Part Three: My Beautiful, little Cylon
It was pretty hilarious, really. The Girl with the Eidetic Memory had forgotten about him. Well, not completely, Mark thought. I'm back to being "Dr. Sloan" for her. Dr. Sloan… what a joke. Mark had forbidden everyone from talking about it with Lexie. It was best not to relive the past…She was doing so well now, physically and psychologically, after a minor bout with depression. Reliving all that was just going to dredge up old wounds, old hurts; what purpose could it possibly serve? His own selfish needs? I never deserved her in the first place…She's better off without old silly me and my hang-ups. What a girl she was. What a tower of strength! What a woman; my Lexie. Only one arm and she was still a surgeon. Sure, she couldn't do any Neuro or Cardio, and she could only operate using Webber's Da Vinci robot, but she was still a surgeon, damn it all to hell! What a gal! Two years. Two years of rehab after those injuries and she was back doing surgeries…My Lexie… the toughest gal around…Only she isn't my Lexie anymore, is she? She was alive, but he still had lost her…
Alexandra Caroline Grey had always secretly enjoyed feeling like the smartest person in the room...and most of the time, she was right. However, Lexie recently had developed a sneaking suspicion, coming on particularly strongly in the last couple of months, that she'd forgotten something terribly important. It was a new experience for her, really, eidetic memory and all… She'd asked Derek, and he'd changed the subject to how well she had been doing with his "Robo toys"; she'd asked Meredith, and she'd changed the subject to whether she felt up to babysitting Zola again; she'd asked Arizona, and she'd changed the subject to whether she felt up to babysitting Sofia again; she'd asked Callie, and she'd simply uttered "I have to find Mark" and promptly fled her presence; she'd asked Jackson, who had said that "It isn't my place to say."…What the frak was going on? "You have to recover at your own pace" Derek reminded her, "Some brain trauma patients never recover the whole of their memories; lucky for you, your memory is remarkable."…"But I didn't bang my head Derek!" … "Lexie, your body shut down for a while, trying to conserve oxygen; some brain trauma did occur, OK? but I'd say you're 97-98% back; you're lucky, Lexie."
What don't I remember? Hmm…Well, everything around the accident is still quite fuzzy, I don't even remember getting in the plane! What else? Something I said to someone about an infection? Huh? Being infected? Infected with…someone…a person…a guy?…That doesn't even make sense! I'm not involved with anyone, I guess? Right? I mean everyone agrees I was single at the time of the accident, right? I had broken up with Jackson…Why did I break up with Jackson? Hmmm…He won't talk about it…Julia? Who the heck is Julia? Hmm. I guess I hate her? Right! I hate Julia! I've remembered something else! Way to go, Grey! Wait, did Jackson sleep with this Julia woman? Hmm...I seem to remember most of everything OK, I guess. Boston, check. Harvard, check, George and the first year in Seattle and that ratty apartment, check. Go Lexie! What else? Shooting…Karev, argh; Jackson…Who the heck is Julia? Sloan…great surgeon, what did they used to call him? McSteamy? Ha! He's easy on the eyes all right…Nucleic acids…check, periodic table…check…quadratic equations…Hmm…check! Lady of Shalott…check! Romantic Poetry? Check! Buffy the Vampire Slayer, check! Battlestar Galactica? Check! Go, Grey go! Eidetic memory is the best! Wait…Wait just one second…Sloan…Sloan? What's been going on with him the last couple of years?…All I can remember of him is from a while back! I guess we're not really all that close, but, still…what could that possibly mean? Ahh! Why can't I remember! Work brain, work!
