Small Wonder: Growing Pains (S5E1)

by BadMrSushi

Ted has some bad news for Vicki about her height and age limitations, and Jamie's summer job pushes him to his limit when he's in charge of feeding the snakes at the pet store. Joan meanwhile, has a problem with the P.T.A. that might create a crisis for her two children...

Small Wonder

(S5E1) Growing Pains

By BadMrSushi

For Mr. L

The strangest thing about the young girl in the red dress and denim jacket wasn't her monotone voice, or even her somewhat lacking body language. No, the strangest thing was her smell. She didn't have one. She didn't even have the slightest hint of one, and that was something that the little hyperactive puppy didn't appreciate one bit. It yipped and ran around her in a wide circle, stopping periodically to wag it's tail, and wait for a reply. The strange girl just looked down at the puppy, unmoved by the yipping and wagging. The puppy finally sat down on it's hind legs and whined, looking up at her with it's ears poised for action.

Vicki looked down at the puppy, noting that it's breed was that which was known as a German Sheppard, commonly used as a very effective police enforcement dog. Of course, in it's current size, it would only be useful as a doorstop or maybe as a rudimentary alarm dog. It was quite noisy. The puppy whined again and slumped down onto it's front legs, resting it's little muzzle between it's paws. Doorstop, thought Vicki, as she turned to join her brother over by the fish tanks. He had taken a summer job down at the local pet store, and although the store front looked quaint in it's multiple building façade, the inside was quite modern and very nice. Rows of nicely kempt pet supplies and cages upon cages of birds, reptiles, and rodents lined the walls- and Jamie's section of aquariums was tucked neatly back into the far corner of the pet store.

Jamie scooped a tiny goldfish up out of it's tank, and dropped the little glimmering fish into a plastic bag. He smiled and handed off the tied up little bag to the waiting hands of a little girl, who took the bag and ran off excitedly towards the cashier lanes. He sighed out and closed the tank back up, wondering if it was lunch time yet. He turned to see his little mechanized sister, Vicki, walking towards him- being followed closely by an on the loose puppy.

"Vicki!" He said, as he grabbed a small chew toy from underneath one of his worker's cabinets. "You're just in time- wanna come and eat lunch with me?" He asked. He picked up the puppy and put the chew toy in it's mouth. It protested and wiggled, but eventually succumbed to the siren song of the rubber bone. It bit down aggressively on the squeaky bone, all the while staring at Vicki.

"Mom wanted me to check in on you and see that you are doing okay." Said Vicki. She looked around the pet store, taking in all of the animal sounds and noisy children running around, and then looked back at Jamie. "Are you doing okay?" She asked, losing her monotone sound for just a brief second. Over the years, Vicki had begun to sound more and more like a normal girl, but only intermittently. She still had the unfortunate inflection of a talking car door alarm. Jamie smiled and walked with her towards the puppy pen and he dropped the puppy gently into a waiting bed.

"Yeah, it's actually pretty fun! I get to play with the puppies and kittens a lot. Mr. Mitchell said I can even feed the snakes next week too! Who knew getting a job would be less work than mowing lawns and selling Christmas tree seeds?" Said Jamie. He looked at Vicki and motioned with his head towards the doors. "I just need to check out with the lead, and then I'm going over to the pizza place- you should come too." He said. Vicki nodded.

"I'll come too." She said, then she headed out of the doors. Jamie watched her go with a slight twinge of sadness. As she left, Vicki had passed by a goofy looking giraffe with a height measurement scale on it's leg and neck. There were letters on the giraffe that read out 'How tall are you now?' in a rather happy multicolored font. Vicki was as tall as she had been two years prior, and Jamie knew it. Luckily, Vicki still had a year of middle school before she was supposed to be attending high school, unlike Jamie who would be in tenth grade this year. He sighed out and left to find his team lead.

Vicki looked around outside at the passersby of the shopping square. There were a lot of people hanging around today, some just sat in the summer sun, enjoying ice cold drinks, while others tried to beat the heat by ducking into the shade of the surrounding building's awnings. A teenage girl walked past Vicki, eyeing her denim jacket as she went along. Vicki turned her attention to her wardrobe selection and stared down at her jacket and dress combination. It seemed in order, and Vicki couldn't find a reason why the girl should have stared at her in such a way.

"Hi!" Said an unfamiliar voice from behind Vicki. She turned around to see a boy about Jamie's age. He looked at Vicki with a nervous smile, his hands in his shorts pockets, and sweat beading up on his forehead. "Would you like to see a live music show this Monday?" He asked, producing a leaflet from his pocket. Vicki took the leaflet and read it. The leaflet read 'Cannonball live in the park, 4pm Monday!' The rest of the leaflet's words had been crossed out. Vicki looked up at the boy.

"Which park is the music show in?" She asked. The boy blinked, taken aback by Vicki's monotone voice.

"Oh, actually, the park didn't want us playing there, so we had to switch our venue to the high school parking lot. It'll still be cool though!" Said the boy. "We've even got a popcorn cart guy coming!" He said, very proud. Vicki nodded.

"I'll have to ask my parents." She said, as she tucked the leaflet into her denim jacket pocket. Jamie came out of the pet store, still in his muted gray uniform and squinting from the summer sun. He couldn't quite make out who was talking to Vicki, but he grinned at the idea that some boy was hitting on his robot sister. The boy nodded back at Vicki.

"Cool! Hopefully we'll see you there! I'm in the band you know, so, I'll be looking for you." He said, somewhat skittishly. Then he turned to leave and stumbled over his own shoe. He took it in stride and calmly walked off towards a group of talkative teenagers. Jamie came up behind Vicki, as she watched the boy leave.

"What was that about?" Asked Jamie, as he poked at Vicki's shoulder. She turned and pulled the leaflet from her jacket.

"That boy just invited me to see his band play in the high school parking lot." Said Vicki. Jamie waggled his eyebrows, and Vicki looked at him with an expression of confusion. "Why are you doing that with your eyebrows?" She asked him. Jamie smiled wide.

"I think that boy is inviting you to more than just a cruddy concert in a parking lot." Said Jamie. Vicki looked down at the leaflet, wondering what it was that she wasn't seeing. Jamie nudged her and motioned for her to follow. "Come on, I'll tell you all about it over some pizza." He said.

The pizza house in question was at one time a heavily trafficked destination for any one passing through town, or for birthday pizza parties. Time had began it's slow and merciless advance, however, and the once noisy and crowded pizzeria was now a much more laid back dining experience. When the two Lawson children walked into the doors of the aromatic dimly lit space, they were greeted immediately by a very bored and fresh out of high school waitress.

"Hello! Two of you today huh?" Asked the waitress. "Did you want your usual place?" She asked towards Jamie. Jamie smiled, and Vicki looked between the two of them. Obviously, she thought, Jamie and the waitress were well acquainted. The waitress led them to a table by a window with a nice view of one of the town's busier avenues. Jamie scooted into one side of the booth, taking a menu from the table top as he went. Vicki followed right behind him, and she too scooted into the booth right next to him. Jamie looked over at her and cleared his throat, motioning with his eyes at the other side of the table. Vicki took the hint, and got back out of the booth.

"I think we're just gonna have the pepperoni and two colas!" Said Jamie, hardly even looking at the menu. The waitress smiled and took the menu from Jamie, and looked down at Vicki who was scooting back over to the other side of the booth. A flash of recognition seemed to cross the waitress's face, but she quickly went back to her work.

"Okay! And you want all the cheese goodies too?" She asked. Jamie nodded. "How's that pet store treating you?" asked the waitress.

"It's going great! I'm feeding the snakes next week!" Said Jamie, trying not to sound too nerdy about the prospect of handling the reptiles.

"He also gets to play with the puppies and kittens all day." Said Vicki. Jamie grimaced a bit and looked over at Vicki. The waitress giggled and left for her server station somewhere in the kitchen.

"Vicki! What the heck?! Don't tell her I play with the kittens, I'm trying to look more grown up now! I'll be a high schooler in a month!" Said Jamie, as he looked to see that the waitress couldn't hear him. Vicki cocked her head to the side.

"What should I tell her that you play with instead?" She asked. Jamie sat back in the booth and crossed his arms.

"Nothing~ geez, I'm trying to be cool, Vicki. Older girls like cool guys." He said. Vicki nodded.

"Cool guys. Like the boy that invited me to his cruddy concert." Said Vicki. Jamie broke a smile and nodded too.

"Yeah, he looked kind of older though, didn't he? He's probably in high school already too." Said Jamie. "It's too bad you're still stuck in middle school with Harriet and Mom for a whole year yet." There came a commotion from the kitchen, and the two children turned around to see what was going on. A very suave looking cook poked his head out of the kitchen doorway, his floppy chef hat hanging slightly askew. He looked around until he saw Jamie and Vicki. His eyes grew wide and he drew himself back into the doorway.

"Mama mia!" Came the distant and panicked voice of a different cook. The waitress busted through the doors with some drinks on a tray. She seemed uneasy, and smiled strangely at Jamie and his new friend.

"Here we go, two colas, and the pizza will be coming right out!" She chirped. "Is there anything else I can get you while you wait? Anything at all?" She asked. Jamie raised a curious eyebrow.

"No, I guess we're good, but what was all the noise in the kitchen?" Asked Jamie. The waitress shot a very quick look over at Vicki, and then smiled back at Jamie.

"Oh, the cook was just surprised that we had customers- I think he was trying to take a nap~." She said jokingly. "Well! I'll be back in a few minutes with some silverware." Said the waitress, as she hurried away. Vicki and Jamie looked at each from across the table.

"What was that about?" Asked Vicki.

---

Ted Lawson hung upside down from his feet, suspended by his experimental robotic crane arm in his garage. He sighed out, wondering if it was lunch time yet, and stared over at his lunch box sitting not even ten feet away on his projects shelf. He huffed out and started swinging again, trying in desperation to reach the emergency release button on the main body of his new invention. He picked up momentum and finally smacked the button as hard as he could. Nothing happened. Ted whimpered, but quickly turned his head in hope as he heard the garage door open up. Vicki and Ted stared at each other wordlessly, Vicki needing no explanation as to Ted's predicament, and Ted needing no further humiliation. Vicki walked over to the robotic crane arm, and calmly cracked it's plastic and steel hands apart. Ted fell to the ground with a slight puff of dust.

"Okay, that one's back to the drawing board." Said Ted, standing back up immediately to his feet, and going over some calculations on his project desk. "How was Jamie, Vicki?" He asked. Vicki put the broken robotic appendages gently down on the ground as she answered.

"Jamie said that he really likes his job. He even gets to feed the snakes next week." Said Vicki. "He fed me pizza on his lunch break." She added. Ted scoffed and threw a sheet over his crane arm.

"Not that one by the pet shop I hope! That place always ends up trying to kill me." Said Ted, as he put a big black X on a piece of paper and taped it to the sheet. "Lucky thing that a robot can't get an upset stomach." He said.

"That's your opinion." Said Vicki, as she turned to leave the garage. Vicki left just as Joan was coming into the garage, a somber look on her face. Ted looked up at his wife from his papers and frowned.

"Hi Joan!" He said. Joan slumped down and sat on Ted's work bench. "What's the matter?" Asked Ted, as he put his papers away.

"Well, there's good news and bad news." Said Joan. Ted put his hands on his hips.

"Let's hear the bad news first, it's always better that way." Said Ted. Joan crossed her arms.

"Okay. Every school district across the country is sending the educational system into a tailspin of teen angst!" Said Joan. "They passed the measure to rearrange the grades in schools, so now I'm teaching 6th through 8th." She said. Ted blinked, standing in disbelief of the major change.

"That's unbelievable! I didn't think they were actually going to do it…" He began. Then his eyes lit up. "Wait a minute, that means that Vicki's ninth grade status puts her into high school already!" He said. Joan gave him a nod and snapped her fingers.

"That's the other bad news." Said Joan. "The superintendent took special interest in Vicki, and wanted to know if we'd be sending her to the Valley High with Jamie, or if we're going to set her up with that Athenian school up by the foothills." She said. Ted frowned.

"So what's the good news?" Asked Ted hopefully. Joan smiled a little bit.

"Our high school's collective GPA should sky rocket this year." She said. Ted groaned out and leaned against his shelf.

"Well good for them." He said, sounding full of angst. Joan got up off the stool and went to consul her husband.

"You're taking this even worse than I did, Ted! Well, we knew this might happen months ago!" She said, rubbing his back. Ted shuffled his papers and winced as his complaining foot started to heat up. "I just don't want Vicki in that Athenian academy, she won't know any of the kids there…" Said Joan.

"Yeah, well it might be better if she didn't know any of them!" Said Ted, in a very upset tone. Joan stopped rubbing his back and looked at him with confusion.

"What? Why's that?" She asked. Ted sighed out and looked up to the ceiling.

