Ah, I think I might have gone insane

And the cold, unfeeling touch of iron

Against my skin

And the rusted bars of the cell unforgiving dig against my brain

An icy prison from within

Ah, but when, whenever have I truly been

A free man meant ever to attain

A sniff of a chance to begin

A life where I am not in chains

Assailed by the gangrening breath of

All the inferior and the stained

Must I play God and Saint?

With toys and blocks as of a child

With blood and bone to be my icons

And the rotting taint

Of flesh, this pale prison of

Bloody torment vile

They ask

And needle

And judge

And cast me out

As if

I were to twist the natural way

Alone in my lust

As if all the while

Their jealous, envious, unwashed voices say

"He is man yet he tromps in the domain of God

"Fucking brazenly with the twisted stitchings he essays"

But I am forged stronger, kissed by deeper fire

Breathing deep the primal scent of skin

As I rise ever higher

In my creation

Bone and brain and magic and marrow

Made and married

And meant to harrow

This is,

And yes has always been

My calling

But maybe I cannot remember

Or maybe it was never meant

That in the dregs of some December

I was supposed to then repent

And beg on dirtied hands and knees

That please, oh please, oh please!

May I be forgiven then?

Master, father, forgive me these

My trespasses

And throw myself

Upon their mercy

Toss myself

On their forgiveness and martyr

Myself on the slathered stake of God

Well,

Well!

I'll never stoop to be their cur!

Or renounce this search that I have took

Or stop for even a single beat

To give my heart a blurry look

At the guileless

Simple fools I must defeat

Or yield and spare a second's hook

To unravel the long entangled threads

Of all these tapestries dark and light

and pink and white

and red and blue

Contorted, woven round my neck

Nor can I never be made to stop

evading these bloody things

That hound me tireless

Maddening they close their clamps and

Bury me deep beneath the

Greying dust of bones and cobwebs, these

Lost and fading memories of

A glass man's foolish utopia

Leave me alone!

Never allowed to breathe unfollowed, not a second, not a single sift of sand to spend alone

Entombed beneath this desert sun, wretched compunctions

Returned to drown these damn (cursedunwantedunrealfalsefak e !) memories again

Given form and feet to run

Alone, unguarded in my headleave! leave, leaveleaveleave this worthless attic! and

Let me to my pain!