Soooo this idea came to me earlier today, so I'm writing it down and posting it up. If I get some reviews, I'll post more. (:
~x~
15 years. It had been 15 years since I'd last seen him. 15 years since I'd kissed his smooth, marble lips. 15 years since I'd held his cool, hard hand. 15 years since I'd been in his welcoming, stone arms.
15 years since my entire life had been taken from me.
At times, it would feel like time had stopped altogether; other times, it felt like someone had hit fast forward. The years passed like an uneven heartbeat.
It had become easier to fake happiness. I'd gotten married, had two children, watched my daughter turn 13, and my son turn 9... I'd even gone to the University of Arizona and received a degree in science.
But Arizona had only been my home until I was finished school. I'd then moved back to Forks, and married my best friend, Jacob Black.
Jacob knew I was still damaged; he knew that I often faked smiles, and that I was never truly happy. But he had convinced himself over the years that he'd healed most of my wounds, and that soon I would be back to the way I used to be. I didn't let his hopes down, though I knew he hadn't even successfully healed one of my wounds. I was still as broken as I'd been after... he'd left.
I was now 33, and to my surprise, age hadn't really done much to me. I still looked the same as I had when I was 18; I just had a few little lines at the corners of my mouth. Not a big deal.
Age didn't matter to me anymore. Nothing mattered when Earth had stopped spinning.
Well... except for my family.
My daughter Alice had just turned 13 last month. She was bright, bubbly, and exactly like the person she had been named after. She adored shopping, and she was very popular at her school in La Push.
Billy was my son. Named after Jacob's father, who had passed away a year after we'd gotten married, Billy was very shy, and was often teased at school. He was smart and sweet, a very handsome little boy.
They both looked nothing like me. They looked like they had no Swan whatsoever; it was all Black. They both carried Jacob's features, and Alice looked a lot like Jacob's twin sisters. Even Jacob had reluctantly agreed that they didn't look like me. Dark skin, black hair, and dark brown eyes (no where near the color of my milk chocolate ones).
We lived on the reservation; Jacob had built a house for us, and it was right beside Sam and Emily's house. That was convenient, because Jacob was often called there through the telepathy the wolves shared.
I'd gotten used to Jacob being a wolf; I no longer gasped whenever he phased, and it no longer worried me when Billy would shake when he got angry. I didn't want Billy to become a werewolf, but it was happening; I could no longer deny it. It looked like he was going to turn into one much earlier than everyone else.
After 5 years, the wolves had finally hunted down, and killed Victoria. I was no longer in any danger.
I no longer put myself in danger to hear his voice. It had disappeared, and I had forgotten the exact shape of his eyes... how tall he was... how long his fingers were...
He had promised me it would be like he never existed. It seemed like his promise was beginning to come true.
~x~
15 years. It had been 15 years since I'd last seen her. 15 years since I'd kissed her warm, soft lips. 15 years since I'd held her heated, silky hand. 15 years since she'd been in my hard, uncomfortable arms.
15 years since I had let her go.
Time no longer passed quickly for me. It passed as if everything was in slow motion. I could hardly bear it.
I'd moved back in with my family. We were now all living in Denali with Tanya and the others; they welcomed us with open arms. Tanya welcomed me a little too much; she seemed to think that since she was out of my life, then I was hers for the taking. How wrong she was.
My heart was never going to belong to anyone else. In truth, it still belonged to her. She still had it with her wherever she was right now. Most likely, she'd forgotten all about me, and was happier than she'd ever been. For that, I was glad; but I ached.
There was no need for me to fake happiness or smiles; everyone knew that I was broken beyond repair. They didn't dare ask me to "cheer up" or "try to smile". Rosalie still said it occasionally to bug me, but I ignored her.
Alice still hadn't checked in on her, to see whether she had achieved a happy life yet. I was instructing her to never ever look into her future again, because I wasn't sure I could bear it if I found that she was so happy, she'd completely forgotten about me. That had been my point of leaving, of course, but I didn't want to observe how better off she was without me.
But the other day I had seen a girl on TV with eyes the color of milk chocolate; the exact same color that hers were. Just seeing it had made me want to run out the door and back to Forks. Alice had tried to urge me to do it, almost pushing me out the door in anxiety. I'd ran upstairs and hadn't been downstairs since.
But the though of going back kept replaying in my head. I might not be able to be with her again if she was with someone else, but I could be her friend.
Friend. The word made me want to gag.
But would it be worth it? Going back just so I could be her friend?
Yes. Just to see those beautiful eyes again; to hear that wonderful voice; to feel that soft, warm skin.
I stood up, decided.
I was going back.
~x~
Review, and if I get some good reviews, I'll post more. (: