A/N: So this is my first BTR story in quite a while! My writer's block seems to be pretty persistent and it just won't let me write Big Time Rush. It's driving me freaking mad!

Other than the block, life is keeping me very busy these days with a new job, preparations for an exam in June and some personal family stuff. All of it leaves me very little time for writing, but I promise I'll update Monsters as soon as everything will let me...

Disclaimer: I don't own the cover photo (no copyright infringement intended) and as usual I don't own the boys, I just bring them out to play...

This story is part of Akirealev and Winterschild11's angst challenge... Thanks for the invite guys :)

Have fun reading :D

Logan eyed James warily but didn't say anything. He didn't really approve of the joint being passed around between his friends, but had given up trying to persuade them not to get high. These last few months had been hard on James, and when Kendall had introduced him to the joys of the green herbs he had been all too happy to indulge into the world of numbed feelings and pointless giggles.

Carlos coughed a bit, not as used to the thick smoke in his throat as the other two, and looked at James with red rimmed eyes.

"Man, I'm really sorry James!" he drawled and took a swig of his soda to appease his parched throat.

James shook his head and took another hit of the joint.

"It's okay Carlos, I guess every married couple have their bad moments..."

"It's not okay!" Logan exclaimed rather angrily, "parents shouldn't fight in front of their kids!"

He looked at his feet, perfectly knowing what he was talking about. Images of his mom and dad yelling and screaming in front his nine-year-old self flashed before his eyes. He swallowed hard, still feeling a tiny knot in his stomach when he thought about the divorce that had happened five years ago when he was ten.

"Logan..." Kendall butted in, furrowing his brow at the smaller boy, "lose the anger dude, that's not what James needs right now!"

Logan clenched his jaw and sighed deeply. Maybe Kendall was right, but getting high sure as hell wasn't an awesome way to deal either!

x-x

The ashtray on the table was filled with the ashes and leftovers from three joints, Logan had left 45 minutes earlier and Carlos had been passed out for more than an hour when James finally got off the couch. His legs felt like Jell-O and his head like it weighed 100 pounds. James exhaled before drawing in a deep breath. He looked at his phone and felt a tiny rush of panic run through him. 1.55 a.m. If his parents found out, he would be grounded for a decade!

"See you on Monday, man..." he said in a tired voice and looked at Kendall.

"Yeah, see you..." Kendall answered and nodded his head at James, "sleep tight, man."

x-x

James silently crawled through his second story window and almost fell back out when someone suddenly switched the light on in the pitch black room. James let out a startled yelp and squinted at the bright light.

"And just what do you think you're doing, young man?!"

James felt his heart race in his chest as he looked at one thoroughly pissed off Brooke Diamond!

"M-mom" he managed to get out, "I..I uummm... it's not-"

"I don't need your explanation, James! Crawling through your window at two at night! Your curfew is at 12 and you didn't have permission to leave the house in the first place! You are in so much trouble, mister!"

Brooke advanced on James, making the quivering teen back up against the wall. He swallowed hard, not knowing what to do.

When Brooke was a few feet away from her son she stopped dead in her tracks, scrunching up her nose. James felt immense panic spread through him when he saw his mother sniff the air. Holy fucking shit! This was so bad!

Brooke's eyes were mere slits and James had never seen her this angry. Not even the pee wee hockey party where she had been forced to rent a bounce-house and serve beans and weenies had her panties in such a tight twist!

"MIIIKE!" she yelled, "GET IN HERE!"

Michael Diamond came sprinting from down the hall and entered James' bedroom with a maniacal look in his eyes. When he saw Brooke eyeing their son sternly his sky rocketing pulse caught a break and his heart crawled from his throat back to its proper place! From the pitch in Brooke's voice Michael had been certain some creep was succeeding in murdering James in his sleep, and when he realized that he was merely dealing with a broken curfew he visibly relaxed. For a few seconds anyway!

"Smell him!" Brooke demanded with her arms crossed.

James bit his lip and narrowed his eyes. He was so screwed!

"That's really not neces-" he started in a dazed voice but stopped himself when his dad grabbed the front of his shirt to drag him closer.

