepishly, leaving to the tree to sit next to them.

Matthew got to his feet and picked his jeans up from the couch beside him. Hopping into them, he made his way to the kitchen, listening with a smile to the teasing and chatter of the other three as they followed him. He felt a hand squeeze his ass firmly and shot an accusing glare at Francis, who merely winked. Shaking his head, he turned his attention instead to his fridge.

"Okay, who wants to do the eggs?"

"Me! Me!"

"I can melt the butter, if you – "

"You are going to stay away from the kitchen – "

"I am perfectly capable, thank you very much – "

Smiling, Matthew took out the butter and put it on the counter. Alfred was eagerly cracking open the eggs over the sink, while Francis steered a protesting Arthur firmly towards the breakfast table. Snow had started to fall, blurring the winter scene visible through the window.

"Merry Christmas!" Matthew said spontaneously, raising a measuring cup in mock cheers.

Alfred, Arthur, and Francis answered, "Merry Christmas!"


A/N - This was for the FACE Secret Santa over on Tumblr. Hope you enjoyed !