"I didn't want to tell you this so soon, Joan, or even tell Vicki… but Vicki's as old and as tall as she's ever going to get." He said. Joan frowned. She knew the day was on it's way that Vicki would stop growing, but it was still a slight shock to hear it. "All those kids in school are bound to notice the 13 year old in their high school. I think Harriet next door is already suspicious." Said Ted.

"The Brindles are always suspicious of something." Said Joan as she made her way towards the garage door. "Poor Vicki." She said as she went. Ted nodded in agreement and followed her out, closing and locking the garage behind him.

"Honey, let's try to break the news slowly, okay?" Said Ted. Joan turned and looked at Ted as she opened the kitchen door.

"Well not too slowly, high school is only a month away." She said. They entered into the kitchen to find Harriet on the floor, looking underneath the kitchen refrigerator. Joan and Ted looked at each other and then back down at Harriet, who still hadn't noticed their entrance.

"Stupid mouse, I know you're under there!" Said Harriet. Then she tried to reach underneath the appliance, but found her arm wasn't nearly as thin as she had hoped for. "I'll get you if it's the last thing I do!" She said into the space under the refrigerator. Ted cleared his throat and Harriet sprang up from the floor with a gasp.

"Harriet." Said Ted. "What are you doing in our house? What are you doing, under our fridge?" He asked. Harriet stood with her hands behind her back, smiling up at the two of them.

"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Lawson! I was just looking for my pet mouse Kibbles." She said. Joan raised an eyebrow and looked down around the floor.

"A mouse?!" She asked. "There's a mouse in our house?!" She said, ready to bolt up onto the table. Ted put his hands on Joan's shoulders, steadying her near launch.

"Harriet, might we ask why your pet mouse would even be in our home?" He asked. Harriet put her head to the side, the big ribbon in her ponytail rattling as she moved.

"Well, it's the weirdest thing~ I was just talking to him and telling him all about next week, and he squealed and jumped out of my window! Just like one of those flying squirrels!" She said, acting out the scene with her hands. "And then- sploosh! He landed in our pool, got out, and high tailed it straight over here! I only had him for the afternoon, I just bought him at the pet store down where Jamie is working." Said Harriet.

"Great, just what we needed, another mouth to feed." Said Ted, smiling as he playfully nudged Joan. Joan didn't smile back, and she kept her focus on the ground. "Harriet, we'll call you if we find him." He said. Harriet nodded and smiled.

"Okay! Just if you find him, make sure he doesn't eat any cheese! I wouldn't want him to get too fat." Said Harriet as she walked out of their kitchen. Ted closed the door behind her.

"Kibbles." Said Ted with a smile. Joan nodded and grimaced as she gingerly looked under the kitchen table. The kitchen and living room door swung open and Vicki entered the kitchen, wearing her usual red and white pinafore once more. She looked around the kitchen pensively and then at the two of them.

"Did Harriet go home?" Asked Vicki. Ted nodded and sat down at the kitchen table.

"Yep, she went back to her own hole in the wall." Said Ted, picking up the newspaper from the table. Vicki nodded and walked towards the back door. She scooped her hand into her pinafore pocket and produced from it a little white mouse. Joan shrieked and quickly retreated to the other side of the kitchen.

"Vicki! What are you doing with that mouse?!" Asked Joan as she ducked and covered. Vicki held the mouse gently in her hands.

"I'm saving Kibbles from a slithery grave." Said Vicki as she shrugged. Ted smiled and raised his eyebrows.

"Saving Kibbles from a slithery grave? Where'd you get that, Vicki?" He asked. Vicki turned towards Ted, Kibbles' little nose twitched at the sudden movement.

"From Harriet. She said, 'Kibbles is just a poor pawn in the circle of life~ I'm going to give him to Jamie for the snake feeding next week- you hear that Kibbles? You're going straight to a slithery grave!'" Said Vicki. Ted and Joan looked aghast at Harriet's words. "I found him shivering in our flower bed outside just before Harriet came over to look for him." Said Vicki. Kibbles gave out a tiny squeak. Ted frowned and sat back in his chair, eyeing the little white mouse in Vicki's hands.

"Terrific. Our son is slowly becoming 'Jake the snake Roberts'." Said Ted. Vicki stroked the mouse gently on it's head and opened the kitchen doorway to the outside. She looked back at Ted and Joan.

"I'll go and release Kibbles back into the wild." Said Vicki. She left out the door, closing it behind her. Joan looked over at her husband and shook her head.

"Can you believe that Harriet? I thought she was an animal lover!" Said Joan, still shocked over the cruelty of the situation. Ted shrugged.

"Snakes are animals too, I guess. I can't believe that Jamie would be so excited over the idea of feeding a live mouse to a snake- that just doesn't sound like him at all." He said. "This is definitely a new side of him we haven't seen…" Said Ted. Joan nodded and joined Ted at the kitchen table.

"I think Jamie's more interested in feeding the girls working around that shopping square. Vicki told me that he was very friendly with the waitress at the pizza place just across from the pet store." Said Joan. "I don't think we have to worry about him becoming Crocodile Lawson just yet." She said with a smile. Vicki entered back into the kitchen and closed the door firmly behind her. Ted looked over at her.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Vicki, where'd you put the mouse?" Said Ted. Vicki shook her pinafore and released from her pockets and ribbons an assortment of nuts and seeds.

"I put him in a knothole in the tree outside, but the squirrel that was in there didn't like that very much." She said, shaking a walnut out of her dress. The walnut rolled across the floor and stopped at Joan's feet. Vicki looked down at the nut, studying it closely. As far as Vicki knew (and that was quite far) there were no walnut trees in the immediate area. Strange then, for a squirrel to have angrily thrown one at her from it's favorite tree. Joan laughed out and looked over at Ted.

"It's a good thing your RAMCLAS stopped working, Vicki. I don't think you would have liked what that squirrel had to say~!" Said Ted, as he smiled at her.

In fact, Vicki's RAMCLAS, or Random access multiple concurrent linguistic analytical sequencer, hadn't simply stopped working. It had been tragically and grievously injured during a trip to the San Diego Zoo. The Lawson family summer vacation had ended with the trip to the monkey house in particular. It was there that Vicki began a conversation with a chimpanzee named Melvin. Melvin was apparently a ladies man, and had struck up a very quirky back and forth with Vicki, much to the amusement of Ted, Joan, and Jamie.

Melvin's chimpanzee wife, however, did not appreciate the banter between the odd human and her self proclaimed hubby. She shrieked and yelled a colorful list of insults and names at Vicki, all of which were translated by and then filtered out by RAMCLAS. In the end, the filtering of the chimpanzee's profanity proved too much of a task for the poor circuit, and it fried under it's own workload. Vicki had even started smoking from her back panel, and the Lawsons had to make a hasty retreat from the zoo, vowing never to return to a monkey house.

The knowledge that animals had the capacity for reasoning and emotion had stuck with Jamie Lawson ever since that day at the zoo, and it was one of the many reasons he had applied for the pet store job. Another reason he had applied, was the girl who had just entered into the pet store- still in her waitress uniform. Jamie smiled and hopped down from his little step ladder by the hamster cages, making his way towards the girl. She spotted him and smiled.

"What can I help you find~?" Asked Jamie, in an overly gentle voice. "Kitten? Goldfish? Iguana?" He asked, playfully. The girl put her hands in her pockets and looked around.

"You said you get to play with the animals all day- I guess you weren't kidding!" She said. She shifted her weight to her other foot and looked down at Jamie's name tag with a smile. "Jamie, huh?" She asked. Jamie nodded, shining the name tag with his shirt sleeve.

"Mmhmm!" He said. "And I already know you're Chloe." Said Jamie. Chloe, the waitress, looked surprised at Jamie and gave him a quick giggle.

"Thanks- most people say Coal or Ch-low." She said. Then she straightened up and looked around the store. "So, can anybody play with the puppies and kittens? Or just the workers?" She asked. Jamie motioned for her to follow.

"Anybody as long as you're supervised~." Said Jamie. He led Chloe to a pen full of sleepy kittens and opened it's gate up for her. She graciously stepped inside and Jamie entered also, closing the little gate behind them. "Well, say hello!" He urged, as he picked up a stretching kitten. It looked up and pawed at Chloe, giving her it's best sparkling eyes it could possibly give.

"Awwww-" Went Chloe, as she melted and took the kitten into her arms. "My kitten at home grew up into a big old fat cat. I wish they could stay kittens forever~." Said Chloe. Jamie smiled and picked up another kitten.

"Yeah I know what you mean! They get stinkier when they get older too." Said Jamie. Chloe smiled and put her kitten back down onto the carpeted floor of the pen.

"So what made you want to work here, Jamie? Are you going to keep working here through school too?" She asked. Jamie put his kitten down as well.

"Well, I'm a real animal lover~." He said, tilting his head to the side with a big cheesy smile. "And maybe. I don't know, I guess it's up to my folks…" Said Jamie. He caught himself sounding not cool at the mention of his folks and bit his lip.

"Cool! My folks never let me work a job until I was out of high school." Said Chloe.

"Oh, are you out of high school? Did you graduate early?" Asked Jamie, trying to sound sincere. Chloe put her hands in her pockets and shook her head to the side.

"I'm twenty Jamie, I would think that's pretty obvious~." She said to him. "I wish I could still be in school, then I wouldn't have ended up at that dead end pizza place." She continued. Jamie raised an eyebrow.

"You don't like working there?" He asked, actually surprised. "But you get free pizza, all day! It's like they're paying you double!" He said.

"Pizza can get pretty old after eating it for two months in a row. I'd rather work here." She said, smiling at the thought of working with the animals. Jamie shrugged and opened the gate so that they could leave the kittens behind.

"Well, why don't you apply here then? I'm sure Mr. Mitchell would hire you! Besides you could use me as a reference." Said Jamie. Chloe smiled, but then looked away towards the doors.

"Thanks Jamie, but I don't think I would get hired here, I don't have the best work record." She said. Jamie scrunched his mouth to the side.

"Well… okay then. Hey, you should come back next week! You can see me feed the snakes! All the little kids are excited for it!" Said Jamie. Chloe thought it over and nodded at him with a slight smile.

"Okay, Jamie, I will." She said. With that she left out the doors of the pet store. Jamie watched her leave with a smile. Twenty, he thought. Much older than he had reckoned. Jamie wondered what his parents would think about the age difference if he could somehow perform a miracle, and bring Chloe to their house. His daydreaming was interrupted by his boss, Mr. Mitchell.

The tall pepper haired man in the gray uniform, full of claw marks and chew patterns stood in front of Jamie and snapped his fingers in front of his face. Jamie's eyes grew wide as he realized that his boss might have been privy to his whole conversation with Chloe. Mr. Mitchell produced from his worker's belt a slotted scoop and a flat shovel.

"Have fun with the kittens?" Said Mr. Mitchell in a hard to read tone. Jamie smiled and huffed out.

"Yeah!" He answered. Mr. Mitchell shoved the scoop and shovel towards Jamie.

"No, have fun with the kittens." He reiterated. "Go change the litter boxes, they're starting to stink."

---

Several hours later, Jamie walked out of the pet store along with a few other of his co-workers as the store closed for the night. He chatted with some of the other boys as they walked out into the shopping square, and spotted his father, Ted, sitting in the family car waiting to give him a ride back home. Ted waved at him very excitedly, so as to make sure that Jamie could see him. Jamie did see him, and so did Jamie's co-workers, all of whom had a good laugh at the older man's expense.

"Hey Jamie! How was your first day?!" Asked Ted, as Jamie opened up the passenger side door. Jamie got in wordlessly and looked over at him. "I'm so proud of you!" Said Ted, speaking just loudly enough so that the other boys could hear him.

"Dad!" Exclaimed Jamie. He quickly snapped his seat belt into place and slunk down into the seat. "Are you trying to kill my social life before it even ever begins?!" He asked. Ted smiled and ruffled Jamie's hair.

"Jamie, I'm your father, of course I am. It's my most important job." Said Ted. Ted threw the car into drive and pulled out into the busy avenue. He watched the road carefully as he drove, but looked over at Jamie periodically as he spoke. "Jamie, we've got a lot to talk about tonight. I don't think you're going to particularly like any of it, so brace yourself ahead of time." Said Ted. Jamie frowned and sat up in his seat.

"What's that Dad? Did something happen?" He asked. Ted bit his lip for a moment in thought. He turned the car back onto the street that would eventually lead them home.

"No, nothing happened, it's just that certain things have been set in motion now, and certain other things may have halted altogether…" Began Ted. He sighed out and looked over briefly and Jamie. "For one thing, Vicki can't get any taller or older looking- her auto extending telescopic endoskeleton has reached it's limitations." Said Ted. Jamie didn't understand Ted's mumbo jumbo, but got the gist of what he himself had already suspected.

