Perfect, it's just another word that I hate. Perfection sounds even worse to those weak souls around me. Let me start at the beginning on how my soul was broken.
I was just four years old, living with my mom and my pet dog, Duran. I was so happy back then. I was living in the land of Fuka, walking by Duran's side to a toy store. I was just smiling, skipping along the sidewalk. After my mom came out of the store with her gentle smile from the grocery store, I ran across the street with Duran not knowing a car was bombing through the streets. My mom was starting to freak out but Duran pushed me out of the way making it safely to the sidewalk with me. The car came to a stop and the driver rolled his window down.
"Watch where you go, kid!" the man said, taking off again.
I started to cry but my mom picked me up and held me into a warm embrace. I started to smile again, wishing for the pain to go away. I just smiled at my mom, to show her everything was okay. I was trying to be strong, like I was a soldier at the front line. My mom put me down and took me home so she could go to work. As I ran inside, I went to the TV and turned it on to catch my favorite program; Rugrats. It was so popular when I was growing up. My mom walked into the kitchen to make some dinner. I requested for sushi so she made sushi for me.
I was lucky to have a mom that I loved so much. As she put a plate of sushi in front of me, I started to eat it slowly, making sure Duran didn't get any but he was good to not be a food hound, just to eat his own food. My mom kissed my forehead and went off to her work. She gotten into her red car and drove off to an Island where she worked for an Organization for District One. That day, I felt something was going to happen. So after the Rugrats marathon was over, I ran with Duran to the Island where my mom worked at. I open the wooden door, and peeked in to see my mom. She turned around with a smile.
"Natsuki, did you walk here all by yourself?" she asked.
I shook my head and said, "No. Duran came with me."
Duran stick his head through the door and walked in. Right then, my mother had gotten a call from District One. I don't know what was going on or what was happening. My mother was worried so she gotten me and Duran into the car. I buckled up and held onto Duran when my mom got in. She buckled up and took off; hopping no one was following her. I wanted to know but just saw we were driving on a road that was nearby a cliff.
"Mommy, what's going on?" I asked, holding onto Duran with a tight embrace.
"I won't let them have you, Natsuki."
Those were my mom's last words before she saw two cars blocking the road. She turned the steering wheel and realized the car went off the cliff. We both screamed but, I lost Duran, lost the only one I cared for; my mom. I was lying in a hospital bed, still alive. God wanted me to live on for a reason. I was in pretty bad shape but two guys from District One were talking in the doorway of my room at the hospital, that I might not remember what happen. As they walked out and closed the door, I was in a comma for months. I couldn't remember how long I was in that comma but I was sad when I came out of it, the doctor told me what happen. I broke into tears, crying onto the doctor, wanting to die.
I just went on life without a care in the world. I just ditched school but gotten enrolled into Fuka Academy. I moved my stuff into the girl's dorm where I could have a room all by myself. I made myself lunch, went to class and sat at my assigned desk, making a vow to banish everything just to get revenge at District One.
"I'm not going to trust anyone. I'm not going to have a friend; I'm not going to fall in love. I will get revenge at District One for killing my mom and Duran."
I looked up at my English teacher, babbling on about stuff. I just sat through class till the bell rang. One of the students came to me and looked right into my eyes. I looked back at the young girl that had a warm smile on my face. I thought I was going to be sick, just having a mad face, and trying to act tough like I didn't care about anything or anyone in my life.
"What do you want?" I asked the young girl.
"I was just wondering if you wanted to have lunch with me and my friends. Show you around the school?" She said, wanting to be friends with me.
"Beat it. I'm not interested in friendship nor am I looking for it."
I grabbed my bag and walked out of the classroom to hide my rudeness to the girl. I know she was being nice but I threw it right into her face. I walked through the halls, looking for a snack machine to get lunch from. I didn't know my way around school but I started to hear voices around the corner from my classroom. As I leaned against the wall and eased drop on a conversation, I was hopping to get some information where I could buy food from.
"Fujino Shizuru, I'm very disappointed in you. How can you go on life acting like the princess at this school?" A woman said, complaining to this Shizuru girl.
"Miss Suzushiro, do you even know how it feels to go through this school with fan girls at you?" Shizuru said.
I just walked off, hearing Shizuru say about having fan girls at her made me sick. I just decided to ditch school and go to a restaurant for lunch. Instead of a restaurant, I went to a fast food place called McDonalds. It was popular around Fuka Academy. So I decided to get a big Mac and paid for it. As I leaned against the railing, I heard my number being called and I took the tray. I turned around and walked to sit at this small table.
