So Lucy woke up after a good dream of crazy laughter of weird characters and talking cats. Amongst them she saw in particular a pink haired boy with a grin that promised unending adventures. A grin which she longed to see in a year at most. Her smile disappeared from her face as soon as she was conscious about the reality she was in. The reality confirming the sad truth of loneliness. She wasn't completely lonely as she had her spirits but when she thought about her friends, she felt an ache in her chest. She could have so much more. It was when then that her mind drifted to one person in particular that her hurt almost surpassed her anger. She would not let her thoughts of 'him' make her depressed again. He would return she was sure about it and than maybe her anger would have some resolve. But for now she had a big day before her. The final of the GMG.
"Yosh! Let's get ready for a new day!" With that she prepared herself to be ready for the upcoming event.
After mistaking someone else for 'him' ( it had happened a lot throughout this year and it was only him ), she looked down sadly at her guild mark giving an answer to Jason. She had thought about 'him' al tot in this past year. She already knew before he even left, that she loved him. When he left, the first couple of months, she thought that her feelings for him would fade away with time, something she sometimes almost wished so that her heart would hurt a little less, but the thought of loosing her feelings of first love made her cringe uncomfortably. It wasn't because she had failed in romance or something like that. It was because she truly believed Natsu was her first and last love. She knew that for a long time it would be one sided but signals he gave her throughout their friendship, made her think that unconsciously he loved her as well or so she hoped. She would fight for his love anyway.
Now thinking about it all made her feel so much emotions. Hurt for missing him, anger that he left her, and love for his being. She didn't know if she hated or loved him more. She had tried to get over him by busying herself to work and training and writing (dating other guys while holding feelings for another one was not her style. And well she felt uncomfortable with any guy that wasn't Natsu). All of her confused feelings and emotions ceased in the moment she saw him standing in the middle of the arena. She had imagined their reunion so many times and in most of them she tried to predict what her dominant emotion would be. She believed that anger would be the answer and she would give him a piece of mind for leaving her, but now actually seeing him after so much time with his radiant smile as the anchor of the past, a past filled with smiles and not so complicated present, it was as if time stopped. She was there alone with him with her bare chest and his simple greeting.
"Yo It's been a while, hasn't it, Lucy" At that moment she couldn't feel anger or sadness or anything at all that wasnt love for the idiot in front of her. With that look that she often gave him when she felt that feeling, she replied: "You okay?"
She would have raced to him not even thinking about her indecency, but the army stopped her though. They took away Natsu and Happy in a blink of an eye. Lucy rested dumbfounded about the situation. After she realized that she was half naked she raced to her house being careful no one saw her. Picking a new pair of clothes she went back to the palace to try and help her friends. In her mind was going all sort of thoughts. Now that the adrenaline of the moment was gone she reverted to her normal self. She was hesitant in warming up so fast to her best friends. She decided that she would act normal and let things happen. As soon as she arrived at the palace she was surprised seeing her two best friends walking up to her. She smiled inside knowing that they didn't changed that much.
"Glad to see that you've been acquitted" she told them with her hands behind her back, smiling slightly. Natsu smiled brightly at her.
"Lucy you came to see us all by yourself?" He asked shouting.
"Where are the others of the guild?" Asked Happy searching left and right. To this Lucy's face saddened. She half understood now.
"I think you dont know then" she told them quitely.
They were seated in the park. Lucy explained everything to the guys now having an unbelievable devastated look.
"It happened the day you left" said Lucy understandingly.
"Fairy tail broke. I can't believe it" said Natsu sulking. Lucy could understand what he was feeling now. She had too when it happened.
"I still cant understand it fully myself" she told them.
"Where is gramp. If i find him i will burn his mustaches" Natsu was rambling in anger.
"Master is missing" said Lucy
"Still how could they let it happen. Laxus could have taken the charge . What about Erza Gray and the others?"
"Everyone got their separate ways" replied Lucy nonchalantly.
"I cant believe this. How could everyone be okay with the guild gone..."
"...I wonder" said Lucy in a little voice that Natsu didn't hear.
"How could they let it happen, even if the master decided to disband the guild Everyone should had refused" Natsu was really angry now.
"Do you have the right to say this Natsu?" Lucy's face was unreadable she was finally feeling her resentment against her best friend for leaving her. "After all, you never did think of the guild, did you? You didn't ever discuss it with anyone when you left for your journey..." she stopped herself from going on after she saw the uneasy look on Natsu's face. He had his reasons too, it just hurt that she wasn't as important to him than she thought but he was here now so that was good enough. "Sorry I think you and Happy had a lot on your minds too." Natsu looked a bit concerned but she let it slide. After that she offered them a place to stay, ordered Happy to not destroy it, cut Natsu's hair and warned them of not going to her room. After that, they had dinner and talked about everything that happened in between this year. For the first time in a year she finally felt happy together with them. For the first time in so much time she laughed without a worry. Like all was good in the world. This was what Natsu was to her. He was her anchor. After that they went to bed.
