Impediment
/n/ - an obstruction or hindrance; something that prevents; syn: obstacle, barrier, obstruction, hurdle and a girl named Bella.
Warnings: Bella is evil, short, badly written, author feels shitty as she writes this, shifting POVs
I am in love with Antonio.
"Lovi~"
Lovino buried his face on the pillows, trying to muffle the sounds of his brother's approaching footsteps.
"I thought you're going out with big brother Antonio today?"
Despite his pounding heartbeat as he felt Feliciano come close, the elder brunette stilled himself and tried to even his breathing to feign sleep. He doesn't feel like having to deal with Feliciano just now.
"Lovi..? Are you asleep?"
You shouldn't ask it that way, Lovino thought inwardly. How he wished for his brother to lose patience and just leave him alone now.
"Lovi?"
What a thickhead.
"You know you can always talk to me about the sad stuffs, you know..."
Or maybe not.
Lovino felt the bed shift and realized that Feliciano had sat beside him.
"I'll always listen, Lovi."
"...get lost, Feliciano."
A soft hand run through Lovino's hair, and the elder Italian cursed the Gods for creating tears and loving brothers.
"...fuck."
I am in love with Antonio.
People are fickle creatures.
One day, they'll be fussing over you an then the next day, they'll be fussing over another.
Feliciano's world used to revolve around his brother, but one day in spring, three years ago, he met this guy and then it was all about him.
That's when Lovino realized that no matter how strong bonds are, they will still break... And it hurts.
To avoid being hurt, he tried to distance himself from the others. It was a good plan. He was a free soul, with no strungs attached to anyone who will pull him down. He was lonely, but the assurance of painless goodbyes kept him sane.
But then he came and ruined everything.
The walls he had built around his heart, little by little, went crumbling down as Antonio pushed his way towards Lovino. He didn't understand why would such a happy person who can have anyone he wants would pursue him, him that was filled with the desire to push everyone away... And that moment of confusion might have grown to a feeling that was all wrong and sinful.
He fell in love.
That stupid thing he so wanted to avoid. He was caught off guard. He was left vulnerable. And somehow, he knew he wanted it. For it was Antonio and no one else but him. And the feeling even grew witg the days that they spent together. Even stronger with the secrets they had shared. More deadly with the dreams they promised to reach with each other.
"What would you do for college, Lovi?"
"I guess I'll take culinary..."
"Then I'll take that, too."
Badump. Badump.
His heart beated fast. His forbidden feelings, cultivated by the guilty pleasure he gains from his unhealthy friendship with him. He let go of his desire to be alone. He doesn't want it anymore. Like a drug, Antonio showed him the satisfaction of having someone always with him, for him... Like a drug, he got addicted to the feeling. Like a drug, he craved for more. Everyday.
"We'll be together for college, too!"
"Yeah, I guess."
"I'm so happy, Lovi. I wanted to always be with you."
He wished his fantasy will last forever.
He thought, maybe, this time, it will last.
He was wrong. Of course he was.
People are fickle creatures.
One day in college, Antonio introduced his girlfriend. A girl named Bella.
The girl who knew his feelings for Antonio when she read his diary when he accidentally left it at school. Oh, how the girl sent him a smirk as Antonio introduces her to him.
All at once, Lovino felt his world fall apart. The words, their promises all seem worthless. All seem to be a big fat lie to make him suffer. A stab in his back. A hand on his throat. Blood that dripped down his chin as he bit his lip.
Fuck.
Fuck it all.
He knew it was one sided all along. He knew. But he stupidly hoped that it was something more. Because Antonio... Because Antonio had been so kind. So protective. So nice to him... Only him.
But now, it wasn't him.
He woke up from his dream, to a bitter nightmare of the reality that Antonio had a girlfriend.
And that guy, still being so kind and nice, still dragged Lovino when he's with his girlfriend so that Lovino won't be alone.
How... How can you be this nice to me, Antonio?
It's just hurting me more... You idiot. To see you with her... It makes me want to be blind. Don't think about me anymore. You'll just give me more false hope. And even though I knew it was useless, I know so well that I'll still grab that stupid ray of hope. I'm an idiot like that.
Maybe that's why I fell in love with you.
It hurts me how I still can't get rid of that feeling even though you're hurting me so much.
"Do you think he'll still come, darling?"
Antonio glared at Bella.
"Don't call me that."
The girl smirked.
"But aren't we dating?" she said mockingly.
"I don't love you."
"Because you love Lovino?"
"..."
"Do you think he'll love you?"
Antonio had always hoped that Lovino will... One day... Ever since three years ago when he tried to make Lovino let him inside his walls. He tried and tried and somehow, he succeed... But that was that. He knew it was a lost cause from the very start. How could Lovino possibly love someone like him?
Him, who used their friendship as an excuse to have the guilty pleasure of having Lovino close?
"He'll hate you," Bella had said when she discovered Antonio's secret when she ask him why he was so close to Lovino.
"Should I tell Lovino that you are so gay for him?"
He'll despise Antonio. He doesn't want that to happen...
"Be my boyfriend, Antonio," Bella sneakily suggested.
He agreed.
But only in front of Lovino. And now that Lovino wasn't around, no way in hell would he stay with Bella for a second more. It's stifling, suffocating. He so wanted to strangle her. So he glared at her and left wordlessly.
Bella smirked and lighted a cigarette.
"You can't have each other. I won't let it happen," she sang.