I heard a worker yelling from this girl being clumsy. I turned to see what was going on and that was the first time I laid eyes on her. She had short brown hair, green eyes; green as the grass. Her glasses went straight but curved down at the corner of her eyes, with the lens on top of the frames. I saw another women with long golden hair, purple eyes that dinosaur was running around, scaring little kids.
"She's actually sticking up for this girl and yelling at the worker? Must be my day to be an emo."
I didn't know why I was seeing these people being nice but, maybe it had to do with me. I don't know.
It was the second day at school, wanting to ditch it. So I decided to ditch all of my classes and stroll through the gardens where it seems to be nice and quite to be alone. I assumed the school director owned this garden. I wasn't sure but as I was thinking about my mother, I started to feel hatred through my heart, feeling the pain all over again of accepting she was gone, forever. I went to the far end of the garden where these pink flowers were, trying to figure out why I could see my mother smiling so happily. Maybe I loved the garden, but I didn't know what she did in her spare time.
I put my right hand down to the flower, and grabbed it into my palm, feeling the pedals brush against the palm of my hand. More images of my mom smiling went through my soul, hearing it scream out in pain.
"You shouldn't do that," a girl said from behind in a Kyoto accent.
My eyes widen, feeling disturbed from my own solitude of time from a presence. I let the flower go and spun around to see this girl… This long light brown hair that was flying in the air, I didn't know why my pain went away during that time. Her dark red eyes just staring into my green eyes, wanting to know what I was doing.
"Why not?" I said in a rude tone, grumbling my pain off from my shoulder.
"Flowers are meant to be loved because they're trying to bloom to become beautiful in their short time of life."
My eyes widen, feeling weak to this girl. My thoughts racing to run away but I couldn't move my body for some reason.
"Whatever," I said, "they're going to die anyway. Everything dies."
I didn't know who she was but that voice sounded familiar. It then hit me; she was the one who had her own fan club, fan girls walking behind her, it just made me sick.
"Are you feeling okay Miss…? Kuga-san is it?" She just put her innocent smile to strike at my heart.
"Sorry but you got me mixed up with someone else," I said, and started to walk to another part of the garden.
She followed me, trying to get me to open up to her. I wasn't sure what she wanted from me then.
"You're the new student, Kuga-san. I recognize you from anywhere. Can you tell me why you act so cold?" She asled, with that Kyoto accent of hers.
I was starting to get annoyed, irritated from her. I just wanted to be alone, that's all I wanted was to be left alone. My soul was already dead so why should I open up when I'm dead inside?
"Leave me alone," I said.
"Okay, Miss Kuga-san. I'm sorry if I bothered you but break is over. Shouldn't you get back to class?" She said in a sweet tone.
I looked back at her and just kept on walking. I walked back to the girl's dorm, slamming the door behind me. I walked to the fridge and saw that the fridge was empty.
"Damn it. Nothing to eat," as I complained to myself.
Then I heard a knocking at the door, wondering who it could be.
"Go away!" I yelled from the kitchen.
"I'm sorry but I thought I would give you a homecoming gift," a women with a Kyoto accent said.
My eyes widen; I couldn't believe it. How could she find me at the girl's dorm? Or… Was she my next door neighbor? I walked to the door and open it slowly, keeping my body in front of it. As I look around the corner, I saw her again. The one with the dark red eyes. Actually, her eyes were between dark red and brown pretty much.
"What do you want?" I said in a sarcastic tone.
"I wanted to give you this home cooked meal, Miss Kuga-san. I'll just leave it down here for you," she said.
The girl put a plate with foil over it and put mayo down by it as well. As she gave me one last warm smile, she started to walk down the hall. I don't know why but I open the door stepping over the food to stand in the middle of the hallway.
"Wait! What's your name, Miss?" I shouted at her, seeing she was almost to the stairs.
She turned around with a warm smile. "My name is Fujino Shizuru. May I ask what your name is?"
"Kuga Natsuki, Shizuru," as I replied back.
I walked back to the food and grabbed it, heading back into my dorm. I didn't know why but, for some reason, I was starting to feel weak through out my soul, as if her kindness was starting to get to me. I went to a small table where a TV was and put the plate down. I took the foil off and I could smell my favorite food, Curry Strew. I walked back to the door and grabbed the mayo from the ground then closed the door. I turned around and locked it before I went to sit back down at the table. I open the bottle of mayo and started to pour it onto the Curry Strew Shizuru gave me. I saw chopsticks by me at the table; I grabbed them and broke them in half. I started to dig in, tasting the food.
"It needs more mayo," I said.
Whatever was left in the bottle of mayo, I put it on my Curry Strew, being fond of mayo now. I turned the TV off and changed it to the Rugrats, still watching it while I'm thirteen years old.