Author's Note: This is back by popular demand with expressed consent from the author, RECOVERING4LIFE.

Chapter One: Goodbye My Lover

"..Took your soul out into the night
It may be over but it won't stop there
I am here for you if you'd only care
You touched my heart you touched my soul
You changed my life and all my goals
And love is blind and that I knew when
My heart was blinded by you
I've kissed your lips and held your hand
Shared your dreams and shared your bed
I know you well, I know your smell
I've been addicted to you
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me…"

~ "Goodbye My Lover" – James Blunt

September…

Aria stood in the rain fighting her tears.

He hadn't come.

Ezra hadn't come for her. She'd never felt as alone in her life as she did standing in the pouring rain waiting for him. She'd called, begging him that if he cared for her at all and wanted to be with her to come meet her. Her hope was that she meant more to him than just a job. He'd once told her that he'd do anything for her and she believed that. She still believed in his declaration of love, but as the hours past, Aria's hope fell.

Didn't he care about her? How could they go through so much together and then have it crumble away like it never mattered?

Swallowing hard, Aria wiped away the tears that had started falling as everything passed before her eyes in a blur. She thought they loved each other, but in the past few months all Ezra had caused her was pain. All she could feel was her heartbreaking with each passing minute. She was drenched and shivering when rain stopped hitting her. She looked up to see an umbrella above her. Spinning around hoping to see Ezra, she nearly burst into tears seeing Jason DeLaurentis standing there with a look of concern on his handsome face.

"You alright? You've been standing in the rain for a while now," he said quietly.

Aria couldn't stop herself as she hugged Jason tightly.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed, caught off guard as he clutched the umbrella.

She cried into his chest, not caring what he thought of her. Ezra hadn't come and his rejection stung. Aria never thought that he could hurt her like he was now. It was like he'd opened her chest and injected acid into her heart directly. Jason's arms went around her and she felt him tuck her to his chest snugly as she sobbed miserably. He didn't ask any questions, but just let her cry as they both stood under the umbrella. It was like she'd cracked. Every emotion was coming out that she'd been trying to cover up for the past few weeks. The fear of Ezra getting in trouble, the apprehension of living in an unstable home, the terror from A, everything was weighting on her and it was coming out all at once.

Jason's large hand rubbed her back gently. She wasn't sure how long they'd stood there, but her tears slowly subsided and she pulled away from him. Wiping away her remaining tears, Aria looked down at her feet. Wrapping her arms around her petite frame she turned away from Jason ashamed that he'd seen her breakdown. He didn't need to know all her problems. He had plenty of his own, Aria was positive of it.

"I'm sorry," she whispered miserably, "I have to go."

She stepped out from under the umbrella but Jason grabbed her elbow and pulled her back under the umbrella.

"What's wrong, Aria?" He said looking at her sadly. "Talk to me."

She bit her bottom lip and tears slowly began to fall down her cheeks again. She thought she'd cried them all away, but she hadn't. Jason wrapped his arm around her thin shoulders and tucked her to his side.

"Come on. Let's get you home, Aria," he murmured softly as he guided her back to his silver Volvo.

Still holding the umbrella, Jason opened the back door of the car.

"Take off your jacket," he commanded quietly.

Aria did as she was told and shivered even more as the cold evening wind hit her damp arms. Jason grabbed a blanket that had been on the back seat and took her coat, tossing it where the blanket had been. He offered her the blanket and Aria hesitantly took it. Closing the back door and opening the passenger door, Jason held the umbrella over her as she climbed into the car. He shut the door and jogged around to the other side of the car. He closed the umbrella and put it on the backseat with the jacket. Getting into the driver's seat, he turned the car on, blasting warm air on Aria to warm her up. She shivered violently as she held out a hand to warm her numb fingers.

"You'll be warm soon. I promise," Jason murmured as he looked over his shoulder merging into traffic. Aria's occasional sobs was the only noise that was made on the ride back to Rosewood. As he drove down Main Street, she was able to calm herself to the point where she felt confident that she could walk into her house and not attract attention. She looked out the window and took a shaky breath as Jason turned down her street. When he passed her house, Aria turned and looked at him confused.

"Where are you going?"

Her voice was hoarse and it hurt to talk. She watched Jason drive to the end of the street and turn left like they were going to Spencer's house. She was even more surprised when they passed Spencer's house. At the end of the street, he pulled into the neighborhood park that had been built a few years back.