Lucy woke up debating about getting a day off to spend with her friends or going to work and go out after. She was surprised to not find them in the house that morning but shrugged it off telling herself that they went exploring the city. She felt a bit disappointed at the thought of not including her but went to prepare herself for work. When she was ready to go out, some marching outside her window, stopped her.
"What is going on?" She asked frightened now.
"So they sniffed it out so soon, I think" came a voice behind her. She turned seeing Natsu with Happy with that compromising look she was often regarded with.
"What did you do Natsu?" She shrieked in her accusatory tone. He grinned at her and in a blink of an eye she found herself in his hands, with him running down the street chased by the army.
"How did I get sucked in your shenanigans...?!" Shrieked Lucy. "You can put me down now" she ordered uncomfortable by the compromising position she was currently. As she was running after him a lot of emotions was going on. Anger for breaking her daily routine, disappointment for not telling her, exhaustion for getting out of trouble and then... excitement. A feeling so familiar to her but so distant, but now she was feeling that same feeling she once felt whenever he was near. She already knew she couldn't tell him no, whatever he asked her, but she at least needed to know what were they doing.
"What did you do Natsu?" She asked seriously now. Natsu responded with a cheeky grin of his own.
"I raised the beacon for the revival of Fairy Tail! In the place where it should be more visible. Go big or go home!"
"And that is the type of flame it won't go away so easily!" Interjected Happy.
"That is the least of my worries!" Answered Lucy now feeling a bit uncomfortable. "Even if you say you want to revive Fairy Tail-" she was cut off by what she called 'Natsu moment'. A moment when Natsu always impressed everyone. He was sometime called an idiot or something because he was not very bright but Lucy knew it wasn't the case. Sometimes in the heat of the battle or when the situation was serious, he would speak like a philosopher. Some of the phrases he spoke were imprinted deeply inside Lucy's mind. The one she remembered at the moment was when in Edolas they fought against the mecha-dragon. She heard it from Wendy recalling the fight. When Gajeel, Wendy and Natsu used the first dragon roar they used almost their magical power. They were giving up but Natsu stood. Gajeel told him that they had finished their magical power so it was useless but Natsu answered back more strongly. 'I will summon it. I will summon my tomorrow share.' It was at that moment that Lucy had her goosebumps from such strong words. Not even her as a writer was able to get such devastating words. Natsu was like a beacon in the worst times for anyone who needed help. Such was this time too.
"We can do it if we believe it" that was the problem. Lucy didn't truly believed that she would be able to revive Fairy Tail by herself, but now when he was there with her, she believed, she believed they could do everything. "We are gonna get everyone together and bring the guild back again!" He was facing her with that smile, the same smile on that faithful day. That smile that gave a promise, a promise that would never be broken. A promise of adventure and no regrets. The same promise he made to her 9 years ago. That promise that made her remember why she loved him.
"Come on!" Tears started from her eyes. Damn that year away from him. Damn the anger and unsolved issues between them. Damn the unhappy past. Now she was with him. They were together. She would still give him a piece of mind but she would take his hand and follow him to the end of earthland. Using her exploding emotions she was feeling she answered the same way she did 9 years ago.
"Yeah!"
They were outside Crocus. They had been walking for about an hour. Lucy was walking side by side with Natsu with Happy hovering above them carrying her bag. They were silent. Lucy was stealing glances on Natsu as though making sure he was there. She often did it even before, being careful to not get caught by it. The strange thing now was that she caught him look her way two or three times, the last one being an awkward interaction between them. Locking eyes, widening in surprise and shame and then laugh awkwardly to lower the tension. She shook her head and approached him linking their arms together. To this she felt him stiffen for a moment and smiled inwardly. Never in her life she felt the might Natsu be so cautious about her. He still teased her and had his charismatic character but he would be conscious about her feelings now and she was very glad and a bit weirded out.
"I'm glad that you are here, you know that right?" she asked him still walking by his side with their arms linked. He looked at her with a surprised look. His eyes was searching for something that even her couldn't know what it was.
"You know Luce, I'm sorry for dragging you in to this and I would completely understand if you want to return back." He said to her seriously. Her frown was immediate. A million question through her mind. That wasn't the reply she was waiting for. Didn't he wanted her with him? Maybe that year apart changed their relationship more than what she thought. With her voice trembling from the emotions she spoke again.