"Yeah I figured. She hasn't grown an inch since last year." Said Jamie. "What are you going to do when she gets to high school? Think we can pass her off as youthful 16 year old?" He asked. Ted smiled and turned the car onto the Lawson's street.

"I'm sure Elizabeth Taylor would kill for her secret to staying young, Jamie, but no." Said Ted. "Besides, there's not much she could have learned from a high school education anyways, she's already smarter than all the college professors in this state combined!" He said, with a hint of pride. Jamie looked out of the car window as they pulled into their driveway.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. The other kids will sure miss her though." Said Jamie, as he unbuckled his seat belt. "They really liked her in music class! Remember when we had to bring home that note from Mr. Giles about her playing the green hornet song on her trumpet?" He asked with a smile. Ted nodded and opened his car door.

"I remember, sure. I also remember that it was you who kept her up all night that weekend watching the green hornet marathon." Said Ted. Jamie waggled his eyebrows and dashed to the backyard. Ted laughed out and closed his car door, thinking back on the time that Vicki had gotten her first demerit. He remembered that Vicki almost seemed upset about it, but he could never pin that down exactly. It was a very brief and fleeting expression on her face- and Ted had forgotten about it completely until just then. Had he missed something important? His train of thought was interrupted by his nosy neighbor, Brandon Brindle.

"Heya Teddy!" He sang out, as he came around the fence to meet Ted. "So how's the stay-cation treating you?" He asked. Ted put his hands in his pockets and gave Brandon a quick smile.

"It's been alright, Brandon. It's a nice view, good atmosphere. I don't know if I'm too crazy about the locals." He said. Brandon clapped his hands together and gave Ted a very odd finger pointing of approval.

"Oh-ho! You're a quick one old boy!" Said Brandon. "Say, have you told your kids the big news about the school grades getting all mixed up?" He asked.

"Not yet, we're going to break it to them slowly over dinner tonight." Said Ted. "I'm not sure how we feel about Vicki going into high school already." He added, thinking aloud. Brandon put his hands behind his back and looked out over the cul-de-sac, as if he were lording over it.

"Yeah I know what you mean. Our little Harriet will only have one more year of middle school and then BOOM!" Said Brandon, smacking his hands together. "I tell you what though, that son of yours could make a great addition to the Wolves football team! He's been bulking up quite a bit!" He said. Ted shot Brandon a slightly dirty look.

"What do you mean 'bulking up'? Jamie's a perfectly normal sized boy for his age!" Said Ted. Brandon blinked in surprise. "Well, I mean that he can choose to do whatever, we're not pushing him into sports or anything else for that matter." Said Ted, trying to save the conversation.

"Hmm. If it were me, I'd push him as far as he'd go! The same goes for that daughter of yours too, I'll bet they'd accept her into that Athenian school for free with her brain!" Said Brandon. Ted crossed his arms and stood in silence. "No sense in wasting natural talent! We're going to push for Harriet to go into drama in high school." Said Brandon, motioning with his hands as if they were curtains being parted for a play.

"She'll certainly be able to speak loud enough for it." Said Ted. Brandon nodded, still lording over the neighboring houses. "We might just keep Vicki back to home schooling, I don't know if a high school is the right fit for her." Said Ted, as he looked back towards his house.

"Oh that's too bad." Said Brandon absently. "Look at that squirrel- I think it's been thrown out of it's tree." He said, moving towards the tree in question. Brandon, apparently done with the short exchange, crossed the street to go look at the tree more closely, and Ted turned towards his own home, leaving to go inside. He crossed the backyard and closed the gate behind him, making a mental note to remember to grease it's noisy hinges. Ted opened the back door to the kitchen and entered inside to a very pleasant aroma of spaghetti and garlic toast.

"Look what Vicki made!" Exclaimed Jamie, as he sat at the kitchen table, munching on some breadsticks. "Her spaghetti looks even better than that fakey Italian restaurant in the mall!" Said Jamie. Ted took a deep breath of the air and agreed. It certainly smelled better too.

"Fantastico!" Said Ted. Jamie gave him a confused look.

"Isn't that French?" Asked Jamie. Ted sat down at the table with Jamie.

"Jamie, it's not French if it's not insulting someone's sensibilities." Said Ted with a smile. "Where's your mother and Vicki at?" He asked. Jamie cringed a little bit and looked away. Ted looked at him with a raised brow.

"Well…" Began Jamie. Just then the swinging living room door opened up and Joan appeared. She smiled and walked over to the kitchen island.

"Finally! Ted, there's something that I wanted to show you!" Said Joan, sounding very excited. Ted sat up in his chair.

"What is it?" He asked. Joan motioned to the door with a big Vanna White smile. Vicki entered through the swinging door, and stood in front of her mother. Joan had put Vicki's hair up into a french braid, and she had put on her a goodly amount of eyeliner and even some lipstick. She had even put Vicki back into her red dress and jacket with an added white plastic belt around her waist. It did make Vicki look slightly more grown up, but Ted didn't seem amused. Vicki saw Ted's expression and pointed to Joan with her thumb.

"She did it." Said Vicki. Joan laughed and straightened Vicki's denim jacket collar.

"What do you think Ted? Does she look like a mature young lady?" Asked Joan.

"I think she looks like Tammy Fae Baker." Interjected Jamie. "Mom, what are you trying to do to her anyways?" He asked. Joan opened her mouth and gave a hurt look to Jamie.

"I'm trying to give Vicki a little oomph, girls her age wear makeup all the time, it makes them look older and more distinguished." Said Joan. Then she turned to Ted. "Ted, what do you think?" Ted sat in his chair, completely trapped. There was no avoiding the conversation now, and he felt horrible for what he was about to say.

"I think she looks great!" Said Ted, wimping out at the last second. He kicked himself under the table, and tried to regroup. "You did a really good job, there, Joan! She looks brand new- never been off the lot!" He said. Joan put her hands on her hips.

"She's not a Toyota, Ted." Said Joan. Vicki looked up at Joan.

"All of my parts are made in America." Said Vicki. "U.S.A. all the way." She added. Joan grimaced a bit and patted Vicki's shoulders.

"That's right, you're an American girl." Said Joan. Ted cleared his throat.

"You know, this brings up an interesting subject, Vicki, Jamie. Why don't you have a seat at the table Vicki." Said Ted. Vicki joined Ted and Jamie at the table, sitting across from Ted. Joan turned away from the three of them and made her way towards the spaghetti dinner and it's plating. "Vicki, there's something I have to tell you that you may already know…" Said Ted. Vicki listened very intently. Apparently, she did not already know at all.

"Oh no…" Began Jamie. "Dad, don't tell us she's actually imported!" Said Jamie with a smile. Ted crossed his arms, showing Jamie that he wasn't in a joking sort of mood.

"Guys, the school system is changing this year. From now on, high school will be grades nine through twelve." Said Ted. Jamie's mouth dropped open. "So… Vicki, that would mean you'd be going to high school too." Said Ted.

"What a rip off!" Said Jamie. "You mean I could've been held back a year and I'd still be going to high school?! I should have goofed off in class more." He said, sitting back in his chair with his arms folded.

"Vicki, your mother and I both think that high school might not be the best place for you. It's just so hectic and crazy in high school, it's nothing like junior high, and Joan won't be there to watch you either." Said Ted. He looked over to Joan who was quietly plating up the spaghetti on the plates, then over to Vicki. He sighed out and nudged Vicki's hand. "And there's another reason. Vicki, your auto adjusting telescopic endoskeleton has reached it's peak. We can't stretch you out anymore, the strain on your circuits and servos would be too much." Said Ted. Vicki nodded, and seemed to understand. She looked down at her hands, looking like she was in deep thought.

"Do you mean she could fall apart? Is it really that dangerous?" Asked Jamie. Ted scratched the side of his head.

"Well… no, not too dangerous. Do you remember when we went to that retreat in the mountains? The health club? Well, Vicki lost her voice when she stretched her neck out too much- the same thing could happen on an even bigger scale if she grows anymore. She could lose a lot more than her voice." Said Ted. Jamie did remember, and he knew why his dad wouldn't want Vicki attending high school. It was becoming more and more noticeable that Vicki hadn't aged either, and that was something that would be most evident in a group full of peers.

"I have some news too." Said Joan, as she turned around with wet eyes. "The PTA nominated me for a permanent position in one of their schools." She said, her voice sounding hoarse. Ted opened his mouth, about to say something- anything, but nothing would come out. "They said I did such a good job with Mrs. Washington's classes that I should have a crack at teaching a class of my very own!" She said, ripping up hunks of garlic toast, and tossing them on the plates.

"Joan, honey-" Said Ted. "I- well, it's great! That's fantastic news!" He said. Of course, he knew that it wasn't fantastic news. With a full time teaching job, Joan would be unable to home school Vicki for the pacification of child adoption services. Which didn't really give them many options.

"Then why are you so sad?" Asked Jamie. "You look like you just watched Casablanca again." He added. Joan sniffed and smiled, trying to hide her teary eyes. She brought the plates one by one to the table and sat down with everyone.

"Oh- it's just such a shock Jamie. It's not everyday a substitute teacher gets an honor like that, but I don't think I could take the job. It's a lot more work, and I wouldn't be home until after you got out of class." Said Joan. She slid Vicki's plate in front of her, hoping that it might take Vicki's mind off the notion of never growing up. "Vicki this spaghetti looks wonderful! I've never seen spaghetti with shrimp in it, where'd you get the recipe?" Asked Joan, as she squeezed Vicki's arm. Vicki looked up at Joan and took her plate.

"I got the recipe from a cookbook at the library, the chef that wrote it said, 'It's so easy a child could make it!'" Answered Vicki. Ted fell silent and rested his head on his fist, as Jamie gingerly stabbed at his spaghetti. "Good cooking, good eating, good loving." Quoted Vicki, as she skewered a shrimp with her fork. Joan looked over at Ted, and then over at Jamie. Everyone looked as if they were all caught in a miserable rainstorm. Except for Vicki, she seemed to be okay.

The spaghetti turned out to be a little more spicy than the Lawsons had anticipated, and Vicki's Creole marinara sauce had certainly lived up to it's name. The dinner had gone from a slightly awkward one to a nearly tear inspiring test of heat endurance. Vicki had gained much knowledge from this of course, and she made a note to never use such an amount of red pepper again. As the Lawson family one by one began to depart from the table to start their individual nightly rituals of T.V. viewing and eyebrow plucking, Vicki began her ritual of tidying up of the kitchen. It was as she was putting the dishes away that the little music show flyer fell out of her jacket pocket.

The flyer fluttered down to the kitchen floor and landed on it's face, and to Vicki's surprise- there were written on it's back a set of numbers. She stopped what she was doing and bent over to pick up the paper and inspect it further. Her parallel processing unit started running arithmetic on the numbers, first adding them all together, than trying to find it's square root, and eventually using the numbers as a sort of measurement of decibels, but nothing seemed to correspond with the music show or it's location. She left the kitchen with the flyer in hand and made her way over to Ted and Joan, who were lazing on the couch. She stood over by Joan and put the paper out in front of her.

"What's this Vicki?" Asked Joan, as she took the paper. "A music show? Where's this at?" She asked, sounding interested. Vicki shook her head.

"The music show is in the high school's parking lot." Said Vicki. Joan frowned and gave the paper to Ted.

"Where did you pick this up at?" Asked Ted as he read the flyer. Jamie came running out of the bedroom hallway, a smile on his face. He stopped just behind the couch and crossed his arms. Ted looked up at Jamie, surprised by his sudden and enthusiastic entrance.

"A boy gave that to Vicki." Said, Jamie waggling his eyebrows again. Vicki looked at Jamie, noting that his eyebrows were doing that bizarre motion again. "Check out the back of it, Dad." Said Jamie. Ted turned the flyer around to it's backside and opened his eyes wide. First looking over to Vicki and then back at the flyer. He looked up to Jamie, and handed the flyer to Joan.

"What boy?!" Asked Ted, sounding slightly alarmed. Joan smiled as she saw the numbers on the back of the flyer, and she too looked up at Vicki, but with a different look in her eyes.

"I didn't recognize him at first, but he used to go to middle school with us!" Said Jamie. "Until eighth grade anyways. He was a ninth grader the year before last." Said Jamie with a big smile. Ted's mouth dropped open.

"So he's a junior in high school?! And you were letting him talk to Vicki?" Asked Ted. Jamie put his hands on his hips.

"Geez, Dad. It's not like she's a total little kid anymore! You're gonna give her a complex!" Said Jamie. "I mean you even let her take the bus to come see me today. Plus you always tell us that you want her to blend in with all the other kids, it'd be dumb to tell her not to talk to some boy." Joan nodded in agreement with Jamie and patted Ted's knee, then she looked over to Vicki.

"Do you want to go to the show, Vicki?" Asked Joan. "Did that boy say anything else to you?" She asked. Vicki nodded.

