A/N: Hey, guys! I guess I've finally gotten my writing mood back. I can't promise anything, but I'll just keep going until I run out of steam. This was inspired by the fact that I always tend to associate songs with certain people, and I've picked up way too many songs for my current relationship. This is one of them, and I thought it fit well into Dan and Phil's relationship. Yesterday I was re-reading some of my old Phan stories, and I just had to laugh because it was scarily similar to the relationship I have now. My life is complete: I am Phan. Gods, I need to get some productive hobbies. Also, the song is called A Charmed Life by Joy Williams, if anyone has the urge to look it up.
Warnings: None, except for my usual maple-syrupy sappiness. Maybe I should invest in my own syrup company.
OoO
Dan used to have a favorite song when he was younger, one that he listened to on repeat and came on the radio every once in a while. He would sing aloud constantly, and when he was around people he opted to hum along instead. He didn't care if he got stares; this was his song, and he could enjoy it as much as he damn well wanted to. The song itself was beautiful, a haunting but upbeat melody playing on his headphones and a raspy female vocalist soothing his mind as she whispered sweet nothings into his ears. He never tired of it; his heart mirrored the beat and his chest swelled with emotion each and every time he listened to it. That was his song, and that was his savior through many rough patches over the years where parents were mean and kids were even meaner. All encapsulated in three minutes of a life-pausing moment.
He wished he could remember the melody now. He wished he remembered the lyrics. As with time, the memories faded until they were just a shadow of themselves. The tune peeked around the corners of his mind every so often, but he couldn't piece the faint strands of music together. He would try to hum a few notes to jog his memory (chorus, refrain, anything), but the sound became stuck in his throat and died off as he tried to recall what came next.
When Phil came into Dan's life, the song came back, too. Phil didn't know it, but he had overwritten the tune's purpose and now had acquired a fully formed theme song. Every time the ebony-haired boy walked into the room, Dan would have to smile when Phil wasn't looking, because that song played up in his head and left him feeling contented and peaceful and safe. He made sure to hide his face so that Phil wouldn't know; it was a secret that Dan fancied keeping to himself because it was something only for him and not Phil, something that he got to hold onto all by himself.
Dan couldn't help it, sometimes he hummed along to the imaginary lyrics when Phil was around, and the older boy would ask about it as a result. Dan figured it was because while they shared everything, music never really came up and Phil was always the curious cat when it came to new things. Dan would always grin in response and make up a different excuse every time, which turned into a game for them. He knew it was only a matter of time before he had to answer, but he enjoyed playing mouse to Phil's (adorably) puzzled cat.
"So what are you singing?" Phil asked (for the third time this week) as they were sitting on the sofa, Dan's head on his shoulder and arm draped lazily across his stomach.
"If I told you, the universe would cease to function and all life would be extinguished," Dan explained, shooting Phil a small grin before turning back to the telly.
"No, I really mean it this time," Phil murmured, the sound soft but clearly meant to be audible. He sounded put out, and Dan didn't need to turn to him to know that a frown sat upon his face.
"It's nothing. Really," Dan assured, shifting slightly in his seat as he nervously took in the new direction in their game. Usually Phil would stop at just one question, apparently either amused at Dan's creative excuse or deciding not to push it. He never asked more than once, and really only every once in a while. This was new, and new was always a bit frightening to the brunette.
"No, I want to know," Phil said seriously, and Dan looked up at him due to the tone in his voice. The ebony-haired boy was gazing down at him with an unreadable look and a slight frown on his face. "You're always humming it, and I can hear you in the shower you know. I asked our friends about it, and apparently you never do it in front of them. So it's only me. Why?"
Dan bit his lip. This could go one of two ways: Either he not-so-subtly shifted the topic to something else entirely and risked Phil's anger (or even worse, his disappointment), or he told the truth and risked his own personal embarrassment and mortifying conversation path. Well, Phil did always ask about it, and Dan knew he would have to tell eventually; being a tease was fine and all, but even the most patient feline got tired of doing the chasing. So he opted for the latter. "A charmed life."
"What?" Phil asked, blinking owlishly at Dan.
Dan rolled his eyes. "The song. It's called A Charmed Life."
"Oh," Phil said smartly. Dan couldn't help but chuckle at his boyfriend's constant cluelessness. "What's it about, then?"
Dan paused in his thoughts as he tried to think of the perfect summary that would do the song justice. "It's basically about two people who are living in their own little world, a life that they believe is beautiful despite the ups and downs of their situations. They've created their own universe in a way, disconnected from other people that live lonely or boring lives. It's been my favorite song since before I can remember; helped me get through a lot of tough times as a kid."
"That's beautiful, Dan," Phil said softly, smiling warmly. Dan's anxiety lessened at the affectionate gaze, and he automatically mirrored the look.
"So now you know," Dan said simply, shrugging his shoulders lightly before turning back to the show and hoping that would end the conversation. Minutes passed, and Dan started to relax with each count, snuggling into Phil's chest to seek out the comforting warmth that he always found there. Maybe that's it, Dan dared to hope as the minutes ticked by.
"So why do you only sing it around me?" Apparently not.
"Um," Dan stalled, a steady blush rising on his cheeks as he tried to think of a good way to phrase his feelings. "Because it reminds me of us, I guess. Always going in the path of our choosing, disregarding norms and people and everything but our own little slice of the universe. When it's just the two of us, no matter where we are, it's like I can just shrug off the outside world and everything just kind of falls away except for you and me and the moment. I can't help it; the song just starts playing in my head every time you're around and it just kind of bursts through my brain and comes out of my lips."
Phil regarded him for second, eyes unreadable as Dan nervously chewed at his bottom lip. Then the ebony-haired boy smiled brilliantly, and Dan instantly felt right in the universe again. "That's so sweet, Dan. You have no idea how happy that makes me, hearing that. I can't believe you never told me."
"Well, I was embarrassed," Dan admitted sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders in an attempt to act casual. "And besides, it was kinda fun keeping you out of the loop."
"Well, next time try to keep me in the loop," Phil chided playfully, bopping Dan lightly on the nose with his finger. "Especially if it involves me; I need the ego boost."
Dan laughed, swatting Phil's hand away. "You get enough of them already. Don't want your head to swell up like a balloon. Then you'd pop, and I'd have to get a new carpet. Do you know how expensive those are?"
"Well, take it out of your inheritance," Phil quipped, a goofy smile sitting on his face.
"You have a will?" Dan asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, no," Phil admitted, "but if I did, I'd include a carpet clause, just so you could fill my head with beautiful things like what you just said."
"Goofball," Dan chuckled affectionately, dipping his head to hide his blush as he nudged his shoulder playfully into Phil's chest. "You don't need a song to tell you that I think you're brilliant."
"Yeah, but it certainly doesn't hurt," Phil grinned, pushing his shoulders back against Dan's in an open declaration of war.
Dan mirrored the grin and chuckled darkly. "You will so regret that."
They soon found themselves in a tangled mess of limbs and laughter and childish insults, and as they lay there afterwards catching their breaths, Dan couldn't help but think to himself how lucky he was. They did lead a charmed life; it was so special that Dan sometimes wondered when he was going to wake up. Yes, they had their ups and downs, but it was Dan and Phil against the world, and he couldn't be happier to have a willing partner to face anything life threw at them. The melody of their song drifted into Dan's mind, and this time, he made sure Phil heard it loud and clear.