Dedicated to my bestest friend in the whole wide world. Thanks for everything.
Takes place the night before Montgomery's funeral.
"Which means Lockwood was after somebody else."
"Who's left?"
"...me."
She opens the door to a face she almost doesn't recognize. Instead of the warm, smiling eyes she's come to love, she finds icy blue ones staring back at her, sending shivers down her spine.
"Can I come in?" he asks, looking down at his feet.
She nods, opens the door wider for him to step inside. When he visited her new apartment for the first time a few months ago, he had taken his time walking through the door, surveying the area to get an insight into her inner workings. But as time went on and his visits became more frequent he got in the habit of simply strolling right on in.
But now?
He barely walks inside, apprehension visible in every step. The sight claws at her stomach, makes her regret treating him the way she has these past few days. But since Montgomery died, things have been so off: 1PP and internal affairs have been beating down on all of them, making them tell and retell their story a hundred times over; new cases have been flooding the precinct, led now by an interim captain who doesn't know what he's doing, causing more officers than usual to visit her for help; not to mention that her father is angry with her for not telling him the whole story. He's always been able to detect when she was lying. All he had to do was give her a look that had her spilling her guts in seconds, but now Kate's accustomed to the look, able to hold out his stare down.
She's been running herself ragged.
Kate shuts the door behind him. When she turns she takes minute steps across the hall to face him. Her jaw opens to speak, but no words come, lips finding a way to glue back together.
"C-can I get you some coffee?" finally snakes its way up her throat. They're not exactly the words she wants to say, but it's a start. Enough to feel him out.
"Sure," he answers, allowing her to take a breath, to steady the nerves wracking her body. His presence has always thrown her off, a simmering of attraction she steadily denies she feels.
Kate travels the short distance to her kitchen, runs the water to fill her pot when Castle continues. "I, uh, I'm here to talk."
She turns, faces him while the sink is running; the water is a hypnotic soundtrack, background noise to the bass of their heartbeats.
"Can it wait?" she sighs, pouring the water into the coffee maker and grabbing the grounds from her overhead cabinet. "I've - there's - the funeral is tomorrow. I'm not really in a talking mood."
She's about to put her captain in the ground, and he wants to talk about them?
She's not ready.
"About the funeral," he continues.
Kate's mouth forms an 'o' and she turns to face him as the water mixes with the coffee grounds, a distant humming in the silence between them.
"More specifically, after the funeral. Next Tuesday?" Castle takes a step toward her, hesitation and determination both making an appearance in his demeanor.
"Tuesday?"
"Yes, your shifts ends around 4. Can I… we go out for a drink after? Maybe dinner?" His hands find his jacket pockets when he takes another step closer in the kitchen.
Kate pushes some hair behind her ear to buy herself some time, but she ends up furrowing her brow anyway, confused because why does he want to go out? She knows they said some things they didn't mean last week, but judging from his lack of fight when she told him they were done, he must not care anymore.
You know that's not true.
"What for?" she asks as she stares him in the eyes, arms folded across her chest. The scent of the coffee wafts up to her nose, spreading throughout her apartment.
"There are a few things... I'd like to say to you."
Their gazes hold for a moment longer. Kate's not sure what to do next, and Castle must be nervous about how she reacts. She just turns her back, takes a breath before reaching in another cabinet to grab two mugs. Castle uses the same mug every time he comes over. They'd done the dishes together the last time they'd had coffee here. She washed and he dried, but without thinking he put it on the top shelf, way out of her reach. Kate stands on her tiptoes, trying to reach the dark green handle sticking out, but her fingers can't even graze the handle.
She feels his presence before she sees his hand.
She stops breathing.
The heat of his body soaks into her back as he presses against her. It would be so easy to lean back against him, take his hand and wrap it around herself. Bury her face in his neck. Let him hold her while she mourns the loss of a friend. But she can't, she doesn't.
He grabs them both a mug, sets them gently on the counter.
"Thank you," she says softly, turning her head to the side to see him.
"You're welcome," he whispers in her ear.
He lingers there longer than he has to, his breath tickling the exposed skin of her neck, caressing her cheek, but eventually he steps away, allows her to take a breath.
