"Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham:
Devoted Wife and Mother
November 16 1867-May 7 1939"
Never did I think she would die before I did. She was such a strong willed woman. She survived the death of two children, the Spanish flu, and life in America. How could one disease wipe her away so quickly?
It started in December of '38. I could tell something was a little off, but I figured it had to do with Christmas and the stress of Christmas Time. She became more and more delicate. Every night I tried to touch her, she'd push me away and turn to her side.
One bitter February morning, she rose from bed. I watched her slouch and shuffle her way to her dresser. Her sweaty hand clutched the dresser. She mumbled something I didn't understand. Suddenly, her legs wobbled and she collapsed to the floor. Immediately, I rang for the doctor. The kept her in the hospital for a week.
It was cancer. Pancreatic. She had only four months to live.
All I can say is that was the fastest four months I've ever experienced. I constantly sat by her side. I skipped village events, cricket games, anything that kept me away from her. Time and time again she attempted to convince me to live and do things without her, but I just couldn't.
There wasn't much we could do. We strolled along the Downton estate while she still had the strength and when she didn't I pushed her wheelchair. Sometimes people came to visit like Anna and Bates or Edith, but mostly it was just us. Ever since Mary moved to London with her family and the servants moved out or died, it's been awfully quiet. Now it's just me and the haunting silence.
Towards the last two weeks, she was bedridden. I stayed with her holding her fragile body in mine. Her skin was so yellow and her eyes were bloodshot and distant. On her last night she was more upbeat and had slightly more energy.
"Robert, thank you for staying by my side through all of this. It's been difficult, but you eased some of the pain. I love you," Cora gratefully stated.
"Oh, Cora, I couldn't imagine being anywhere else but here with you."
She smiled. Her eyes closed. Her last breath escaped her lungs. Her limp body was heavy and her smile slowly faded. I cradled her body close to my heart for the last time.
Recently I've been thinking about moving to my mother's old estate. I think Mary wants to sell Downton. My generation is no longer relevant and Downton is no longer needed. All I can say is without Cora, Downton has no joy, no love, no spirit, no life.