Jason parked the car and turned the lights and engine off. In the darkness of the night, Aria realized that the small amount of self-control she'd been using was quickly vanishing and the darkness was a comfort to her. She could cry and no one would see her tears or her face. She didn't even know she was crying until she felt Jason's hand take her clasped ones. His thumb rubbed soothing circles into the palm of her hand.

"Aria, what's wrong?" he asked calmly.

Something about his voice made Aria's self-control break even more. She trusted him and something in her said that she could tell him everything. He was like a big brother and he'd never her hurt like Ezra had. Even when she'd kissed him, he hadn't tried to hurt her. He'd just accepted that they wouldn't be together but Aria knew that no one could hurt her as bad as much as Ezra was.

"Aria…did someone…hurt you?" Jason asked cautiously worried about what had upset her to the point where she was close to hyperventilating. He didn't want to think that some man had done that to her, but if a man had, Jason promised himself that he'd damn well make sure that the man would pay. She instantly shook her head no and he let out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.

Aria's breathing quickly increased to the point where she was hyperventilating. Jason threw his door opened and quickly walked to her side and opened her door. He unbuckled her seatbelt and turned her so that she was seated sideways on the seat, her feet touching the soft earth outside and the fresh air hitting her face.

"Breath in some fresh air slowly," he coached her quietly as he rubbed her knees. "Just breathe, Aria."

It took her a few minutes to calm herself down but she managed. Jason had gotten tissues from somewhere and pressed them into her hand.

"Thank you," Aria said softly as she wiped her eyes. Jason nodded and kept quiet waiting for her to talk. He didn't press her for any details or reasons why she was crying and Aria was grateful. Sitting in the dark park and hearing the crickets and the sounds of nature was relaxing.

"I'm sorry for keeping you from home," she said looking at the digital clock on the dashboard of his Volvo. "I should go."

"You're not keeping me from anything and we'll stay here for as long as you need," Jason's deep, smooth voice replied. "I'm not in any hurry. I just want to know why you're upset and if I can help you in anyway."

"Unless you can turn back time, you can't do anything."

"I wish I could turn back time, but I can't."

Aria was silent for a long time before she made up her mind to tell him everything. Jason made her feel safe and the fact that he wasn't A, but Spencer and Allie's brother made her feel even safer. Her body felt like it was being crushed under her secrets and a side of her, she didn't know if it was rational or irrational, told her that by telling someone else it would be easier for her to share them.

"Ezra didn't come tonight," she finally confessed. "I'd called him hoping that he would come but he didn't."

"I'm sorry," Jason said. "I know you waited a long time. I was having dinner with my old roommate and I saw you. You waited longer than anyone should."

Aria nodded and fought back tears again, "I met him in a bar before school started last year. We made out in the bathroom and left it at that. I didn't even know he was my teacher until the first day of school. I didn't know that Ezra Fitz was going to teach my English class."

If Jason was shocked, he didn't show it. Instead, he rubbed her hand again and listened as she continued.

"We both tried to stop it, but one thing led to another and suddenly we were together and things seemed right for a while. He got a job offer at Hollis and he took it. He worked with my dad and it was like the world was perfect until I wanted more. I wanted to be able to go out in public and be like a regular couple and he didn't want that. He liked that we met secretly in his apartment and…I don't know…I didn't."

"No one likes being treated like a dirty secret," Jason said softly.

"Yeah, well, when we came out to my parents it felt like it was worse than a dirty secret. I have been on complete lock down ever since we told them and Ezra hasn't called me back once. My mom told me that my dad threatened Ezra that he'd go to the Dean at Hollis if he didn't break up with me. I'd like to think that Ezra loves me more than his job but…I think he's giving up," she cried. "I mean, I keep calling him on Spencer and Emily's phone, but he won't call back! It's like I don't exist to him anymore and he just cut me out of his life and tossed me in the trash. I don't understand! I mean, for God's sake, my father had an affair with a graduate student and made me keep that secret from my mother for over a year. Now, he's just acting like it never happened and it hurts that he's punishing me for being with Ezra."

Jason was silent and Aria looked down where his fingers were intertwined with hers. He had long, thin fingers that reminded Aria of the hands of someone who played piano. A tear fell and hit his skin, but Jason didn't move his hand away from hers. His grip only tightened and she felt so tired in that moment.

