A/N: hooray for my first Supernatural fic! Just a one shot , really. Apparently, I am super experimental with my writing nowadays. Maybe that's why I'm only writing one shots (and haven't updated Chasing Ghosts - oops!). Maybe it's all the RPing I've been doing! And the drawing. It's bringing out my creative side! Unlike my last one shot - the Fade (Klaine, all dialogue), this one has none. So, I'm sorry there will be a lack of witty banter. Writing as a baby was super fun, though! I hope I did it well enough. It's pretty much just the life of... well, actually, I'll let you read it yourself.
Ah, also! My wonderful sister, Sarah (thestairwell) gave me the name Jeff. She is super awesome at writing and being awesome, and you should look at her stuff. It's Klaine, by the way. Just to tell you in case you go and waste time doing that because you don't watch Glee or anything
Okay, so I haven't managed to fix it so that there is a small '***' or something whenever there's a time jump, so I've alternated italics and normal, so it should be at least a little easier to differentiate between time jumps, and it's not all just thrown together. Hopefully, I'll be able to fix it soon. Either it's messing up, or it's somehow connected to this laptop I'm using. I'll try fixing it, but if it won't fix when I can get to my own laptop, then I'll leave it as alternating italics. I'm sorry! :(. -Jinx
At first he didn't know his name. Well, at first he didn't know what a name was, or what a he was, or that he even was a he. All he knew were colors and shapes and blurs, and a funny feeling in his tummy that he didn't like. Normally when he had that feeling, he opened his mouth and cried, and then a big blur would pick him up and make soft noises at him and pull him close and the funny feeling in his tummy would go away and the big, bright blur would make those soft noises again, which he liked, and something would tickle his face and he'd fall asleep like that.
Sometimes there were other big blurs and shapes. There was another one that was here almost as much as the one that made soft noises, only this one was darker and the sounds it made were lower and made him want to sleep. Almost as much as the other two blurs, there were two more. It was quite overwhelming when all he wanted was the funny feeling in his tummy gone, but the other two blurs made low noises, too, only less soft, and one of them was always the same color. He liked that one.
Then one day the other two blurs (only now they were less blurry when they were close and he could tell their noises apart) were the only ones there, and then there was a high noise and the one that held him wrong was talking and no one was answering, and then the colorful blur with the soft noises and the other one with the low noises never came back.
He still got the funny feeling in his belly and the wet one in his bottom taken care of though, so he didn't mind.
For a while everything was strange. The one that held him wrong and the one that was always the same color took him on a really bumpy, really sleepy trip. He dozed mostly, and when he woke up he was close to the one that was always the same color and he had that funny feeling in his tummy again, so he started looking for whatever made it go away when he was close to a blur. But it wasn't there, so he started crying, and so the blur started bouncing him, but that just made him cry harder.
It was a long time before the one that held him wrong came back and the one that was always the same color gave him to a giant one and the funny feeling was being fixed, and then the one that was always the same color changed color. Then the one that held him wrong and the other one (that used to always be the same color) were very close and the feeling in his tummy was gone and the giant bounced him and rubbed his back and then took care of the wet feeling in his bottom. Then he was given to the one that held him wrong, and the one that held him wrong held him right, and he fell asleep as the blurs made low noises at each other and looked at him a lot.
He knew his name now. He knew his name was Jeff, and he knew that the blurs had names, too. And he knew that their noises were words, and Jeff understood some of them. He was proud of that. The one that used to hold him wrong was Dean. The one that was always the same color was Castiel, but whenever Jeff tried to say his name it came out 'Cas-dell', so Jeff just called him 'Cas'. 'Cas-dell' still got the point across, though.
Overall, Jeff liked Dean and Cas. He couldn't remember much from before now, or before last month, but Dean never made him eat the rubbery green things on his plate and Cas let him paint a lot and read him stories, and Cas and Dean also hugged and kissed a lot. Jeff knew that hugging and kissing meant they loved each other, so he liked that they did that.
Sometimes they didn't hug and kiss, though. Sometimes they shouted at each other, and Jeff knew that that was bad, because they only shouted at him when he was naughty. When they shouted, Dean normally left and Cas would hug Jeff and when Dean would come back a long time later, he'd have this sharp smell and lots of 'sorry's and kisses to give to Cas.
They had a shouting match one day before a lot of people came over, and Cas left that time, and Dean was grumpy when the giant one - Sam - came over, and when Sam couldn't make Dean smile and Cas still wasn't back, Jeff picked up one of the tapes with lots of dark pictures and writing on it and gave it to Dean and said it would make music to make him smile again, because he knew Dean liked that tape. It made Dean happier, which made Jeff happier, too. Especially when Cas came back while Jeff was blowing out two candles on a cake while the man that looked after him and let him wear his hat when Dean and Cas weren't here (Bobby) took a picture, and Cas held Dean's hand. After the candles, everyone had cake and laughed a lot, and then Dean and Cas and Bobby and Jeff and everyone met someone called Sarah, and Sam had his arm around her. Jeff thought Sam looked happy, and everyone else looked happy because Sam did, and so Jeff decided to be happy, too.