"I…I… What the hell does that mean Natsu?" she shouted at him indignantly. Natsu backed away from her ire and grinned sheepishly.
"I know how important writing is to you and from what I saw, you achieved quite a goal in Crocus, so I don't want you to give up your dream for another troublesome adventure with me. I will definitely bring our guild back so you can regroup when it's revived and in the meantime you can still work on what you were doing." Lucy was taken aback by his words. She couldn't decide whether to be pleased that he was so considerate or to be offended that maybe he didn't wanted her with him like in that fucking journey. Her outburst was immediate.
"Look here you friggin idiot, it's true that writing is one of my dreams but no journalism. It's not that I hate it but I did for other reasons and so you know I would gladly give up on my writing to be again with you." She cringed at the insinuation and added quickly. " all of you guys. I need to be there when it happens and I need to know that it will happen." Her voice was trembling a little bit and she felt tears in her eyes. Putting her hands on her eyes to prevent him from seeing her so fragile she asked in desperation "Didn't you m-miss e-even a little bit?" Natsu's breath hitched. Happy was looking at them concerned. On Natsu's face appeared a smile. A true genuine smile. He approached the girl and encased her in his arms. She stopped crying immediately, too surprised by the sudden action. Natsu's head was resting on top of hers. He inhaled deeply and responded.
"I understood something this past year. I would give up on being a mage if it meant being together with you" He backed away leaving a startled Lucy never so confused as she was now. Wait he didn't add with you guys. Clearly he had forget about it. She turned around seeing that he was already a few hundred of meters ahead.
"The look on your face is so stupid Lucy" snickered a blue cat from above. She quickly raged after him completely forgetting the short exchange that happened before. Soon things went normal again with the three of them talking casually and Lucy talking about her year alone (excluding the sad parts of course). Walking for about some hours they found themselves at Tuly village. Natsu was bored. Lucy looked at the map and confirmed.
"Okay guys let's rest on an inn tonight!"
"Aye!" responded Happy. He looked over Natsu and sensed his distress.
"What's wrong Natsu? Ah look it's that bell tower you broke once…" Natsu studied the tower and answered.
"Yeah they had put a line boundary where it was destroyed. It is kind of weird."
"Yeah!"answered Happy. Natsu looked conflicted and responded after a pause.
"Maybe I should destroy it again!" Lucy's reaction was immediate. She quickly punched him on the head with her map, in shock from his answer.
"No you don't idiot!" In frustration finally Natsu bursted out.
"Ahhh there is no action at all. Why the hell was all that training for. So much for crushing Gray and challenging Erza with Laxus when we are together." He quickly turned his head until saw the celestial mage. "Lucy you will do just fine for the moment!"
"No way!" answered Lucy then cheekily added. "Was the response you would hear but that is not the case. I did a lot of training myself too so you know" Natsu was impressed and added an 'Oh!' response. Searching now for her keys she continued "I would not be able to beat you at your best but what do you say for a bit of sparring." She was very excited to show him that she had become more powerful. Suddenly Natsu heard something.
"Wait a minute" he demanded. Lucy quickly asked worried.
"What's wrong?" Natsu turned around and shoot a blast from his mouth directly between Lucy's feet just under her skirt. Lucy quickly pulled her legs together in reflex. She was mortified and thought that it was some kind of prank.
"Hey what was that all about." She asked taunting him. He smiled sheepishly at her ingenuinity of the situation occurred. (he just saved a man from a robbery some miles away) He wasn't the kind to be arrogant so responded. "Don't sweat it Lucy!" now in indignation Lucy responded back. "I got quite strong too you know" He had sensed that Lucy magic was stronger than ever and as much as he wanted to spar with her he couldn't bring himself to hurt her. He just asked her as a thing he did in the past believing that Lucy wouldn't accept. He would have time in the future to be impressed by her new power.
"I lost interest anyway." He added.
"Hey!" was the response of the blonde mage.
After arriving at the Kotoko inn they had rented a room for two. It was then that Natsu had asked about where to find the guild members and if Lucy had specific positions about them.
"You don't know where all of them are?!" asked Natsu in disbelief. Lucy was currently concentrating on her thoughts. She knew it wasn't the best shot they had but they would find a way.
"Well it's true that I gathered information about them all this time but it was impossible to know exactly where they are. First thing first we have to go to Margharet Town where Lamia scale guild is located to."
"Oh it's where Jura and Lyon are. They are a great challenge" answered Natsu getting excited.
"Oh and that doggy looking face too" said Happy.