The smell of pot was overwhelming and Mike felt the anger spread throughout his body. He would tolerate a lot from James without getting too worked up. Drinking, girls, breaking curfew. But drugs in any form was a definite no go! He had been down that road enough for the both of them, and one of Mike's greatest fears was losing his son to that particular environment.

"JAMES DYLAN DIAMOND!" Mike boomed, making the teen in question flinch, "WHAT THE HELL'S GOTTEN INTO YOU!"

"Umm, well... some weed and coke, I guess..." James drawled before he could stop his still stoned self from uttering those insanely stupid words.

"COKE! YOU DID COKE?" Brooke screamed while Mike changed his grip from the front of James' shirt to his upper arm.

James winced at the hard grip his dad had on him and then realized what he had said.

"No, nonono... that's not what I meant... I..."

"An answer right about now would be a good idea!" Mike roared, giving James a firm shake.

"Coke as in Coca Cola! Freakin' hell!" James spat, angry with his parents for thinking he would actually do coke and angry with himself for being in this situation in the first place.

"Oh, thank God!" Brooke sighed and wrapped her arms around herself.

Mike pulled James firmly with him out of the room. He pushed the bathroom door open and turned on the water in the shower. Before James understood what would happen, his dad planted him under the cold, running water, clothes and all still on him.

The boy shrieked when the icy water hit him and did a clumsy pirouette to escape the shower. When James was out of the water's reach he shook his head, sending droplets of water in every direction.

"What the hell, Dad!" he spluttered and sent his father an indignant look.

"You needed to sober up, buddy!" Mike growled in a low voice, "Now, get out of those wet clothes and put something dry on. And then you'll move your sorry ass to the living room couch, are we clear?"

James wiped a hand across his wet face and merely huffed at his dad's words.

"Are we clear, James?!" Mike yelled, making the teen flinch slightly.

"Yes, sir" James answered quickly, intent on not worsening the situation any further.

x-x

James was sitting on the couch, feet bouncing slightly, as he tried to focus on the pair of angry parents in front of him. Brooke had yelled for ten minutes straight before Mike cut her off and took over with the talk of the danger of doing drugs.

He paced the space in front of the couch, arms crossed and an angry look on his face. When he finally finished his speech Brooke took over again.

"What is wrong with you these days, James?" she asked accusingly, "Cutting class, breaking curfew, and now you're smoking pot as well! I will NOT tolerate such a behavior from you, young man! This is not how you were raised!"

James sighed deeply and crossed his arms. This was such a load of crap, he thought and wished he was lying in his bed, sleeping, and not sitting here getting chewed out by his parents.

Brooke raised a finger and pointed it right at James' face.

"You can lose that attitude right now, James!" she scolded, "You are the one who made all these poor choices, not me, not your father, so I don't appreciate that insolent look on your face!"

"Right" James started, fed up with the telling-off, "It's all my fault! You two are such perfect role models and I'm just a bad kid! You know what Mom, screw you!"

Brooke's eyes widened.

"The both of you!" James added with a seething look at his dad.

Mike's face quickly reddened at his son's words and Brooke opened and closed her mouth repeatedly, like a fish out of water. Neither one was used to James talking to them that way, and his outburst made Brooke's stomach bubble with anger.

"I will not be talked to in that manner by my fifteen-year-old son!"

"Fine!" James sneered, "I'm going to bed!"

"Damn straight, you are!" Mike roared and grabbed James by his shirt.

James squinted and pulled his head back when his father invaded his personal space and growled through gritted teeth:

"You are grounded for the next month, James! And if you so much as throw your mother an insolent glare I'll add to it, got it!"

Mike pulled James from the couch and without further words dragged him all the way to his room. The door slammed behind James and he ran a hand through his still wet locks. This night hadn't exactly ended like planned! Damn it!

James sighed and nosedove onto his bed. He crawled under the duvet and though thoughts whirled through his head it didn't take long for the worn out boy to fall asleep.

x-x

James opened his eyes when he heard his door creak. He rolled over to see his mom enter the room with a tray of food. Well, that's a new one! James thought to himself, but happily accepted the offered glass of juice that Brooke was holding out to him.