"My brother hasn't gotten out of bed in a while. He's so depressed," she confessed. "I'm scared for him and I think he blames me for all the fighting my parents have been doing recently. My mom may have moved back in, but its back to the way things were before she moved out. They won't stop fighting and it's not helping Mike. I've only made things a hundred times worse for him now."

"You haven't done anything," Jason said firmly. "Mike's problems aren't yours and you can't fix him. Only Mike can work on fixing himself. You're not responsible for Mike or your parents. I know you like to be the fixer of everyone, but you can't fix them. If you're parents are fighting it because they choose to, not because they have to."

"I feel like it's my entire fault though."

"So what? You're not in control of them or Mike. Let it go and worry about yourself and your problems. Don't try and fix their problems. And if Ezra was a real man and wanted to be with you, he'd have shown up. Tonight, you've learned something."

"Learned what?" Aria asked her voice cracking.

"Any man who loves a woman is willing to do whatever it takes to keep her with him. You are a beautiful, amazing young woman who doesn't deserve a man who can't or isn't willing to sacrifice everything just to have the right to love you in the open instead of hiding you like he's ashamed of you," Jason said softly brushing a tear away from cheek with the pad of his thumb. "He isn't worth your heartbreak, Aria. No man should reduce a woman tears like this."

Aria leaned forward and cried into Jason shoulder as he held her close. His words only confirmed what she knew inside and had been denying. Hearing it out loud was like the final blow to her heart that shattered it into a million broken pieces.

Jason held her close and for a second time that night lent his shoulder for her to cry on. He'd liked Aria for years and to see her upset like she was hurt him but he was grateful he could be the shoulder she leaned on for comfort. Her tears slowed eventually and she pulled way looking exhausted.

"I think I want to home," she murmured quietly wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

Jason nodded and stood up dusting off his jeans. He let her get herself back in the car before closing the door and walking back around to the driver's side. He got in and turned the car on to help fight the noticeable chill that had started from the cold September night. It didn't take long for Jason to get them back to her house and once parked in the drive way, he climbed out with her. Wrapping an arm around her exhausted form, Jason walked her to the door and knocked. A frazzled Ella opened the door and sighed in relief.

"Thank God! You're alright," she said drawing a damp Aria into her arms, "Byron couldn't find you and we were nervous."

"Sorry, mom," Aria mumbled.

"Are you alright? You look like you've been crying," Ella questioned inspecting Aria closely.

"Mom," Aria started weakly, but Jason interrupted.

"It's my fault, Ella," he said quietly. "Aria and I ran into each other in Philadelphia and went to dinner. We got to talking and we were reminiscing about Allison. She got upset when I was telling a story about when we were kids, Allie and I would go up to the lake and swim. I don't think we realized how much we really miss Allison. I'm sorry."

Ella nodded sadly and let go of Aria, "I'll go call Byron and tell him that you're here but I have one question though. What happen to going out with Holden, Aria?"

"I didn't want to," Aria lied quickly. "It's not him, it's me and I just…didn't want his company today."

Ella nodded again and gave Aria a quick hug before moving away towards the kitchen to get the phone.

Aria turned and looked at Jason, "Thank you."

"It's not a problem, Aria," he whispered brushing a loose curl behind her cheek. "You know that you're more than welcome to come to my house if you need to get out. Anytime, remember that."

She nodded and gave him a hesitant hug. Jason's strong arms wrapped around her tiny frame and she felt safe. She could feel his cheek pressed against the top of her hair and felt some comfort from him. It couldn't put her broken heart together again but his comfort eased her feelings of hopelessness and pain. Jason caught sight of Ella retreating back into the kitchen from the dining room and slowly pulled away from Aria.

"Go get some sleep," he said. "You'll feel a little bit better if you do."

Aria nodded and held onto the door knob, "Thank you, Jason…for everything."

He smiled at her, "You know I'll always be there. Now, go sleep. I'll see you later."

Aria watched him turn and walk down the steps of the porch. She closed the door behind her and quietly climbed the stairs to her bedroom intending to do just what he had suggested.

Jason walked down the driveway to his silver Volvo when he caught sight of another car parked on the curb across the street. The street light made it hard to see, but Jason could make out the faint face of Ezra Fitz watching him in the silver Toyota. A part of him wanted to walk down the street and punch the man for hurting Aria as bad as he had, but Jason stopped himself. Ezra had to watch the woman he supposedly love hurt and be comforted by another person.