"He said that he was in the band, and that he'd be looking for me there." She said. Ted grumbled a bit, but Joan ignored him and stood up to join Vicki. "What do the numbers on the back mean?" Asked Vicki.

"It's a phone number, Vicki." Said Jaime, with a wink. Vicki nodded.

"A phone number." She repeated with a wink as well. "A phone number to what?" She asked. Ted got up and took the flyer from Joan.

"It's his phone number, Vicki, the boy who gave this to you." He said. He put the paper in his pocket and folded his arms across his chest. "He wrote that number down so that you'd call him- like any typical teenage girl probably would." He remarked, mainly to himself.

"Then I should call him." Said Vicki, as she moved towards the phone. Ted stopped her by the shoulder and brought her back around.

"Hold it! Vicki, that boy is way too old to have a girl like you call him up!" Said Ted. Joan put her hands on her hips and marveled at Ted. Ted caught her look and scrunched his mouth to the side. An obvious parallel had just happened, and Ted knew it- he was the cause and root of it. Joan had at one point been a little too young for Ted to have been calling too. Ted grimaced and sat Vicki down on the couch. "Listen, Vicki, it's just that that boy probably has some… uh, ideas, rolling around in his head- and I- We just want to make sure that you don't accidentally encourage him." Said Ted, motioning to Joan for support.

"Go on Ted, you're doing fine." Said Joan, as she tilted her head to the side. Vicki looked back and forth between the two of them confusedly. She focused her attention on Ted and shrugged.

"I don't understand." She said simply. Jamie smiled big and turned to leave back for his room, and Joan sat back down on the couch next to Vicki, looking up at Ted as well. She smiled and put an arm around Vicki, listening intently on Ted. Ted sighed out and rubbed his forehead.

"Joan, come on, obviously this boy only invited her to the show to impress her!" Said Ted to Joan. Joan just sat there looking up at him. Ted turned his attention to Vicki instead. "Vicki, I'm sorry- but I don't want you going to that show or calling that boy's phone number." Said Ted, sounding a little saddened. Vicki nodded.

"Okay." She said simply, and obediently. Joan frowned and sat back into the couch, taking Vicki with her.

"Better luck next time Vicki." Said Joan, consoling Vicki with a small hug around her shoulder. "Atilla the matchmaker just sank your love boat." Said Joan with a wry smile towards Ted. Ted huffed out and walked away, dejected and feeling a little abused by the comment.

Jamie sat in his room reading his favorite comic book series. Even though he was older now, and going into high school, he had decided that he could still indulge in the occasional perusal of the Sunday funnies. He turned a page in the comic and was interrupted by a knock at his window. Jamie got up from his bed and opened his shade to see Harriet standing outside. He rolled his eyes and opened up his window.

"What do you want Harriet?" Asked Jamie in his usual tone. Harriet gave him a big grin.

"Did you hear the news Jamie? They're switching around all the grades in all the schools, so I'm already at the end of middle school this year!" She said, sounding very happy. "That means I'll be in high school one year sooner, and you can take me to the prom~!" She said, gleefully. Jamie crossed his arms.

"Harriet, I'll already have a girlfriend by the time you reach high school- and anyways, I wouldn't take a ninth grader to the prom, I'll be a full fledged junior!" Said Jamie. Harriet laughed out at him.

"Oh poor misguided Jamie." She said. "You just better hope that I don't get some other boy to ask me to the prom before you do. With the way you treat me sometimes, you're lucky to even have me around!" She said, shaking a fist at him. Jamie opened his eyes wide.

"Harriet- I don't think I could get rid of you even if I moved to the Siberian tundra! And that reminds me, you better not come in to my pet store everyday to buy more animals that you don't need." Said Jamie. Then he narrowed his eyes. "Why did you want that mouse anyways? I thought they freaked you out." He asked. Harriet looked at him as if he had just asked some question with an overly obvious answer.

"I told you I was buying him for you, dummy!" Said Harriet, shaking her head.

"You did?!" Asked Jamie. He did remember tuning her voice out earlier that day, as he scooped up a fuzzy little white mouse for her from it's cage. "I must not have heard you… I guess. Harriet, I got nowhere to keep a mouse, besides- I don't need a pet, I'm going to be working with animals all the time at the store!" Said Jamie.

"Jamie, I didn't buy him for you to keep as a pet- didn't you hear anything I said?" She asked. Jamie smiled and shook his head energetically. Harriet narrowed her eyes at him and continued. "I bought him so that you could feed him to the snake on Monday!" She said. Jamie's mouth dropped open.

"WHAT?!" He shouted. "I'm not gonna feed a mouse to a snake! That's cruel! How could you even think that!?" He said, defensively. Harriet's eyes grew even bigger than they usually were.

"But that's all snakes eat, Jamie!" She said. Jamie bit his lip. "Didn't you know that?" She asked. Jamie's heart sank. He hadn't actually known that, but it did seem to make a lot of sense now. The owner of the pet store had told him that most kids didn't like feeding the snakes because they were squeamish. Jamie had thought that it was odd for pet store employees to be squeamish around snakes at all.

"I thought they ate pellets… like the hamsters…" Said Jamie, as he frowned and looked off into space. Harriet's mouth dropped open and she started laughing so hard that she couldn't even speak. Jamie closed his shade on her in a huff and started to walk out of his bedroom door, but not in time to escape Harriet's one word commentary on his new predicament.

"Pellets!" She gasped out, between laughs. Jamie made his way out his room, and walked through the house all the way to the kitchen. Stupid Harriet, he thought, as he opened the swinging kitchen door. He was met by his father, who was trying very hard to open a jar of olives. Jamie looked at him very confused as to why he'd be eating again so soon after dinner.

"What are you doing, Dad?" He asked as he joined him at the kitchen island. Ted struggled with the jar and kept trying to loosen it's lid.

"I'm going to have a martini if it kills me!" He said, almost out of breath. Jamie crossed his arms.

"Dad, you couldn't even drink half a glass of wine at Luigi's the other night without passing out at the table. A martini probably would kill you." Said Jamie, half jokingly. Ted shook his head and kept struggling. "Is this about that boy that's trying to chase our robot's titanium tail?" He asked. Ted looked over at Jamie, shocked at the almost crude comment.

"Jamie!" He said. "Don't talk like that, and no, it's not. I'm just trying to take the edge off a little bit. Did you see Vicki on your way in here? She can get this thing opened." Said Ted as he placed the jar down on the island.

"No, I didn't see her, now that you mention it." Said Jamie. He picked up the jar of olives and twisted the lid off with relative ease. Ted looked at his son with a bit of awe and shock- and Brandon's words came flying back to his brain, bulking up. Jamie put the jar on the kitchen island in front of them and slid it towards Ted. "Dad, I kind of made a mistake the other day." Said Jamie, sounding concerned.

"What's that?" Asked Ted, still marveling at the opened jar of olives.

"Well, you know how I was really happy to get the chance to feed the snakes? It turns out it's not gonna be so great after all." Said Jamie, as he scrunched up his mouth. "Harriet just told me that feeding the snakes means I'll have to feed them mice." He said. Ted raised an eyebrow.

"Well, yes Jamie, that's pretty much what they eat. Living things, didn't you know that?" He asked. Jamie shook his head and looked down. "Oh." Said Ted, secretly relieved that his son wasn't looking forward to dunking the poor hapless 'Kibbles' into a slithery grave.

"I just don't think I can do it. I'll probably get fired for being such a weenie." Said Jamie. Ted laughed out and began searching around the cupboards for a glass.

"Jamie, no one gets fired for being a 'weenie', just tell the owner you didn't know- he should be fine with that." Said Ted. Jamie nodded. He watched as his dad inspected a few small cups, each one getting smaller and smaller as he found them.

"So is Mom gonna take that job? I think she should." Said Jamie. Ted sighed out, and placed a very tiny glass cup on the island. "She really likes teaching, you know?" Added Jamie. Ted got into the freezer and pulled out an ice cube tray.

"I want her to, Jamie, I really do." Said Ted, as he cracked the ice out of it's place. He shook three cubes into the tiny glass, and the final cube went well over the rim of the cup. "But if she does, Mrs. Fernwald from the adoption agency will demand that Vicki be placed in high school. I wish I could make Vicki just a little bit older, then she could take that job." He said, sounding a little saddened by the thought of it all.

"Well that makeup job Mom did on her looked pretty good to me! And that boy seems to think that she's older enough~!" Said Jamie, nudging Ted in the side with his elbow. Ted smiled.

"You know, maybe you're right." Said Ted. "It would be an interesting experiment for sure." He added. Jamie nodded and smiled.

"Are you talking about Mom or Vicki?" He asked. Ted shook his head and dropped an olive in the already full glass. The olive rested precariously on the top most ice cube and hung there, looking to fall off at any moment.

"Either way, Jamie, I don't think we can ignore the cruelty of the other kids in high school. Especially the girls. You may not know it yet- but they can get pretty mean to each other." Said Ted, as he searched through the refrigerator. "You should see some of the looks women can give each other, it's absolutely frightening~." Said Ted from within the fridge.

"Yeah?" Said Jamie, a little absently. His mind had raced back to the pizza place earlier in the day, when he had caught Chloe, the waitress, take a quick side look at Vicki- and the cook had poked his head out too. Some exchange had happened, and Jamie was curious as to what it might have been. Ted closed the refrigerator door and had in his hand a small can of lemon lime soda. Jamie stared at the can and then up to his father, who had a strange look on his face.

"It's the hardest thing we've got in the house." Said Ted. "It's been sitting in the fridge for almost a whole week- it's gotta be a little strong by now." He said, as he poured a small amount over the olive. Jamie took in a deep breath.

"I don't think I can watch this." He said as he turned away. Jamie left through the swinging living room door, and Ted took a cautious sip of his drink. He shuddered at the disgusting concoction and spat out. Ted sighed and emptied his glass into the kitchen sink. He felt very bad for having wasted an olive in such a manner.

Vicki stood in front of Jamie's full length mirror in his little half bathroom, and studied her reflection. Joan's makeup had made her into a different person altogether, at least in Vicki's perception. She tilted her head to the side and turned so that her shoulder was in front of her. She computed that she had the build of a thirteen to fourteen year old human child. However, in actual years, Vicki had been manufactured only six years prior, so that meant that she was in fact only six to seven years old. Vicki played back the visual memory of the little puppy at the pet store earlier in the day, and cross referenced average canine growth to her own. She could apply her own age to what humans referred to as dog years. The little bathroom door opened up and quickly closed behind her.

"Oh geez! Vicki- sorry!" Said Jamie from behind the door. "What are you doing in there?" He asked genuinely curious.

"I'm the puppy." Said Vicki, sounding as sad as her monotone inflection would allow. Jamie cracked the door open a little bit so that he could talk to Vicki more easily.

"What? What are you talking about?" He asked. Vicki approached the door and spoke to him from the other side.

"I'm always going to be a puppy, and I'll never be a golden girl." Said Vicki. Jamie stifled a giggle, aware that this was a very serious issue.

"Do you want me to go get Dad?" He asked. "I'm sorry you can't grow anymore Vicki. I feel really bad." Said Jamie, in all honesty. Vicki was silent. Jamie peeked in the door and saw that Vicki was looking back into the mirror. He frowned at the sight of her. "Come on Vicki. You don't want to get old anyways!" He said.

"Why not?" Asked Vicki, as she furrowed her brow. Jamie shook his head and looked down at the floor.

"Because growing up stinks. You've gotta stop playing with toys, and stop playing with your friends like you used to." Said Jamie. He grimaced at the thought of how absent his best friend Reggie had been. "And another thing is, no one lets you get away with anything anymore when you get old." He continued. Vicki turned around and approached the door again. She opened it wide and left the bathroom. Jamie looked at his sister and noticed that she had wiped off the makeup and gotten back into her pinafore.

"You also grow hair in your ears." Said Vicki, with a nod. Jamie smiled at her and nodded back.

"Worse Vicki, even in your nose. It's alright anyways, you've seen that lady down at the supermarket right? She's only four foot tall, and she's in her fifties!" Said Jamie. "At least you'll never get as wrinkly as she is!" He said with a smile. Vicki nodded again and headed to her cabinet. She stood in the little space and turned towards Jamie.

"People buy puppies all the time because they're cute and fuzzy, I'm cute and fuzzy~." Said Vicki. Jamie nodded and gave her a slightly sad smile.

"Sure Vicki. Except you pick up messes, you don't make them!" He said. Vicki smiled slightly and closed her cabinet doors.

"Goodnight Jamie." She said as the doors closed. Jamie turned off his bedroom light and crawled under the covers of his own bed.

"Goodnight Vicki." He said. He turned over in his bed and shut his eyes, and then smiled as Vicki made a yipping barking noise from behind her doors.

