Title: No My Name Ain't Baby
Synopsis: When the Impala becomes a real woman named Janet Dean is in for the wildest ride of his life.
Author: lovepass77
Rating: M, for sexuality and language
Genre: Supernatural
Characters: Sam, Dean, Janet, The 1967 Chevy Impala,
Pairing: Dean and Janet
Songs: I like to incorporated many song titles and lyrics into my stories because music is such a wonderful inspiration in general, but especially for Supernatural and these songs just make me want to write so if you have the chance go ahead and listen to them it will help you understand my stories better.
Disclaimer: I have absolutely no rights to Supernatural, it belongs to Eric Kripke aka T-Bear. I just like to write stories about it.
Scene: On the highway headed for adventure
Dean loudly sings along to Metallica as he drives his Impala a100 miles per hour down a long deserted stretch of highway in Michigan.
"Hit dirt, shake tree Then make me miss you So wash your face away with dirt Draw lead, piss wine Then make me miss you So wash your face away with dirt Yeah suck it! Live to win, dare to fail Then make me miss you So wash your face away with dirt Come make me miss you Come carpe diem baby"
Split sky, part sea
Strip smile, lose cool
Bleed the day and break the rule
Live to win, dare to fail
Eat the dirt and bite the nail
Then make me miss you
It don't feel good until it hurts
So take this world and shake it
Come squeeze and suck the day
Come carpe diem baby
Sink teeth, all mine
Stoke fire, break neck
Suffer through this, cheat on death
Hug the curve, lose the time
Tear the map and shoot the sign
ou yeah
Then make me miss you
It don't feel good until it hurts
So take this world and shake it
Come squeeze and suck the day
Come carpe diem baby
Eat dirt, bite the nail
Strip smile, lose cool
Bleed the day and break the rule
Hug the curve, loose the time
Tear the map and shoot the sign
Come on, come on
Then make me miss you
It don't feel good until it hurts
So take this world and shake it
Come squeeze and suck the day
Sam reads a newspaper looking for an unsolved mystery that could lead to their next big case.
He raises his head up from the paper and frowns frustrated with Dean's singing.
Sam: "Oh come on dude give it a rest, you're hurting my ears."
Dean turns the music up instead.
Dean: "Sorry I can't hear you Sammy, what's the number one rule up in here?"
Sam rolls his eyes at Dean. He knows that means he is supposed to shut his cakehole, but Sam is tired of the noise.
Sam puts in his earphones and turns on his IPOD so he doesn't have to listen to Dean's loud rock any longer.
Dean keeps singing and driving until he feels a loud pop under the car as one of the Impala's tires blows out. The Impala skids, so Dean slams on the brakes. Both brothers gasp out loud when he almost loses control of the car entirely.
Dean slows down and pulls over to the side of the highway.
Dean: "Son of a bitch what the hell is it now?"
Dean gets out of the Impala to check the damage and he sees the flattened out tire has a sharp nail stuck in it. He scoffs out loud irritated that his precious car needs to be fixed again.
Dean goes to the back of the Impala and opens up the trunk.
Sam gets out of the car and walks back to look in the trunk also.
Dean: "Sam hand me that jack will ya?"
Sam grabs the jack from the trunk and also he gets out dad's journal
Dean grabs the spare tire out of the trunk and his tool kit then he heads over to the back right side wheel to change out the flat for the spare tire.
Sam: "Need any help?"
Dean shakes his head.
Dean: "I've got it covered."
Sam gets back in the car and starts reading their dad's journal.
Sam reads while Dean works away on the tire when out of nowhere a sexy black haired Asian woman walks up and knocks on the passenger side windshield of the Impala.
Sam is a bit startled to see her there, but rolls down the window to find out what she wants.
Sam: "Need any help miss?"
The woman: "No, but you two look as though you do."
Sam smiles slightly back at her.
Sam: "Nah, we're fine my brother is just fixing a flat, he's almost done."
Dean continues working away as he refastens the tire lug-nuts.
The woman: "Well I could use a ride actually?"
Sam smiles again realizing the woman is in need of assistance and happily gets out of the car to shake her hand.
Sam: "Hi, I'm Sam; the roadie over there is Dean."
The woman takes Sam's hand and shakes it
The woman: "Nice to meet you Sam, my name is Janet. Thanks a lot I needed to get off this road my feet are killing me and its getting dark."
Sam: "What happens around here when it gets dark?"
Janet: "Oh well I've heard some weird stories and as they say the freaks come out at night."
