A/N: It's probably obvious because of the title but just incase anybody missed it. This one shot was written with the Eagle's song, Hotel California in mind. It sets the atmosphere nicely if you listened to it whilst reading this. Thanks everyone who reviewed to my other Clintasha stories!
.1.
She's in a bar the first time she hears that song. It was some middle aged guy with a stomach far too large who had stumbled over to the juke box to select the song for the last few minutes before midnight. She thought the tune was catchy and the guitar was nice but that was about as far as she got before the music drowned out behind her when she spotted her target.
Nobody saw it coming of course, nobody ever did. There were only nine people she counted in the bar that night and only one of them needed to be killed. She waited for those last few seconds to pass and just before midnight struck and just before she leaned close enough to empty that single silent shot into her target, the song started with, '…thought I heard them say… welcome to the Hotel California.'
Her target slumped over limp but nobody noticed. The music kept playing, the people kept drinking and with a last look at her dead target she turned and went on to find her next target.
She never did find her next target though because as she walked out of the bar that night she turned the corner of the alley way to find a man standing before her with his bow drawn and his arrow pointed to the space between her eyes. He looked at her with his stormy blue coloured eyes and for a tiny moment she lost herself in them. She collected herself when he smiled at her though. The twitch of his lip was enough to wake her from her momentary daze.
She took that moment to look him up and down and she remembered thinking of how silly he was standing there in tights and a bow in hand. She wanted to laugh and to tell him how silly she thought he was. But something about the way he looked at her told her he wasn't there for a laugh.
He introduced himself as Clint Barton and he told her he knew about her and knew of what she did. He said her name, not the one she fabricated for her missions but her actual name that few actually knew of. There was a moment where it took her by surprize but if there was one thing she learned about being on those streets, it was how to hide her emotions and how to maintain focus above all costs. She never relented and never for a moment let her guard down as he continued to talk about the organization he worked for.
He told her about the Strategic Hazard Intervention Espionage Logistics Directorate that was also more commonly known as SHIELD. She listened even though she didn't really want too. As he spoke she waited patiently, watching his every move, every twitch and every smirk for that one sign of hesitation. He never did. His focus amazed her and his never quivering arms told her he was good at handling that bow of his. His firm and never moving stance told her he was good at what he did and she remembered having felt somewhat honoured at knowing that at least she wouldn't be killed by some rookie.
But then he offered her a job and then told her that with SHIELD she would be paid well, have a home and be well looked after. He told her that he was sent to kill her but because of her particular skill set and because he could understand why she's done the things she's done, he wants to vouch for her because he knows she could be better.
That was the first time somebody ever tried to understand her past and tried to reason with the reason why she had done the things she'd done.
She accepted the job because of the hope she saw in his eyes.
.2.
The second time she hears that song she's on a mission in Alaska and they're in a cave sitting out a particularly insistent blizzard. Coulson told them evac would be there when the blizzard cleared. That was the longest night of her life for as long as she remembered.
He pulled out his SHIELD issued phone and after a few clicks and that continuous smirk plastered on his face, the song started playing. She knew it the instant it started and his smile widened when he looked up to find her looking at him. He told her that was his favourite song because there was something about its catchy tune and the sound of the guitar that really clicked with him when he first listened to it.
The fact that he liked the song for the same reasons as she did startled her. She didn't show it though because she was good at things like that. She wouldn't admit to it and for the longest time she wouldn't tell him about how she liked that song too. She didn't have to pretend that she was listening to it for the first time for long because he ruffled through his bag and brought out a nice bottle of Russian Vodka.
The sound of the, 'such a lovely place, such a lovely face…' drowned out behind her when she told him he had good taste when it came to Vodka. She remembered he chuckled at that and told her that he learned from the best. She commented about the bottle being half empty though which led to him telling her that she was awfully pessimistic if that was the way she looked at it. She remembered not really thinking it through properly when she retorted that if he had a past like hers then he would think it to be half empty too.
That was the day she learned about his past.
He rarely spoke about it and she never asked. They had been partners for close to two years by that point and she knew it was only a matter of time before he'd tell her. She listened when he told her and she remembered having laid a hand on his shoulder when he slouched lowly, clearly trying not to remember but yet trying to remember all at the same time. She knew it must have been difficult for him to relate it all to her so she responded in the only way she knew how.
She told him about her parents, her uncle and the Red Room. He knew most of it of course from the information SHIELD's officers had gathered. But he didn't know about the finer things in her life that happened in the Red Room behind closed doors, in the dark for only her handlers to know and for her to always remember.
She knew he started getting uncomfortable when she related some of the darker things they did to her in the Red Room. But he never stopped her, he just kept listening. He only did the same as she had done earlier and laid a hand on her shoulder too. She remembered having paused momentarily when he touched her because up until that point, he had never touched her to comfort her. Sure he held her hand when she hung off the edge of a building or when she needed a boost up a fence. But he had never offered her comfort quite like how he did then and something strange passed through her when she realized she was drawn to that feeling.
They sat huddled together that night and they traded stories of their past until dawn when Coulson radioed in that evac would be there in an hour. That song looped on replay and to this day every time she hears the howl of a blizzard she always hears the murmur of that song.
The memory of the longest night of her life also became her most favoured because it was the day she realized she would take a bullet for him.
.3.
The third time she hears that song she's in an abandoned shipping office building trying to locate the cell they locked him in. She remembered having hovered behind a wall in one of the building's darkened hallways listening to Coulson tell her that there were exactly two levels to the building. He told her the first level had ten guards and the second had ten as well. She told him to have evac ready in 30, not a minute early and not a minute late. Coulson acknowledged without question because after five years of back to back missions, he learned not to question unless completely necessary.
She counted her footsteps and mentally drew a map of the building as she navigated through the darkened hallways looking for the guards. She moved quietly but quickly, not wanting to waste seconds and minutes to saving him. The last thing she wanted was for him to get killed on her watch especially since being kidnapped was not on the agenda. It had all been a hideous error and a hopeless play on her part when they were ambushed. They were situated in Budapest to eliminate an illegal weapons dealer. But just when they thought they had the target right where they wanted him, things flew southward and before they knew it they were taken by surprize. They ended up behind a particular set of concrete rubble using every ounce of ammo they had on them. But before long they ran out and they split ways in attempt to confuse their enemy. She escaped but he was caught. That was the first time she let her guard down and the first time he let his down too. She blamed it on her emotions and he blamed no one because he still tells her that was his most favoured mission.
The guards went down easily one by one, some dying instantly and some alive long enough to look her in the eyes. She cracked some of their necks and stabbed some, but she didn't shoot any. The night was far too silent and even a silencer would alert the closer guards of her presence and that was the last thing she wanted.
She remembered rounding each corner, peering down the corridors and all the while thinking about everything that had changed between them. It had all started 48 hours ago when their target stepped into the shower. They weren't keen on watching their target shower so they took what little amount of time they had to sit back and relax. He made a joke and she remembered laughing at it. Then something changed, something happened because the next thing she remembered was taking that moment to look at him, to really appreciate the curve of his face and that curl of his smile. His touch was the first thing she remembered. It had been the most gentle of caresses she had ever felt before. But what really set her back was the fact that this was him. He was the man that saved her, that understood her and accepted her anyway. He was the man that offered her friendship without asking for anything else other than her friendship too. He was the man that she had somehow let herself develop feelings for even though she always told herself they were for children.
She found his bow and arrows in one room and quietly reached for them. She remembered having strung it around her neck similarly to how she had watched him do the same a million times already. It felt strange but yet it felt so right to have something that belonged to him so close to her. She could smell his cologne on it and that was all she needed to promise herself that she was going to take out every last one of the weapons dealer's men.
That was also when she remembered how he looked at her when they kissed. He never asked and he didn't need too because in the few years she spent with him, she trusted him above all. He held her so gently, so perfectly that in all of her life she never imagined she'd actually think she wanted this for the rest of her life. She remembered that this was the same man who sometimes favoured twisting his victim's neck in the field and punching in their faces that one time he found her after she had been badly beaten up in Tokyo. But there he held her with such gentleness that could easily rival that of her favourite small SHIELD issued pillow.
She remembered shaking the thoughts from her mind when she eliminated the last five guards on that first level. She did it wish such grace and such ease that she felt like she was dancing. She moved quickly to the stairwell she found before but just before she rounded the corner Coulson's voice through the comm link at her earpiece told her three men were descending the steps. She remembered having felt thankful for SHIELD's high-tech machines enabling them to target every heat signature in the building. Her presence would definitely have been alerted if she had blindly turned the corner to face them.
She waited and listened as their footsteps echoed louder and just when the first one rounded the corner she sliced his throat, stabbed the other and twisted the other's neck. She rubbed the blood from her dagger on one of their shirts before she quickly made her way up the steps. It's right then when she stepped up on that last step to the second level when she heard the tune of that song echoing down the corridor. She heard the words, 'some dance to remember, some dance to forget…' . It took her by surprize but as always she didn't let it overwhelm her.
The music only helped to remind her that after this mission everything between them would change. She craved his touch, needed his kiss and wanted simply, him and she was going to do whatever it took to get him back. The weapon's dealer out smarted them when his men interrupted their kiss and she was going to be damned if she let them take away the only thing that has ever made her happy.
She hid in the darkness and moved only in the shadows. Coulson's voice came through the comm link again and he told her that something must have happened because only four heat signatures were left. She felt her heart drop for a moment because that could only mean one thing. She didn't want to think about it so she pressed forward, faster this time and walking directly in the light without caring if her position had been compromised.