Lexie's therapy had proceeded apace. Even though she had lost three limbs, her spine and spinal reflex pathways were intact, her pelvis had been reconstructed by Callie, her Lexipedia brain was almost up to speed again (except for the issue of Mark Sloan apparently), and…let's face it, she was still pretty. Not that she was vain or anything, you understand; she had never considered herself to be remarkably beautiful or anything, really…Cute, yes, maybe even pretty…But gorgeous? Beautiful?…Not really…Still, she was glad that the accident had left her facial features largely intact. Lexie had seen what Body Dysmorphic Disorder had done to some patients post facial trauma and reconstruction, and she was certainly glad not to have dealt with any of that. Remarkably, she still had her uterus. She was thankful for that, really; not that she wanted to have children, you know, or even really had any immediate prospects in that regard, because, let's face it, who would want to go out with the Legless Wonder? She had opted for metal artificial limb attachments instead of the more "flesh-like" porcelain and plastic cosmetic ones…In her opinion those made her look and feel like a lifeless rag doll; an imitation of a human being. At least with the metal attachments she could still get around (thanks to Derek's ingenuity) and she could have the illusion of them being merely "fancy-looking crutches." Besides, the metal attachment for her upper left limb was better for operating the Da Vinci robot anyway…Thank god for Dr. Webber's expensive extravagance! Telemedicine and robotic surgery were the future of Surgery; it's not like with time they wouldn't have fancier and fancier gadgets for remote-control surgeries…
Lexie loved the Mini-Scooter…It was magnetized, you see; apparently Derek had come up with the concept with some help from Dr. Sloan… so when she wore her metal limbs they attached to the magnetized Scooter and she could just glide over through rounds in the Hospital. It didn't hurt that both Zola and Sofia loved riding the Mini-Scooter…Lexie felt much more human hearing their squeals of delight as she glided through the halls…And when she wasn't wearing her upper limb attachment, there was "Rob", of course. Apparently, Dr. Sloan had read about reported cases in England of stroke victims that could not use their arms or limbs being able to operate robotic arms remotely only using their thoughts, using attached electrodes. Derek had laughed, and thought of it as a rather dubious prospect until he saw a demonstration of the concept arranged by Dr. Sloan and a visiting Neurophysiology Fellow from Oxford. "Rob" had thus been born. My Lexipedia brain again coming to my rescue! Heh! And Dr. Sloan...I suppose. "Rob" had freaked everyone out just a little bit; that is, until Karev had taken a habit of calling her "Robot Girl" as a joke. Everyone laughed, and they moved on.
The matter of the mysterious Dr. Sloan continued to elude Lexie; he, as well as everyone else, studiously avoided the subject. What could be so awful? Lexie thought. We didn't get along? Was he abusive? Maybe he hates me...Nah, he doesn't hate me...Maybe he feels guilty about something?...I hate Julia…Hmm…That was a rather random thought, wasn't it? Hmm...There must be a weak link in the chain somewhere? Who's the weakest link? Who could I crack so they finally give me some freakin' info? Hmm...Alex Karev! Yep, it has to be Karev...Agh, Karev.
"Alex?"
"Umm" said Karev, slurping some cafeteria spaghetti.
"Did something happen between Dr. Sloan and me?"
"Huh?"
"Was there something between Dr. Sloan and me, from before?"
"Why don't you ask him, Lex?"
"He's always avoiding me! It bugs the hell out of me and it's certainly suspicious…"
"It's not my place"
"You're going to go the Jackson route? Please, you honed your skills as an old gossip at the feet of Mer and Cristina, you're an old hat at this! Please, Alex"
"Well, you were kind of a slut, you know…"
"WHAT!" everyone in the cafeteria began to stare…
"Well, you know, first you went with George…"
"I didn't sleep with George!"
"No?"
"No!"
"Weren't you, hmm, kinda living with him?"
"We were friends"
"Well, whatever"
"We were just friends!"
"Whatever. You went after me…"
"I went after you?"
"Then Jackson…"
"Hmph!"
"Kinda slutty, if you ask me…"
"Alex!"
"Hey! I like slutty. Mer is kinda like my sister now, you know, and she was kinda of a slut in her Dark and Twisty Days, you know, before she went all Nice and Shiny and Stepford Wife for Derek…"
"And Sloan?"
"Well…"
"I slept with him too?"
"Yep"
"No!"
"Yep"
"I did?"
"I guess your brain after the plane thing isn't so Lexipedia now, eh?"