Vicki did not technically sleep, but Ted had over the summer installed a very unique program into her parallel processing unit. Vicki could now dream, as it were, of things that her bubble memory module were clinging onto. He had described it as very much like shaking out all the unusable data from Vicki. The dream program would find saved data that Vicki had retained on a whim that she might have had, but didn't have any particular use for, and then play the data in interpretative forms as she went into her nightly downtime. It would then be able to free up data space without all that mucking about on the computer and Vicki's CPU. It was a great time saver for Ted, for Vicki however, it usually just disturbed her slightly upon 'awaking'.

This night Vicki dreamed of going to the music show in the parking lot of the high school that she would never attend. She was surrounded by herds of yipping puppies, and the boy and his band were nowhere to be seen, they were replaced instead by Jareth, the goblin king up on the stage. He sang a song titled 'Oh you pretty things', and when Vicki was finally roused by Joan the next morning, she was more upset than disturbed.

"Good morning Vicki! How'd you sleep?" Asked Joan. "Did you have good dreams?" She asked cheerfully. Vicki shook her head.

"I think that man from 'Labyrinth' was making fun of me." She said, sounding a little confused. Vicki had heard that song on a record before- but she didn't see how any of it pertained to her at all. She stood there looking off into space and Joan smiled and led Vicki out of her cabinet.

"Well rock stars aren't known for their manners." Said Joan. "Do you want to come with me to the shopping center downtown? I'm going to pick out a few things for Jamie, and I thought you and I could go grab a bite to eat afterwards." Said Joan. Vicki nodded.

"What about Dad and Jamie?" Asked Vicki. Joan shook her head and sighed out.

"Those two stooges went hiking this morning on the mountain trail! I think your father's having a mid-life crisis with Jamie's newfound physique." Said Joan. She led Vicki out of Jamie's room and into the living room. "They even walked all the way to the trail head, so we can take the car. We just might have to go and see about picking them up on the way back. Just in case." Said Joan, with a grin. Vicki nodded and caught her reflection in the living room mirror just by the front door. Joan gave Vicki a loving peck on the top of her head and the two of them left out of the front door.

---

Joan's few things for Jamie had turned into quite a few things. Vicki stood by her mother and the shopping cart that was becoming increasingly full of back to school clothes. She looked around as Joan investigated a plaid over shirt, and took in the sights of the surf inspired boy's clothing store. It was well lit by the nearly all glass store front, and up by the front of the store were a number of surf boards sticking up out of the store's floor. The big glass door to the store front opened up and a boy walked in, followed by a taller girl. Vicki immediately recognized the boy as the one who had invited her to his concert on Monday, and the girl as the one who had given her the odd look in front of the pet store. She tugged on Joan's sleeve.

"That's the boy who invited me to his music show." Said Vicki to Joan, as she motioned in the boy's direction. Joan looked up over the aisles to see the youngish boy talking with one of the employees near the front of the store, the girl stood by looking at some shorts. She smiled back down at Vicki, a little saddened that the boy already had an apparent girlfriend.

"Oh he's cute." She said. Then she nudged Vicki. "You should go talk at him- you know, thank him for inviting you." Said Joan. Vicki shook her head.

"But Dad said not to accidentally encourage his ideas." She said, looking back over at the boy and the girl. Joan folded up the plaid shirt and placed it in her cart.

"Vicki, it'd be more rude not to talk to him at all. Besides, it just so happens that I'm ready to pay as he's coincidentally hanging out by the cashier~." Said Joan, as she started towards cashier. Vicki followed along behind her and waited patiently by her mother's side as another customer in front of them was being checked out.

"Oh it's you!" Said the boy, as he looked in Vicki's direction. "Cool running into you here." He said as he made his way towards Vicki. The boy looked up to Joan and smiled.

"Hello." Said Joan. Then she turned around to Vicki. "Vicki, I'm going to go through and start organizing these for your brother- I'll just be over here~." She said, sounding very happy. Joan skittered away to a folding table, leaving Vicki alone with the band boy.

"Vicki? Is that your name? I'm Seth." Said the boy, Seth. Vicki nodded and gave him a quick smile.

"Hi Seth." She said, a little plainly. Seth looked down at the ground, an expression of disappointment on his face. Vicki caught the expression and put her hands behind her back. "Thank you for inviting me to your show." She said, losing her monotone briefly. Seth looked up and smiled at her. The teenage girl joined the two of them, and Seth looked over at her.

"This is my sister, Kristin. We just call her Kris." Said Seth. Kristin smiled at Vicki. "And this is Vicki- and that over there is Vicki's mom." Said Seth, pointing at them in turn.

"Hi Kris." Said Vicki. Kristin forcibly took Vicki's hand and shook it, with a big grin on her face.

"Hi Vicki. That's a neat dress- where'd you get it from?" She asked. Vicki shrugged and shook her head.

"From my cabinet. It's where I get most of my clothes~." She said. Seth and Kristin both laughed, amused by the witty remark that Vicki had accidentally made.

"So are you going to come to Seth's band's show? They're not very good, but it's something to do here on a Monday at least." Said Kristin. Vicki put her hands back behind her back again.

"My Dad doesn't want me to go. He thinks that I'm too young to go to the show." Said Vicki. Seth laughed and nudged his sister in the side.

"Too young. I told you so." He said. The employee that had been talking with Seth earlier appeared again from behind some clothes and pushed him. They began conversing once more and left Kristin and Vicki alone.

"That's too bad. I was kind of looking forward to some cool kids showing up for once at one of these gigs. Well… how old are you?" Said Kristin.

"I'll be fourteen on September the ninth." Said Vicki. "But I'll be seven in reversed dog years." She added. Kristin giggled and nodded.

"I turned fifteen last week- I'm not sure what that is reversed~." Said Kristin. Then she frowned a little bit. "Well Vicki, I wish you'd come to the show, maybe your Dad would change his mind if he met us. Try and talk him into it- he might like the show too." Vicki nodded.

"Okay, I'll try." She said back to Kristin. "My brother says that our Dad only listens to bad music anyways." She added. Kristin laughed out again and waved bye at Vicki as she disappeared to join her brother. Joan had just rounded back around the corner to check out at the cashier.

"Did you make some new friends?" Asked Joan hopefully. She started putting the various clothing items up on the counter.

"I think so. They both want me to come to the show still, they said I should try to talk Dad into it." Said Vicki, as she joined her mother at the counter. Joan looked down at Vicki with a sad smile.

"You really want to go to it, don't you?" Asked Joan. Vicki shrugged.

"It's something to do here on a Monday at least." She said. Joan nodded.

"I'll see what I can do. I think you should go Vicki. Even if it's not just to see that boy, you might still end up having a good time." Said Joan. She finished and paid for the clothes, and she and Vicki headed out towards the parking lot. Vicki helped her mother put the bags of clothes away into the car, and climbed into the passenger's seat. Joan sighed out and sat down in the driver's seat and started up the family car.

"Don't forget to pick up the stooges." Reminded Vicki. Joan smiled at her and put the car into drive.

"I'm sure they're fine, but we'll go check." Said Joan.

---

Vicki carried Ted into the house through the back door of the kitchen. He groaned and wheezed as she gently pushed her way through the swinging living room door, followed closely by Joan. Jamie grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and followed his mother into the living room, a look of embarrassment on his face.

"Carefully Vicki~!" Said Ted, as Vicki lowered him onto the couch.

"Ted! Why did you have to push yourself so far?!" Asked Joan, taking the icepack from Jamie and placing it over Ted's forehead. "You have to accept that Forty is not the new Twenty!" She said. Ted grumbled and sank into the couch.

"Come on, Mom, he was doing good until that jog up the Diablo! You should have seen him at the trail head- he was keeping up with all the health nuts!" Said Jamie. Vicki looked at Jamie and shook her head disapprovingly as she talked.

"The trail head only goes for a quarter of a mile." She said. Jamie gave her a knowing look and rolled his eyes.

"I was just trying to keep up with the younger guys out there, Joan, I'll be fine- once all the feeling leaves my lower back." Said Ted, as he painfully sat up. "Vicki, be a doll and help straighten out daddy's back…" Said Ted. Joan put a hand over her mouth.

"Be a doll." Repeated Vicki. She grabbed Ted by his shoulders and quickly bent him backwards a bit at his hips. Ted yowled out in pain and sunk back into the couch once more.

"That did it!" Said Ted, sounding quite shaky. "Thanks Vicki." He said. Vicki rolled her eyes.

"Anytime~." She said, and then she turned to leave for Jamie's room. Jamie gave Ted a gentle pat on the shoulder, to which Ted yelped in pain.

"Sorry Dad! Sorry… good effort!" He said, trying to lighten the mood. Ted moaned out and gave his son a single nod. Jamie frowned and turned towards his mother. "I'm going to go take a shower…" Said Jamie, as he too left down the hallway. Ted whimpered out and Joan nodded, taking a seat down by him.

"Ted, whatever possessed you to try to run up the mountain? You haven't even jogged downhill in over a year!" Said Joan. "What happened?" She asked.

"I was trying to keep up with Jamie." Said Ted. Joan's eyes opened wide.

"Jamie?" She asked, a little surprised.

"He had to open up a jar of olives for me last night, and I was humiliated. I just wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't in invalid old man." Said Ted, very upset with himself. He waited for a response but got none. Instead he felt the couch jiggle slightly, and he looked up to see his wife covering her mouth and laughing heartily at his situation. He grumbled and turned towards the couch back, hiding his face in the cushions.

Jamie shook his head as he gathered up his towels for his shower. He couldn't believe how embarrassing the situation had become atop the well traveled Mt. Diablo. His Father Ted had run all the way up the mountain side, until about the half mile marker. It was there that he heaved and gasped so much that he had thrown up. Jamie remembered the look on the other trail users faces, and cringed. Luckily there had been a very fit 60 year old doctor on the scene, and he checked Ted's vitals- in full view of everyone. It was pure luck that they didn't have to ride home in an ambulance, and he was grateful to the universe for providing his Mother and Vicki at the bottom of the trail. Still, having a 13 year old girl help a forty something man up into a car and then out onto the family couch was something Jamie never wanted to witness again.

"Bah." Said Jamie, as he waved his hands in front of him as if to ward away the evil spirit that had caused the jogging woes. He spied Vicki's empty cabinet and turned towards his small bathroom. "Are you in there again Vicki?" He asked out.

"Yes." She said through the door. Jamie shook his head and threw his towels over his shoulder.

"Don't spend your entire night in there. I'm going to go take a shower, so don't hold my calls~." He said jokingly. Vicki opened the bathroom door and stepped out in front of Jamie. He looked her up and down, and was genuinely wowed by her appearance. Vicki had applied her makeup herself this time, and had obviously been looking through a few magazine tutorials to do so. She had the look of an average but fairly attractive high school girl- like Molly Ringwald, or that girl from that show with the English butler. "Vicki! Wow! You should go show yourself to mom and dad!" He said.

"Did I do it wrong?" Asked Vicki, checking herself out in the mirror. Jamie put his hands on his hips.

"Vicki, if that's the wrong way to do it, then Elizabeth Taylor oughta be sued!" Said Jamie. Vicki looked at him, confused and missing out on what he meant. "It's good Vicki, you look like a T.V. star!" Said Jamie. Just as Vicki went back into the small half bathroom to recheck her reflection, Harriet came scampering up to Jamie's open window.

"Jamie!" She huffed out. Jamie put his towel around his head and pretended that he couldn't see her.

"What? Who's that? Everything's gone dark!" Said Jamie, as he made his way towards the main bathroom. Harriet caught her breath and waved her arms around.

"Jamie, that really fat pizza man from the pizzeria just pulled up to your house! What did you guys do? Did you win the pizza lottery?" She asked. Jamie unwrapped his towel from his face and looked at Harriet.

"What? We didn't do anything- I don't think!" He said. Harriet shook her head and gave him a worried look.

"Jamie, he looks like that guy from the Godfather! I hope you guys didn't back out on some kind of deal with him or his pizza family!" Said Harriet. The sound of the doorbell rang through out the house, and Vicki exited the bathroom. Harriet stared at Vicki as she walked past.

"I'll get it." Said Vicki as she left for the living room. Harriet looked over to Jamie.

"Was that Vicki?! She looked like one of those girls in the Avon magazines!" Said Harriet in utter disbelief. Then she eyed Jamie suspiciously. "Are you putting her up to something? Are you having her sell makeup door to door?" She asked him. Jamie folded his arms.

"Harriet, if I was, you'd be the first to know- I'd make sure." He said. Harriet opened her mouth, slightly insulted. She was about to retort with some choice words of her own, but looked down the Lawson's drive way and then back to Jamie.

"Uh oh Jamie. There's some other guys now too, it looks like they're packing some serious equipment! I'm outta here!" Said Harriet, as she skittered away. Jamie shook his head and left his bedroom. The Godfather, really. He thought, as he headed out to the living room.