Jeff could say 'Castiel' properly now, but he still called him 'Cas' because that's what Dean called him, too. Everyone called Castiel 'Cas', but Jeff liked it better when Dean picked him up from school because Dean had a cool car, and Cas always walked and it took a long time, no matter how many sticks Jeff used as swords or how many yellow cars he counted (it was never more than ten). Dean didn't like other people driving his car, but he was teaching Jeff about what was inside it, and Jeff always had to be very careful when he rode in it and not spill his food and drink and never leave his toys in the back.
Jeff liked it when Becky came over, too. Normally she was really annoying (she was a girl, after all), but she hung out with Chuck a lot, and even though Chuck was really weird, he was cool. Plus, Becky liked playing Aliens and Indians, so Dean and Cas let her come over sometimes. She was never allowed over when Sam was there, though, because she always jumped on him and tried to kiss him (even if Sarah was there!), and she cried when she had to go home. But however weird and gross that was, she had good aim with a ray gun and could hit really hard with her sword, so Jeff could ignore the fact she wanted to kiss Sam because whenever Chuck came over he only ever wanted to draw or practice his writing.
Jeff also met one of Cas' brothers. On his last birthday (he was now a whole six years old!) a man with small eyes called Gabriel (Jeff called him 'Gabe' and everyone laughed) had come over. He had the same sharp smell Dean had some nights after he and Cas had fought, and Gabe swung Jeff up in the air and gave him a chocolate bar and winked at him. Jeff hadn't known Cas had a brother, but apparently he had lots and just didn't get on with many of them. Jeff thought that having a brother sounded like fun, but when he asked Dean if he could have one Dean said no, and explained that to have a brother he'd need a mommy and a daddy, and Jeff had two daddies. Jeff had wanted to hear more, but then Sam had come in and told Dean off, and Dean had looked confused and said something about 'the birds and the bees', which Jeff didn't understand, but then Sam laughed for a long time and Dean got annoyed and Cas looked confused and when Dean gave him a sort of look, his mouth went into a little 'o' shape and he went a little pink, and then everyone laughed at him. Even though he didn't understand why, Jeff laughed, too.
Jeff wondered why he had two daddies and no mommy, because Becky had a one of each and so did Chuck, but Jeff thought maybe it was because he was super special, and he didn't mind, because it meant he had more nice food like burgers and got to spend more time riding on their shoulders and things, so he didn't really care.
Sarah and Sam had a baby, though. Jeff couldn't remember their wedding, but Sam told Jeff the baby was his cousin, and they let Jeff hold her. They called her Lisa, after someone they used to know who died, and Dean made a joke Jeff and Cas didn't understand, and then Sam let everyone hold Lisa and everyone smiled a lot, and Sarah put Lisa on her boob - which was gross - and everyone made soft cooing noises at her.
That night Cas and Dean had a fight, and Dean left again. Jeff stayed up late - late enough that he heard Dean come home and then both of them come up a while later. They talked a lot, and then Jeff could hear the bed creaking like it did when he jumped on it, so he thought they'd made up, because who would jump on the bed with someone they were mad at? And jumping on the bed was fun, so they must have decided not to shout anymore. Jeff didn't mind how they made up though, he was just happy they were happy.
Jeff wasn't really home a lot of the time. He was more preoccupied with the life of a teenager now, and was always stealing the second car (because Dean would kill him if he nicked the Impala) to sneak out and meet his friends, even if he didn't have a proper license yet. He knew Dean and Cas already knew, but they turned a blind eye. They knew Jeff was safe when he was out, and Dean was fine with him stealing the cheaper booze to take with him, as long as he didn't drive over the alcohol limit, was careful, and left his baby alone.
When he was home on weekends and after school (he wasn't allowed out on school nights), Dean taught him the ins-and-outs of mechanics, how to make the best burgers on a grill, and all about his tapes and long-forgotten rock bands whose music was loud and invigorating. Cas helped Jeff with homework (Cas being the reason Jeff wasn't failing), and Jeff tried to get Cas to at least wear a pair of jeans. The man refused, always sticking to his suit and trench coat.
Generally, the family ate fast food. Even after near seventeen years, neither Dean nor Cas had learned how to cook properly. The only real meals they had were when they went to see Sam, Sarah and Lisa (who stared at Jeff in quiet wonder and hung onto every word he said, and gripped his neck too tightly when he gave her piggy back rides).
All in all, life was good. In a year, Jeff was going on a road trip with Becky and Chuck, and still got on Dean's case about letting him borrow the Impala. Dean stuck to the answer he always gave - 'no one's touching my baby but me, and sometimes Cas' - but maybe enough burgers and compliments would sway him. There was still a year to go - plenty of time to loosen the old guy's mind.