Kate sucks in some air, eyes closing for a short moment, before she's reaching for the freshly brewed coffee in the pot.
"Would that be okay?"
What?
Would what be okay? She forgot what they were talking about.
"Hmm?"
"If I took you out...to talk."
Oh, right.
There are things he needs to say.
She sighs, watches the black liquid turn brown when she adds cream and sugar. "Castle, why can't you just say whatever you need to say now?" She turns to face him with both mugs in each hand.
She hands the mug to him as she walks past to sit on the couch. Kate's poised to sit when Castle sets his mug down on the counter with a little too much force, no doubt chipping the bottom.
"Castle!" she shouts standing up straight again. But when she goes to step forward, her own mug slips from her fingers and shatters on the floor.
At first he thought he was seeing things.
But the aim of a red dot is hard to miss.
He shouts her name as he slams the mug down on the counter. A small piece of green chips off the bottom, flies across the counter when he sits it down.
He doesn't care about the mug though.
Because Kate Beckett is bleeding out in front of him.
Red blooms against Kate's white sweater as Castle springs into action. He's racing across the kitchen to catch her before she falls.
Everything dies into slow motion then. The horror on her face multiplies. The thump of his heart slows to a single repetitive beat. Boom...boom...boom.
It's deafening.
"Kate!"
Her face gets smushed against his chest as she falls against him. His legs give out once his hands land on her back. The fall to his knees is imminent and he can only worry about what the impact will do to Kate. She saw him running for her, reached out her hands for his, and they're clutching the bottom of his jacket.
"Castle," she speaks before she's moaning in agony, the sound of her breathing grows in pitch. It echoes off the walls.
"Shh, Kate. Don't talk." He pushes her hair back from her face as he turns to survey the room. No one else is here.
A glint from the window catches his eye, but the nighttime sky makes it hard to see anyone.
"G-g-get... d-d-down," she stutters, breath heavy.
"What?"
"R-ed d-dot."
Kate takes the sides of his coat and pulls him into her, trying to knock them down. "What're you doing? No, you should lay down. I need to apply pressure to stop the bleeding."
She pulls hard enough to knock them back on the floor with his weight falling on top of her.
"Oh, God, Kate, I'm so sorry." Castle tries to scramble off her body, terrified he's made the bullet wound worse, causing her even more pain, but Kate tugs him back down, weakly wraps her arm around his neck.
"I-I-I-I…"
"Shhh, stop talking. Don't use up your energy. Just keep your eyes open. Keep'em open for me, Kate."
"-can't breathe. H-hurts."
"It hurts to breathe?" She nods, tongue poking out to wet her lips. Tears well up in Castle's eyes, lip quivering. "You are not gonna die. You hear me? Don't die. There's still so much-" He breaks off, glances away from her penetrating gaze. "It can't end this way," he whispers.
He tries again to get his weight off her body, but Kate flexes her muscles, pulls him down with what little strength she has left.
Her eyes go wider, gets his attention, and she gestures with both her head and eyes to the side of the coffee table.
And there, directly above his head, is the sniper's red dot aiming right for them.
"Kate," he murmurs, the hope draining from his voice. They're lying in the small space between the couch and coffee table. There's no room for him to roll under the table. And Kate's in too much pain to scoot out from under him. If he lifts his head even an inch, he'll die.
He tries to think of what he can do. One of his arms is pinned under Kate's back, just the tips of his fingers out by her shoulder.
"Yo-your-"
"No, shh, don't talk."
She puts her fingers over his mouth. He can feel them beginning to lose their warmth. "Your ph-phone?"
"It's in my front pocket." He tries to reach it, but he'll have to lift up to get to it because his right leg is shoved between Kate's. "I can't get it," he panics, head shaking furiously. "I can't get it, Kate!"
She presses her hand to his lips again. "Mine."
"Where is it?" he asks, lips kissing her fingers.
Kate groans when she sucks in a breath, eyes watering. "Ba-a-ck poc-pock...et."
He wastes no time in digging his hand underneath her, hand gliding over the curve of her ass, until he unearths the device. His elbow sticks out when he's removing the phone and the sniper takes his shot; the bullet grazes his arm.
Even though it hurts, he still uses the arm to put the phone in his other palm before quickly laying it flat against his side to avoid another shot.
The tips of the fingers crushed under Kate's back are getting numb. He can barely move them.
Needing to improvise, he hits the emergency call button with his nose, then the speaker button. Being so low to the floor, he can only see the screen if he turns it to the side; Kate's shoulder is stopping him from being able to lift his arm any higher.
Kate's stomach starts to jump underneath him and he flicks his gaze up to her while he talks to the female operator.
Officer Down
GSW to the stomach
Sniper still in the area
We are not safe
When he lets his eyes find Kate's, she's grimacing from trying not to laugh.
"What's funny?" Castle finds himself getting upset. "Why are you laughing?"
"Nose," she rasps. "Yo-you u-u-sed your n-o-se."
And saying it again sets her off in another fit of laughter, which causes her to cry out from pain, tears welling up again, but not falling. Never falling.
"We can laugh about it when you're in the hospital. The ambulance is on the way. What's the passcode to your phone?"
She lets out another breath; he can feel her release it when her stomach deflates. "Birtttthhhdaay." Her voice is barely there, just air exhaling at different intonations.
Using his nose again, he taps out 1117. It buzzes with "wrong passcode."
He tries 1179 for month and year, but no luck.
"Kate, that's wrong. It's not workin-" She boops his nose, gives him a smile, her lips pale and dry. "It's my birthday?" She nods.
He doesn't let himself get caught up on these beautiful details: Kate Beckett - Katherine Beckett booping his nose, him being the passcode to her phone. He can't dwell on these facts or else he'll lose his calm.
He calls Esposito and Ryan and they say they'll be there in less than ten minutes. Help is on the way.
"Kate, I know it hurts, but you need to stay with me, okay? Help is coming." She nods again, whimpers when she goes to inhale.
"It hurts when you breathe in?" he asks and she gives him another nod, eyes drooping shut. "Okay, we're gonna try something. Just shake your head if it doesn't work." She nods her understanding.
The reality of their situation is beginning to settle in. Castle can feel the panic rising, like bile, up his spine, through his stomach, to his throat. But he has to push it all down. Looking at her laying here - dying - still managing to fight gives him the strength to put everything he feels to the back burner, because whatever he feels is nothing compared to her.
"Okay, Kate. I know it hurts, but you have to breathe. You understand?" He softens his voice, but keeps their eyes locked together. "We'll do it like we do anything. Together. Ready? I breathe out, you breathe in."
Her tongue wets her lips again as she nods, holding back tears. It's okay to cry, Kate.
He sucks in a breath as deep as he can, hovers over her mouth before releasing it slowly, letting it fan across her lips, her cheeks, her forehead. Does it again.
She grimaces when she inhales, but he forces her to keep her eyes open and on him. "Look at me," he whispers. "Just keep looking at me."
It's like he's breathing into her; her mouth is open when he releases his breath, and she sucks it in, as if they're joining their souls.
They do it again together.
And again.
And again.
Again.
He can see the seconds hand on his watch ticking by.
One second.
He breathes out.
Two seconds.
She breathes in.
Three seconds.
She breathes his soul into her into her lungs, desperate to stay alive.
One second.
She breathes out.
Two seconds.
He breathes in.
Three seconds.
He breathes his love into her lungs, praying to whatever God there may be that she'll make it. She has to make it.
There's still so much he has to say. This is not the end of the book.
One second.
He breathes out.
Two seconds.
She breathes in.
Three seconds.
He exhales, trying to transfer all his strength into her lungs, praying urgently for her to choose to fight, to live.
He repeats this ritual. Breathing with her stops her from passing out from lack of oxygen but... it's not enough. She's still bleeding out, despite the pressure his weight puts on the wound.
Four treacherous minutes have passed. She's still alive, but if help doesn't get here soon, she won't last much longer.
"Kate." He's sobbing now, despite trying to stay strong for her. Because if this is it, if these are her final moments, then she needs to know, she has to know. "I need to tell you something. And don't respond. Save your energy." Kate's eyes find his, her hand coming back to touch his face.