Vicki had arrived to the living room just as her Mother was opening the front door, still laughing at poor Ted. Ted had straightened himself up and was sitting neatly on the couch, trying very hard to conceal his misery. The door opened to reveal the owner of the now less than popular pizza place. He was a very fat man, there was no way around it (or him) and his tailor fit white suit seemed to almost glow in the sun. He looked very much like a golf ball with legs, and Vicki thought it was strange that a man as big as that would bother with such tiny white shoes.

"Hello~!" Said Joan, as she took in the impressive girth of the man in white. He took his matching white fedora off and gave a slight bow to everyone in the room.

"Hello Madame~. Hello!" He said, addressing first Joan, and then Ted and Vicki. "So sorry to intrude on such a lovely day. My name is Mario, Antony Mario!" He said, giving another bow. Vicki bowed back to him.

"Hello Mario Antony Mario." She said. Ted shot her a look of disapproval and beckoned for Mr. Mario to enter the house.

"Well hello! I'm Ted Lawson, this is my wife Joan, and this is our daughter Vicki-" Began Ted. Mr. Mario entered the house and extended his hand to Vicki.

"Vicki!" He said very gleefully. Joan raised an eyebrow and looked at Ted. He looked equally surprised that this strange man had taken an interest in Vicki. Mr. Mario turned and smiled at Ted. "Mr. and Mrs. Lawson, I come here today to ask you for a stupendous favor! A favor which I return to you many times!" He said, with an almost too thick accent. Mario whistled out the door and two very prim and proper looking young men appeared at the door. Joan became nervous and gave an uncontrollable frown at the situation. She looked over as Jamie joined the rest of them, he too looked a little concerned.

"What is this about exactly?" Asked Ted, straining to see Mr. Mario. Mr. Mario moved to go stand in front of Ted, so that he could better see him. Ted acknowledged to himself that he probably seemed rude, not getting up. Just as Ted was about to rise, Mr. Mario sat down on the coffee table, and Jamie and Joan both grimaced at the thought of the poor table straining to keep together.

"Mr. Lawson, I tell you~! I'm a closing down my pizza store." Said Mr. Mario. The two young men at the door bowed their heads in reverence. Mr. Mario closed his eyes and waved his hand out at them. "No-no, don't cry, it's going to be alright! Mr. Lawson, I'm closing the store so that I can… how you say it- re-module?" Said Mr. Mario.

"Remodel?" Asked Ted. Mr. Mario nodded and clapped his hands, very happy that Ted was following along.

"Si-Si! We remodel, and open up again, much better than that stupid Pizza Hut!" He said, shaking his fist at the very mention of the rival pizza name. "A grand re-opening! Very Grand, Mr. Lawson, valet parking, wines and champagnes, and music." Said Mr. Mario. Joan joined them at the couch, still nervous over the two silent men in the front doorway. Jamie folded his arms and went to stand by Vicki, trying his best to look protective.

"What does this have to do with us?" Asked Joan. "And how did you know where we live?" She asked. Mr. Mario tugged on his luxurious mustache and smiled.

"Excuse, my daughter saw your daughter and son yesterday at my pizza store~." He said, giving a little finger wiggling wave to Jamie and Vicki. "I thought maybe I'll have her ask you, but she said no! She's a very shy girl- it's okay- so she followed you home yesterday!" Said Mr. Mario, very happily. Ted's face turned to one of concern.

"She followed us all the way home?" He asked, more as a matter of clarification. Jamie furrowed his brow and shook his head slightly.

"Do you mean Chloe?" Asked Jamie. Mr. Mario gave a very energetic nod to him.

"Si! Chloe, she's my daughter!" He said. Then he turned his attention back to Ted. "She wanted to come to the door yesterday, but she said a very scary looking woman, with the hair like fire~! She said she stared at her from the house next door- she got scared and ran away!" Said Mr. Mario. Ted nodded.

"That's a normal reaction, it happens to most of our visitors." Said Ted. Mr. Mario clapped his hands together and looked back and forth between Ted and Joan.

"Mr. Lawson, Mrs. Lawson, I hope you consider my plea!" Said Mr. Mario, as he grabbed Ted's hand and gave it a smooch. Ted's mouth dropped open and he tried to keep his composure. "I want your beautiful daughter Vicki to sing for our grand re-opening!" He said. Joan gave him a surprised look.

"Sing at the grand re-opening? But Mr. Mario, how have you ever heard her sing?" Asked Joan. Mr. Mario excitedly wiggled his arms around in the air as he answered.

"Two years ago~! I sit with my bambino in the big mall uptown~ and I hear this horrible music!" He said. "Then I go to see who is doing this to my ears! And I see a girl dressed like a big bee! She was awful too!" Said Mr. Mario. Ted's eyes opened wide, as he remembered the very instance that Mr. Mario spoke of. It had been a little over two years ago when Joan and Ted had entered Vicki into a pageant of sorts for the mall. Vicki's selected talent was her operatic singing and piano playing- which Ted had laid on thick thanks to Vicki's programmed abilities.

"Awful!" Said one of the men from the doorway, as he shook his head and looked down at the ground. Mr. Mario pointed to him and nodded, showing the Lawsons that even the man knew how bad it was.

"The terrible bee girl left, and just before I go to storm down and shout- I hear this beautiful piano~!" Said Mr. Mario, waving his hands slowly in the air as if he were playing the piano himself. "And then the singing!" He said, getting up from the table, and swirling away behind Joan and Ted.

"You mean the shopping mall pageant? That was so long ago… Mr. Mario, I'm not even sure that Vicki can still sing like that…" Said Joan, she looked over at Ted and nudged him. He shrugged, not knowing what to say. "That song she sang had a lot of ups and downs, it'd be hard for her to hit those high notes now." Said Joan. Mr. Mario frowned a bit.

"Hit those high notes now." Repeated Vicki. She opened her mouth wide and let loose with her piercing perfect pitch, and shattered two vases by the fireplace mantle. Mr. Mario clapped loudly and excitedly, and the two men in the doorway also applauded very energetically.

"BRAVO!" Said Mr. Mario, as he clapped. "Bravo!" Vicki took a tiny bow, and Ted and Joan looked at each other, quite worried. Jamie smiled and laughed a little nervously.

"Well, at least she didn't bring down the house." He said. Mr. Mario quickly went over to Ted and knelt down beside him at the couch.

"Mr. Lawson~! I beg of you- please-please let your daughter be the grandest part of my re-opening! Opera and pizza go together like that!" Said Mr. Mario, as he closed his two fingers together. "You think about it okay? I close down next week, and next month we re-module the whole place!" Said Mr. Mario, spreading his arms out as if he were waiting for an embrace. Ted blinked and looked over at Joan, who returned his look with a shrug.

"A month away? Okay, we'll think about it, it depends on what Vicki wants to do too…" Said Ted. Mr. Mario kissed his fingers and motioned in the air.

"Mama-mia! That's some good news! Thank you Mr. Lawson! Gratzi! Gratzi!" Said Mr. Mario, almost blubbering at the news. He took Ted's head in his hands and proceeded to kiss Ted on both sides of his face. Joan covered her mouth, her eyes wide with shock and hilarity. Jamie's mouth dropped open at the scene, and Vicki simply tilted her head to the side, taking in the odd practice and storing it in her bubble memory. "Gratzi Pisano!" Said Mr. Mario. Then he got up and joined the two men at the door. He turned and bowed one more time, and left. One of the men produced from behind the door a suitcase and laid it on the side table by the living room door.

"This is from Mr. Mario as a token of thanks and apologies for intruding on your Sunday." He said simply. Then he turned and promptly left. Jamie ran to the door and closed it cautiously. He turned and eyed the suitcase, along with Joan and a very embarrassed Ted.

"Are we going to open this, or call the police?" Asked Jamie, earnest in his questioning. Ted wiped the sides of his face off and sighed out. Vicki walked over to the couch and narrowed her eyes at Ted. He caught her look and then looked over to Joan and then back up to Vicki.

"What is it Vicki? Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked, a little defensive.

"I saw that man kiss you." She said, almost insinuating that Ted had committed some injustice. Ted's mouth dropped open and Joan giggled out.

"It's an Italian thing, Vicki, a custom! In Italy they kiss like that to show their friendship!" Said Ted, mad that Vicki had accused him of inviting the weird smooches. "Jamie, open up that suitcase!" He commanded, trying to take the focus off of himself. Jamie smiled and giggled to himself as he opened the case up. He produced from it a very nice set of pizza pans and an ornate pizza slicer.

"Oh, that's actually pretty nice!" Said Joan. "What do you think, Ted?" She asked. Ted stared off into space.

"I think I'm not sure that I want any business with someone who follows other people to their homes!" He said. Then he looked over to Jamie. "And who is this Chloe that followed us home?" He asked. Jamie frowned and put the pizza things back into the suitcase.

"She's the waitress at the pizza place, I thought she was nice- but it looks like she might not be now, huh?" Said Jamie, sounding a little ashamed. "I had no idea she was the owner's daughter! He's so old and she's only twen-" Jamie stopped himself, realizing that letting loose on Chloe's age wasn't going to help matters. Joan turned her attention to Vicki, who was still standing over Ted. She smiled and poked at Ted.

"I think she should sing at the reopening. We might even get a free dinner out of it! Besides, we don't want him to have to make us an offer we can't refuse~!" Said Joan, as she playfully snuggled up against Ted. Ted whimpered out and grasped his leg. "OH Ted! I'm sorry, I forgot!" Exclaimed Joan as she tried to ease away He gave her a quick smile and then buried his head into the cushions.

"Fine fine. Vicki, go sing." Said Ted, muffled through the pillows. Vicki turned on her heels and kissed her fingers before motioning in the air with her hand.

"Arrivederci." Said Vicki. With that, she left for Jamie's room, reciting some lines from Figaro as she went. Jamie shook his head.

"Great, now we've got a literal diva in the house." He said, leaving right behind Vicki. Joan watched them go and turned her attention back to her prone husband. He had returned to his laying down position on the couch and had curled up into a fetal position. She almost gave him a pat on the shoulder, but then thought better of it, biting the knuckle of her index finger in thought.

"Was Jamie trying to date a twenty year old woman?" Came Ted's muffled voice. Joan sighed out and put another pillow over Ted's back.

"I'm going to go get you some aspirin." She said as she left off of the couch. Ted groaned out and grabbed the pillow.

---

Later on that night, after Vicki had hoisted Ted into his and Joan's bed, and after a very less spicy dinner, Vicki sat on the edge of Jamie's bed as he paced back and forth in front of her. He walked to and fro, waiting for an idea to hatch about how to get out of feeding the snakes at the pet store. Monday was tomorrow, and Jamie knew that if he didn't come up with a good excuse, he might be fired on the spot. Vicki was paying attention to him, but at the same time she noticed that her legs were just barely able to reach the floor while she was sitting on Jamie's bed. This was true of the couch as well in the living room, but only when she sat well forward.

"I've got it!" Said Jamie, with a snap of the fingers. "I'll come down with chicken pox." He said, very smug with himself. Vicki shook her head.

"You can only get chicken pox once." She told him. He frowned and paced back and forth again. "Why don't you just tell the owner that you don't want to feed the snakes?" Asked Vicki. Jamie put his hands on his hips.

"Vicki, if I tell him that, he won't ever sign me up for any of the other stuff that I could do later on." He said. "This stinks. At this rate I'll have to lose an arm or something to get out of it." Said Jamie. Jamie yawned out.

"Maybe you'll think of something better in the morning." Said Vicki, trying to encourage her brother as best she could. He nodded with a scrunched up mouth. Vicki got off of his bed and moved to her cabinet. "I'll try to think of something too." She added. Jamie climbed into his bed and sighed out.

"Okay." He said simply. Vicki frowned a little, she could tell that Jamie's ego was in grave danger, and that was one of his most prized possessions. She closed the cabinet doors.

"Good night~." She said. Jamie replied with a grunt, still in thought about the day ahead.

That night, Vicki's dream program kicked on again. This time she was in an opera hall, with a near infinite amount of Jareths watching her from the audience. Some even had opera glasses upon their faces. Vicki began to sing a very strange pizza themed piece and the audience fell silent. She could see tears welling up in their eyes, as another Jareth in the conductor's pit motioned his hands in the air towards an unseen orchestra. Vicki hit the last note of the song, something about marinara sauce, and the goblin kings all stood up at the end of it all clapping and throwing bowtie pastas at her. They rushed the stage and all gave her eager pats on the shoulder, except for one particularly flamboyant audience member, who ran up and gave her two smooches on both sides of her nose. She woke up out of the dream as Jamie opened up the cabinet doors the next morning. Vicki opened her eyes, pouting and looking around confusedly.

"What does he have, a season pass?" She asked herself, sounding annoyed and in disbelief. Jamie blinked at her.