Jeff vaguely remembered when he was younger, how Dean and Cas kissed and held each other a lot. He was glad they kept their affection to theirselves most of the time - because, come on, what kid wants to see their parents suck face? - but sometimes when he came in late on a weekend, he'd see them sprawled on the couch. Sometimes, they'd both be sleeping, curled around each other. Others, they'd be watching TV, or have the TV on in the background to some war or car or religious show while they talked. Occasionally, Cas would be asleep on Dean's shoulder, and Dean would nod a greeting at Jeff as he tip-toed back up to his room. Even more occasionally, Dean would be sleeping on Cas, head in his husband's lap. Cas would always raise a finger to his lips, and Jeff would take extra care to be quiet going up to his room. Dean had nightmares, so any sleep was good sleep.
After having his own child, Jeff appreciated Cas and Dean much more. They were always willing to babysit for he and his wife, Jo. Happy to help were words Jeff heard a lot after Robert (named for Bobby, who glowed with pride when they told him) was born. Of course, having a newborn was tough on them, but just like Dean and Cas had had Sam, Jeff and Jo had all three of them, plus Sarah. Still, it was stressful, and Jeff and Jo found themselves staying at Dean and Cas' a lot, if just for the extra help or the few hours of sleep they'd get when the older men had Robert.
His dads still spent a lot of time together in the evening, lost in each others' arms as the TV flickered over their faces and linked hands. Jeff still saw them, and wondered how they could still be so involved with each others' lives, so passionate after so long together. Jeff felt strangely like a teenager again when he passed one night, and Cas raised a finger to his lips and Dean snored softly, the stairs creaking softly beneath his feet.
Hours later, Jeff would wake up to murmured voices and soft footsteps, a small chuckle from Dean as he and Cas made their way into their room. The whine of bed springs as they settled in each others' arms, twisted together as Jeff imagined, in a soft embrace. It was always as he drifted back to sleep, his own wife in his arms, to the sound of a low, rare laugh from Cas that he smiled. Dean and Cas still fought, of course, but Dean was one of the few people who could make Cas laugh like that, and Cas was the only one who could soothe Dean's nightmares, as Jeff had heard him do many times in the past. Thinking these thoughts, Jeff always slept well.
All in all, life was good.
A/N: This A/N is almost purely for explaining anything I might have missed in the actual story, or anything that might not have been clear. Just saying, you don't have to read it if you don't want! So
there it is! It took, like... well, I wrote it over the course of two days, after getting the idea after talking to my stepmother about my new little brother (Jacob), who is about two weeks old. He's pretty damn cute!
Writing from a baby's POV, or a really young child's POV, is really interesting. It was hard taking into account how they wouldn't know as many words, or what things or people really are, but my sister says it was okay (or that the first bit was; she didn't read the rest), so I guess it's all fine.
Just gonna do a super fast explanation, just in case someone doesn't get it, and I'm going to do it in list form because screw you, I do what I want:
- the first section is all about how life is, and how the baby's parents were killed (the idea was that his mum was Lisa, and his dad was... I dunno, the guy she was dating after Dean. I don't remember his name) and Dean and Castiel were his godparents. Since this is an AU, angels and demons etc. aren't real, so the Winchesters weren't hunters. The whole point of Dean finally holding him right was that Sam turned up to teach him properly, and Cas was always the same colour because of his trench coat.
- the second is when Jeff is two. It's pretty simple to understand, so I don't think there's anything I need to explain here.
- the third is when he is six, and he understands some things. Again, pretty obvious. I think everything makes sense, and you can ask me if it doesn't anyway.
- the fourth - teenagedom! This is where I tried to stop writing in so many sentences and 'buts' and 'ands'. It was meant to feel more structured, and I think I handled it pretty well. My vocab isn't huge, so that's why it's still simple, but it's okay because I like simple reads.
- fifth is Jeff all grown up with his own baby. I know I missed out people like John and Mary, and I missed details like' does Jeff know his real parents died?', but I couldn't think of how to include it. I think that, by the end, he does know, and although it makes him sad, his life is good, and always has been. I think Jeff would consider Dean and Cas his real parents, because he only knew his birth parents for about a week (not counting the 9 months he would have been in Lisa's belly). I guess that Jeff would have really been Ben, had Lisa and her husband (seriously, what was that guy's name?) lived. And named him something that wasn't Jeff. But Jeff just seemed to fit!
This has been a super long A/N at the end, and only really necessary to read if you got confused at any point in the story. Sorry about this! I ramble a lot, just ask my best friend Becky, who you should totally love and check out here: soniccane. She writes more or less the same stuff I do, only more of it, and better. And faster.
So anyway, that's pretty much all I have to say. If anything about the story is still unclear and you want to know, drop a review and I'll either PM you or add the answer to this batshit crazy long A/N. Thanks for reading, as always! -Jinx