A/N: Hi, guys! Here's my possibly triumphant return to FF. Anyways, I found these OCs from when I was like 10, and I decided to be true to my younger self and write a story about them. Here goes, and sorry if there's any OOC!

It was a pretty average day at the zoo. There was really nothing going on, just the standard antics of the animals.

"I don't trust it," Skipper shook his head. "There's a situation, we just haven't found it yet."

"I'm rather enjoying it." Private shrugged. "Just one quiet day." He was fiddling with the TV remote while Kowalski looked through the telescope.

"Do not enjoy this warm, sunny day, Private!" Skipper ordered. "Something could be waiting to sneak up on you and catch you off guard…just…like…"

"HELLO!" An eye showed up in Kowalski's telescope.

Kowalski jumped visibly. "SWEET MOTHER OF ISAAC NEWTON!"

It was, to their misfortune, King Julien, with Maurice and Mort trailing behind him, as always.

"That." Skipper sighed. "Just like that, Private." Private nodded in understanding. "So what brings you to our humble abode, Ringtail? Just come to bother us about nothing again?"

"If you must know, Mr. I Know Everything In JULIEN'S Kingdom, I came to talk to you about the penguins."

They were bewildered. "Um…us?" Kowalski tried to clarify.

"AHA!" Julien yelled triumphantly. "So it appears you don't know everything going on here! How does it feel to be out of the loop?"

"Just tell us what we're 'missing out on,' Ringtail." Skipper ordered.

"There are new penguins coming!"

"What?!"

"And I hear…they are the girly-types."

"Like hippies?"

"He means females," Maurice interjected.

"But we can't have women here, especially not while we're working on a top secret mission! Women are fragile and delicate…like Private!"

"What about Marlene?" Rico barely stuttered out.

"True, there are some exceptions-"

"WHAT?! Yeah, I'm dumping them off now!" The sharp voice of Alice the zookeeper rang out. There were clumps above the room, where the girls had presumably landed.

Skipper waved a flipper to get everyone's attention. "No…sudden…move-"

There was a loud noise as Julien accidentally pushed the doll girl to the ground. Rico made a noise of horror and went to prop her up again.

With four thumps, the other girls landed in the room.

"Nice work, Hunter!" The stocky one in the middle grinned. An abnormally tall penguin girl nodded in place of thanks.

"Hi, we're the-" Private approached the girl that seemed to be the leader, but she hit him in the face with her flipper, which had a giant piece missing.

"Are you okay?!" As quickly as he was hit, a small penguin girl came from behind the rest of them to help him back up.

"Nina," the leader rolled her eyes, "you don't ask the enemy if they're okay!"

"We're the enemy?!" Skipper countered. "You're the enemy!"

"No, you're the enemy!"

"I thought we were the enemy," Maurice remarked in a snarky way.

"Well, if you're the enemy, and the enemy of my enemy is my friend," the leader reasoned, "then you're our allies against our common enemy!"

"Enemy is a fun word!" Mort shrieked.

"EVERYONE, CALM DOWN!" Kowalski interjected, stepping in the middle. "Let's not jump to conclusions. Why don't we just introduce ourselves first?"

"Fine, I'll introduce you to the team." The leader groaned. "The tall one with the tiny feet is Shelley, our smartest."

"Hi." Shelley nodded.

"The small one is Nina, our cutest."

The girl who went to help Private giggled.

"The really tall one is Hunter, our craziest.

"Aye-up." Hunter grinned.

"And I'm Sandy, the leader." She stood triumphantly. "We act as vigilantes, a spy group, and a doo-wop band."

"Yeah?" Skipper eyed her challengingly. "Boys, initiate introduction sequence!"

They fell into a straight line. Skipper began, "That's Kowalski, our smartest."

Kowalski took out a master plan for a functioning airplane constructed entirely of fish bones. "As you can see."

"That's Private, our cutest."

"Are those rainbows in his eyes?" Sandy whispered, horrified, to Shelley.

"That's Rico, our craziest."

Rico threw up a blowtorch.

Hunter nodded. "Respect."

"Last but not least, I'm Skipper, the leader and our toughest."

"You don't look so tough," Sandy countered.

"Neither do you, toots."

"You see this?" She held up her injured flipper. "Bitten by a shark."

"You know what? As far as I'm concerned, you can go to…the H word."

Everyone gasped.

"I dare you to say it." She snarled.

He narrowed his eyes. "Hoboken."

Everyone gasped louder.

Sandy's face twisted in anger. "Girls, we've got planning to do. Dramatic exit!"

With that, they all left, but Nina took a second to look over to Private, frowning.