"Huh?" He said. "Well, it's almost time for me to go to work today. I guess I'm just going to have to face the music." He said, looking down at the ground. "At least Dad's feeling better, Mom's got him so hopped up on ibuprofen that he can't even feel his own head!" Said Jamie.

"I couldn't think of anything." Said Vicki. Jamie shrugged at her.

"Oh well. It was a good couple of days while it lasted, I guess. I don't feed them until 3 in the afternoon. You can come watch my career implode if you want to, it might be good 'data' to have for your own first job experience." Said Jamie, slightly smiling. Vicki shook her head.

"If I can't go to high school, I probably can't go to work either." She observed. Jamie gave her a sad look, but then led her out of her cabinet.

"No way Vicki, you'll get a job alright! Maybe that Mr. Mario will sign you on full time, and you can sing your way all the way to retirement…" He said. Jamie caught himself again. A robot would never retire. Vicki nodded and jingled some change in her jacket pocket.

"I'll be able to set up a 401K." She added. Jamie had no idea what that meant, but he smiled and the two of them left down the hallway. They were met by the sight of Ted smiling up at the ceiling. Vicki approached him and stood by the couch. She looked up as well, but saw nothing. She looked back down at Ted. "Why are you staring at the ceiling?" She asked him.

"I'm keeping my chin up." Said Ted, without much inflection. Jamie edged his way over to the couch and stood over Ted, so that he was in his direct line of sight.

"Dad… I don't think you're in any shape to drive me to work…" Said Jamie. "Maybe I'll just walk." He said. Vicki leaned into view too.

"At a leisurely jog, it would only take you eleven and a half minutes to reach your work place." She told him. Ted scoffed out and wavered his hands in front of them both.

"No! No Jamie! No more exercise for you! You'll go into high school and get drafted to the wrestling team!" He said, very out of sorts. Vicki and Jamie looked at each other and then stepped away from Ted.

"Uh huh. So are you going to come see me at 3 still, Vicki?" Asked Jamie. Vicki nodded and gave him a thumbs up.

"I wouldn't miss your implosion for the world." She said, losing her monotone again. Jamie smiled at her. For the briefest of seconds, Vicki was an ordinary girl. He turned and left out the front door of the house, leaving Vicki alone with Ted. Ted whimpered and turned to his side.

"My little bulky boy." He said to himself, softly. Vicki rolled her eyes and left for the kitchen, in search of Joan. Ted closed his eyes for a brief second, only to open them and find Joan and Vicki standing in front of him. Joan looked slightly impatient with him.

"Ted! Wake up!" Said Joan, as she shook his shoulder. Ted yawned out and sat up on the couch. He looked back and forth between Vicki and Joan.

"What time is it? How long did I sleep?" He asked, groggily. Vicki gave him a disappointed shake of the head and told him.

"You've been asleep for five hours, it's now two o' clock in the afternoon!" She said. Ted rubbed his eyes and yawned again.

"We're going downtown to watch Jamie feed the snakes at the pet store. He feeds them at three today- you go ahead and stay here if you're not feeling up to it." Said Joan, reassuringly. Ted nodded and closed his eyes again, but quickly opened them.

"Oh no! The snakes! Joanie, we've got to stop him!" Said Ted, as he teetered to his feet. Vicki helped him up and supported his weight with her hand. "Jamie thinks he's gonna blow it and get fired! Maybe we can stop it by telling the owner that there's a family emergency!…" He said. Joan put a hand on her hip.

"What? When did he tell you this?" She asked. Ted waved her on as he limped over to his shoes by the front door. "Ted, you are not going to your son's place of work, dressed in your pajamas!" Exclaimed Joan.

"Joan! This is an emergency! Jamie loves animals, we were right before! If he goes through with it, he'll never forgive himself!…" Said Ted, as he hopped on one shaky leg, putting his left shoe on. Vicki helped him again, balancing him with her other hand. "We have to hurry! Come on!" Said Ted frantically as he put his other shoe on. Vicki looked over to her mother, a questioning look on her face. Joan shook her head and huffed out.

"Ted, he'll never forgive you if you show up looking like that." Said Joan. Ted threw open the front door and pointed a finger in the air, making his point known for one and all.

"There's no time! Everyone in the car!" He demanded, as he ran out the front door. Joan ran to the door and yelled after him.

"Ted! Get back here!" She shouted, as she too left. Vicki left out the front door also, closing and locking the door as she left.

Later on that afternoon, Jamie looked up at the wall clock and began to sweat. 2:30 in the afternoon already. Time had flown by, even after being stuck with cleaning the hamster cages and the bird feeders! Jamie wiped his hands off on his shorts and sighed out, as he saw the owner, Mr. Mitchell walking towards him from the reptile part of the store.

"Are you ready? There are a few kids asking about the snake feeding already." He said to Jamie. Jamie gave him a nod and a smile. The owner returned the nod with a clicking noise of the tongue and a very brief thumb's up at Jamie. He left down the aisle towards the fish aquariums to talk with some other employee, leaving Jamie alone with his thoughts. He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to face Chloe, looking at him sheepishly.

"Hi~." She said, sounding a little pensive. Jamie scrunched his mouth up at her.

"Hi." He said back simply. Chloe looked down, and put her hands behind her back.

"I'm sorry Jamie- I know you're upset at me. My papa told me that he went to your family's house…" She began. She looked back up to him. "I wish I just would've told you what he wanted, honest!" Jamie folded his arms and took a disappointed posture with her.

"It really freaked my family out when your Dad showed up with those two goons at our front door. I sort of kinda liked you, you know, and now I don't what I think." Said Jamie. Chloe gave him a sad smile and nodded.

"I understand." She said. "I'm sorry again." She said, as she turned to leave. Jamie felt a strange emotion well up within him, and he went to stop her.

"Wait! I'm not mad, I'm just- aw. This stupid snake thing!" Said Jamie, realizing that he was venting frustration out on a beautiful older girl who had come to apologize to him. "I wish you'd stay!" He said, not caring how corny it sounded. Chloe smiled at him, and finally gave him a nod. Then she got a confused look on her face.

"Okay~! I will, but I thought you wanted to feed the snakes. What happened?" Asked Chloe. Jamie looked down at the ground.

"I can't do it. I can't feed a helpless little mouse to a snake like that." He said, repulsed by his own squeamishness. Chloe pushed his shoulder and smiled at him.

"Then don't!" She said. Jamie shook his head.

"If I don't, I might get fired! I don't want that on my resume when I go to college!" Said Jamie. Chloe smiled and giggled at him. Then she looked as if she were remembering something. She put her hands behind her back and looked Jamie squarely in the eyes.

"Jamie, no one's going to blame you for not wanting to feed that mouse to that snake, but someone's going to do it anyways. Plus, snakes eat mice all the time, so it's like the circle of life! At least you can take solace in that." Said Chloe. Jamie looked up at her, his eyes almost sparkling with admiration. He had no clue what the word solace actually meant, but everything she had just said to him made absolute sense.

"Yeah?" Asked Jamie, sounding awestruck. Chloe smiled and nodded at him.

"Yeah." She said. Their moment was quickly interrupted by two of the three Brindles. Brandon and Harriet snuck up on Jamie and started poking at him. Jamie turned around, surprised and furious that the moment was over.

"There he is~! Crocodile Dundee~!" Said Brandon, happily chiding Jamie. Harriet poked at him too, but she was paying more attention to Jamie's new friend.

"So who's this? Is she the snake charmer?" Asked Harriet, narrowing her eyes at the girl. Jamie shooed the two Brindles away and stood by Chloe.

"This is Chloe, she works at the pizza place. She's the owner's daughter." He said, sounding almost proud. Chloe rolled her eyes a bit and smiled down at Harriet. "And this is Mr. Brindle, and Harriet." Said Jamie, sounding less proud.

"One day to be Mrs. Lawson~!" Added Harriet. Jamie sighed out.

"Only if you marry Kent Lawson over in Blackhawk!" Said Jamie. Harriet ignored his refusal and produced from her little frilly purse a camera.

"I brought this to capture the moment! Then you can see how macho you look, standing in a pit of snakes, just like Harrison Ford~!" Said Harriet, dreamily as she mentioned the very name. "You're like my own little Indiana Jones!" Said Harriet, reaching out and forcibly hugging Jamie. Chloe stepped aside with a big smile on her face.

"Harriet!" Shouted Jamie, as he pulled her away. "Cut it out! And besides, that's stupid! Everyone knows Indiana Jones hates snakes!" He said. Harriet shrugged and took a picture of Jamie, dazing him with it's bright flash.

"Well, I hate mice even more! See? It's a perfect match!" She said. Then she skipped away towards the reptile portion of the store. Mr. Brindle stuck around, smiling and laughing as his daughter left. He cleared his throat and looked down at Jamie, concerned.

"So did I hear Harriet right on the way over here, you're going to feed the snake a LIVE mouse?" He asked, sounding almost grossed out. Jamie scrunched his mouth up and nodded.

"I'm afraid so, Mr. Brindle. I was gonna chicken out, but if I don't do it, someone else will have to do it instead. At least I can make sure the whole thing is quick." Said Jamie. "Besides, I'm gonna have to do lots of stuff I don't wanna do when I'm all grown up. I guess I might as well start now." Brandon gave Jamie a slightly saddened look and a quick pat on the shoulder.

"Well, good for you." He said with a genuine tone. Just as Jamie smiled up at him, he heard his father yelling from the store entrance.

"Jamie!" Yelled Ted, as he ran with some difficulty towards him. He ran up and embraced Jamie in a full on hug, making Jamie turn red with embarrassment. Chloe laughed out and stood aside, crossing her arms and taking in the amusing sight. "Jamie, don't do it! You don't have to feed that snake if you don't want to, we'll get you a better job somewhere else!" Said Ted, still trying to cling to Jamie, who was pushing him away.

"Somewhere where there's no snakes." Added Vicki, as she joined the little crowd. Joan also joined them and helped to pull Ted away. Jamie looked at his Father and grimaced.

"Dad, what are you doing here?!" He hissed out. "I'll die of embarrassment before the mouse even leaves the cage!" He said. Ted shook his head, and tied his pajama robe even tighter.

"Jamie, I'm here to rescue you from a big mistake. I know you don't want to feed the mouse to the snake…" Began Ted. Jamie smiled and put his hands on hips.

"It's okay now, Dad. I'm going to do it. I'm fifteen, it's time I started growing up a little." Said Jamie. Chloe, who had been standing back and watching, made a surprised noise. They all looked at her. She smiled and casually walked away towards the reptiles too. "Trust me, I'll be okay." Said Jamie, as he smiled up at his father. Ted frowned down at his son, his much taller than he had ever seemed before son.

"Are you sure?" Asked Ted. Jamie gave him a big nod.

"Yep." He said, simply. Ted sighed out and smiled at him.

"Okay then. I'll try to stay in the shadows and not embarrass you too much." He said with a slight tone of sadness. Jamie smiled and turned to leave for the snake cages. Ted watched him go and caught himself almost having to stifle a tear.

"Cool PJ's dude!" Said a boy from behind Ted. Ted turned to see the boy that had given Vicki her flyer earlier on the previous Saturday. Seth smiled up at Ted, appraising the ensemble. "Very Arthur Dent, man." He said. Ted gave him a confused look.

"Thanks?" He said. A girl went rushing past Ted and the boy, and over to Vicki.

"Hi Vicki! Are you here to see the snake sacrifice?" Asked the girl jokingly. Vicki nodded.

"My brother is the one conducting the ceremony." Answered Vicki. Joan smiled and looked over at Ted, who had a total look of confusion and curiosity on his face.

"Far out! He's feeding the snakes!? Can we come watch with you?" Asked Kristin. Vicki gave her a smile and nodded. Seth kept his eye on Ted.

"Is that real fur?" He asked, a little suspiciously. He was whisked away by his sister before he could get an answer, and he along with Kristin and Vicki left for the snake cages too. Brandon clapped his hands and laughed, putting an arm around Ted.

"You know Ted, they certainly grow up fast!" Said Brandon, as he led Ted and Joan to the snake feeding area. A gaggle of kids gathered around the biggest snake aquarium, all excitedly jumping up and down to get a better view. Harriet was there in amongst the kids, standing tallest of course, with her camera in hand. She spotted the Lawsons, and waved at them. Ted looked around and saw Vicki talking with the girl and boy, seeming to have a good time of it. Ted's heart did a tumble as Jamie walked out from behind a restricted access door.

"Yeah they sure do." Said Ted, a little sadly. Brandon gave Ted a punch to the shoulder, making him recoil a bit in pain.

"Awww~! I see that Teddy! You've got that old man look in your eye! Afraid your boy is growing up too fast!" Said Brandon. Ted shot him a look and then watched as Jamie went to talk with the owner of the store. The owner had already opened the mouse cage and seemed to be informing Jamie about gloves and handling. He frowned a bit as Jamie put on his glove, and looked away over towards Vicki, who was actually smiling. Vicki was listening to her new friend talk, and was following along, while the older boy behind them shuffled away to help a kid reach a pet collar in the aisle nearby. His vision blurred and Ted looked over at Joan.