"I slept with him too?"
"You went to his hotel room like 3 or 4 times a week!"
"We did it in a hotel?"
"Well, he was living there"
"What!"
"Yep."
"Oh God, I am a slut!"
"Well, umm, you were kinda living with him, you know, you moved in with him"
"I moved into a hotel?"
"No, no, you guys moved into an apartment, see?"
"Yes?"
"Then Sloan the Stone-Cold Fox, his first kid, happened…you didn't want kids, you were moving too fast, you thought Sloan was too old…whatever…then the Sofia thing happened…I guess that's it?"
"I dunno what to say…"
"You really need to ask him about these things, you know, Robot Girl"
That night, Lexie dreamt. She was standing in a hotel room yelling "Teach me!" to a startled-looking Sloan (Mark?) , who had then proceeded to…teach her things, lots and lots of things. She dreamt of a cold, cold night; a night where she had confessed, once again, her feelings for him: "I can't sleep, I can't eat"…"I've been infected by Mark Sloan…" Then she dreamt of a dark, dark hole in the ground; she was dying, and a voice, Mark's voice, a voice in the distance was saying: "We are going to have the best life Lex, we're going to be so happy…We're meant to be…I love you, I love you, I love you…" the voice then disappeared into a void of darkness. She was then in a plane…in Boise? But that never happened! The plane broke apart!…Mark making love to her in a motel in Boise…smelling her…loving her…Wait, was that a dream? Lexie awoke, sweating profusely…"God damn you, Mark Sloan! God damn you all to Hell!" shouted Lexie in her empty bedroom.
Someone was banging on his door in the middle of the night. What the heck is going on?
"Mark! Mark!"
"Lex?"
"God damn you Mark!"
"Huh?"
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!"
"I…I dunno"
"What!"
"Well, we…we are not together…we weren't together even then...thanks to my constant idiocy…I…I don't deserve you Lex…I ruined everything…I didn't give us a chance…you were doing so well… are doing so well, with the rehab and everything…I didn't want you to revisit painful memories…I'm not worth it"
"Yep. Thank you for your candor. That was a beauty!"
"You…you, remember?" said Mark, incredulous.
"You're not worth it? God damn it Mark! You promised me! You promised me we were going to be happy! You told me you love me!"
"You remember?"
"Not all of it…I remember you, er, teaching me things…Wipe off that smug smirk off your face this instant Mark Sloan! I'm still mad! I remember my, ehem, love infection speech…"
"I'm infected by Mark Sloan, heh"
"Don't you laugh at me Mark Sloan!"
"But…"
"I remember your goodbye! I remember all of it! My despair, your despair…I remember dying, Mark! Don't you think I had a right to know all this?"
"I…I didn't want you to reject me…"
"What?"
"I…I lost you again…"
"Huh?"
"Back in that damn forest, I…I imagined it was all a dream…"
"Huh?"
"I imagined we were in Boise and that we were all right, and...and you looked beautiful and you weren't dead, and I…I made love to you…and we were happy and whole, Lex! I…then I thought you were dead again, and…and then it wasn't true...and you survived…but you didn't remember me, or rather, us…so, I figured…Eh…that you would reject me… and maybe you were better off without me anyway, so…" Mark looked like a lost, little child.
Lexie smiled. "You know, I remember a dream about Boise, too"
"Huh?"
"Did by any chance we did it against the doorframe of my motel room?"
"Huh?"
"Didn't we? You kinda ravished me, right?" Lexie smiled mischievously.
"How could you possibly know…"
"We had the same dream."
"Impossible!"
"Oh, entirely possible, my dear Dr. Sloan!"
"How?"
"Why, we're meant to be, don't you know?" Lexie smiled, and then, she kissed him. " I love you, Mark Sloan; and with that, I'm going to go now…"
"Huh? Why?"
"You didn't think I was going to sleep with you right now, did you?"
"Well…"
"Pig" Lexie smiled
"Handsome, though, no?"
