ahahaha what is this?

Well it's not a new chapter of Nostalgia like I should be working on, that is for damn sure. Why am I writing this? I have no idea. I started this a few weeks ago, the day before I took my road test, and here we go. Based on the old Hetalia oneshot I wrote when I was in eighth grade called Sexting, and I was like, you know what? I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.

Hinata was, for whatever reason, my first victim.


All the boys of the Karasuno Volleyball Team were beyond shocked to discover that their little decoy managed to score a date with [First Name, Last Name].

And not just one date. Oh, no. Two, then three, then four and five, until one day Nishinoya and Tanaka - the only ones brave enough to ponder aloud - confronted the small, small boy on how he had possibly managed to swoop up the classmate they'd been trying for months to flirt with.

"I didn't do anything!" he had assured them, clutching onto the volleyball in his arms. Tanaka and Nishinoya had leaned into him, their cheeks puffed out in disbelief. "I just talked to them! I needed the chemistry homework, and [Name] had it, and offered to tutor me!"

Chemistry homework. They would have to remember that.

The volleyball team had begun to lose track of how many months [Name] and Hinata had been together. And, as much as it pained several of them to admit, they were positively adorable together. [Name] was always there to cheer at every game and practice match - occasionally even at practice, if they had no homework, and the whole team had quickly gotten use to their appearance. Always teetering on the level of sickeningly cute, doodling on each other's faces when they'd fall asleep at one another's houses and sending mass text pictures to all of their contacts.

"Where's [Name]-chan?!" asked Nishinoya as practice came to an end, glancing around the doors of the gym. [Name] was normally there - even if they hadn't stayed for practice, they would trek their way back up to the school to walk home with Hinata if they could.

"They had a lot of homework. [Name]-chan couldn't make it, Noya-senpai!" replied the boy, reaching into his bag for his phone to check what texts and emails [Name] had sent him while he'd been busy with practice.

"I hope they can come tomorrow, and with more of those cakes they made us last week!" said Tanaka as he bounded down the steps of the gym towards his underclassman, clapping him on his back just a little too hardly.

He laughed, with little coughs breaking out and sputtering through, and, from his hands, his phone dropped to the ground and clattered there, where the screen gave off an illuminating square in the darkness.

"Ah, they should be able to! As long as Maaka doesn't give us too much work," Hinata said, and Tanaka rolled his eyes with a mutter of, "Maaka fucking sucks."

"Oh, here, Shoy-"

Nishinoya completely froze, bent down to pick up Hinata's phone on the ground, his smile still plastered to his face, his skin ashen however.

"Hm? What's wrong, Noya-"

Nishinoya suddenly shot up, and the boys all jumped back from him, for his face was a bright, bright red.

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND," he yelled out, his voice breaking and going up several octaves, a finger jabbed towards Hinata, and the younger boy started. The flustered boy's voice echoed throughout the schoolyard, drawing the eyes of all the remaining volleyball team milling around.

"I-I - What, Noya-senpai?..." asked Hinata, and Nishinoya jumped and reached up, tugging at his on hair with a loud, high-pitched groan.

"What's gotten into you?" asked Tanaka, reaching down to Hinata's phone when Nishinoya's wide-eyed gaze turned to it. "Seriously-" he began as he up-righted himself, turning towards the screen where his eyes also grew large, and his cheeks grew pink, and his ears blew steam.

"[Name]... chan..." he muttered, his jaw going slack, staring for several beats before wheeling to the still-confused Hinata.

"YOU!" he screamed, and, from ahead of them, Daichi yelled at him to be quiet. "HOW... HOW?!"

"YOU TWO YELLING IS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY!" Daichi shouted as he headed towards them, and Tanaka wildly shook his as he shoved the phone into his captain's hands, Sugawara and Asahi gathered at his shoulders - poor, poor Asahi seemed to grow faint, and he had to sit down on the gym steps for a moment; Daichi's shoulders tensed up, and he cleared his throat, looking away; while Sugawara swiped the hone out of his hands, passing it back to Hinata. Kageyama leaned over his shoulder to get a glance of the interest, though he choked on his juice and had to quickly turn away, banging his head against the bricks of the gym wall.

"Don't show other people's private pictures!" said Sugawara, giving a light whack to both Tanaka and Nishinoya's heads; they bowed, their eyes staring to the ground.

"He already has [Name]... He doesn't have to rub it in our faces..." muttered Tanaka, and Daichi was broken from his spell, turning towards them.

"YOU TWO RUBBED IT IN YOUR OWN FACES!"

Hinata hesitated, glancing down to his own phone, though, at seeing the object of his team's embarrassment, he jumped to attention, clutching his phone to his chest. [Name]-chan would kill him if they found out anybody else had seen their private photos...

"You betrayed us, Shoyo..." grumbled Nishinoya to the ground.