"Look at that Ted, doesn't Jamie look just like that wildlife expert? Hannah, is that his name?" She asked him, apparently not as moved by the spectacle. Ted frowned out and looked back at Jamie. He was grabbing in the mouse cage, trying to catch one of the many fleeing mice.

"He does kind of. Yeah." Said Ted, nodding. Brandon clapped his hands together and raised himself on his heels. He nudged Ted and laughed out.

"Lighten up, Lawson! It's not like he's joining the army! Besides, you can't treat them like they're puppies forever, that'd be kind of mean anyways, like animal cruelty. Kid animal cruelty." Said Brandon, gesturing with his finger back and forth. Ted scrunched his mouth up and looked over at Vicki and her new friends again. Vicki was acting out how a snake moves with her arm, as she talked to the boy. Brandon continued. "Bonnie's father babied all the kids in her family, you should see the rest of them- that whole family is terrible. Just terrible! Not a thick skinned one in the whole bunch! Except for Bonnie, of course!" Said Brandon, making sure to let them know that Bonnie was surely different from her horrible family members. Surely.

"Oh? It's a good thing she has you, Brandon." Said Joan, trying to sound genuine. Brandon got a smug smile on his face and beamed towards the snake aquarium. Ted looked at Joan, and then Brandon. He smiled and looked on as Vicki made her new friend laugh, and as Jamie caught his mouse, holding it up proudly for the owner to see.

"You know Brandon, I don't know if it's the pain killers talking or not, but what you just said made an awful lot of sense." Said Ted, punching Brandon back in the shoulder. "Thank you." Said Ted. Brandon gave Ted a concerned look. He couldn't quite remember a time when Ted had ever told him 'thank you'. Brandon bobbled his head a bit and then motioned towards the snake enclosure.

"Anytime neighbor! I'm gonna go get a better view over with Harriet." He said, leaving for the aquarium. Ted gave Joan a strong shoulder hug. She looked over at him, a little smile on her face.

"Joan, you should take that job." Said Ted. Joan's face lit up with a huge smile.

"Really? But what about Vicki's home schooling?" She asked. Ted shook his head.

"We're gonna send her to high school! And she'll knock that public school GPA right out of the ballpark!" He said, motioning with his arms the act of swinging a baseball bat. He pulled a muscle and cringed. Joan steadied him and smiled. "And you know what else? I think we should all go to that music show. It'll be a good way to end the 'stay-cation." He said. Joan nodded.

"Oh Ted- that's wonderful! We should go tell Vicki after this whole snake thing is over with!" She said, hugging him gently, so as to not hurt his already pained body. They moved to where Vicki and her friend were standing, the boy Seth had wandered off looking at the black lit fish in the fish tanks. Ted smiled at how easily entertained the boy was, and felt at ease with the idea of him talking to Vicki. Vicki noticed Ted and Joan behind her and gave them a quick smile, returning quickly to the conversation between her and the girl. Ted and Joan looked up as Jamie approached the snake enclosure, mouse in hand.

"You can do it Jamie~." Whispered Chloe from the sidelines. Jamie smiled and walked on as the owner kept instructing him on what to do. The owner stopped and made a funny face at the kids who had come hoping to witness some carnage. They laughed at his antics, and looked on as Jamie went to open the huge python's aquarium. Harriet smiled and pulled her camera to her face, as Brandon stood by looking a little nervous at the whole situation. The owner looked at Harriet and shook his head in disbelief at how much of a spectacle a snake feeding had become.

"That Brandon Brindle, you know what Joan? He's kind of an oaf and a doofus sometimes, but he's an alright guy, too." Said Ted. Joan squeezed his hand and smiled.

"Ted, I gave you more painkillers than I probably should have, don't get too emotional." She said. She brought her hand up to her mouth and covered it as Jamie dangled the mouse over the cage. Jamie looked at the mouse with a slight frown on his face, hoping that the mouse wouldn't feel any pain. He sighed out and went to drop the mouse in the enclosure.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Yelled Brandon Brindle, as he jumped through the air and caught the mouse in his own hands. Jamie fell back, confused and shocked at the sudden action of his next door neighbor, while everyone else murmured out in surprise. The owner put his hands on his hips. "I'll save you mousey! Don't worry!" Said Brandon, as he ran off into the far reaches of the store. Harriet angrily let her camera drop back down to her chest.

"Daddy! Not again! I can't take you anywhere!" She yelled, storming off after him. "Come back here with that snake food!" She shouted. The owner eyed Jamie, who just smiled back and closed the snake cage. The kids that had gathered gave out a collective groan of disappointment.

"Do you know those people?" Asked the owner. Jamie nodded. The owner narrowed his eyes and held out his hand for Jamie's glove and apron. "You know what comes next." Said the owner.

"I quit?" Asked Jamie, handing over the items. The owner took the apron and glove and motioned with his thumb towards the front doors.

"Close enough." He said, turning to go grab another mouse. "Someone clothes line that idiot and throw him out!" Yelled Mr. Mitchell as some employees skittered past. Ted, Joan, and Vicki all ran to Jamie, giving him encouragement.

"Way to go Jamie! You showed him who's boss!" Said Joan. Jamie raised an eyebrow and gave his mother a sarcastic looking grin.

"Yeah, he is, just not mine anymore." He said. Chloe patted Jamie on the back as she passed by them. "Wait!" Said Jamie. He motioned at Chloe, looking at his parents. "This is Chloe! She's the one I met at the pizza place, and she said she was real sorry." Said Jamie. Chloe smiled up at the Lawsons and turned back to Jamie.

"I've got to get back to work now Jamie, I'm sorry." She said. Vicki shook her head and looked at Chloe.

"It's closing down next week." She stated simply. Chloe acknowledged the truth of the comment with a shrug and a nod. Ted smiled and looked around at everyone.

"You know what? Forget working and jobs for one day. We should all go to that music show together! What do you say?!" Said Ted, still feeling euphoric from a mixture of painkillers and seeing his children grow past his expectations. The small group agreed with unanimous cheer and together they left for the front doors. "Who's driving? I'm still kind of seeing double here…" Said Ted, as they shuffled out the doors. Brandon Brindle yelled from an unseen place in the store, as he was tackled by his own daughter.

---

The music show had been surprisingly good. The band known as Cannonball, for reasons made abundantly clear at the show's finale, had actually sounded like a band well rehearsed and tuned for a crowd of about one hundred people. The turn out was so good that the poor popcorn cart owner had gotten in over his head, and had to leave abruptly for more supplies. Ted and Joan watched on as Jamie danced with the much taller Chloe, and laughed together as Vicki was taught some dance moves by the girl Kristin (who insisted on being called Kris).

Cannonball performed a lot of 1970's music, rehashed in the nearly punk sound of the band. Even some Simon and Garfunkle found it's way into the mayhem of the electric guitars and patch work drum set. Ted and Joan found themselves dancing to a slightly poor reworking of 'In the summertime' by Mungo Jerry, but it was the final song that stopped the show- literally. The band played on, with Seth hammering away on his Bass guitar, and the drummer banging out on his cymbals a song by a band called Thin Lizzy. The song was titled Jailbreak, and mid song, a cannon was brought out on stage by some less than educated looking technicians. They loaded the cannon with a safety blank, the kind used at fireworks shows, and set it off during the noisiest part of the song. The reverb of the cannon fire shook the stage so hard that it tilted to the right- sending all the band off of the stage before they could finish the song.

It was definitely a unique end to an unusual show. When it was all said and done, the now slightly more deaf Lawsons had forgiven Chloe and had even reconciled with the Brindles, who had shown up to apologize for Brandon's actions. Ted and Joan had even let Jamie and Vicki stay out longer with their new friends, with the knowledge that Chloe would provide for them a ride home. His ears still ringing from the cannon fire, Ted looked over at Joan and shook his head.

"I never thought a song about the sound of silence could get so loud." He said, a little more loudly than usual. Joan nodded, seeming to understand.

"I'll get some more at the store tomorrow!" She answered back. Ted nodded, at a loss for his wife's odd words. The front door opened up and Jamie appeared in it.

"Hello~!" He said. Ted waved at him, his pain having subsided greatly.

"Well that was faster than I thought! Where's Vicki?" He asked. Jamie waggled his eyebrows.

"She's still out there saying goodnight to Seth… and Kris." He said, entering the living room. "Poor Chloe has to watch the whole thing from her car. I think Seth wants to say goodnight to Vicki." He added. Ted frowned a bit and looked at Joan.

"You know, I just don't understand that boy, for all the trouble he went through to talk to Vicki and get her to his show, he sure doesn't seem to be that interested in her." Said Ted. Joan raised an eyebrow and gave a nod.

"Kids these days. You never know what they're up to." She said. Jamie folded his arms and took a peek outside the living room window.

Vicki walked up to the front door of the Lawson house, followed by Seth and Kristin. She turned and smiled at them as they approached.

"Thanks for coming to our show Vicki! And sorry about the cannon. We'll probably get new cannon guys after this last time." Said Seth. Kristin smiled and nodded. Seth got a strange look on his face and turned to leave. "Well… next time we're playing we'll be sure to look for you!" Said Seth as he left down the patio, leaving Vicki alone with Kristin.

"Yeah, you should come see us again- you're pretty fun!" Said Kristin. "Well, you do have our phone number don't you? Seth said he wrote it on the back of the flyer that he gave you." She said. Vicki nodded, and even recited the number for Kristin.

"555-5309." Said Vicki with a nod. "Do you want me to call you?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. Kristin just gave a quick nod and smile, seeming to blush a little bit. "Thank you for inviting me to the show, it was fun~." Said Vicki.

"Alright, well then… goodnight?" Asked Kristin. Vicki smiled and nodded.

"Good night, Kristin." She said. Kristin smiled and got close to give Vicki a hug.

Back inside the Lawson house, Ted shooed Jamie away from the window. Joan laughed and read from the daily paper as Jamie backed up from his vantage point.

"Jamie! Get away from there, stop trying to embarrass your sister!" Said Ted. "We told her all about saying goodnight, don't worry- she's just being polite." He said. Jamie rubbed his eyes and stood by the couch.

"Hmm." He simply said. The front door opened and Vicki walked in, her back to them all still, as she watched the car pull away. Vicki slowly closed the door and stood there, facing the window still, apparently in a sort of deep thought. Ted looked at Joan and Jamie before looking over to Vicki.

"How'd everything go Vicki? Did your friends say goodbye?" Asked Ted. Joan smiled and craned to see Vicki too.

"Did that Seth try to give you a peck on the cheek?" Asked Joan, a note of mockery in her voice. Of course Joan knew that Seth hadn't had a girlfriend after all. Still, he seemed like an aloof boy to her.

"No." Said Vicki, very plainly. She turned around to face them, and shocked them all with a big red smack of lipstick on her cheek. Ted's mouth dropped far open, speechless and stunned. Joan simply covered her mouth and tried not to shriek out. Jamie crossed his arms and scoffed.

"Mom, I don't think that that's Vicki's shade of lipstick." He said. Joan sprang up from the couch and went to wipe off the mark from Vicki's face, but it stuck very stubbornly.

"Oh Vicki! What?… I mean!…" Said Joan, still at a loss for words. Ted blinked and looked at Vicki, who in turn looked very confused and unversed in what had just transpired.

"I think I'm going to go have a lie down." He said getting up from the couch.

"Ted! Don't you dare! Vicki- you stay away from those two from now on!" Said Joan, showing her rarely seen angrier side. "I can't believe this! Vicki… do you know why this happened? Did something go on out there that would have made that girl do this?!" She asked. Vicki shrugged.

"Maybe she's Italian?" Vicki asked back. Joan frowned and shook her head.

"Mama-mia." Said Ted. Joan turned around and shot him a look. Ted cringed. "Listen to your mother Vicki! Stay away from those two from now on, unless one of us is with you! You don't need to get mixed up in that rock and roll lifestyle." Said Ted, adamantly shaking a finger at her for the benefit of Joan. Jamie rolled his eyes and sat down in the chair across from the couch.

"Rock and roll lifestyle?" Asked Jamie, as he shook his head at them. "Well Dad, I guess we won't have to worry about the other girls in high school being so mean to her, huh?" He said with a slight smile. Ted looked over and frowned at his son.

"I guess not." He huffed out. Joan finally got the lipstick off of Vicki's face, looking irritated and still shocked at the other girl's behavior. Vicki stared up at Ted, waiting for some counsel. He sighed out and ruffled her hair. "Welcome to the end of the eighties." He said to himself.

The End.

The Lawson Family will return in:

(S5E2) Too Good To Be True

Come and read again~!