"Mark, we need to rediscover each other again; I need…I need to fill the gaps…just because I remember a few things doesn't mean that we're back to where we once were…Besides, you may not want me…anymore"
"What?"
"I'm…I'm not whole, Mark…"
"Now who's being the goddamn idiot!"
"Huh?"
"Lex, I'm positively and categorically sure that you are the most amazing, brilliant and beautiful woman in this world, and the next…" Mark smiled, and he kissed her.
"Bye!"
"Bye?"
"I can't think when you're around, Mark…"
"What? Looking all tall and gorgeous?"
"Shut Up! Bye!"
"Bye. I love you"
Months passed. Then years. A very pregnant Lexie sits in Mark's lap, eating cafeteria spaghetti off his tray, in plain view of everybody…
"Mmmm…" Lexie slurps the spaghetti…
"You know, these endless Public Displays of Affection are positively disgusting. Not to mention getting kinda old…didn't your honeymoon end like, I don't know, two years ago?" Karev said, as he slurped his spaghetti.
"Ah, Karev, leave the poor kids alone! They found each other again!" Derek said, in a sing-songy way.
"Now you guys remember that you're getting Zola tonight, right?" asked Meredith
"Sure, we know you're on call tonight, Mer. We're getting Sofia too, 'Zona and Callie both have late surgeries…" Lexie said, slurping some more spaghetti.
"Leave me some spaghetti, woman! It's my tray!"
"Shut up, you oaf! Besides, you know perfectly well it's all-you-can-eat, and I'm eating for twins, so…"
Mark kissed her. "Ugh! You reek of tomato sauce!"
"You love me."
"You reek, Stinky." Mark kissed her again, while Karev made gagging noises…Lexie slurped some more spaghetti…
"All's well that ends well!" sighed Meredith.
Lexie turned to look at her sister, and smiled broadly…"Rob", her roaming remote robotic arm, turned slightly towards Meredith as well…
"You know, Robot Girl, it's still creepy when you do that."
"I'll have you know, Alex, that both Zola and Sofia love the Robot!"
"It's true, you know…" said Meredith
"It's still creepy, though."
"Shut up, Karev." said Mark.
Mark beamed at his wife, who was still busy slurping spaghetti sauce…Yep, all things considered, he was a very lucky man…"My beautiful, little Cylon!" said Mark, kissing Lexie once again.
"You, know, once again, woman, you left me without any lunch!"
"Shut up!"
"You love me."
"Yep, I do"
FINIS
A few caveats: first, thanks for any reviews, and for reading this. This is my first, and last attempt at fan fiction. I had to write it because, quite simply, I had to make Lexie live. I felt compelled that she should live. It's funny really, being a fan of plenty of shows where characters die all the time (Game of Thrones, Battlestar Galactica, JJ Abrams shows, Joss Whedon shows, Lost, etc.) that a death affected me so profoundly and absolutely. I could not accept Lexie's death, it felt wrong, absolutely wrong and antithetical to her storyline as was presented to us right until the end…Fortunately, we don't have to accept Shonda's version of things, since Lexie is a fictional character, she can always live in our hearts, our memory, and most importantly, our prose. I hope you enjoyed it. BTW the first image that came to me for this story was that of a happy, pregnant Lexie sitting in Mark's lap. I hope I did right by her. I labeled these stories as fantasy, just in case, but you know, the most fanciful element, the robot arm controlled by thoughts? It's not fiction. I invite you to Google it. Treatment of patients with stoke or limb mobility impairment with mechanical assist from tech controlled by the patient's thoughts sounds like Sci-Fi, but it's currently in medical use. By all means, google it, it's currently in use. LOL. Thanks for reading. I hope I left Lexie in a happy place. BTW I don't own anything, obviously, and Shonda owns all. Unfortunately. This applies to all three stories. They can be read individually but the intended order is 1) Birdsong, 2) The Lady of Shalott and 3) My Beautiful, little Cylon; minor smut warning for Birdsong. Because of that, Birdsong has an M rating; the new versions of Lady of Shalott and My Beautiful, little Cylon have a T rating. Thanks!