Sam: "Yeah, that's been my experience anyway, of course people usually think I'm the freak."
Janet laughs at that.
Janet: "A freak, a handsome guy like you? No way!"
Sam awkwardly smiles a bit embarrassed now.
Dean finally gets up and sees the young woman wearing tight black jeans, black high heeled boots and a formfitting, red and black leather motorcycle jacket.
Dean immediately becomes interested in her.
Dean: "Well hello there sweetheart, hope my brother hasn't bore you too much, what can I do for ya?"
.
Janet: "Well I could use a ride into town."
Dean: "Absolutely, you can even sit by me. Sammy, get in the back will ya."
Sam sighs already annoyed when he realizes he is going to have to spend the entire rest of the ride listening to Dean flirting with this hitchhiker chick.
Sam is just about to grab his stuff out of the front seat and get into the back when Janet grabs his arm to stop him
Janet: "No, please I don't want to put anybody out really."
Sam: "How did you get all the way out here by yourself anyway?
Janet laughs a little embarrassed to tell him what happened.
Janet: "Oh my ride dumped me, he left me out here. I've been trying to catch a ride ever since."
Dean frowns
Dean: "What sort of douche bag would leave a pretty young thing like you out here alone?"
Janet: "My brother."
Sam: "Oh well that figures that's happened to me more than once."
Dean gives Sam a what the hell is that suppose to mean look.
Sam just rolls his eyes and doesn't respond to his brother's angry eyes.
Dean: "Well allow us to be your new escorts' young lady; we'll be happy to take you into town. I hope you don't mind listening to classic rock though."
Janet: "I love it!
Dean grins and nudges Sam on the shoulder with the back of his hand.
Dean: "Hell yeah, my kind of woman right there, well come on get in."
Janet smirks at Dean then gets inside of the Impala. Sam just sighs again then gets in after her.
They head for the nearest town called Silverado Springs.
Scene: Inside the Silverado Motel
After checking into their new motel for the night, Sam goes across the street to a nearby twenty four hour Starbucks to pull an all-nighter. He plans to drink, coffee and do research on his laptop until morning so Dean can spend time getting to know Janet.
Dean: "So why don't you tell me a little about yourself Janet?"
Janet: "Oh there's not much to tell. I just need to find my brother is all."
Dean: "Well, I'm pretty good at finding people so tell me what is your brother's name?"
Janet: "Henry."
Dean: "Does he have a cell?"
Janet: "Not at the moment. He does have a computer though. I could email him and tell him where I'm at."
Dean: "Yeah, sure use my laptop."
Janet: "Thanks Dean."
Dean smiles then he yawns. He decides to use the bathroom and freshen up just in case Janet decides she's in the mood.
Janet opens his laptop up and immediately starts downloading information from it into her mind. She then emails her brother and lets him know that she's found a ride.
While Dean is inside the bathroom, Janet slips his car keys off the dresser and heads outside.
Dean comes out of the bathroom after flushing the toilet.
Dean: "So Janet you hungry cause I'm starv…."
Dean pauses when he realizes Janet is not in the room any longer.
Dean: "Janet?"
He looks at his laptop and notices she left it on so he turns it off and closes it.
Dean opens the door to his room and steps outside thinking maybe she went to get a soda at the vending machine.
He smiles when instead he notices she is inside his car in the backseat.
Dean walks over to the car and gets in the driver's seat.
Dean: "What are you doing back there?"
Janet: "I just love cars, they make me feel safe. When I was little my dad use to drive us around time until we fell asleep, is it alright if I sleep here tonight?"
Dean stares at her for a moment then laughs and nods.
Dean: "Well can I join you back there?"
Janet smiles back at him.
Janet: "Sure."
Dean gets out of the car again and gets into the back with her.
Janet blushes as he slams the door shut and moves in close.
Janet: "You know a classic car like this would go for a pretty mint would you ever want to sell it?"
Dean: "Never! This is my baby! My dad gave her to me she's like family I could never sell the Impala."
She smiles at him and nods.
Janet: "That's cool man. I understand how you feel. Not everyone can appreciate a fine machine like this one. You've taken good care of her too Dean. A girl should be so lucky."
Dean: "Yeah, well if you say so."
He smirks at her then leans in to kiss her.
Janet closes her eyes and kisses Dean.
They make out in the backseat until Janet pulls away.
Dean: "What's wrong babe?"
Janet: "I don't want to ruin the upholstery."
Dean: "We won't trust me."