Having been in Ezra's position before and forced to watch Aria be just out of grasp, Jason knew it was punishment enough. Forcing himself to get into the car, he started it and backed out of the drive way. He passed Ezra on the road and looked at the man who didn't look up. Jason already pitied the teacher and knew that he wouldn't go after Aria.

Ezra's true colors had been showed tonight and he regretted that Aria had to have her heart broken to see them, but Jason knew from experience that it hurt in the moment but made a person stronger in the long run.

He was living proof of that.

Ezra looked down at his lap when Jason's car passed. He was ashamed that he had left Aria in the rain for hours, but he hadn't had the courage to get out of his car and walk across the street in the rain. He'd been telling himself all night that he'd been doing the right thing and seeing Jason there confirmed it. His relationship with Aria was too complicated and he didn't even know his own emotions very well. They confused him, but one thing Ezra knew for certain. He loved Aria, but loving her could cost him his job, teaching license and force him to go to prison which would end any successful career he wanted.

When Jackie had come into his office earlier she'd been right when she'd said that Aria was a little girl with a fantasy. She had a naïve vision that everything would work out perfectly and no one would get hurt. It wasn't reality and Jackie had shown him that. Aria didn't need him screwing up her reputation and he didn't need her getting him into trouble with the law. He had no doubt that Byron Montgomery would go to the police with everything and ruin his career the moment he could.

It didn't matter that Byron had done the same thing as Aria and it wouldn't stop him. Ezra regretted turning down the job in New Orleans, but it was over now. Aria would be out of his life and they'd both move on and be happy. They'd both be in relationships that could work and be healthy. Inside though, a little voice whispered Ezra's greatest fear. He'd always love Aria, no matter who came along after her. She had been his everything. Hurting her was turning out to be one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do, but it was the right thing to do.

Love shouldn't be hard and cost him every good thing in his life, Ezra had reasoned to himself again and again. Aria wasn't worth every bad thing that would happen to him. He was saving them in the long run and that's all that mattered. Opening his phone, Ezra texted her a message quickly and sent it. He then began systematically deleting the few pictures he had on his phone of her. Scrolling over her number, Ezra paused for a moment before deleting it too.

Taking a deep breath and turning on the car, Ezra pulled away from the curb. He drove away telling himself that this was what he had to do to protect both their futures. He could almost hear his heart whispering 'goodbye' into the night.

Aria finished washing her face clean as her phone beeped. A shower had helped ease the growing ache in her muscles and the call of her bed was becoming harder to resist as she walked across her room to grab the phone on the charger. Turning it over, Aria's heart fluttered seeing Ezra's name, number and face. Quickly opening the message, she cried out as she read it.

This isn't going to work, Aria. The fantasy is over and so are we. Don't contact me anymore. It's better for everyone if we end this now. It was fun while it lasted and that's all it was. Simple fun for both of us. Nothing more, nothing less. It's over.

Dropping the phone on the floor, the back came off and the battery fell out as she collapsed on to the bed. Pain ripped through her heart all over again and if it was possible, her heart broke more.

It was simple fun?

Nothing more?

She understood now what Ella had said about being taken advantage of. That was how she felt. Like Ezra had used her and it hurt more than anything she'd experienced before. She'd loved him and he'd used her as a fantasy that was fun. A part of her wanted to confront Ezra and hear him truly tell her this himself but deep inside something told her that it was truly over now. Nothing she could do would ever fix what had happened between them in the past hours and the text message was the final nail in the coffin of their relationship.

Curling herself up in a ball, Aria grabbed a blanket and wrapped herself up. Exhausted, she closed her eyes and hoped that sleep would give her a reprieve from reality the pain that accompanied it.

She heard her door creak open and heard Byron's voice.

"Aria?"

She didn't care that she was supposed to be mad at him. She just wanted her father. She wanted her father's comfort and love. Sitting up when she felt him sit on the bed, Aria leaned forward and rested her head on his shoulder. His arms wrapped around her and she hugged him back. He didn't say anything, but they both knew she was crying about Ezra Fitz. They could both hear her broken heart being beaten even more than it already had been. His comforting kiss on her head was his way of telling her that he loved her no matter what happened, he'd always be her father and she'd always be his little girl. Aria felt herself slipping from consciousness as she felt her father's soothing hand rub her back and his soft voice saying that he loved her.

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