"And guess who made it to Lamia scale?" asked blinking one eye at them Lucy.
Natsu and Happy looked confused but they wouldn't ruin the surprise.
"Well I'll go and take a bath you could go and get something to eat in the meantime." Said Lucy to them. Natsu quickly nodded and gave Lucy a thumbs up. He was excited that this was happening. Lucy was there with him and this journey was just starting. Maybe tonight he would get some confessions out of his being.
"Lucy, would you want your favorite. Pizza with extra cheese and coca-cola?" Lucy looked sheepishly at him.
"Natsu I'm really glad that you are offering but that food isn't that good for my body. I have a sesnsation that I'm getting a bit fat so I'm on a diet" to this she was surprised when she heard a scoff from Natsu. She thought he would make fun of her appearance like he often did. The cat was still snickering waiting for a chance to attack but Natsu quickly said.
"Pftt, Your body is perfect Lucy. I would say you were like a feather when I carried you this morning. If you want my opinion you have the most amazing body I have seen in an entire year!" he said grinning at her.
"What?!" said Happy confused. He didn't saw that much of a change in to Lucy anyway. Lucy now was a squirming reddened body with her head not looking at the floor. She was unable to speak. The only words that she found herself getting out were "Buy it!" with that she left for the bathroom as quick as possible. The only thing she heard was a confused 'Weirdo' from the dragon slayer. She heard the front door close and she finally fell in her knees clutching her erratic heart. 'What was that?' she asked feeling extremely flustered. 'Just a comment from her best friend and she would be reduced to a mess like this. She thought she managed to control her emotions and feelings toward him and yet there she was. But could you blame her, the stupid Natsu had just complimented her on her most vulnerable trait of her. Her weight and her body. She wasn't even sure Natsu could appreciate a female body nevermind hers. She had a lot of insecurities with her physical image but never in a million years she would have expected Natsu appreciating her body. He didn't even say a lame compliment, he said she had the most amazing body. What was wrong with him. A smile graced her face. It was impossible for her to not smile. His opinion was what she cherished the most even if she didn't showed it. 'Natsu! What are you doing to me?' she thought.
"Hey Natsu what was that all about?" asked Happy.
"Hmm. What do you mean?" asked confused Natsu. They were currently ordering food. With the prize from the king of Fiore they had gathered quite a lot of money.
"I mean, you never complimented Lucy like that. You know how she can be with a little flattery." Natsu thought about it and answered truly.
"Well I think Lucy had got a lot through this year and she deserves some good in return. I would make sure to compliment her a lot more if it means that it make her happy. Besides it wasn't a compliment if what I said is what I believe." To this Happy was dumbfounded with his mouth agape. Natsu quickly took the food and returned to their room waiting for Happy to unfreeze.
Lucy had finally been able to stop her thoughts of little Natsus inside her home calling her mommy. It wasn't that simple right. It wasn't time to dream about onesided love. They had a mission for crying out loud, but she couldn't help it. His comment was still fresh in her mind, it was often transformed in a confession. 'You have the most amazing body I have ever seen Lucy. Let me carry your featherless body to our honeymoon bed.' Natsu was currently in his 'dream form' like she liked to call it. Her only response was linking both of her arms with him and 'Yeah!'. 'arghhhh what are you thinking Lucy? Isn't he the one that left you behind for a year. Isn't he the one that hurt you. He didn't even said a proper goodbay. But I cant help I lo-' She was cut off from the sound of the door opening and his voice booming in the house.
"Lucy its me I got your favorite" Lucy tried her voice to see if it was steady then answered.
"I'm finishing the bath in two minutes and I'm out. Make the table ready I'm starving!" she half yelled knowing that he could hear her.
"Okay" was the response of the fire dragon slayer. Lucy quickly dressed and got out of the bathroom. She found Happy and Natsu waiting for her and the table full of food. What she noticed was that they even bought her cake. Her face showed how delighted she was. She went and hugged the two of them, startling them.
"Thanks guys! You did a great job with the table and food." Natsu patted the her back and went to grab a chair for her.
"It's been a long time since we had such a good dinner away from home, hasn't it?" Asked Natsu. Lucy looked at him and smiled slightly. She knew it wasn't easy for too. Natsu wouldn't leave his family behind if he hadn't a strong reason. They ate and chatted like the year between them hadn't even happened. After that Happy decided that he was tired and excused himself to sleep. Natsu wasn't that tired and had some reasons too. He heard Lucy yawn. She looked pretty tired.
"You mind if I go to sleep Natsu? It has been a long day." Said Lucy already getting out of her chair. She was stopped by a hand.
