The Mentalist in Briefs Chapter 1, a mentalist fanfic

Don't own Mentalist

No copyright infringement

Intended. Cash free.

And now for something completely different...this won't be everyone's cup of tea. Thanks to Entwife Incognito for the idea. I love haiku, but never considered mixing it with The Mentalist. I've tried to summarize each Season 1 episode in a haiku - usually in one, but sometimes more (I'm not into rules). Not sure if it will be entertaining to read, but it sure was fun to do. If folks find it enjoyable, I'll continue. If not, ah well, I had a great time writing them. I've included an all caps title for each haiku. (cuz I wanted to)

Episodes condensed

to seventeen syllables.

So how did I do?

Pilot 1.01

INTRO TO PATRICK JANE

Catch the killer. Make

Teresa smile. Rest under

a blanket of guilt.

Red Hair and Silver Tape 1.02

LISBON'S REALITY

Jane makes my life so

Difficult. Complicated.

But Jane makes my life..

JOKE'S ON YOU

You beat me at a

child's game. Too bad you don't have

a child anymore.

Red Tide 1.03

WHAT ANIMAL ARE YOU?

Jane is a lion.

Lisbon's a German Shepherd.

Both are heroic.

Ladies in Red 1.04

SPEAKING OF LOVE

White orchids displayed.

Jane's method of seduction?

Love and affection.

NAUGHTY BITS

Had she seen Peter

and the Wolf, would she have seen

peter of the wolf?

Redwood 1.05

MELANCHOLY TUNE

Music is Jane's key

to memories. Dissonant

truths are hard to hear.

Red Handed 1.06

CASE CLOSED

Jane sniffed the hand in

the middle of the road. Cho

lost thirty five cents.

A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND

Jane gives Teresa

carbon under pressure. It

won't be the last time.

Seeing Red 1.07

KO'D

Enter one frizzy

haired fake psychic. She read Jane's

weak spot and punched hard.

The Thin Red Line 1.08

SNEAK PREVIEW

Lisbon grins at Jane

Enjoying a baby. Fast

forward a few years.

Flame Red 1.09

BURNING QUESTIONS

Marble judge Jane tips

hand to Lisbon. Is justice

state sanctioned vengeance?

PERVY PERV PERV

"I hope you burn like

a candle you miserable

son of a bitch." Hot.

ACCELERANT

Tommy throws gas on

Jane's burning need for revenge.

"It was redemptive."

Red Brick and Ivy 1.10

HONESTLY

"I think I deserve

the truth." Wait eight years until

you get the whole truth.

Red John's Friends 1.11

MANIPULATIONS

Son by his mother.

Minelli by Lisbon. Jane

by Red John. Next time?

Red Rum 1.12

WHICH WITCH?

Cho's superstitious.

Grace schools coach. Jane bags one more

Abusive father.

Paint it Red 1.13

STEAL THE BACON

Jane fleeces Russian

mobster for fun. Then draws bead

on callous father.

Crimson Casanova 1.14

AU NATURALE

Player Cho workin' it

No business like Cho business.

C'mon. You'd hit that.

WATER WISE

She knows you and still

loves you. Face splashed with advice.

Some day you'll take it.

Scarlett Fever 1.15

MOTHER LOVE

Jane knew a grieving

mother couldn't see child hurt.

A cougar bags Wayne.

Bloodshot 1.16

LEMONY ANGER

Grace's first psycho

boyfriend plots. Crabby blind Jane

feels up Lisbon's smile.

Carnelian, Inc. 1.17

LEGENDS OF THE FALLS

Body falls. Trust fall.

Falk's fall ends in windfall for

needy family.

METAPHORICALLY JANE

Consultant sees an

ancient undersea worm in

a months old goat turd.

Russett Potatoes 1.18

A REAL SPUD

Wayne in trance attacks

team? WTF? Plot belongs

in a "B" movie.

A Dozen Red Roses 1.19

THE BIZ

Divas. Sycophants.

Drugs. A saddest! And a bit

of afternoon soap.