Blow Me One Last Kiss
Once upon a time he was my best friend. That was until we got a distance of 1,277.3 miles between us. But we were falling apart a LONG time before that.
It just slowly faded away. One day he was standing by my side and the next... he was a stranger with the face of a friend; end of story. Now all that stands out are the differences between our past and present, but I've learned to live with it.
After all, it's not too bad when you're following your dreams of becoming a songwriter in New York while he's in Miami trying to make as a pop star. I can let you know that there are lots of distractions in this amazing city. The problem with today, unlike many others, is that there is nothing that can distract my thoughts from him. The reason is because he is here... in New York... to visit me.
In fact right now I am driving to the airport to pick him up. I feel like screaming at myself for going in the first place.
You see, I only see him as a buddy of hi and bye status and no longer as my best friend. I would have sent him to the curve too, if it wasn't for his serious tone that made me feel like his world was crashing down when he called me at ten in the night.
Ugh! Curse me for having such a weak heart. He always told me that this quality of mine was going to come back to bite me.
As I pull up to the airport's driveway, I see him waiting patiently with his suite case in his hand. He hasn't changed a bit. He has the same hair cut, same style of clothes and I even think he's wearing the same pair of sneakers when he told me goodbye two years ago.
I have no clue what made it so necessary for him to come and visit me NOW. He promised me too many times before that he was going to come and visit but it always ended the same, "I'm sorry but, (enter excuse at the moment). I promise to go the next time."
Yea, after hearing his empty promises for a while, it only made me realized how much happier I am when he's not around. It wasn't like I was going to wait forever for him to get his head screwed on right. I had to move on even if I didn't want to. He chose to become distant. I only chose to react.
I honk my horn to let him acknowledge me. Swiftly he moves towards my car and puts his belongings in my trunk.
As he sits down and buckles up, we don't share a word. Not even the single freaking word of hello is shared between us. That just shows how messed up our relationship is.
The whole ride back to my apartment is silent. I guess he found himself in the same position as me. We both haven't talked in the longest time that now we seemed to have lost our voices in the presence of one another.
Well to be quite honest, there's nothing else to be said. We've shared every word that the other needed to hear. Plus, we've based our friendship on lies for quite a while now that anything we hear coming from the other person's mouth only leaves us wondering if they're saying the truth or not.
We make our way into my apartment and he gets situated in the guest room as I make some coffee for us. I know that he didn't say much on the ride back but something tells me that he's not going to be able to shut up in a matter of a few seconds. Call it intuition if you have to.
I finish serving it in cups to find him leaning on the doorframe staring at me. He has the same childish smile that once made my heart beats speed up but now it seems to have no affect at all.
He stiffly makes his way to a chair and sits down as I take the chair that's across from him.
Everything is so damn loud. The clink of the spoon to the edge of the cup stands out, the clock ticking stands out, the sounds of cars and streets make it seem as if we're standing right in the middle of Central Park... but we're not.
After a few more seconds of quietness he finally decides to speak up, "how you've been?"
Seriously? This boy came all the way from Miami, he woke me up from my beauty sleep at ten o'clock tonight to tell me to go pick him up after ignoring me for the past year, to only ask me how I've been!?
I feel annoyed at him for the stupidness of his question. I thought he knew me better than that.
"That's all you have to ask?" I say in a frustrated tone.
I'm staring him down, trying to find any hint of hesitation in his decision of coming to visit me. Apparently he knows me too well, because he has his poker face.
He's being too serious to be the same boy I left in Miami. He looks too mature to be the immature child that always made me help him clean up his mess. I'm not sure if I like it though. I used to wish that he would grow up but seeing him like this scares me more.
"You're right Ally. I didn't come all this way to ask you how I've been when I could've just called you," he says in a suggestive tone.
I have my guard up but who wouldn't? It's only a long lost friend whom you told all your secrets to, that could use them against you, sitting in your kitchen about to ask you something that you have no clue what it could be about.
He stares at me intensely but as he begins to voice his thoughts, his eyes gradually shift to his cup.
"What happened to us?" He asked in a depressive tone.
I feel like I'm caught off guard. I was prepared to answer every question he asked me except for this one. We never once acknowledge the truth of our friendship falling apart. We simply chose to ignore it. And I'm not about to change this now.
"What do you mean? Aren't you here in my house visiting me?" I retaliate, but my voice seems too weak and surprised to actually be taken serious.
His head shoots up at hearing my words and man have I pissed him off.
"Cut the loose interpretations. We both know that we haven't been truly friends since you moved to New York!" He yells in a whisper.
He runs his fingers through his hair and I know he's frustrated. He always does that when he is.
I stay quiet. I have nothing to say about the topic that he's trying to bring into the light. I have made my peace with our friendship ending with no goodbye and I have accepted the idea of not having him as my best friend anymore. I don't need him to come up her and switch my thoughts about us to only see him leave once again to Miami and forget about me as soon as a blond bimbo walks in front of him!
"You know we should go check out Central Park before you leave," I tell him in an attempt to switch the conversation.
I get up and put my cup into the dish washer but as soon as I turn around I see a disappointed Austin. For a second he looks like the same boy that saved me from the own crazy messes I found myself in, but then reality has to hit me. It's been years since he's been Austin and even longer since we've been Austin and Ally.
"Ally we both know that since you've moved it's only made our relationship more complicated. Now stop acting likes child and sit down to talk about it like the responsible one you always used to say you were back in Miami. Or has New York changed you that much?" He tells me in an over confident tone that makes me want to slap the smirk off his face.
Nope this isn't the Austin I knew. He isn't the same boy who once held the key to my heart. In fact I don't even think I want to see this hideous boy in front of me until he brings that old Austin back.