Janet: "Besides, it is too public sitting here anyone could walk by and see us in this parking lot. Let's go for a drive."
Dean: "You sure?"
Janet nods yes.
Dean doesn't want miss out on hooking up with her now, so he quickly gets back to the driver's seat grabs the keys from her and takes off down the road.
Janet starts to strip in the backseat while Dean is driving and Dean has a hard time keep his eyes focused forward. He keeps looking back at her through the rearview mirror and he gets more excited with every piece she takes off.
Janet: "Pull over there."
Dean pulls the car over on a small dirt road near and old abandoned warehouse.
Janet gets out of the car totally naked and Dean watches her nipples grow hard from the cold crisp air.
Janet jumps up on the hood of the car and lies against the windshield pressing her breasts up against the glass in front of Dean.
Dean can't take it anymore he quickly gets out of the car and starts undressing too.
Janet watches him and touches her own body gently rubbing her thighs, arms and breasts.
She jumps down from the hood unzips Dean's jeans and starts going down on him.
Dean leans against the side of the car as Janet goes to town licking and sucking like crazy.
Dean rubs her hair and clenches his teeth as she passionately plays with his balls.
After a few more minutes of foreplay, Janet stands back up and grins.
Janet: "Now it's my turn to take you for the ride. Open the trunk."
Dean: "Alright."
Dean pulls up his jeans then walks to back of the car and opens the trunk.
Janet follows him there and pulls out some rope from inside.
Dean smirks at her.
Dean: "Let me guess you want to tie me up?"
Janet nods seductively back.
Janet: "You think you can handle that?"
Dean: "Oh yeah, it's what I do."
Janet smirks at him then pushes Dean backwards towards the hood of the Impala again.
Janet: "Okay then lie down."
Dean gets on top of the car shirtless wearing only his unzipped jeans and underwear. He rests his back gently against the windshield.
Janet takes Dean's left arm and ties the rope around one side mirror then she pulls the rope over his chest and ties his right arm to the other side mirror strapping him down to the hood of the car like an animal.
Dean smirks enjoying the kinkiness of it all.
Janet makes sure the rope is nice and tight then she gets on top of Dean and kisses him.
Janet teases Dean's flesh kissing him all over for a good fifteen minutes or so until finally she gets off him and gets back into the car.
Dean frowns at her when she leaves him alone.
Dean: "Hey, what are you doing now?"
Janet: "I told you it's my turn to take you for a ride."
Janet turns the car on.
Dean gets a shocked look on his face when he realizes what she means.
Dean: "You wouldn't!"
Janet smirks at him and hits the gas!
Dean: "NO!"
Dean screams as car flies down the road headed towards the old warehouse with him strapped to front of the car.
Dean: "Stop! Stop! This isn't funny! Are you nuts?"
Janet just laughs and turns up the radio in the Impala so the music will drown out his screams
[Little Red Corvette plays over the radio]
"I guess I shoulda known Little red corvette I guess I shoulda closed my eyes Little red corvette A body like yours (A body like yours) Move over baby, gimme the keys Little red corvette Right down to the ground Girl, you got an ass like I never seen oh (Little red corvette) Little red corvette, baby, oh"
by the way you parked your car sideways
That it wouldn't last
See you're the kinda person
that believes in makin' out once
Love 'em and leave 'em fast
I guess I must be dumb
'Cuz you had a pocket full of horses
Trojan and some of them used
But it was Saturday night,
I guess that makes it all right
And you say what have I got to lose?
And honey I say
Baby you're much too fast
Little red corvette
You need a love that's gonna last
When you drove me to the place
where your horses run free
'Cuz I felt a little ill
When I saw all the pictures
Of the jockeys that were there before me
Believe it or not
I started to worry
I wondered if I had enough class
But it was Saturday night,
I guess that makes it all right
And you say, "Baby, have you got enough gas?