He downed half of it in one sip and looked up at his mother.

"James..." she started in a tired, gentle voice, "what's happened to my happy, polite boy these past months?"

James swallowed and bit his lip. Should he actually tell her what was going on!

"Mom, I..."

Brooke sat down on the bed and looked at her son. She caught his eyes, and looked deep into the hazel orbs, currently radiating hurt and reluctance.

"What is it, baby... Please tell me, James!"

The boy in question swallowed again, feeling his throat tighten.

"I'm not trying to be a bad kid, Mom, it's just... I'm so... angry all the time!"

Brooke raised her brows in an asking gesture, but didn't say anything.

"At you. At Dad... you guys used to be happy, having a laugh all the time, going places, throwing parties. Now all you do is fight..."

"Oh, James!" Brooke pulled her son in for a hug and stroked his soft hair, "I'm sorry, baby... Your dad and I are just going through a rough patch. It happens to everybody who have been together for as long as we have!"

"I know, but... could you please not fight in front of me and please stop using me against each other!"

"We don't-" Brooke stopped mid-sentence, realizing that her and Mike actually had been yelling at each other in front of James last afternoon.

She sighed and swallowed her spit, feeling a knot of guilt grow in her stomach.

"No more fighting in front of you, baby, I promise...But James; I still really need to talk to you about what happened last night. Do you understand why we were so upset?"

"Mom..." James whined, not feeling like talking about last night.

"I mean it, James!"

When James still didn't say anything, Brooke decided to break the ice.

"When your father and I had been together for some time he suddenly started hanging out with a bad crowd. They introduced him to drugs and soon he was getting in way over his head! It started with pot as well, but it didn't take long before he took LSD, mushrooms and probably more that he never told me about! He was spiraling out of control and I almost left him... He changed, James. And he scared me! It's not a joke when grown-ups tell you kids that drugs are dangerous, you know!"

"I know that, Mom... you don't have to go there, ok!"

"If you really knew how dangerous it was, then why the hell did you do it? You're not stupid James, albeit maybe quite naïve sometimes!"

James scoffed, not liking that last comment.

"I just wanted to relax for a while, not having to worry about you and Dad..."

Brooke crossed her arms and gave James a stern look.

"And did it work?"

James felt reluctant to answer, but saw the look on his mom's face.

"No..." he drawled then, not happy to admit that exact fact, "it was stupid okay, I know that... I won't do it again, I promise..."

Brooke brushed her hand through James' hair again, then grabbed a handful of brown locks and shook his head lightly.

"That's what I wanted to hear James. I love you, baby"

James smiled at his mom, feeling better than he had for the past months and gently freed his hair from his mother's grasp.

Brooke got off the bed and turned around when she reached the door. She pointed a finger at her son.

"Now you behave and don't break your grounding! Your Dad is still pretty mad about last night, so don't give him a reason to lose it again, okay..."

"I'll be good, Mom. I love you too..."

Brooke opened the door but turned around one last time when she heard James clear his throat.

"What made Dad quit with the drugs?" he asked quietly.

Brooke smiled and tilted her head.

"You did, baby..."

James' mouth fell agape and Brooke laughed lovingly.

"Just when I finally decided I was going to leave Mike I found out I was pregnant with you. It changed everything, James! Mike cut off the group of friends who did drugs and he managed to turn his life around. You gave him a reason to find his way back. You were the reason! And that's why you scared your dad so much last night. I don't think you can do anything that will make him as mad as doing drugs!"

James nodded silently, processing this new knowledge. When he looked up, Brooke had left, and James fell backwards on the bed with a smile on his face. Maybe having this talk with his mom would help his parents through their hard time. When Brooke told about how everything changed when James came along, the look in her eyes had been full of love, and James crossed his fingers that his parents wouldn't end up leaving each other, just like Logan's folks had.

Sadly they would...

Alrighty, so that was the first chapter. There will just be one more...

Please, please leave me a review with your thoughts – feedback makes my day :)

Have a great weekend everybody \m/

- Rikke