Before Coulson could report in the status of the situation she heard gunfire and when she turned the corner she found him slouched with his back against the wall and a gun in his hold resting on his thigh. There was a single light on him from where she stood down that darkened hallway and before him there were three dead bodies and to his other side there were four more. He looked up when she neared him and that was when she saw the blood pouring from the bullet wound at his stomach. His right eye was bruised and there were small cuts around his face from what she estimated to be a result of the men having beaten him up. But despite all of that when he saw her he smiled even though one side of his lip was split.
She instructed Coulson to have evac in 5 when she made her way to him. She lowered herself to his level when she neared him and when she stretched forward to lay a hand on his arm he smiled and barely murmured, 'They didn't like my favourite song'. That was when she noticed he was holding his phone in his other hand, he turned it off just before the last words were, '…what a nice surprize.'
That was the day she told him she liked the song too.
She never left his side when evac came to take them back to the Hellcarrier. She waited when he had surgery to remove the bullet and she requested for a one week vacation when they brought him back to SHIELD's equivalent of an ICU. Fury took one look at Clint and one look at her and then approved. If he had suspected the fundamental shift of their relationship after that mission, he didn't comment about it until at least a few years later.
She was there when Clint woke up, she was there when he complained excessively about the itch and she was there when he refused to eat the porridge she specifically learned how to make just for him. She was also there by his side a month later in his bed and a year later in their bed too because it was that mission that made her realize she needed him and she would do absolutely anything for him.
.4.
The fourth time she hears that song she's in India looking for a doctor who was also known as Bruce Banner. She knew of him and thankfully never had a chance to deal with him before until then. She wasn't entirely sure what to expect other than the overview of him Coulson passed to her. He instructed her to be cautious, to take it easy and persuade rather than force him. He was easy enough to locate thanks to SHIELD regularly keeping tabs on him.
She found a little girl, maybe a year or two younger than her when she was taken into the Red Room and she asked if she would go find a particular doctor for a small sum of money. She told the girl to lead him to that secluded little hut on the outskirts of the city and as the little girl nodded her head, she tried not to think about the time she spent in the Red Room. The little girl was easy enough to persuade and without a wasted second she scurried off down the streets.
She found a seat for herself while she waited for the doctor and that was when she heard the echo of the song's tune riding on the night's breeze. It was all she needed to remind her of everything between them.
She remembered the first time she met him outside that bar all those years ago when she was young and careless. She remembered that song on that jukebox and that man with the large stomach. She remembered that time in Alaska when she first realized she had reached a point where taking a bullet for him seemed like the right thing to do just because he was her friend. But then she remembered Budapest and though he still tells her she remembers it for all of the wrong reasons, she still can't shake that feeling she felt when she thought he had been killed.
The touch of the ring brushing over her skin on her chest reminded her of everything she was fighting for and everything she wasn't. Sure they were on the brink of global catastrophe and sure they were actually calling in their last cards and hopelessly stringing together a team that could potentially save them all. But here they were trying to enlist the doctor also commonly known as the Hulk. She didn't care for the others and whether or not they could or couldn't help her.
She only cared if she could save him because even if the rest of the world crumbled at the hands of that god of mischief she was going to at least try to get him back. He has been that only thing in her life that has remained constant and never strayed. He was the one that showed her it was okay to love and that it was okay to need and to want too. She wasn't going to let him slip through her fingers that easily because whatever the Black Widow wanted she got and now, she needed him more than ever.
She heard the girl skipping into the little hut and as the little girl disappeared out the window the sound of the, 'and still those voices are calling from far away…' drowned out behind her when she turned the corner to greet the doctor.
.5.
The fifth time she hears that song she's waking up on the 57th floor of the newly renamed the Avenger's Tower. He's lying on his back and has an arm lazily sprawled out the top empty area of her pillow. She could feel him playing with the ends of her hair and from where she situated herself beside him she could see he was holding his phone with one hand and looking out the window. She glanced out the window too and that's when she sees it, the nicest and most beautiful rainbow stretching over New York City. The city still looks a crumbled mess and she imagines the Avenger's Tower doesn't look any prettier either because there's still that singular A where the name Stark was once written.
She shifted a little and that was when he shifted too and turned to his side so he could bury his nose into the crook of her neck. The music kept playing on a low volume somewhere between them where his phone had fallen. He didn't let her go even after Thor's voice boomed from the other side of the door telling them that they were getting ready to leave in an hour.
He told her he loved her and told her that he was sorry for hurting her even though she followed to say none of it was his fault because they weren't trained for things like this. But when he finally did let her go and when they finally pulled themselves from the bed he slipped the ring from his neck onto his finger and she did the same too. They wore it for a few minutes while they readied themselves for seeing Thor and Loki off. They took it off before they left the room but they returned it to their necks and as they stepped from the door and just before he turned off the song they both smiled at each other at those last words, 'You can check-out any time you like. But you can never leave!'
That was when she realized she'd love him not just for then or tomorrow, next week, month or year.
She loved him like children did, to the very end of time.
end.