"Oh yeah
Baby you're much too fast,
yes your Little red corvette
You need to find a love that's gonna last, oh-oh
Oughta be in jail (Oughta be in jail)
'Cuz it's on the verge of bein' obscene
('Cuz it's on the verge) (of bein' obscene)
(Move over baby, gimme the keys)
I'm gonna try to tame your
(I'm gonna try to tame)
little red love machine
(your little red love machine)
Baby you're much to fast
Little red corvette
you need to find a love that's gonna last
Little red corvette
Honey you got to slow down (Got to slow down)
Little red corvette
'Cuz if you don't
your gonna run little red corvette right in the ground
(Little red corvette)
(Honey you got to slow down)
U - U - U got to slow down
(Little red corvette)
You're movin' much to fast (too fast)
You need to find a love that's gonna last
And the ride... I say the ride is so smooth
you must be a limousine
Baby you're much too fast
Little red corvette
You need a love,
YOu need a love that's, that's gonna last, oh
You got to slow down
(You got to slow down)
Little red corvette
'Cuz if you don't, 'cuz if you don't,
You gonna run your body right into the ground
(Right into the ground)
Right into the ground
(Right into the ground)
Right into the ground
(Right into the ground)
Dean feels nauseous, but worst of all he is freezing and burning up at the same time. The hood of the car heats up his butt till it hurts and the sharp cold night air blows over his front and makes his erection shrink.
Dean closes his eyes terrified that this is it and he is going to die because Janet is going to crash his car into the warehouse. She speeds up even faster as they approach a steel wall.
Dean doesn't even have time to pray to Castiel for help as the car suddenly crashes into the wall.
Scene: At Starbucks across the street from the Silverado Motel
Sam is use to his brother picking up all kinds of women and hooking up with them. He noticed earlier that during the entire ride into town Janet kept asking Dean a million questions about their car. Dean of course was happy to answer every one of them, but Sam found her curiosity and enthusiasm for it pretty strange.
Sam also noticed that she didn't have any bags with her not even a purse so of course she had no money to get her own room.
Sam figures this means Janet could be just a homeless streetwalker looking to score, but at worst Sam worries she may be something else.
He got her a drink of water from the bathroom sink before he left the room for the night, but she didn't respond to the holy water he slipped inside her cup so Sam knows he can rule out demonic possession, but then there are so many other creatures out there.
Or maybe there is no case here at all Sam thinks to himself maybe she is just a classic car lover like Dean. Sam realizes his brother may have just met his match with Janet.
He smiles at that thought as he sips on his coffee and continues reading news stories on his computer.
Sam reads one story about a young woman named Sally Ford who recently went missing in town. Her classic 1964 Ford Mustang was discovered outside an old abandoned factory in town that used to build cars, but has been closed down for years. The cops searched the factory up and down, but no body has been found yet.
Sam continues to read local reports of missing persons all of which drove classic cars. However, the cars were left untouched, but the people were gone.
Scene: Inside a Silverado Motel Room
The following morning Dean wakes up he is shocked to see that he is no longer lying on top of the Impala, but he is now back in his hotel room with Janet lying beside him still asleep.
Dean: "Janet?"
Janet rolls over still sleeping and nuzzles the pillow.
Dean realizes it must have all been some crazy silly nightmare and that it wasn't real so he gets out of bed to take a shower.
After his shower he realizes he left his toothbrush in the trunk so he heads out the door to retrieve it.
Scene: In the Parking Lot
Dean freaks out when he sees that the Impala isn't there.
He starts running around the parking lot checking to see if it's been moved, but he can't find it.
Sam starts walking towards him headed back to their motel room.
Sam: "Hey Dean, what is it? You look sick man."
Dean: "I am sick! My baby is gone!"
Sam: "Huh?"
Dean: "The car Sam! It's not here! I parked her right in front of our room last night and its not there!"
Sam: "Damn it! Well where's Janet then?"
Dean: "She's inside still sleeping, it wasn't her. Someone else stole my car!"
Sam: "We'll get the car back Dean, I promise."
Sam tries to put his hand on Dean's shoulder to comfort him, but Dean pulls away.
Dean: "I'm going to kill the bastard who took her!"
Sam: "Yeah, I know you will. But, dude are you sure Janet has nothing to do with this."
Dean frowns because honestly he's not sure what to think anymore.
Dean: "Let's wake her up and find out for sure!"
The brothers' race back to their motel room, but Janet is nowhere to be seen.
Dean: "Son of a Bitch!"
Sam sighs angrily until he turns around and looks out the window.
Sam: "Dean!"
Dean: "What?"
Dean turns to look outside too and his jaw drops when he sees his beloved Impala sitting outside right where he just looked for it a few minutes before.
Dean runs outside and kisses the hood of the car.
Dean: "Baby, I thought I lost you! Thank God, you're alright!"
Sam: "I'll call Bobby looks like we've found a new case after all."
Dean just keeps rubbing his car and smiling like a dog in heat.
Author's Note: This was just meant to be a short fun little one shot story about the Impala turning into a sexy woman for Dean so its pretty much done now, but if anyone wants me to actually solve the case in the future let me know.
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