This is just a short crack-fic, which came to my head at a New Year celebration party. It came to me when I was (very) drunk. I hope you like it.
Probing… Uranus
"Are you sure, Commander?" asked EDI. Shepard and Joker laughed.
"Yes, I'm sure. Come on, do it." Replied Shepard. EDI gave an electronic sigh. Shepard leaned over the console to see the probe's trajectory.
"Probing… Uranus." Announced EDI. A panel behind Shepard opened and a thick cylinder attached to a robotic arm emerged.
"EDI, where's the probe?" asked Joker.
"Here it is." EDI jabbed the cylinder into the commander's ass. It teared through his pants and went straight into his anus. His cry was heard throughout the Normandy.
"EDI, what have you done?" asked Joker as Dr. Chakwas stormed into the cockpit.
"What he asked. I probed HIS ANUS!" laughed the AI.
This story's lesson: Be careful what you wish for. It may become true.