"It was a surprise enough that he's dating someone, but that he gets sent nasty pictures...!"

"D-don't call them that, Tanaka-senpai!" squeaked out Hinata, his face aflame.

"Don't you two tell anyone else about [Name]-chan's and Hinata-kun's private business." Sugawara said, his arms folded across his chest. They gave solemn nods, glancing to each other out of the corners of their eyes.

"We wouldn't do that to [Name]-chan..." they muttered, and the third-year nodded his head, looking to Hinata.

"Hinata," he began, reaching out to place a hand to his shoulder; he jumped, his eyes turning towards Sugawara, who gave him a small, reassuring smile.

"May I give you some advice?" he pondered, and Hinata hesitated, his phone still held tightly to his chest.

"Y-yes, Sugawara-senpai?..."

"Might I suggest putting a lock on your phone?"


The next day, [Name] was indeed there to watch practice; they bounded into the gym, throwing open the door and grinning at the practicing team.

"Hello!" they called.

Asahi had to sit down on the floor, his hand held to his head, which those around him could hear thumping; the ball Kageyama had been setting came sailing down onto his head, though it didn't seem to matter too much, for he wheeled on his heel so his back faced [Name] and staggered forward to lean his forehead against the cool brick wall; Tanaka fell back into Tsukishima, who pushed him away with a scoff, and, instead, he fell to the floor, Nishinoya sprawled out on his back beside him. Sugawara was patting a red-faced Hinata's back, and Daichi's shoulders had tensed once again before he saw how confused [Name] looked in the doorway, and he turned to his team.

"TELL [NAME]-CHAN HELLO." he bellowed, ant they all rose hands in a greeting. Kageyama still had his back turned to them, and was beginning to bounce his forehead up and down off the wall as he waved; Asahi could barely manage to life his hand into the air.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU?! ACT NORMAL AROUND THEM!"

Kageyama gave his forehead one last whack before he turned to face [Name], though, when his eyes met theirs and they grinned at him, he suddenly seemed to swallow his tongue, and he shrank down to his knees, coughing into the floor.

"O-oh, Kageyama-kun, are you okay?!" they cried, going over and crouching down onto the floor with him, where he waved her off.

"I-I'm fine!" he assured to them.

"Don't worry about him, [Name]-chan!" said Sugawara over their shoulder. Looking back to the boy, [Name] was surprised to see such a sweet smile on his face, considering Kageyama seemed to choking at the moment. "Kageyama-kun has been getting sick, lately. Don't worry, we'll take care of him! Why don't you go talk to Hinata-kun? I think he has something to tell you." he said, and [Name] hesitated, their head turning to look at their boyfriend, who was looking at Sugawara with unbelieving eyes.

"He just got thrown under the bus by Suga..." Nishinoya muttered to Tanaka as [Name] approached Hinata - he stared at them for a moment before [Name] suggested they talk outside, and he trailed after them with his eyes downcast as they walked out of the gym.

"We're about to witness a break-up." stated Tanaka, and the boys all stared at the door as it slid shut, praying under their breaths for Hinata.

"He's been out their for awhile..." observed Asahi after several moments, his voice shaky.

"They're having a conversation. I'm sure it's fine." said Sugawara, though his brow was furrowed together just the slightest bit.

And then, suddenly, the door slammed open by [First Name, Last Name] themselves, whose eyes were steel and shoulders were squared. They marched past each and every boy that was still staring, never meeting gazes with any of them, and disappeared into the locker room. All the boys turned and gaze quizzed looks until [Name] reappeared, and they quickly attempted to appear as if they hadn't just been discussing them. A bag was swung over their shoulders, and they walked to the direct middle of the gym and turned to bag over, dumping out all of its contents.

Several ChapSticks - one or two melted - rolled around on the floor; the mess that was Hinata's one house key and twelve key chains clattered against the linoleum; trash, trash, and more trash skittered around; and, finally, amidst the clutter, a phone bounced to the floor.

"SHOYO." [Name] screamed, and the boys all shrank away as Hinata shakily stepped back into the gym. The volleyball team continued their prayers for him as he stepped towards [Name], whose arms were folded over their chest, fingers tapping against their arm.

"Y-yes, [Name]-chan?..." he asked, his voice weak and barely audible.

"PUT A LOCK ON YOUR PHONE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! AND IT BETTER BE OUR ANNIVERSARY, SO HELP ME, SHOYO."


hahahaha here take this.

it's not very good, but! I've had pretty bad writer's block with my actual fics, so whenever I get some kind of inspiration I just sort of leap with it, haha. speaking ooofffff, I've started writing little drabbles based off Taylor Swift songs on my quotev profile, that's under the same username I have on FF, if anybody's interested!

(I might write some of these for other characters, hmmm)