Wrote this back in February and found it tonight. :) Happy Reading!
"Ya said I don't know you. What didya mean?" he rumbled, kicking a stick with the toe of his shoe.
She looked up and frowned - still hunched over in pain. "What?"
Daryl watched the quiet forest as he spoke. "Back at that business place. With the painting."
"Oh," she said in a small voice. "I didn't mean anything by it. Just teasing you."
He looked at her - squinting his eyes, trying to see any trace of what he was he was looking for in her face. He looked away again as he found nothing. "We don' know each other anymore," he said quietly. He saw her turn to him in the corner of his eye and he continued. "W've gone through so much - still haven't told me about what 'appened. We're not the same, and maybe that's okay. But we're strangers to each other." He sat down beside her, looking at the frayed hem of his pants. "And maybe that's not okay."
Carol swallowed, wringing her hands - realizing the truth behind her words earlier that week. "Why isn't it? I mean, people change in a world like this - you have to in order to survive. We're not the same people we were when this started. I told you that."
"I just- I just feel like I'm losin' ya," he grunted softly.
She glanced at him - he was chewing his bottom lip. "I'm okay, Daryl. Like you said, whatever happened, happened. There's no changing it."
"What did happen?" he asked - he had sworn to himself that he'd never ask her this, but she was leaving him with no choice.
A sigh escaped her lips, a painful one Daryl noticed. "Tyreese- I met up with them after the prison went down," she began slowly. "We found this house and stayed for a few days. We- we were going to stay there - permanently. It was secluded and away from anywhere... Mika and Lizzie, I taught them how to defend themselves; they knew how to use knives and guns."
Her voice hitched and Daryl fought back the urge to stop her, but she had to let herself feel it. He was tired of her hiding the pain. "Lizzie didn't- she didn't understand the walkers. She didn't see the danger they posed to us. She thought- thought they were still people."
She took a shaky breath and let her fingers play with the cuff of her thin jacket. "We- She knew what we thought of her ideas... so, she decided to show us."
Daryl turned to her, watching her carefully - her voice was watery.
"Tyreese and I went back to the house after gathering water, and Lizzie was looking down at Mika. Her-" She hiccuped. "Her hands - up to her forearms - were covered in blood. She'd killed Mika to- to show us what we 'couldn't see' about walkers. Tyreese was able to get her inside. I-I had to put Mika down. I couldn't let her-"
Carol swallowed against the lump in her throat that threatened to surface. "I-I took Lizzie out to- pick some flowers for Mika and-"
Daryl heard the small sob. "A'right." He scooted closer to her though he still kept his distance; he wasn't sure how to comfort her.
"She was going to kill Judith. That's what she was going to do had Tyreese and I not-" She drew in another shaky breath. "She would've killed all of us."
"I know," Daryl replied quietly. "Ya did what ya had to. I get that."
She looked at him, her blue eyes filled with such anxiety and hurt - both for herself and for him. "You did what you could for Beth. I can see it still haunts you, for not saving her."
He chewed his nails and shrugged. He didn't want to talk about what he was dealing with - he wasn't as important as her. "Just lost another little girl. Another part of our family dead. S'not fair anymore, but there's no changin' it. S'done."
Carol nodded and licked her lips. "We're not losing each other, Daryl."
"If I hadn't shown up, would you have left?" he grunted.
"I don't know..."
"You either would or ya wouldn't. No other option." He glanced at her when she didn't reply. "Rick's an idiot," he continued. "Made no sense when he told me he left ya out there. I know ya did what ya did for us - for the people at the prison. Ya tried to save us-"
She didn't reply but just stared ahead at the trees.
He exhaled through his nostrils - the noise sounding more like a grunt. "I woulda gone after ya had ya left."
She didn't move.
"I woulda done whatever I could to bring ya back," he went on. "We need ya. Rick might not admit to it, but we do. Ya saved us when we goddamn didn't deserve it."
"Rick wouldn't have let you go," Carol tried to argue.
"Fuck what he says," Daryl growled. "I woulda split too. We could make it on our own, ya know." He glanced at her. "If ya still want to leave."
She sighed. "I don't know anymore. Rick- he watches me, like I'm going to turn and kill someone else. I just feel like-" She cut off abruptly, looking away from Daryl.
"Before all this shit went down, back at the prison, before anythin' happened, we usedta tell each other everythin'," he said quietly. "Why's it so hard to do that now?"
She wiped at her face. "Because we were safe and there was peace. We were separated and we both lost people. We're just not the same anymore. I don't know what you want us to fix."
He let out a shaky sigh and timidly touched her thigh. "I-I can't lose ya, Carol. Not again."
He thought back to when the Governor attacked and the prison went up. He and Beth had ran from the settlement and as their distance increased, he found himself wondering - worrying - where she was, if she was alive or dead. Then he saw her back in his arms after Terminus only to be taken again - this time into Grady Memorial. He couldn't lose her again; it'd kill him.
"Daryl?" she asked. He had been silent for a while.
He shook his head and chewed on his lip. "S'okay. Jus' remember you've got people here who care 'bout ya." He stood up and listened to the quiet. "Gonna take a look around," he announced before heading off.
He had been gone for at least ten minutes and he returned with a gnawng feeling in his gut. He realized why - Carol was gone. Shit. Had she really split this time for good? He had made a quick and frantic circle around the cabin - she had gone. A frustrated growl left him and he kicked over a log.
He didn't like this. He hated how she thought that hiding her feelings was the answer, that she was just going to let everything that ever happened to them slip away, let their friendship go to ruins. No, he couldn't lose her again. He ducked into the cabin and did a quick scan of people - no Carol.
"Damnit," he cursed under his breath. He raised his crossbow and went in search of her. It took him less time than he thought to come across her, sitting on a lopsided tree. "Ya're gonna be the death of me, woman," he grunted, lowering the bow.
She turned her head and gave him a small smile though it didn't reach her eyes; she was still hurting.
Still puffing about finding her gone back there, he sat beside her just waiting for her to talk. He wouldn't pressure her again, he couldn't.
Carol took a breath. "I don't want you to die, Daryl," she said quietly, gently resting her hand on his leg. The corner of her mouth quirked upward as she felt him flinch momentarily before settling again. "I'm afraid that if I - we get close again, you'll be taken away from me. I can't lose anyone else."
He found his hand coming to rest on her lower back. "I can't either, but I don' think we get a choice now. Th-thought ya left now."
She looked away, feeling a little guilty for scaring him. Then she scooted closer to him until their legs were pressed together. "I was thinking about it. I was thinking about slipping away. No one would notice, no one would miss me - Rick would feel safer-"
"To hell with Rick," Daryl growled. "Carol, I meant what I said. If ya had left, I'd search for ya, bring ya back home."
"I'm not even sure if I'd want to go back home," she admitted.
"Then we'll go together," he replied quickly. "We'll separate from the group. Go off on our own. Survive. We can do it."
She looked up at him. "I couldn't ask that of you, Daryl."
"Ya don't have to. I'll do it willingly." His eyes scanned her face and his lips quivered. "I-I can't lose ya again, Carol. I'd die." He slowly ducked his head and pressed his lips against hers... softly. "Carol?" he asked once he pulled away.
Her eyes had been just as broken as her soul, but Daryl swore he saw a glimmer of hope. "Yes. And we'll survive?" she asked, resting her head in the crook of his neck.
"Hell yeah," he grunted.
Did you enjoy that? I kind of did. :)
I honestly wasn't going to continue writing, but I'm finding myself wanting to.. Should I? Like another part or two? What do you think?