"Actually Lucy I may have something to tell you…but if you are really tired…" he trailed off. Lucy saw that he was serious even if his tone was weak. And she would never pass on serious issues. She nodded and Natsu stood. She followed him outside on their small balcony. Outside was dark and they had a village view with the tower bell. It was quiet and comfortable. Natsu leaned against the rail facing the horizon. Lucy went by his side leaning against the rail too. She studied his face and so that he was conflicted. She wanted to comfort him but firstly she needed to know what was going on. Finally he looked her way with such intensity that she felt her knees getting weak.
"Thanks!" he said and her eyes widened. A small blush formed on her cheeks.
"I..-I what?!" she stuttered like an idiot. "What is with you all of sudden?" He smiled at her and looked at the horizon again.
"Thanks for everything Lucy. For never surrendering, for getting information about everybody. For never stopping believing and… for believing in me. Thanks, really!" he said to her. Lucy's heart was pounding so loud and she knew he could hear it. She didn't even know what to say. She never expected those words. The only thing that came to her mind was thanking him too, just so much more for what he had done for her. Before she could answer something he continued. "I know that it isn't easy living with me, enduring me, supporting my idiocy sometimes and letting slide my mistakes, but you do. You are special." Her breath hitched at that word. Her face was so red and she couldn't find in herself to tear her eyes away from him. Finally she got some words to lower the tension that grew in the air.
"Ha ha, you are exaggerating, I'm not that special, everybody has to endure your idiocy too" she tried to fake a cheeky smile but failed miserably. Natsu turned her head her way again.
"You are special to me." He said. She couldn't get more flustered right because now she was a mass of squirming. She needed to get the hell out of here or she would do something she would regret later. Maybe trying to fake a tummy ache . Everything was better than this tension. "I want to tell you the reason why I didn't brought you with me but I want you to hear me to the end" Now that perked up her curiosity. Everything before that just faded because now she would be able to find what was the reason of being left behind, of being hurt.
"Don't think for a second that I wanted to leave you behind or that you would have been a bargain or something like that." Well half of her fears went away just with that. She had often theorized that maybe Natsu thought of her as a bothering to his training but that didn't seem the case. "For all I know it wasn't even for you not being safe with me on our journey. I actually thought of you being stronger if you went with me…" he trailed off.
"Then why?" she whispered. Even her was out of reasons. Maybe he thought that she would have declined their offer.
"It was for me." He continued. Now Lucy was confused but didn't questioned. "Yes it was for some selfish reason. You know that I searched for Igneel for years until it became my dream and my goal. When he died before my eyes, there wasn't just the pain that he left behind…" to this words Lucy reflexively went on his side circling his back comfortingly. He sighed at the contact but continued."it was the emptiness too." Her other hand grabbed his hand in a message that she was there for him. "I lost my goal too and my dream, I was empty and lost. I had to find a new goal. I needed some fresh air. I needed to get away from home, away from comfort you know. I needed to explore alone and maybe take a break from responsibilities and everything." Lucy could finally grasp what he was saying. She had felt like that when her dad died too. She felt empty but for different reasons. Natsu still continued. "But that wasn't the only reason. Yes I needed to get stronger to protect my family and you Lucy but that isn't the full picture. I was ashamed that so many people got hurt in Tartaros and that I wasn't able to protect what was more precious to me. I wasn't able to protect my dream how would I have been able to protect something more important than that."
"What?" asked Lucy squeezing his hand.
"Home!" he said. "So I wanted to punish myself for that and the only way to do that, was getting away from my happy days with the guild and more importantly getting away from home!" Now Lucy understood finally. He did it as a form of punishment and to get stronger but she wasn't getting why he had left her behind. He took Happy with him.
"But why did you left me then Natsu, I'm not getting it." He smiled sheepishly at her. He fully turned and encircled her body with his warm hands like he did before on the same day too.
"Isn't that obvious weirdo? You are 'Home'!" he said and went inside not even before her eyes went wide from the stupor. She clutched her heart that was going to explode any moment now. Her face was heated so much that she couldn't comprehend a thing. Did Natsu just meant it that way? Was she seeing deep in things? Maybe tomorrow she could ask him what did he meant as for tonight it was too late. She couldn't even face him in this moment She couldn't get her hopes too high or that would be devastating but an impossible smile crept on her face and wouldn't leave it even when she drifted to sleep just an arm length away from him.
End of first chapter. Please tell me if I should continue this or should just close it in two or three chapters. I want to follow the manga and just add what would have happened, had Natsu and Lucy gotten together. What would their interaction be and what changes it would have meant for the manga!