I let out a gasp as I register his words of calling me a child. I am the mature one in this relationship. No one can tell me other wise. And he's putting the whole freaking fault on me?! Hells no! He is just as guilty as I am.
"Austin, me moving had NOTHING to do with the fact that our friendship died!" I yell back him; any patience that I had just went out the window.
He has this determination in his eyes and he looks angry at my response. We're both glaring at each other while trying not to kill one another. In my defense he started it so now he should take hat ever I say like the adult he claims to be.
We don't move for a few seconds; letting silence sneak it's way in to our conversation. We can hear our steady breaths. We don't dare to make a Duden movement.
In a painful voice he utters, "it's been two long damn years since I've seen you. Don't tell me that you moving away had nothing to do with our relationship dying."
He still doesn't want to acknowledge the truth of us being way over before I even thought of moving. In if he wants to point fingers then I can do that. In fact I can be way much more honest than he can!
"Well me moving to New York couldn't have destroyed our friendship because you can't break something that was never there to began with!" I scream at him with full force.
He looks stunned. I bet he wasn't expecting me to blow up like this but after seeing him walk out of my life it snapped something in me. I no longer let other people put words into my mouth. No, I chose my own words.
" we wouldn't be broken if you had chosen to stick around!" He yells back with the same amount of intensity.
Before I know it things get out of control. There's name calling, bad words flying everywhere, and most of all, our voices trying to drown out the other. It seems like we're competing to see who can say the worst thing about the other first.
Any respect we had for each other is lost and it's just like old times. This is one of the reasons why I moved. I got so damn tired of hearing him calling me an over controlling bitch who couldn't have fun even if her life depended on it! It's all back to square one with both of us biting at each others throats.
"Well if you really wanted to fight for our friendship why didn't't you try to fucking stop me!?" I scream right in his face.
I look around to see that we've managed to trash my apartment along with the argument we're having. Man is this boy dead!
I'm going to tell him something about the mess when he catches me off guard by saying, "because I freaking love you! I loved you too much to let you suffer in Miami when I could see you itching to go to New York to follow your dreams. I love you too damn much to keep pretending that I don't miss you back at Miami and tell myself that I don't call you because your busy when the truth is that it hurts me that you are moving on as I feel myself drowning. I love you too much that I came on this surprise visit selfish to get you to realize how much I care and how much I want you back."
This can't be happening. No I got over him when he started to push me off to the side. He made me move when I saw him ignoring me and it attempting to fix our friendship that was starting to come undone. He can't just sow p, tell me that he loves me to only expect me to fall into his arms. This isn't a fairy tale but reality. And sadly in reality happy ever afters don't exist.
I'm shaking my head before I say, "we should go to bed and talk about this in the morning when we have clear heads."
I'm making my way to my room when I get pulled by Austin grabbing onto my wrist. This boy just does't know when to give up does he?
Suddenly I don't feel too in control. I feel my heart beating out if my chest and the pounding of it is heard in my ears. I have massive butterflies and all I can blame it is on the fact that my best friend has the most beautiful eyes that you can get yourself lost in.
I try my best to hide any emotion as I tell him to get off me.
"Tell me you don't love me and I'll let you go," he tells me in a decisive tone.
I close my eyes in frustration as I bite one my tongue. This boy will be the death of me.
"Austin it's been a long day or night. Can you please just let me go!?" I plead to him as if my life depended on it.
Trying to avoid his question only encourages him to bring me closer to him. Soon I'm in his arms and there is no space between us. Our foreheads are touching and our lips are centimeters away.
I feel his hot breath on my face as he says, "Tell me that being this close to you don't make your heart rate speed up and I'll walk out your life. All you have to do is telling something along those lines and I'll call a taxi to come and pick me up. But you have to say something Ally."
Ugh! Why does this boy need to know me so well? Why does he have to make me feel things that no one else seems to be able to give me? I bring my hands in fist as a sign of my frustration before I say "I hate you so much! That I never knew how much I could hate. I hate how you woke me up in the middle of the night way past my bed time to pick you up. I hate how you stopped calling me after a while and how you would ignore the fact that we were sinking like titanic. I hate it how you know me too well for my own damn good! And the fact that your smile with your eyes can make me go insane!"
I take a few deep breaths to catch my breathe. After a second or so I continue.
" But most of all, I hate how much I love you. It doesn't even allow me to hate you the slightest bit when I want my heart so bad to."
My jagged breath is the only thing heard as he takes in everything I had to tell him. So much for believing that everything had been said between us.
I feel so vulnerable at the thought that he knows exactly what I feel. Before I can do anything I find myself kissing Austin flipping Moon!
It's everything that I ever expected it to be. And suddenly all the things that seemed to brought us apart are pushed to the forgotten as we realize that we just fixed the little problem that was making us come undone.
When we pull apart and stare into each other's eyes I know that right now it does't matter where we stand because some how we've just managed to bring it back altogether. We don't share another single word but we don't have to. Everything that needed to be said is shared through that one last first kiss.
A/N: so here's another one shot. Hoped you guys liked it and i promise to update on Saturday because tomorrow I have a soccer game that is basically taking my whole day from 12 in the afternoon to seven in the night. If you haven't guessed it, inspiration came from pink's song blow me one last kiss. Hoped you liked it. Review please?:)
Btw have a wonderful day or goodnight!
oh and this is a special treat in case the world does end which I'm hoping it doesn't because my vacation of Christmas break just started and I'm really hoping to enjoy it more than just four ours in the morning befowe soccer takes over. So yea sun til next time!
smileysteph