He releases another gentle breath over her mouth, the hand on his cheek so cold it's numbing him.
"Kate," he whispers, tears falling onto her cheeks. "I love you, Kate. Please don't leave me. I love you."
The hand on his cheek wraps around his neck again, and she pulls him down to her lips. He thinks she's trying to speak, but their lips connect and she moves her mouth under his, kissing him.
"I lo-o-ve-"
"Shh. Don't."
"-you too," she continues, the tears in her eyes finally falling down the sides of her cheeks. "I'm fu-fu-fucking in love wi-i-th you," she exhales. And Castle gives a light chuckle, kissing her lips again.
"Please don't give up." He gestures for her to get some more air, but she just tries to kiss him instead. "No, Kate. You need to breathe."
He presses his mouth back to hers, closes his eyes and this time their lashes twine, but Kate turns her head to the side to dislodge their mouths.
She lets the tips of her fingers rest on his lips again and he kisses each digit he can.
"Thank you," she mouths, voice too weak to produce sound. "Thank you so much."
I love you, her lips move.
"Kate! Kate, stay with me! Stay with me, Kate, please!" he yells. "Please don't leave me," he sobs, foreheads pressed together, face wet with both of their tears. "Please."
He feels her muscles go limp under him, like she's giving up.
And in this tender moment, it's only the two of them. He can see nothing but the lights fading from her eyes, feel nothing but the chill of her skin, hear nothing but the shallow breaths she manages on her own. He breathes his love for her one last time, and she achieves the faintest of smiles when she inhales with him.
Kate's eyes are on his for a minute, just a minute before they roll in the back of her head, her jaw flying open, body breaking out in spasms underneath him, convulsing.
She's having a seizure.
Fuck it.
Castle sits up - sniper be damned - and pushes the coffee table over, breaking the glass, to give him room to turn Kate on her side. He tilts her head, keeps her mouth open so she won't suffocate.
Oh, God, Kate.
"Castle!"
The sound of his name makes him jump, and he turns to find Esposito and Ryan charging through the door, paramedics right behind them.
"Help her!" he screams. "Help her!"
The paramedics push him aside to check Kate's vitals.
"She's alive, but barely breathing. Let's get her on the gurney. Now!" the woman says, wrapping her stethoscope around her neck then stabilizing Kate's head as they slide her onto the gurney.
"What about the sniper?" Castle asks, his heartbeat pounding.
"I don't know," Ryan answers. "Espo has a team across the street right now. But there's a good chance he heard or saw the sirens and got out of there."
Castle nods. He knows all he needs to for now. "She started deteriorating so fast," he explains to the female paramedic. "I was laying on top of her. Could that have made her wor-"
"No. Your weight stopped her from bleeding out." She takes a second to place her hand on his shoulder. "You saved her life."
Hearing this brings a slight smile to his face, but his heart won't smile until the bullet is out and the bleeding has stopped.
He follows the paramedics out of the building and into the ambulance.
The rest is a blur.
The ride.
Stitches.
Alexis and his mother.
Jim.
Changing clothes.
Josh.
The transplant.
Castle thinks he blacks out for most of it.
Because he doesn't remember getting here.
The first thing she sees when she opens her eyes are the beautiful blue ones of the man who saved her life.
She sighs. I'm so in love with you.
"You're awake?" he whispers, the awe so shocking in his voice. I lived for you.
She can't talk.
She tries to speak, but her throat is clogged. Oh no. She can't breathe again, she can't breathe.
"Stay calm," his warm voice says. "You have a tube in your mouth. You're in the hospital."
Oh. All right.
Well, she wants it out.
She can breathe without it.
Castle takes her hand in his; his palm drowns hers. If she could smile, she would. He kisses it. A peck on each knuckle.
Then he stands from the wheelchair he's sitting on to hit a button above her head. Probably calling for a nurse.
"I'm so happy you're alive, Kate. That you're finally awake."
Kate squeezes his fingers as hard as she can, lets him know she feels the same.
She's so happy to see these eyes again.
The ones who saved her.
The biggest thank you to Maddy and Amy for going over this multiple times for me. You both rock! And thank you Valen for trusting me with all 47 of your prompts ;)